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Humor is a spontaneous, wonderful bit of an outburst that just comes. It's unbridled, it's unplanned, it's full of surprises.


Erma Bombeck

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Humor is a spontaneous, wonderful bit of an outburst that just comes. It's unbridled, its unplanned,...
ERMA BOMBECK It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else. -Erma Bombeck.
ERMA BOMBECK Morning is wonderful. Its only drawback is that it comes at such an inconvenient time of day.
GLEN COOK Love, as wonderful and horrible as it is, has at its center a kind of pitiful humor.
TIM O'BRIEN I like how you don't hide your problems like everyone else, and I don't have to hide mine when I'm a...
NED VIZZINI Humor is merely tragedy standing on its head with its pants torn.
IRVIN S. COBB The hall-mark of American humor is its pose of illiteracy.
RONALD KNOX Good humor is the health of the soul, sadness its poison
LORD CHESTERFIELD Life's best part is it never misses to surprise us
NARESH JELLA Quotations, like much better things, has its abuses
ISAAC DISRAELI discourage its use.
CISCO SYSTEMS Starwars is a phenomenon that deserves respect to come from a New Hope to the Last Jedi is such an a...
GARY F EVANS... It isn't where you came from, its where you're going that counts.
ELLA FITZGERALD FEMA has lost its way.
JOHN DINGELL Every dogma must have its day
CAROLYN WELLS Do whatever you like because life is short
SUJANā The remarkable thing is that it is the crowded life that is most easily remembered. A life full of t...
ERIC HOFFER The country of Britain is wonderful because of its royalty.
YAYOI KUSAMA Nature is full of genius, full of the divinity; so that not a snowflake escapes its fashioning hand.
HENRY DAVID THOREAU Life always has some surprises up its sleeve!
AVIJEET DAS Just look at my face. Its an extraordinary experience. All of my friends who are grandparents have b...
BLYTHE DANNER Poetry is the spontaneous overflow of powerful feelings: it takes its origin from emotion recollecte...
WILLIAM WORDSWORTH Poetry is the spontaneous overflow of powerful feelings: it takes its origin from emotion recollect...
WILLIAM WORDSWORTH Poetry is the spontaneous overflow of powerful feelings: it takes its origin from emotion recollecte...
WILLIAM WORDSWORTH One mind can think only of its own questions; it rarely surprises itself.
ORSON SCOTT CARD Every nation needs a crystal clear mirror to see its stupidities, to see its hypocrisies, to see its...
MEHMET MURAT ILDAN The Tommy brand has lost a bit of its luster.
WENDY LIEBMANN Nigeria, for all its difficulties, offers quite a bit.
ANTONY GOLDMAN The world is full of poetry. The air is living with its spirit; and the waves dance to the music of ...
JAMES GATES PERCIVAL A riot is a spontaneous outburst. A war is subject to advance planning.
RICHARD MILHOUS NIXON A riot is a spontaneous outburst. A war is subject to advance planning.
RICHARD M. NIXON When primitive law has once been embodied in a Code, there is an end to what may be called its spont...
HENRY JAMES SUMNER MAINE An act of love that fails is just as much a part of the divine life as an act of love that succeeds,...
HAROLD LOUKES Even as a coin attains its full value when it is spent, so life attains its supreme value when one k...
FELIX MARTI-IBANEZ Neil Young is the embodiment of rock and roll in all of its howling, exuberant, spontaneous, pissed-...
CATHY NORDEN It's got quite a bit of damage around its head area and is flexing in an unnatural manner.
MARK STEVENS Humor is almost always anger with its make-up on.
STEPHEN KING He admits setting a chair on fire but denies using flammable liquid. It was an unplanned, spontaneou...
GORAN BERGENDAHL Humor the sons of the poor, for they give science its splendor.
THE TALMUD What a newspaper needs in its news, in its headlines, and on its editorial page is terseness, humor,...
JOSEPH PULITZER Football is such an extraordinary game and so full of surprises, you just never know.
SIR ALEX FERGUSON I enjoy finding the right word and giving each its full measure, its full space in a sentence.
MIRIAM MARGOLYES am just a young Individual with a wonderful mind ready to share its wonders
TREVADO HIBBERT In a democracy dissent is an act of faith. Like medicine, the test of its value is not in its taste...
J. WILLIAM FULBRIGHT In a democracy dissent is an act of faith. Like medicine, the test of its value is not in its taste...
J. W. FULBRIGHT In a democracy dissent is an act of faith. Like medicine, the test of its value is not in its taste,...
J. WILLIAM FULBRIGHT Time is always moving and as it moves day night, night day the motion of time is clear, to many peop...
GARY F EVANS... To have the comfort of sharing and laughing with genuine people who actually care is like taking a n...
GARY F EVANS... It just reeks around here and sometimes its unbearable.
RITA FAUGHN Every flow has its ebb.
FRENCH PROVERB shrugged its shoulder and said, 'We don't know.'
DAVID LANE While some of the retailers have been under a lot of pressure, Kohl has really held its own, because...
BERNADETTE MURPHY That's what the playoffs are all about. Lyndon was much better than its record and U-32 is a very go...
