Chelsea Handler
Related ALLEN IVERSON PATRICK SüSKIND FRANZ KAFKA It was like you just told me my brother is an ax murderer. DANIEL YOVICH STEPHEN LEACOCK STEPHEN LEACOCK GRAHAM GREENE TAHEREH MAFI Worry is a murderer. You are only saved with happy thoughts. LILY CHATTERJEE MARISSA MEYER ARAVIND ADIGA ALLEN IVERSON VLADIMIR NABOKOV MOKOKOMA MOKHONOANA JEAN ROSTAND How could you hide from a murderer who lives under your skin? NICK CUTTER We believe the murderer was known to her. MANISH AGARWAL (He) is not a cold-blooded murderer, ladies and gentlemen, he reacted. There was no thought process. DION CUSTIS CHRISTOPHER HITCHENS TOBA BETA They kill them; you gave them the alcohol, that makes you a murderer as well. BOB SCHWARTZ You will see that the defendant is nothing but a cold, calculated, callous murderer, TOM O'CONNOR LAURELL K. HAMILTON JEAN ROSTAND JEAN ROSTAND We have old scores to settle with this murderer. ZEEV BOIM Do you think he's the murderer?"JULIAN FELLOWES JEAN ROSTAND You're just a crazy murderer who's confused himself with a god.... nothing more, nothing less. TSUGUMI OHBA ROBERT BURTON There is no peace when your child and sister has been taken from you at the hands of a brutal murder... HELEN POSLUNS The film ends with a homicide murderer [suicide bomber] sitting in the bus surrounded by [Israeli] s... YOSSI MENDELLEVICH RICHARD WRIGHT The typical mass murderer is extraordinarily ordinary. JAMES ALAN FOX MATSHONA DHLIWAYO Mr. MacLean is not a murderer. And he's been punished by his own injury. FRANK BECKER AGATHA CHRISTIE AGATHA CHRISTIE Don't let pride be your blessing's murderer. DEDRICK D. L. PITTER Just like a murderer jumps out of nowhere in an alley, love jumped out in front of us and struck us ... MIKHAIL BULGAKOV Go ahead," Leandro tempted, "I dare you." GEOFFREY KNIGHT Eugene Aram, though a thief, a liar, and a murderer, / Yet, being intellectual, was amongst the nobl... C. S. CALVERLEY She was always left feeling like a murderer. Because the messenger becomes the murderer. Until the f... ROSAMUNDE PILCHER PAULA POUNDSTONE PAULA POUNDSTONE RAINBOW ROWELL He's a disgusting individual and quadruple murderer and would do or say anything now. RANDALL JUIP The evidence knocked clean out of their hands. Nothing but suspicion left…and you can’t arrest a... FRANCIS ILES But let none of you suffer as a murderer, or as a thief, or as an evildoer, or as a busybody in othe... BIBLE Yes, if it came with a tag saying that Robert Blake is a murderer. ERIC DUBIN THOMAS HENRY HUXLEY Even in my most inflamed moment I never supported a racist mass murderer. BERNADINE DOHRN ROBERT A. HEINLEIN 'So you think *I'm* the murderer? What do I have to do to convince you that I'm not, be the next vic... PETER STONE If anybody says their facelift doesn't hurt, they're lying. It was like I'd spent the night with an ... SHARON OSBOURNE DARK JAR TIN ZOO The jury saw right through the defendant's lies, ... He told them what he is: a cold-blooded murdere... DAVID PASCOE AGATHA CHRISTIE EMILY BRONTë JOE ABERCROMBIE DANIEL CLOWES FRIEDRICH DURRENMATT Yeah, I had an idea to make a very scary movie, based on a kind of serial murderer that preys on tou... BRIAN DE PALMA PATRICIA BRIGGS Fairfax County cut a tainted and corrupt deal with my son's killer, This scum, this murderer, killed... STEVE TASH PAULA POUNDSTONE MARISSA MEYER MICHAEL ONDAATJE JESSE JACKSON People are like, ‘Oh, you can’t take humans out of the loop, I’m a human and I’m an awesome ... TIM CANNON MARISSA MEYER The revenger of blood himself shall slay the murderer: when he meeteth him, he shall slay him. BIBLE racism it's just a hideaway for ignorant people, they are just murderer for the freedom who beat the... EJUMP SCHIFFLER F. SCOTT FITZGERALD ROBERT A. HEINLEIN CASSANDRA CLARE ERIC SCHLOSSER We thought this case was pure intimidation; the only thing stopping us from getting the murderer bro... CATHERINE MCCARTNEY DIEGO MARADONA HO CHI MINH RACHEL CAINE J.K. ROWLING LINDA GRAY I think they felt, and I think many blacks would have felt the same way, that you were cheering that... ED GORDON If anybody says their facelift doesn't hurt, they're lying. It was like I'd spent the ni... SHARON OSBOURNE ARAVIND ADIGA First you say I am a murderer - an agent in league against you - and now I am a deluded heartsick gi... GORDON DAHLQUIST This was our O.J. Simpson case. Everybody questioned - was he a forger or not? Was he a murderer or ... BOB STOTT A man who kills on his own is a murderer. A man who kills at his government's request is a national ... RAMMAN KENOUN From the beginning, I was a strong supporter of the war in Iraq against Saddam Hussein. He was a dic... JOSEPH