It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows.
Erma Bombeck
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It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows
ERMA BOMBECK Never have more children than you have car windows.
ERMA BOMBECK It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else. -Erma Bombeck.
ERMA BOMBECK It goes without saying, you have to win. You have to win more than one of them. You have to win a co...
BRAD SODERBERG If silence is a language than count how much you have said without saying it
DEEPAK KUMAR You have a car that goes from being a usable car to what some call a lawn ornament -- you park it on...
CLARENCE DITLOW Never admit that your back goes out more than you do.
JOAN RIVERS I hate Erma," I told Mom...
"You have to show compassion for her..." She added that you should ...
JEANNETTE WALLS Why be greedy when you can have it all.
ANTHONY T. HINCKS If nature had arranged that husbands and wives should have children alternatively, there would never...
LAURENCE HOUSMAN I'm not saying it because I'm sweet. I'm saying it because I love you now and I always have. More th...
NICHOLAS SPARKS Never say one car is better than another until you have driven both.
DELARA ZAMANI You look like you got more of a bath than the car. I never
thought washing a car would be so ha...
JENNIFER L. ARMENTROUT I don't have to tell you it goes without saying there are some things better left unsaid. I think th...
GEORGE CARLIN Long-time viewing of Internet violence tend to change a person's temperament, making the person pron...
YOU QUANXI If positive and healthy materials are absent, negative materials are sure to be dominant in the cybe...
YOU QUANXI In a robust global business environment, our business units operated well in the first quarter. More...
HARRY YOU The Board of Directors and I are pleased to recognize Peter's outstanding contribution to the succes...
HARRY YOU We are pleased to close the books on 2004 following the painstaking review of almost five years of f...
HARRY YOU It goes without saying, ... But they have goals and winning district is the first one.
ERICA GARCIA You have no more right to consume happiness without producing it, than you do to consume wealth with...
GEORGE BERNARD SHAW You can perhaps, in a number of circumstances, tell yourself that you can't have more than you have ...
CRISS JAMI Your partner may have injuries that you can't repair. Your partner may be trapped in a dark room wit...
MICHAEL BEN ZEHABE Should we have background checks, waiting periods? To drive a car you have to pass a test that shows...
MICHAEL D. BARNES You've got that look about you, like you've seen more than you should have.
JOHN LARKIN There's some conflict there -- on the one hand, you have Atlas for doing cross-platform Windows appl...
PAUL COLTON I've never been in love with the luxury tax. I think that goes without saying.
BILLY HUNTER ...Okay... probably now you have read all my books up to now..., you have check out everything what ...
DEYTH BANGER The walls are literally windows on one side. The deck is a feature everyone appreciates. Even if you...
MARILYN ANDERSEN Growing up, you hear Tupac's music, it's kind of like... it goes without saying that everyon...
DEMETRIUS SHIPP, JR. You should never have to minimize your greatness so that others feel more comfortable
MUNEEBAH ABDULLAH You may never have proof of your importance but you are more important than you think. There are alw...
ROBERT FULGHUM There will always be someone better looking; better off; smarter; richer; thinner; taller; shorter; ...
ANTHONY T. HINCKS You can never go more than three or four hours without having something to nibble on or eat - you ha...
RANDY JACKSON A fragrance that matches the personality of the man or woman who wears it is an integral part of the...
DREE HEMINGWAY So that makes time more precious, doesn’t it? More precious than money, more precious than anythin...
CECELIA AHERN If a thing goes without saying -- let it.
JACOB BRAUDE The advantage of children: they are still far from the solitude without doors, without windows of ob...
MARIANA FULGER I have learned more from my mistakes than from my successes.
HUMPHRY DAVY The truth is, when you have little to do, you do very little. But when you have much to do, you do m...
RICHELLE E. GOODRICH In America there's a saying that children should be seen and not heard, ... In Cambodia, children sh...
LOUNG UNG We're not saying adults should never drink, but that they should have a safe way home.
HEIDI COLEMAN You don't try to do more than you should.
KARL MALONE It goes without saying to this group that there could be no bigger challenge than to try and plan ef...