SETH RICE Microsoft is really going back to its roots here.
CHARLES DI BONA It was blowing its horn.
JOE MORENO because of its unreliability, incompleteness and inaccuracy.
LEONIE BRINKEMA The events that happen in our lives make us who we are ,we can either give in to them and let them w...
GARY F EVANS... Every advantage has its disadvantage
PROVERB This is a way to get the museum back on its feet.
MARK SPITZ Its stated policy,
RICHARD CHENEY It's unrelenting in its activity.
RODNEY WYNKOOP Its been here for so long. It's sad to have to see it demolished.
TOM WATKINS Every rose has its thorn
PROVERB Every path has its puddle
PROVERB put Cambodia back on its feet.
SAM RAINSY Malice drinketh its own poison
PROVERB Looking for the ass on its very back.
CHINESE PROVERBS And yet Its still moves
GALILEO GALILEI Alright Brain...Its all up to you.
DAN CASTELLANETA Motorola is big and bold enough to do things on its own.
NEIL STROTHER It's very quick, its very efficient.
GARY STONE We want it to be the institution that it was in its heyday.
PAUL NUNNALLY It's a huge concession on the part of Lowe's to downsize, ... For Lowe's to downsize from its protot...
MIKE MCLEOD That rolls to its appointed end.
WILLIAM CULLEN BRYANT Marching thus at night, a battalion is doubly impressive. The silent monster is full of restrained p...
PATRICK MACGILL The Pleasure of a dream is that its a fantasy If its happens its never a DREAM
SARTHAK SINGH Revolution is a phase, a mood, like spring, and just as spring has its buds and showers, so revoluti...
REBECCA SOLNIT The world's flattery and hypocrisy is a sweet morsel:
eat less of it, for it is full of fire. JALALUDDIN MEVLANA RUMI Such happiness as life is capable of comes from the full participation of all our powers in the ende...
JOHN DEWEY A business is like an automobile. Its people its wheels, their passion its fuel.
AJEET SHARMA A cube or sphere has the characteristics of its form or shape, that is why one calls it a sphere or ...
LEVIAK B. KELLY For the duration of its collective life, or the time during which its identity may be assumed, each ...
JOSEPH SCHUMPETER For the duration of its collective life, or the time during which its identity may be assumed, each ...
JOSEPH A. SCHUMPETER For me, a paragraph in a novel is a bit like a line in a poem. It has its own shape, its own music, ...
PAUL AUSTER Just because it lays golden eggs doesn't mean you should value everything that comes out of its ass.
CHRISTIAN DEL ROSARIO Human breast milk is really an incredible therapy. Let's try to develop processes where we can prese...
ELENA MEDO It's a wonderful feeling to work in a country where the government's first concern is for its people...
BEN LINDER Being normal in today's society feels as if one is stripping you of your clothes; its a horrible fee...
DANIEL MATHEWS A hare is like an ass in the length of its ears, yet it is not its son
PROVERB Confidence imparts a wonderful inspiration to its possessor
JOHN MILTON The first thing that an architect must do is to sense that every building you build is a world of it...
LOUIS KAHN Strange as it may seem, the power of mathematics rests on its evasion of all unnecessary thought, an...
ERNST MACH Pittsburgh has just a great sense of tradition in finding its heroes and holding on to its heroes, w...
GREG JOSEPH A nation that is afraid to let its people judge the truth and falsehood in an open market is a natio...
JOHN F. KENNEDY An aristocratic culture does not advertise its emotions. In its forms of expression it is sober and ...
JOHAN HUIZINGA "Intellectualism" is the belief that our mind comes upon a world complete in itself, and has the dut...
WILLIAM JAMES Humor is the one great counter to trouble, as well as its child.
AARON SANTOS It was a wonderful, vibrant place, and its loss was a big blow to the community. It was very much an...
JAY BOWES Discovery Zone is a little bit like a movie theater that doesn't have a change of films very often. ...
GEORGE ROSENBAUM Strange as it may seem, the power of mathematics rests on its evasion of all
unnecessary though...
ERNST MACH

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A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween.
ERMA BOMBECK I never leaf through a copy of National Geographic without realizing how lucky we are to live in a s...
ERMA BOMBECK If you can't make it better, you can laugh at it.
ERMA BOMBECK When your mother asks, 'Do you want a piece of advice?' it is a mere formality. It doesn'...
ERMA BOMBECK Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.
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ERMA BOMBECK In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.
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When the Good Lord was creating mothers, He was into His sixth ...
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ERMA BOMBECK When inspiration does not come to me, I go halfway to meet it.
ERMA BOMBECK Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do 'practice' ?
ERMA BOMBECK You already know something you don't even know that you know.
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ERMA BOMBECK God heals, and the doctor takes the fees.
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ERMA BOMBECK It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows.
ERMA BOMBECK There is nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
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ERMA BOMBECK Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times...
ERMA BOMBECK What we're really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when...
ERMA BOMBECK When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of ta...
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ERMA BOMBECK My type of humor is almost pure identification. A housewife reads my column and says, 'But that's ha...
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ERMA BOMBECK Remember, people will judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold ...
