God created man, but I could do better.

If you can't make it better, you can laugh at it.

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me.

If you can't make it better, you can laugh at it.

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.

Somewhere it is written that parents who are critical of other people's children and publicly admit they can do better are asking for it.