DENNIS ELLIS If it wasn't for life, I wouldn't have you.
ANTHONY T. HINCKS It feels like we lost more than one game out there. We probably should have focused more. Sometimes ...
AARON DAVIS It should have been more than that. When you hit the quarterback, especially with the crown of your ...
JEREMIAH TROTTER There are two things in life you cannot choose. The first is your enemies; the second your family. S...
CARLOS RUIZ ZAFóN The only defense is offense, which means that you have to kill more women and children more quickly ...
STANLEY BALDWIN If you are facing a new challenge or being asked to do something that you have never done before don...
JOYCE MEYER It goes without saying that the Jewish people can have no other goal than Palestine and that, whatev...
THEODOR HERZL To have more... Be more. Do more. Give more.
LORRIN L. LEE I own a Jaguar, but I bought it eight years old and paid $11,000 for it in cash. You can't get a new...
BRIAN O'REILLY I appreciate the fact that you have one redeeming quality, Jack, but that is all it is. Just a hint ...
K.A. LINDE If we don't plant the right things, we will reap the wrong things. It goes without saying. And y...
MAYA ANGELOU True repentance isn't just saying, "I'm sorry". It's. saying "I'm sorry, I'll never, ever do that ag...
SERITA ANN JAKES The question is no longer whether the United States should contribute to assuring Israel's survi...
GEORGE BALL It goes without saying that it's hard to attain a certain level of success.
T.I. It goes without saying that when you're the manager of a Premiership club, you go eight miles do...
KEVIN KEEGAN Thank you for saying that I said that. I should have got that patented. I should have done that. I c...
SANTANA MOSS If you own the land, you have a long-term investment with more security that the timber will be ther...
DAVID LARSEN Never have more faith in the world than you do in yourself.
VIKRANT PARSAI It goes without saying that when you're the manager of a Premiership club, you go eight miles down t...
KEVIN KEEGAN You have had seven and one half years of freedom that you never should have had.
RICHARD ALSETH Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.
ERMA BOMBECK “You have brains think. Your child scratchs on your car and you grow wild. Wanting to beat that ch...
THE INSPIRATIONIST What do you suppose is the use of a child without any meaning? Even a joke should have some meaning-...
LEWIS CARROLL My core belief is that if you're complaining about something for more than three minutes, two mi...
CAITLIN MORAN It goes without saying that it's a big game, we knew that even before the Chelsea game,
JULIO ARCA My philosophy is: If you can't have fun, there's no sense in doing it.
PAUL WALKER What you do, say, and have reveal who you are.
LORRIN L. LEE It goes without saying that 'Buncha Losers' comedies speak to tough times. The massive unemp...
ROB SHEFFIELD More often than not, a heros most epic battle is the one you never see; its the battle that goes...
KEVIN SMITH I think it goes without saying that young would-be playwrights in developmental workshops should be ...
THERESA REBECK You will be amused when you see that I have more than once deceived without the slightest qualm of c...
GIACOMO CASANOVA You shouldn't have anything without a title and every part off the vehicle should have a serial numb...
DENNIS CLAY It goes without saying that to make so much out of so little is a tour de force, ... It's what every...
DAVID LANG People have to be more cautious about their borrowing levels. You should never borrow the maximum am...
SANDY BAUM Growing up is a process that never ends. It isn't a point you attain so you can say, Hooray, I'm gro...
MADELEINE L'ENGLE Saying that you don't care about the right to privacy because you have nothing to hide is no dif...
JEAN-MICHEL JARRE I think they probably should have done something about possibly helping find another area for a race...
MARK NORRIS Why is it that we want what we don't have, yet we can't see what we do have?
ANTHONY T. HINCKS They're not saying music should be free, they're saying companies should not be able to install some...
MARK RUSSINOVICH never organized anything more complicated than a car pool.
DONNA DEES-THOMASES What I hear you saying is that we should have gotten a fuel truck in the first place.
CLIFF MANLOVE Few things are exact. You either have more than you need or need more than you have.
VIKRANT PARSAI It's like driving a car at night. You never see further than your headlights, but you can make t...