LIEBERMAN In order to get Marty out of jail we had to get something that no other person or no other attorney ... JAY SALPETER Fornication is the murderer of champions and of the people who have success, power, wisdom and anoin... PST ADELAJA SUNDAY I’m not standard; I’m deviant. But I’m not alone. I’m a complete freak of nature, and I emer... TARAH WHEELER ROBERT BROWNING Using the Oval office to cheat on your wife makes you a bad husband and an irresponsible leader. Usi... JULES CARLYSLE He changed the entire profession of forgery. He's still the best. I don't like to use the word great... GEORGE THROCKMORTON LOUIS THEROUX It is illogical for the victim to be pressed to recognize its murderer and occupier. What is require... KHALED MESHAAL HILARY MANTEL He is the youngest murderer in Michigan. Prosecutors are watching this case. The public is watching ... DEBORAH CARLEY
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DANIEL HANDLER I like to give people novels I think they would like, on no particular occasion - just when we'r... DANIEL HANDLER Blank paper has always inspired me. DANIEL HANDLER I'm dumping the whole box back into your life Ed, every item of you and me. I'm dumping this box on ... DANIEL HANDLER I thought the Barbie doll would always be successful. RUTH HANDLER Through their play Barbara imagined their lives as adults. They used the dolls to reflect the adult ... RUTH HANDLER They were using the dolls to project their dreams of their own futures as adult women. RUTH HANDLER When you start writing a picture book, you have to write a manuscript that has enough language to pr... DANIEL HANDLER It's full of depressing details about the children's lives, ... and, I'm sorry to say, it's the long... DANIEL HANDLER My first novel took almost six years to sell and was rejected 37 times in the interim, and then fina... DANIEL HANDLER Either you have the feeling or you don't. Hawk Davies DANIEL HANDLER The thing with your heart's desire is that your heart doesn't even know what it desires until it tur... DANIEL HANDLER Everything else has vanished, so you take them now. Maybe if you're the one keeping them, I'll be th... DANIEL HANDLER For most people, the two primary relationships they have are with their families or romantic ones. A... DANIEL HANDLER I can't think of a story that doesn't have something terrible in it. Otherwise, it's dul... DANIEL HANDLER I don't know whether it's digital effects or if they trained a baby to bite through steel. I'm not s... DANIEL HANDLER There are so many movies like this, where you thought you were smarter than the screen but the direc... DANIEL HANDLER They really like going to buy fresh roast coffee at cheap prices. DAN HANDLER I'm not a believer in predetermined fates, being rewarded for one's efforts. I'm not a believer in k... DANIEL HANDLER Different beans have different characteristics. Each has their own character and you blend them to g... DAN HANDLER Book thirteen marks the return of a reptile previously gone missing. DANIEL HANDLER I was interested in finding ways to do dark comedy that were actually dark and comic. DANIEL HANDLER People can expect poisonous mushrooms, ... And then only if they open the book. DANIEL HANDLER The way Sunny speaks in the books seems a perfect fit for the cause in question. She often uses word... DANIEL HANDLER A nice thing about children's books, though I'm probably alone in this opinion among people who writ... DANIEL HANDLER And she has a fairly consistent political agenda. She's a baby, so individual liberty is a developin... DANIEL HANDLER Watch Your Mouth. DANIEL HANDLER A library is like an island in the middle of a vast sea of ignorance, particularly if the library is... DANIEL HANDLER For every girl I thought I was uncomplicated sex, it wasn't. Put it this way: if you can't see the c... DANIEL HANDLER Fred Weinberger lent Mark the money directly and not to his company. ROBERT HANDLER Love was in the air, so both of us walked through love on our way to the corner. DANIEL HANDLER They say love's like a bus, and if you wait long enough another one will come along, but not in this... DANIEL HANDLER I think books that are meant to be read in the nighttime ought to confront the very fears that we... DANIEL HANDLER This is like a cookie, it tastes like a cookie having sex with a doughnut. DANIEL HANDLER Kristen is looking at me like I'm a plume of smoke in the kitchen, right before you yell fire! DANIEL HANDLER The idea was women on boats. Lifeline Cruises pitched itself to women seeking adventure, whether a d... DANIEL HANDLER I was looking for something more personal and more stable and more fun. DAN HANDLER And then like a song we'd