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ERMA BOMBECK Thanks to my mother, not a single cardboard box has found its way back into society. We receive gift...
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ERMA BOMBECK Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you...
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ERMA BOMBECK Dreams have only one owner at a time. That's why dreamers are lonely.
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ERMA BOMBECK Do you know what you call those who use towels and never wash them, eat meals and never do the dishe...
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ERMA BOMBECK Before you try to keep up with the Joneses, be sure they're not trying to keep up with you.
ERMA BOMBECK A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend-and he's a priest.
ERMA BOMBECK A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.
ERMA BOMBECK Just think of all those women on the Titanic who said, No, thank you, to dessert that night. And for...
ERMA BOMBECK Next to hot chicken soup, a tattoo of an anchor on your chest, and penicillin, I consider a honeymoo...
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ERMA BOMBECK When humor goes, there goes civilization.
ERMA BOMBECK There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
ERMA BOMBECK Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments.
ERMA BOMBECK It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows
ERMA BOMBECK I was leafing through a magazine where there was a before-and-after picture of a woman who went from...
ERMA BOMBECK For some of us, watching a miniseries that lasts longer than most marriages is not easy.
ERMA BOMBECK God created man, but I could do better.
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ERMA BOMBECK A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween.
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ERMA BOMBECK If I had my life to live over...

Someone asked me the other day if I had my life t...
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ERMA BOMBECK You have to love a nation that celebrates its independence every July 4, not with a parade of guns, ...
ERMA BOMBECK Sometimes I can't figure designers out. It's as if they flunked human anatomy.
ERMA BOMBECK I was too old for a paper route, too young for Social Security and too tired for an affair.
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ERMA BOMBECK The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with ONLY a loaf of bread are thre...
ERMA BOMBECK In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced on television.
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ERMA BOMBECK Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.
ERMA BOMBECK If you can't make it better, you can laugh at it.
ERMA BOMBECK When you're an orthodox worrier, some days are worse than others
ERMA BOMBECK When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he's doing nothing but the dog...
ERMA BOMBECK Why would anyone steal a shopping cart? It's like stealing a two-year-old.
ERMA BOMBECK A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
ERMA BOMBECK I've been on a constant diet for the last two decades. I've lost a total of 789 pounds. BY all accou...
ERMA BOMBECK Just think of all those women on the Titanic who said, "No, thank you," to dessert that night. And f...
ERMA BOMBECK Never order food in excess of your body weight.
ERMA BOMBECK The bad times I can handle. It's the good times that drive me crazy. When is the other shoe going to...
ERMA BOMBECK No self-respecting mother would run out of intimidations on the eve of a major holiday.
ERMA BOMBECK It is fast approaching the point where I don't want to elect anyone stupid enough to want the job.
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ERMA BOMBECK Phrases and their actual meanings: "My teacher has never liked me." Expect a phone call before lunch...
ERMA BOMBECK I'm going to stop punishing my children by saying, "Never mind! I'll do it myself."
ERMA BOMBECK You become about as exciting as your food blender. The kids come in, look you in the eye, and ask if...
ERMA BOMBECK Have you any idea how many kids it takes to turn off one light in the kitchen? Three. It takes one t...
ERMA BOMBECK Getting out of the hospital is a lot like resigning from a book club. You're not out of it until the...
ERMA BOMBECK Some say our national pastime is baseball. Not me. It's gossip.
ERMA BOMBECK Some say our national pastime is baseball. Not me. It's gossip.
ERMA BOMBECK I don't know why no one ever thought to paste a label on the toilet-tissue spindle giving 1-2-3 dire...
ERMA BOMBECK Cleanliness is not next to godliness. It isn't even in the same neighborhood. No one has ever gotten...
ERMA BOMBECK Housework can kill you if done right.
ERMA BOMBECK I was going to have inner peace if I had to break a few heads to do it.
ERMA BOMBECK My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerato...
ERMA BOMBECK Do you know what you call those who use towels and never wash them, eat meals and never do the dishe...
ERMA BOMBECK It is ludicrous to read the microwave direction on the boxes of food you buy, as each one will have ...
ERMA BOMBECK The grass is always greener over the septic tank.
ERMA BOMBECK Housework, if you do it right, will kill you.
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ERMA BOMBECK A child develops individuality long before he discovers taste
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ERMA BOMBECK If life is a bowl of cherries, then what am I doing in the pits?
ERMA BOMBECK There's something wrong with a mother who washes out a measuring cup with soap and water after she's...
ERMA BOMBECK Most women put off entertaining until the kids are grown.
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ERMA BOMBECK Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time.
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ERMA BOMBECK If Life is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits?
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ERMA BOMBECK How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?
ERMA BOMBECK What's with you men? Would hair stop growing on your chest if you asked directions somewhere?
ERMA BOMBECK Never let anyone treat you like regular glue. You're glitter glue.
ERMA BOMBECK As a child, my number one best friend was the librarian in my grade school. I actually believed all...
ERMA BOMBECK You couldn't get me on Mars if it were the last place on earth.
ERMA COHEN Companions were not allowed to lie. I don’t know why. I had tried a few times when I was young to ...
ERMA I TALAMANTE