Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time.

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.

I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.

Never have more children than you have car windows.

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.