forgotten was even on the mix, you stepped into the house and my whole lif... DANIEL HANDLER And then the third night was after we broke up, which was worth a million matches but instead just t... DANIEL HANDLER ...there's not enough ink and paper to say all I wanted. DANIEL HANDLER who would dare think that, forever? Some idiot girl who wouldn’t know how things played out. DANIEL HANDLER Twenty-six,” you said. “One for each day we’ve been together, Min.”Somebody oohed. Somebody ... DANIEL HANDLER Undeveloped, the whole thing,tossed into a box before we really had a chance to know what we had, an... DANIEL HANDLER I hadn't even been looking, not for you, and now you were my heart's desire. DANIEL HANDLER They looked at each other like a pair of parentheses. DANIEL HANDLER Someone can break your heart, leave you dead on the lawn, and still you never learn what to say to s... DANIEL HANDLER The thing with your heart's desire is that your heart doesn't even know what it desires until it tur... DANIEL HANDLER You either have the feeling or you don’t. DANIEL HANDLER And this note was a jittery time bomb, ticking beneath my normal life, in my pocket all day firecely... DANIEL HANDLER How wrong to think I was anyone else, like thinking grass stains make you a beautiful view, like get... DANIEL HANDLER It was a secret time and place, you next to me, untraceable and out of this world. DANIEL HANDLER And the truth is that I'm not , Ed, is what I wanted to tell you. I'm not arty like everyone s... DANIEL HANDLER I’d ruin any day, all my days, for those long nights with you, and I did. DANIEL HANDLER I'm telling you why we broke up, Ed. I'm writing this letter, the whole truth of why it happened. An... DANIEL HANDLER I’m not a romantic, I’m a half-wit. Only stupid people would think I’m smart. I’m not someth... DANIEL HANDLER Ed, it was everything, those nights on the phone, everything we said until late became later and the... DANIEL HANDLER I started making plans, thinking we would get that far. DANIEL HANDLER I was stupid, the official descriptive phrase for happy. DANIEL HANDLER Stop saying no offense,” I said, “when you say offensive things. It’s not a free pass. DANIEL HANDLER Why not rise from the grave and terrorize a little instead of staying buried and dead in the cemeter... DANIEL HANDLER Shit, I guess I already loved you then. Doomed like a wineglass knowing it’ll get dropped someday,... DANIEL HANDLER I know you can't see it, not you, Ed, but maybe if I tell you the whole plot you'll understand it th... DANIEL HANDLER How many happy people do you think there are in the world? Twelve? DANIEL HANDLER I guess it's funny how life turns out?" she tried. "Not last I checked," Errol said with a snort. DANIEL HANDLER I write every day weekdays for about 5 hours, mostly longhand on legal pads. It has gotten neither h... DANIEL HANDLER Any playlist without Prince is no friend of mine. DANIEL HANDLER I can cook anything. DANIEL HANDLER I write longhand on legal pads, about half at home and half in cafes. I drink a lot of water and eat... DANIEL HANDLER I like writing for movies. It's nice to be alone working on fiction in your room, and then it... DANIEL HANDLER I kind of always think my work is unfilmable, and when I meet people who are interested in filming i... DANIEL HANDLER I was not a particularly brave child, I think, because I had a narrative mind, because my mind autom... DANIEL HANDLER I listen to Morricone, the famed Italian film composer, while I'm working. DANIEL HANDLER You see failed vocabulary in the adult world so often, and it's often because once you reach a c... DANIEL HANDLER I'm always interested to see what films are made of books. I kind of don't participate as a ... DANIEL HANDLER If you are allergic to a thing, it is best not to put that thing in your mouth, particularly if the ... DANIEL HANDLER 'The Long Goodbye' is one book I like to read over and over again, and it was an enormous in... DANIEL HANDLER The file clanked against me, my stupid idea nobody would have gotten had I ever done it. You even wo... DANIEL HANDLER So many people: Lucille Ball is the earliest incarnation of a woman I thought was funny, Joan Rivers... CHELSEA PERETTI CHELSEA CLINTON There's something about the Pacific Northwest, the scale of it, and the fact that not so long ag... CHELSEA CAIN CHELSEA SEDOTI CHELSEA MANNING CHELSEA MANNING CHELSEA LEYLAND CHELSEA CLINTON CHELSEA CLINTON CHELSEA CLINTON CHELSEA LEYLAND CHELSEA MANNING CHELSEA MANNING CHELSEA MANNING CHELSEA CLINTON CHELSEA CLINTON CHELSEA CLINTON CHELSEA CLINTON CHELSEA CLINTON CHELSEA CLINTON CHELSEA CLINTON
You can put a murderer in a suit, and he's still a murderer. 