E. L. DOCTOROW It breaks my heart that my father never knew my children. He should have been around for another 25 ...
BEAR GRYLLS When you're in your 20s, you're a little more carefree; you're single. You have a very d...
MELISSA DE SOUSA Getting rid of a man without hurting his masculinity is a problem. 'Get out' and 'I never want to se...
JOHN WAYNE You should never ask anyone for anything. Never- and especially from those who are more powerful tha...
MIKHAIL BULGAKOV Of course I adored and wanted to be Catwoman. That goes without saying.
BRUCE VILANCH You may have even an ex-wife or an ex-husband, but you can never have ex-children.
GEORGE FOREMAN You will never have more until you explore and be grateful for the more that exists in what you alre...
JACENT MARY MPALYENKANA I think we should have more than that.
ERICK DAMPIER Having children is a big responsibility and I don't want to make a mess out of it. I don't want my s...
BILLIE JOE ARMSTRONG You have doubtless heard, my dear mother, the misfortune of Madame de Chartres, whose child is born ...
MARIE ANTOINETTE It's a car cruise. You don't have to have an old antique car to get into this. If you have a 2005 pi...
JOE MCCARTHY Dealers should have no problem lending you the car to have it inspected. If a private owner is reluc...
BOBBY HAMILTON If you win without sacrifice you enjoy it but it's more satisfying when you have struggled.
ANDRES INIESTA
More Erma Bombeck
A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween.
ERMA BOMBECK I never leaf through a copy of National Geographic without realizing how lucky we are to live in a s...
ERMA BOMBECK If you can't make it better, you can laugh at it.
ERMA BOMBECK When your mother asks, 'Do you want a piece of advice?' it is a mere formality. It doesn'...
ERMA BOMBECK Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.
ERMA BOMBECK Somewhere it is written that parents who are critical of other people's children and publicly ad...
ERMA BOMBECK Children make your life important.
ERMA BOMBECK I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a sign in each of their rooms: 'Checkout...
ERMA BOMBECK My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrige...
ERMA BOMBECK In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.
ERMA BOMBECK When God Created Mothers"
When the Good Lord was creating mothers, He was into His sixth ...
ERMA BOMBECK When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of ta...
ERMA BOMBECK Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the 'Titanic' who waved off the dessert cart.
ERMA BOMBECK There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.
ERMA BOMBECK But doctor, where is the umbilical cord? New technology, it's wireless.
ERMA BOMBECK When inspiration does not come to me, I go halfway to meet it.
ERMA BOMBECK Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do 'practice' ?
ERMA BOMBECK You already know something you don't even know that you know.
ERMA BOMBECK Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popula...
ERMA BOMBECK God heals, and the doctor takes the fees.
ERMA BOMBECK I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.
ERMA BOMBECK How does a doctor feel when he loses a patient in the emergency room? The same way a child feels wh...
ERMA BOMBECK I finally found a doctor with a lot of patients, and he didn't have any patience to listen to me.
ERMA BOMBECK What did my doctor tell me when I rushed into his office and told him I have 40 seconds to live? Hol...
ERMA BOMBECK Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.
ERMA BOMBECK It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.
ERMA BOMBECK There is nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
ERMA BOMBECK Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.
ERMA BOMBECK Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times...
ERMA BOMBECK What we're really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when...
ERMA BOMBECK When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of ta...
ERMA BOMBECK I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a sign in each of their rooms: Checkout Time...
ERMA BOMBECK I'm trying very hard to understand this generation. They have adjusted the timetable for childbearin...
ERMA BOMBECK My type of humor is almost pure identification. A housewife reads my column and says, 'But that's ha...
ERMA BOMBECK We've got a generation now who were born with semi equality. They don't know how it was before, so t...
ERMA BOMBECK Humor is a spontaneous, wonderful bit of an outburst that just comes. It's unbridled, its unplanned,...
ERMA BOMBECK If God had meant us to walk around naked, he would never have invented the wicker chair.
ERMA BOMBECK Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
ERMA BOMBECK My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed un...
ERMA BOMBECK Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counter productivity...
ERMA BOMBECK My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch on fire or block the refrigera...
ERMA BOMBECK Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.
