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Anybody who watches three games of football in a row should be declared brain dead.


Erma Bombeck

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If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.
ERMA BOMBECK It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else. -Erma Bombeck.
ERMA BOMBECK We hit a bad stretch there of about three games where we struggled. Now we're getting back to where ...
JEFF ZICKAFOOSE We've played three good games in a row. We're scoring and playing good defense.
LEA HERNDON That's about three games in a row now that we've been scoring with two outs.
GARY MINER There aren't too many games on Tuesday. Anybody that likes football will be watching us play.
BERNARD DAVIS An atheist is a guy who watches a Nôtre Dame - SMU football game and doesn't care who wins
DWIGHT DAVID EISENHOWER I've seen Mike in a lot of basketball games and I have never seen him miss three in a row from the l...
DUSTIN WERDT Our defense has let us down three games in a row. We don't shoot well enough to play catch-up.
JAKE GOLDY All playwrights should be dead for three hundred years.
JOSEPH L. MANKIEWICZ The fly that should be dead and the dog that should be dead in the house that should be dead, and th...
NANCY HOLDER Pittsburgh deserved to win; they played better than we did. To do what they've done three weeks in a...
MIKE SHANAHAN That makes two games in a row that (we have allowed) teams to score three runs with two outs. It's a...
WAYNE HOLLEMAN Bob said in the beginning of the week we have three games in a row. The only way to keep this thing ...
TONY MEOLA I declared that the dead, who had already died, Are happier than the living, who are still alive
BIBLE Why should anybody be interested in some old man who was a failure?
ERNEST HEMINGWAY The first season didn't go the way we wanted it to. [Now] we have three in a row, [and] we've got 27...
KYLE KORVER He's pitched three days in a row so he won't be in there.
JOHN GIBBONS He should be 6-0; he's given up three earned runs in three games. That's tough, in high school, to s...
JEFF FLOWERS We have some guys who understand what it takes. We've played in some tough games as a basketball tea...
COREY GADSON Again, we gave up a run in the first inning. That's three games in a row we gave up a run in the fir...
CURT SMITH If you play high school football in the city, this is the game you want to play. We're looking forwa...
CHRIS JONES If the IOC finds them guilty of a doping violation they would be declared ineligible for the Games.
GISELLE DAVIES He has pitched three days in a row and won't be available tonight.
JOHN GIBBONS It means a lot to win six games in a row. We can compete with the best teams in the league. I think ...
JASON CHIMERA We won three in a row, we lost three in a row and we can very easily win three in a row again. What ...
ROD BARNES I don't like the idea of playing five conference games in a row.
JAY JACOBS With declines three days in a row, you know it must be earnings season,
ART HOGAN I'd like to make it four in a row and then we have three tough games we have to mentally be ready fo...
DAVE IRWIN I don't think anybody should write his autobiography until after he's dead.
SAMUEL GOLDWYN I give their guy credit. If you can't hit, you don't deserve to be here. I've got a bunch of seniors...
CHRIS HOUSTON I think we could play against anybody who has ever played in college football,
DON JAMES It gets heated, but I usually wax him. He likes to say he wins because one day he won three in a row...
WAYNE ELLINGTON We've won three games in a row with Cocke County up Monday and we've got a little momentum, which is...
MIKE WRIGHT Two games in a row, he's played really strong. That's important.
GARY MCCULLOCH We never had anybody who froze to death playing football. You probably had somebody who died from he...
BUD GRANT I just want silence... nothing less... nothing more.
DEYTH BANGER Over the last three years just playing college football, you learn how to manage games better,
CHRIS LEAK I still have confidence in this team but they have to have confidence in themselves. Everybody has t...
JEFF GUIOT A flag goes up after three days in a row.
JOE TORRE It's a deal that started out 24 years ago with three or four of us that were tired of sitting around...
JEFF ARNOLD Anybody who watches the show, no matter what their culture, will hopefully have a desire to learn ab...
JANIELLE CHRISTENSEN I think we've had three years in a row of above-average rainfalls.
BRIAN DUPLESSIS Anybody who asks for democracy to be introduced should respect the results of democracy.
ISMAIL HANIYEH I'm almost tired of the emotions after games like this. That's three weeks in a row; I'm ready for a...
CLINTON PORTIS If he's not the best freshman in the conference, I want to know who is. He's been solid now for six ...
CHARLES RAMSEY I’m going to kill myself. I should go to Paris and jump off the Eiffel Tower. I’ll be dead. you ...
WOODY ALLEN Voter apathy is a civic abdication.
CHARLES M. BLOW I'd like to wrap it up with three in a row and be national champions next year.
O.J. MAYO I'm motivated and focused to make it three titles in a row, but it won't be easy.
CARLOS MOYA Shayne is trying to decide where he's going to play college football, and rather than have him miss ...
JAY GROTH Hartford is a good team, no lead is safe. But we held our composure. We were pretty focused. We had ...
JASON CASSARINO Anybody who knows football knows that everything starts up front on both sides of the ball,
JARED ALLEN To participate in a World Cup is a great honour and achievement. I've played in three World Cups...
VIRENDER SEHWAG A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween.
ERMA BOMBECK I never leaf through a copy of National Geographic without realizing how lucky we are to live in a s...
ERMA BOMBECK If you can't make it better, you can laugh at it.
ERMA BOMBECK When your mother asks, 'Do you want a piece of advice?' it is a mere formality. It doesn'...
ERMA BOMBECK Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.
ERMA BOMBECK Somewhere it is written that parents who are critical of other people's children and publicly ad...
ERMA BOMBECK Children make your life important.
ERMA BOMBECK I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a sign in each of their rooms: 'Checkout...
ERMA BOMBECK My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrige...
ERMA BOMBECK In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.
ERMA BOMBECK When God Created Mothers"

