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My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.


Erma Bombeck

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It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else. -Erma Bombeck.
ERMA BOMBECK This is my second pick as far as my favorite golf course, with my first being Augusta. I couldn't af...
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JAVAGAL SRINATH teacher:"I'm teacher, not because i want to teach children something. I am teacher just because I li...
MY TEACHER What I did, you know, being away from my family, letting so many people down. I let myself down, not...
MICHAEL VICK I'm telling you, until I shaved my head, I never realized how much heat is lost through the top ...
BRYAN CRANSTON I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was 'the man goes on top and the woman under...
JOAN RIVERS I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was 'the man goes on top and the woman u...
JOAN RIVERS My brain? That's my second favorite organ.
WOODY ALLEN 'Bunk' is a comedy game show where, each week, three of my favorite comedians compete in a s...
KURT BRAUNOHLER Squatting on my bed–after twelve years of trying and missing, in about two minutes total–I put m...
ASPEN MATIS I remember hitting my head and kind of collapsing.
ASHLEY LLOYD My first world is humanity. My second world is humanism. And, I live in the third world being merely...
SANTOSH KALWAR I find vacuuming very therapeutic, but I hate ironing. I usually have no shirt on while ironing, bec...
WARWICK DAVIS My favorite piece of furniture is my bed, cause' it's fluffy and so comfortable!
VIVICA A. FOX I lost my footing on the deck, and I literally somersaulted over the rail, hitting my head on the si...
CRAIG MCCABE I lost my footing on the deck and I literally somersaulted over the rail, hitting my head on the sid...
CRAIG MCCABE I can't towel-dry my hair, because it'll tangle. So I put a towel on the bed and smack my head on th...
ALANIS MORISSETTE I would say time is definitely one of my top three favorite dimensions.
RANDALL MUNROE I love books and going to bookstores. My favorite sound is the sound of the needle hitting the recor...
WINONA RYDER I could feel a fire going up my arm, across my chest and out the top of my head. The only way I can ...
DONNA KULFAN The Broken Top area is my favorite. It has the best vistas.
JARL BERG Sunset is still my favorite color, and rainbow is second.
MATTIE STEPANEK A boy doesn't have to go to war to be a hero; he can say he doesn't like pie when he sees there isn'...
EDGAR WATSON HOWE most men and women, by birth or nature, lack the means to advance in wealth or power, but all have t...
PYTHAGORAS Aerosmith's 'Rocks' is on the list of my top favorite albums of all time.
TOMMY LEE My favorite food from my homeland is Guinness. My second choice in Guinness. My third choice - would...
PETER O'TOOLE abundant feeling of your presence in front of Allah is enjoy full solitude state where you are in bo...
M.I.SHAIKH MY SELF It's raining spiders, seriously. Maybe that's a bad sign.
MY MORNING JACKET At Dawn/Tennessee Fire Demos
MY MORNING JACKET You go up there and it's just this amazing place on top of a mountain,
MY MORNING JACKET Sleep is a death, O make me try, By sleeping, what it is to die: And as gently lay my head ...
SIR THOMAS BROWNE I have a scar on my forehead. I was three years old, jumping on the bed with my brothers, and I fell...
JAMIE-LYNN SIGLER The lampshade on my head is for my bright ideas. I won't be able to convey them until Monday, when m...
BAUVARD I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing.
PHYLLIS DILLER My only writing ritual is to shave my head bald between writing the first and second drafts of a boo...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK I am hitting my head against the walls, but the walls are giving way.
GUSTAV MAHLER I used to tell my three younger siblings stories because that was my household chore, and I told lon...
KERRY GREENWOOD My favorite part of my appearance is my height. I'm five foot one and I feel feminine being smal...
ALANNA UBACH Music is my life.
ROBERT ILER Oh my gosh, if I could be on '30 Rock', my life would be made. That is my favorite show. My ...
WENDI MCLENDON-COVEY I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard.
PHYLLIS DILLER I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard
PHYLLIS DILLER One of my favorite stories is my first kissing scene with Linda Gray.
CHRISTOPHER ATKINS I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing
PHYLLIS DILLER It's almost bed time, so I'll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season...
ANONYMOUS My favorite first food was pizza. I like broccoli.
EMMANUEL GAI SOLOMON On the first or second pitch of the inning, I landed on my (left) heel instead of my toes in the del...
GIOVANNI CARRARA My favorite color is jungle green. At least, that's what it said on the side of my favorite cray...
MIKE POSNER TaskRabbit is really my first baby. So balancing the second child is something I've tackled, but...
LEAH BUSQUE The first thing I do in the morning is to make my bed and while I am making up my bed I am making up...
ROBERT FROST Music is my life. It is sacred.
JIMMY CHAMBERLIN My first class is about still in the bed and you guys are my most talkative bunch.
JEAN WEBB I am grateful for the lessons I learned from my parents' sacrifices. They often had trouble maki...
RICK SCOTT I always make my favorite pancakes with milk, and I also add some fruit - like a banana or apple wit...
GABRIELA ISLER I can tell you that, you know, when I went to my first movie premiere, it was my own movie, and I wo...
DIANE LANE I was ironing my own clothes when I was 11 years old. My mental strength goes back to those days.
CRISTIANO RONALDO I have twenty personalities on top of the ten I already have. So now I have thirty people in my head...
RIVER PHOENIX It was like being in a sandstorm. It was cold. The top of my head was just coated with ice.
REGINA WYCOFF At a young age school came first. It was put in my head that school was first and swimming was secon...
EMILY PFERDEHIRT In my downtime, I love eating. It's pretty much my favorite hobby. Discovering new restaurants a...
CHRISTIE LAING I've skated all my life, and I've never come close to hitting my head. I never wore a helmet. I neve...
DAN NEWELL Up until I started on YouTube, my first love was musical theater.
SAM TSUI Sometime soon. I've got to work on my career a little bit first. I love performing live. That's prob...
DIANA DEGARMO I carried my Oscar to bed with me. My first and only three-way happened that night.
HALLE BERRY I've got to wait until Wednesday until I start throwing, hitting, see how it feels, ... I want to ta...
ALEX GONZALEZ I really wanted to win the 50 being the top seed in that, but I messed up my dive. So also being the...
COURTNEY CASHION Love is my favorite drug; I overdose on it regularly.
MATSHONA DHLIWAYO Who knew hitting my head and passing out would be so much fun?
P.C. CAST My favorite position is catcher because it gives me the control of the game. I can call time(out) wh...
CASSIDY WHIDDEN I remember I was a scared rookie, hitting .220 after the first three months of my baseball season, a...
CARL YASTRZEMSKI I had the longest, biggest bowl cut. It looked like I had a perfectly straightened mop on the top of...
CAMERON DALLAS My favorite travel pastime is writing music, either with my guitar or on my computer.
ALEXANDER LUDWIG My skull, my eyes, my nose three times, my jaw, my shoulder, my chest, two fingers, a knee, everythi...
NORMAN O. BROWN During my first matches at Newcastle, I just watched the ball pass over my head!
LAURENT ROBERT Looking back, I realize my favorite stories weren't in books, they were in comics. On top of bei...
JEFF KINNEY If I feel physically as if the top of my head were taken off, I know that is poetry.
EMILY DICKINSON I have a maple leaf tattoo over my heart, quite literally, and my two favorite things on Earth are b...
JAY BARUCHEL That's the real work, being away from my loved ones, my family, my household. There's nothin...
ROMAN REIGNS I love being a father. It's one of my big jobs is just being a parent. It's one of my favori...
AARON TAYLOR-JOHNSON Wiffle ball was my first experience hitting left-handed.
BEN ZOBRIST But it was in this moment, lying in bed late at night, that I first realized that the voice in my he...
DAN HARRIS Being in Weezer's just gotten so much more fun over the years. I love almost every part of my jo...
RIVERS CUOMO You fell asleep and a monster crawled from out of my head and found its way under my bed
YESENIA BARKLEY The hardest thing about writing my second album is that I had 20 years to write my first album.
HALSEY My sisters are my favorite people on earth.
RYAN PHILLIPPE I think my first hit was probably '24 is a Rubberband Man,' which was my second album. My fi...
T.I. Lovingly crafted and super-creative cupcakes are not exactly on tap in my household after a full day...
EMILY OSTER In the second half, I got my wind. In the first half, I didn't have my wind.
REGGIE EVANS The atmosphere in here (Friday) was electric. That was my second-favorite game ever.
CRAIG DAHL I remember my first time in the Champions League. I was 18, and it was Arsenal against Milan at The ...
ALEXANDRE PATO To have the knowledge that would make my father proud is a gift that has not been handed to me on a ...
GARY F EVANS... I really, really like 'In Rainbows.' But I also really like 'OK Computer' as a sort ...
PHOEBE TONKIN My favorite special skill on my resume is 'excellent monkey noises.'
CIARA RENEE My mother always told me
No monster lived beneath my bed,
But she had failed to warn me ERIN HANSON I'm not familiar with the ordinance off the top of my head.
PHIL RAMON Action is my first love. When I first started writing, my favorite movies were 'Raiders of the L...
DAVID LESLIE JOHNSON A game one of my sisters will play with me in my first year of being alive is called Good Baby, Bad ...
ALI SMITH Being a novelist and being a mother have exactly coincided in my life: the call from my agent saying...
BARBARA KINGSOLVER I kept on digging the hole deeper and deeper looking for the treasure chest until I finally lifted ...
SIR JOHN DENHAM