ERMA BOMBECK When God was creating fathers, He started with a tall frame. An angel nearby said, What kind of fath...
ERMA BOMBECK You hear a lot of dialogue on the death of the American family. Families aren't dying. They're mergi...
ERMA BOMBECK Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It's...
ERMA BOMBECK Never accept a drink from a Urologist.
ERMA BOMBECK I am not a glutton -- I am an explorer of food.
ERMA BOMBECK It seemed rather incongruous that in a society of supersophisticated communication, we often suffer ...
ERMA BOMBECK Humorists can never start to take themselves seriously. It's literary suicide.
ERMA BOMBECK It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else. -Erma Bombeck.
ERMA BOMBECK Anybody who watches three games of football in a row should be declared brain dead.
ERMA BOMBECK It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding...
ERMA BOMBECK Skiing: I do not participate in any sport with ambulances at the bottom of the hill
ERMA BOMBECK I am not a glutton - I am an explorer of food
ERMA BOMBECK Graduation day is tough for adults. They go to the ceremony as parents. They come home as contempora...
ERMA BOMBECK No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed. I have known mothers who remake the bed after their...
ERMA BOMBECK It seemed rather incongruous that in a society of supersophisticated communication, we often suffe...
ERMA BOMBECK It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.
ERMA BOMBECK By the age of six the average child will have completed the basic American education.... From televi...
ERMA BOMBECK My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance
ERMA BOMBECK I will buy any creme, cosmetic, or elixir from a woman with a European accent.
ERMA BOMBECK Vacation is what you take when you can't take what you've been taking any longer.
ERMA BOMBECK When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of ta...
ERMA BOMBECK Remember, people will judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold ...
ERMA BOMBECK Great dreams... never even get out of the box. It takes an uncommon amount of guts to put your dream...
ERMA BOMBECK One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of ...
ERMA BOMBECK I haven't trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I...
ERMA BOMBECK For years my wedding ring has done its job. It has led me not into temptation. It has reminded my hu...
ERMA BOMBECK Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It...
ERMA BOMBECK The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
ERMA BOMBECK Never have more children than you have car windows.
ERMA BOMBECK Someone once threw me a small, brown, hairy kiwi fruit, and I threw a wastebasket over it until it w...
ERMA BOMBECK Thanks to my mother, not a single cardboard box has found its way back into society. We receive gift...
ERMA BOMBECK Once you get a spice in your home, you have it forever. Women never throw out spices. The Egyptians ...
ERMA BOMBECK Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you...
ERMA BOMBECK When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of ta...
ERMA BOMBECK Dreams have only one owner at a time. That's why dreamers are lonely.
ERMA BOMBECK Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?
ERMA BOMBECK Why would anyone steal a shopping cart? It's like stealing a two-year-old.
ERMA BOMBECK I have a hat. It is graceful and feminine and give me a certain dignity, as if I were attending a st...
ERMA BOMBECK People shop for a bathing suit with more care than they do a husband or wife. The rules are the same...
ERMA BOMBECK On vacations: We hit the sunny beaches where we occupy ourselves keeping the sun off our skin, the s...
ERMA BOMBECK Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.
ERMA BOMBECK Youngsters of the age of two and three are endowed with extraordinary strength. They can lift a dog ...
ERMA BOMBECK My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are u...
ERMA BOMBECK When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he's doing nothing but the...
ERMA BOMBECK I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.
ERMA BOMBECK Do you know what you call those who use towels and never wash them, eat meals and never do the dishe...
ERMA BOMBECK Sometimes I can't figure designers out. It's as if they flunked human anatomy.
ERMA BOMBECK In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced in television.
ERMA BOMBECK Before you try to keep up with the Joneses, be sure they're not trying to keep up with you.
ERMA BOMBECK A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend-and he's a priest.
ERMA BOMBECK A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.
ERMA BOMBECK Just think of all those women on the Titanic who said, No, thank you, to dessert that night. And for...
ERMA BOMBECK Next to hot chicken soup, a tattoo of an anchor on your chest, and penicillin, I consider a honeymoo...