When the Good Lord was creating mothers, He was into His sixth ...
ERMA BOMBECK When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of ta...
ERMA BOMBECK Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the 'Titanic' who waved off the dessert cart.
ERMA BOMBECK There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.
ERMA BOMBECK But doctor, where is the umbilical cord? New technology, it's wireless.
ERMA BOMBECK When inspiration does not come to me, I go halfway to meet it.
ERMA BOMBECK Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do 'practice' ?
ERMA BOMBECK You already know something you don't even know that you know.
ERMA BOMBECK Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popula...
ERMA BOMBECK God heals, and the doctor takes the fees.
ERMA BOMBECK I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.
ERMA BOMBECK How does a doctor feel when he loses a patient in the emergency room? The same way a child feels wh...
ERMA BOMBECK I finally found a doctor with a lot of patients, and he didn't have any patience to listen to me.
ERMA BOMBECK What did my doctor tell me when I rushed into his office and told him I have 40 seconds to live? Hol...
ERMA BOMBECK Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.
ERMA BOMBECK It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.
ERMA BOMBECK It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows.
ERMA BOMBECK There is nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
ERMA BOMBECK Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.
ERMA BOMBECK Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times...
ERMA BOMBECK What we're really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when...
ERMA BOMBECK When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of ta...
ERMA BOMBECK I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a sign in each of their rooms: Checkout Time...
ERMA BOMBECK I'm trying very hard to understand this generation. They have adjusted the timetable for childbearin...
ERMA BOMBECK My type of humor is almost pure identification. A housewife reads my column and says, 'But that's ha...
ERMA BOMBECK We've got a generation now who were born with semi equality. They don't know how it was before, so t...
ERMA BOMBECK Humor is a spontaneous, wonderful bit of an outburst that just comes. It's unbridled, its unplanned,...
ERMA BOMBECK If God had meant us to walk around naked, he would never have invented the wicker chair.
ERMA BOMBECK Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
ERMA BOMBECK My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed un...
ERMA BOMBECK Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counter productivity...
ERMA BOMBECK My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch on fire or block the refrigera...
ERMA BOMBECK Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.
ERMA BOMBECK When God was creating fathers, He started with a tall frame. An angel nearby said, What kind of fath...
ERMA BOMBECK You hear a lot of dialogue on the death of the American family. Families aren't dying. They're mergi...
ERMA BOMBECK Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It's...
ERMA BOMBECK