He had preserved the best part of her and made it his own: the principle of her scent. 
Kill me, or you are a murderer. 
Newspapermen learn to call a murderer 'an alleged murderer' and the King of England 'the alleged Kin... 
Newspapermen learn to call a murderer "an alleged murderer" and the King of England "the alleged Kin... 
A murderer is regarded by the conventional world as something almost monstrous, but a murderer to hi... 
You allow the world to think you're a heartless murderer," I tell him. "And you're not."
You are not a murderer. I find it difficult to think of that as a personality flaw. 
Being called a murderer: fine, I have no objection to that. It's a fact: I am a sinner, a fallen hum... 
They're targeting guys who dress like me -- guys who dress hip-hop. Put a murderer in a suit, and he... 
You can always count on a murderer for a fancy prose style. 
A murderer is a killer without a uniform. 
On tue un homme, on est un assassin. On tue des millions d'hommes, on est un conquérant. On les tue... 
There are people who cannot forget, as neither do I, the lesson of the years of the Indochina War. W... 
Murderer ain't fit to eternity. 
I try to be a good cop. I try to be a good little soldier and follow orders up to a point. But in th... 
Kill one man and you are a murderer. Kill millions and you are a conqueror. Kill all and you are a G... 
Carcasses bleed at the sight of the murderer. 
You asked me questions nobody ever asked me before. You knew that I was a murderer two times over, b... 
If you are willing to kill for your beliefs, you are a murderer; if you are willing to die for your ... 
Every murderer is probably somebody's old friend. 
Every murderer is probably somebody's old friend 
The problem with cats is that they get the same exact look whether they see a moth or an ax-murderer... 
The problem with cats is that they get the same exact look whether they see a moth or an ax-murderer 
How often do you have to drink?” 
The thief and the murderer follow nature just as much as the philanthropist 
If I don’t start having service I’m going to swap you all for a dog and shoot the dog. 
Our love was a two-person game. At least until one of us died, and the other became a murderer.
I love my murderer--but yours? How can I? 
That was the difference between a hero and a villain, a soldier and a murderer, a victory and a crim... 
You're the type of guy who always snaps at some point and becomes a mass murderer! 
Above all, be suspicious of your fatherland. Nobody is more inclined to become a murderer than a fat... 
When things started to get dangerous, it was important to have people who knew as much as you did. T... 
The problem with cats is that they get the exact same look on their face whether they see a moth or ... 
Commissioner Harris at the far end stared along the mad pathway. This was his first child and it had... 
Capital punishment turns the state into a murderer. But imprisonment turns the state into a gay dung... 
One to be a murderer, the other to be martyred, One to be a monarch, the other to go mad. 
You know, you’re a little complicated after all.” 
A community where everyone is a ruthless murderer, with handy access to death-dealing devices, is a ... 
I don't care what you think. You're not my brother," Clary said. "You're a murderer."
Even academic elites are drawn to the figure of the murderer, which has long been a focus of attenti... 
I think Bush is a murderer. ... I'm going to head the march against him stepping foot on Argentine s... 
I have been fighting the Communists all my life, ... Ho Chi Minh is a murderer. We cannot forget. 
...will you be so kind as to provide me with a few places where I might look for a murderer?"
Are you planning to follow a career in Magical Law, Miss Granger?” asked Scrimgeour.
The fact that a year passed before the murderer was arrested or indicted, there was this sort of doo... 
If I were making a country, I'd get the sewage pipes first, then the democracy, then I'd go about gi... 
Our interest's on the dangerous edge of things. The honest thief, the tender murderer, the superstit... 
The documentary genre, shows like 'Making a Murderer' and 'The Jinx' on HBO, there&#... 
He turns to the painting. "I fear Mark was right."
I'm very much about letting other people shine, because it makes us all shine brighter. 
Laugh loudly, laugh often, and most important, laugh at yourself. 
I want to educate people and deliver news that isn't just surrounded by Charlie Sheen. I'd l... 
When my father announced his campaign for president on Oct. 3, 1991, I had already cast my vote in f... 
While watching the revelry in the Barn, I'd had an epiphany. Parties weren't just about who was who ... 
Unfortunately, it seems to me that when it comes to issues affecting the trans community, most peopl... 
Suffrage is not a right afforded to everyone. Rather, voting is a privilege in the United States - a... 
Wear an unusual accessory to complete your outfit. 
My grandmother, who passed away at the beginning of November, had a core adage in her life that '... 
I hope telling stories though 'Making a Difference' - as in my academic work and nonprofit w... 
The best thing about being a DJ is making people happy. There is nothing like seeing people get up f... 
Patriotism is often the cry extolled when morally questionable acts are advocated by those in power....