ERMA BOMBECK All of us have moments in out lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white...
ERMA BOMBECK Once you get a spice in your home, you have it forever. Women never throw out spices. The Egyptians ...
ERMA BOMBECK When humor goes, there goes civilization.
ERMA BOMBECK There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
ERMA BOMBECK Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments.
ERMA BOMBECK It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows
ERMA BOMBECK I was leafing through a magazine where there was a before-and-after picture of a woman who went from...
ERMA BOMBECK For some of us, watching a miniseries that lasts longer than most marriages is not easy.
ERMA BOMBECK God created man, but I could do better.
ERMA BOMBECK House guests should be regarded as perishables: Leave them out too long and they go bad.
ERMA BOMBECK If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.
ERMA BOMBECK I was terrible at straight items. When I wrote obituaries, my mother said the only thing I ever got ...
ERMA BOMBECK As a graduate of the Zsa Zsa Gabor School of Creative mathematics, I honestly do not know how old I ...
ERMA BOMBECK In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.
ERMA BOMBECK I have a theory about the human mind. A brain is a lot like a computer. It will only take so many fa...
ERMA BOMBECK A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween.
ERMA BOMBECK Just think of all those women on the Titanic who said, 'No thank you' to desert that night. And for ...
ERMA BOMBECK Humorists can never start to take themselves seriously. It's literary suicide.
ERMA BOMBECK When your mother asks, "Do you want a piece of advice?" it's a mere formality. It doesn't matter if ...
ERMA BOMBECK I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.
ERMA BOMBECK If I had my life to live over...
Someone asked me the other day if I had my life t...
ERMA BOMBECK There's something wrong with a mother who washes out a measuring cup with soap and water after s...
ERMA BOMBECK When your mother asks, "Do you want a piece of advice?" it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if...
ERMA BOMBECK I worry about scientists discovering that lettuce has been fattening all along. . . .
ERMA BOMBECK Dreams have but one owner at a time. That is why dreamers are lonely.
ERMA BOMBECK Good kids are like sunsets. We take them for granted. Every evening they disappear. Most parents nev...
ERMA BOMBECK When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out.
ERMA BOMBECK You have to love a nation that celebrates its independence every July 4, not with a parade of guns, ...
ERMA BOMBECK Sometimes I can't figure designers out. It's as if they flunked human anatomy.
ERMA BOMBECK I was too old for a paper route, too young for Social Security and too tired for an affair.
ERMA BOMBECK I haven't trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I've nev...
ERMA BOMBECK The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with ONLY a loaf of bread are thre...
ERMA BOMBECK In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced on television.
ERMA BOMBECK Who in their infinite wisdom decreed that Little League uniforms be white? Certainly not a mother.
ERMA BOMBECK Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.
ERMA BOMBECK If you can't make it better, you can laugh at it.
ERMA BOMBECK When you're an orthodox worrier, some days are worse than others
ERMA BOMBECK When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he's doing nothing but the dog...
ERMA BOMBECK Why would anyone steal a shopping cart? It's like stealing a two-year-old.
ERMA BOMBECK A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
ERMA BOMBECK I've been on a constant diet for the last two decades. I've lost a total of 789 pounds. BY all accou...
ERMA BOMBECK Just think of all those women on the Titanic who said, "No, thank you," to dessert that night. And f...
ERMA BOMBECK Never order food in excess of your body weight.
ERMA BOMBECK The bad times I can handle. It's the good times that drive me crazy. When is the other shoe going to...
ERMA BOMBECK No self-respecting mother would run out of intimidations on the eve of a major holiday.
ERMA BOMBECK It is fast approaching the point where I don't want to elect anyone stupid enough to want the job.
ERMA BOMBECK As a child, my number one best friend was the librarian in my grade school. I actually believed all ...
ERMA BOMBECK Phrases and their actual meanings: "My teacher has never liked me." Expect a phone call before lunch...
ERMA BOMBECK I'm going to stop punishing my children by saying, "Never mind! I'll do it myself."
ERMA BOMBECK You become about as exciting as your food blender. The kids come in, look you in the eye, and ask if...