More Erma Bombeck

A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween.
ERMA BOMBECK I never leaf through a copy of National Geographic without realizing how lucky we are to live in a s...
ERMA BOMBECK If you can't make it better, you can laugh at it.
ERMA BOMBECK When your mother asks, 'Do you want a piece of advice?' it is a mere formality. It doesn'...
ERMA BOMBECK Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.
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ERMA BOMBECK I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a sign in each of their rooms: 'Checkout...
ERMA BOMBECK My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrige...
ERMA BOMBECK In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.
ERMA BOMBECK When God Created Mothers"

When the Good Lord was creating mothers, He was into His sixth ...
ERMA BOMBECK When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of ta...
ERMA BOMBECK Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the 'Titanic' who waved off the dessert cart.
ERMA BOMBECK There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.
ERMA BOMBECK But doctor, where is the umbilical cord? New technology, it's wireless.
ERMA BOMBECK When inspiration does not come to me, I go halfway to meet it.
ERMA BOMBECK Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do 'practice' ?
ERMA BOMBECK You already know something you don't even know that you know.
ERMA BOMBECK Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popula...
ERMA BOMBECK God heals, and the doctor takes the fees.
ERMA BOMBECK I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.
ERMA BOMBECK How does a doctor feel when he loses a patient in the emergency room? The same way a child feels wh...
ERMA BOMBECK I finally found a doctor with a lot of patients, and he didn't have any patience to listen to me.
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ERMA BOMBECK It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.
ERMA BOMBECK It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows.
ERMA BOMBECK There is nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
ERMA BOMBECK Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.
ERMA BOMBECK Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times...
ERMA BOMBECK What we're really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when...
ERMA BOMBECK When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of ta...
ERMA BOMBECK I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a sign in each of their rooms: Checkout Time...
ERMA BOMBECK I'm trying very hard to understand this generation. They have adjusted the timetable for childbearin...
ERMA BOMBECK My type of humor is almost pure identification. A housewife reads my column and says, 'But that's ha...
ERMA BOMBECK We've got a generation now who were born with semi equality. They don't know how it was before, so t...
ERMA BOMBECK Humor is a spontaneous, wonderful bit of an outburst that just comes. It's unbridled, its unplanned,...
ERMA BOMBECK If God had meant us to walk around naked, he would never have invented the wicker chair.
ERMA BOMBECK Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
ERMA BOMBECK My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed un...
ERMA BOMBECK Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counter productivity...
ERMA BOMBECK My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch on fire or block the refrigera...
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ERMA BOMBECK When God was creating fathers, He started with a tall frame. An angel nearby said, What kind of fath...
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Someone asked me the other day if I had my life t...
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ERMA BOMBECK For years [my wedding ring] has done its job. It has led me not into temptation. It has reminded my ...
ERMA BOMBECK Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time.
ERMA BOMBECK Girls mature faster than boys, cost more to raise, and statistics show that the old saw about girls ...
ERMA BOMBECK If Life is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits?
ERMA BOMBECK Getting out of the hospital is a lot like resigning from a book club. You're not out of it until...
ERMA BOMBECK There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
ERMA BOMBECK One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of ...
ERMA BOMBECK Before you try to keep up with the Joneses, be sure they're not trying to keep up with you.
ERMA BOMBECK There is one thing I have never taught my body how to do and that is to figure out at 6 A.M. what it...
ERMA BOMBECK I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.
ERMA BOMBECK A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
ERMA BOMBECK How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?
ERMA BOMBECK What's with you men? Would hair stop growing on your chest if you asked directions somewhere?
ERMA BOMBECK Never let anyone treat you like regular glue. You're glitter glue.
ERMA BOMBECK As a child, my number one best friend was the librarian in my grade school. I actually believed all...
ERMA BOMBECK You couldn't get me on Mars if it were the last place on earth.
ERMA COHEN Companions were not allowed to lie. I don’t know why. I had tried a few times when I was young to ...
ERMA I TALAMANTE