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ERMA BOMBECK There are people who put their dreams in a little box and say, "Yes, I've got dreams, of course I've...
ERMA BOMBECK Making coffee has become the great compromise of the decade. It's the only thing "real" men do that ...
ERMA BOMBECK For years [my wedding ring] has done its job. It has led me not into temptation. It has reminded my ...
ERMA BOMBECK Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time.
ERMA BOMBECK Girls mature faster than boys, cost more to raise, and statistics show that the old saw about girls ...
ERMA BOMBECK If Life is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits?
ERMA BOMBECK Getting out of the hospital is a lot like resigning from a book club. You're not out of it until...
ERMA BOMBECK There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
ERMA BOMBECK One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of ...
ERMA BOMBECK Before you try to keep up with the Joneses, be sure they're not trying to keep up with you.
ERMA BOMBECK There is one thing I have never taught my body how to do and that is to figure out at 6 A.M. what it...
ERMA BOMBECK I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.
ERMA BOMBECK A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
ERMA BOMBECK How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?
ERMA BOMBECK What's with you men? Would hair stop growing on your chest if you asked directions somewhere?
ERMA BOMBECK Never let anyone treat you like regular glue. You're glitter glue.
ERMA BOMBECK As a child, my number one best friend was the librarian in my grade school. I actually believed all...
ERMA BOMBECK You couldn't get me on Mars if it were the last place on earth.
ERMA COHEN Companions were not allowed to lie. I don’t know why. I had tried a few times when I was young to ...
ERMA I TALAMANTE