ERMA BOMBECK Have you any idea how many kids it takes to turn off one light in the kitchen? Three. It takes one t...
ERMA BOMBECK Getting out of the hospital is a lot like resigning from a book club. You're not out of it until the...
ERMA BOMBECK Some say our national pastime is baseball. Not me. It's gossip.
ERMA BOMBECK Some say our national pastime is baseball. Not me. It's gossip.
ERMA BOMBECK I don't know why no one ever thought to paste a label on the toilet-tissue spindle giving 1-2-3 dire...
ERMA BOMBECK Cleanliness is not next to godliness. It isn't even in the same neighborhood. No one has ever gotten...
ERMA BOMBECK Housework can kill you if done right.
ERMA BOMBECK I was going to have inner peace if I had to break a few heads to do it.
ERMA BOMBECK My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerato...
ERMA BOMBECK Do you know what you call those who use towels and never wash them, eat meals and never do the dishe...
ERMA BOMBECK It is ludicrous to read the microwave direction on the boxes of food you buy, as each one will have ...
ERMA BOMBECK The grass is always greener over the septic tank.
ERMA BOMBECK Housework, if you do it right, will kill you.
ERMA BOMBECK A child develops individuality long before he develops taste. I have seen my kid straggle into the k...
ERMA BOMBECK A child develops individuality long before he discovers taste
ERMA BOMBECK Housework can kill you if done right
ERMA BOMBECK People shop for a bathing suit with more care than they do a husband or wife. The rules are the same...
ERMA BOMBECK I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a sign in each of their rooms: ''Checkout Ti...
ERMA BOMBECK What's with you men? Would hair stop growing on your chest if you asked directions somewhere?
ERMA BOMBECK The age of your children is a key factor in how quickly you are served in a restaurant. We once had ...
ERMA BOMBECK If life is a bowl of cherries, then what am I doing in the pits?
ERMA BOMBECK There's something wrong with a mother who washes out a measuring cup with soap and water after she's...
ERMA BOMBECK Most women put off entertaining until the kids are grown.
ERMA BOMBECK The art of never making a mistake is crucial to motherhood. To be effective and to gain the respect ...
ERMA BOMBECK Everyone is guilty at one time or another of throwing out questions that beg to be ignored, but moth...
ERMA BOMBECK I've never vied for power in the family before. Pointing a box at the garage door and saying "Open!"...
ERMA BOMBECK Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work...
ERMA BOMBECK Humor is a spontaneous, wonderful bit of an outburst that just comes. It's unbridled, it's unplanned...
ERMA BOMBECK At some point in your life if you're lucky you throw practicality to the wind and
start living.
ERMA BOMBECK There are people who put their dreams in a little box and say, "Yes, I've got dreams, of course I've...
ERMA BOMBECK Making coffee has become the great compromise of the decade. It's the only thing "real" men do that ...
ERMA BOMBECK For years [my wedding ring] has done its job. It has led me not into temptation. It has reminded my ...
ERMA BOMBECK Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time.
ERMA BOMBECK Girls mature faster than boys, cost more to raise, and statistics show that the old saw about girls ...
ERMA BOMBECK If Life is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits?
ERMA BOMBECK Getting out of the hospital is a lot like resigning from a book club. You're not out of it until...
ERMA BOMBECK There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
ERMA BOMBECK One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of ...
ERMA BOMBECK Before you try to keep up with the Joneses, be sure they're not trying to keep up with you.
ERMA BOMBECK There is one thing I have never taught my body how to do and that is to figure out at 6 A.M. what it...
ERMA BOMBECK I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.
ERMA BOMBECK A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
ERMA BOMBECK How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?
ERMA BOMBECK What's with you men? Would hair stop growing on your chest if you asked directions somewhere?
ERMA BOMBECK Never let anyone treat you like regular glue. You're glitter glue.
ERMA BOMBECK As a child, my number one best friend was the librarian in my grade school. I actually believed all...
ERMA BOMBECK You couldn't get me on Mars if it were the last place on earth.
ERMA COHEN Companions were not allowed to lie. I don’t know why. I had tried a few times when I was young to ...
ERMA I TALAMANTE