Chelsea Handler
Related CHELSEA HANDLER In Korea, there are many people who keep their family dogs in their garden, neglecting their physica... YOON KERR Eating with a dog nearby may turn some customers off. But then there are some people who do everythi... CHRIS ARMSTRONG We know that the people who took time to obtain the licenses are owners who take their dogs to obedi... CHERYL CONWAY Some dogs take longer to mature. They're kind of freaked out by their first experience. You need to ... CARLA KELLY As the number of people who treat dogs like their own family members and closely interact with them ... YOON KERR Dog owners who have dogs with a respiratory infection should keep their dogs at home. As far as the ... CYNDA CRAWFORD I began to encounter real-life stories of dogs protecting their wounded or dying or dead handler... ... ROBERT CRAIS There are a number of people in the community who are handicapped and rely on guide dogs. They are w... GINGER LOWE I love that there are beaches you can walk your dog on in San Francisco. Fort Funston is big and alw... JANE WIEDLIN If you live with dogs, you'll never run out of things to write about. SHARON DELAROSE HARPER LEE In the old days in France, they had beheadings of people who commit heinous crimes, ... Nevada Newsm... OSCAR GOODMAN Everyone knows dogs. Most people love dogs. I think most American families probably have a dog, but ... ROBERT CRAIS REBEL WILSON The dog looked up in entreaty. Liquid brown eyes begged: Take me with you. I’ll be good. Oh, the l... COURTNEY MILAN DANNY SILK TERRY PRATCHETT RICHARD CHAMBERLAIN Take me to the height where success would seek my help to succeed! I ARE It's so bad people are afraid to walk their dogs or push children in strollers. ELIZABETH CHARETTE People are needed to take up the challenge, strong people, who proclaim the truth, throw it in peopl... ABBE PIERRE People are needed to take up the challenge, strong people, who proclaim the truth, throw it in peopl... ABBE PIERRE BRIGITTE BARDOT SHORT QUOTES Frankly, the only good people who I know are dogs. FAKEER ISHAVARDAS You need to think about the people who are working in that building. The smell and there are people ... DAVID HOOD Our editorial team goes through, and we choose to publish the ones submitted by the people who take ... KATHY KEIL She loves dogs. And in time, who knows, maybe she would even have ended up loving the type of dogs w... RICHARD FINNEY People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don’t believe in circumstances.... KIRK MANGO I think you should only take your dog if it can get along with other dogs. BETH PATTERSON ADAM BEACH We are getting a renaissance downtown. We've got designer restaurants and designer dogs, and (people... KATHY RUSSELL RONALD REAGAN Those who sleep with dogs gets up with fleas. PROVERB I hope if dogs take over the world, and they choose a king, they don't just go by size, because I be... JACK HANDY If I don't speak up, who else is going to get stabbed? ... They don't know their children are having... CARLOS CRUZ GEORGE BERNARD SHAW GEORGE BERNARD SHAW GEORGE BERNARD SHAW GEORGE BERNARD SHAW J.K. ROWLING AUGUST STRINDBERG AUGUST STRINDBERG Dogs are very sensitive to their owners' moods and pick up on when they are unhappy, unwell or under... CHRIS PRICE I see this as a civil rights issue. People who are gay have a right to be treated equally. PAUL ASH SIGMUND FREUD ASHLY LORENZANA There's such a quantity of dogs out there. But people there aren't interested in adopting a dog off ... GARO ALEXANIAN No two dogs are alike. And yet, all dogs have something in common that makes them dogs, and makes th... OLIVER MARKUS MALLOY ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE CATHY GUISEWITE It depends what people are looking for. If people need a protection dog, I can do that, or I can tra... JULIE FURBACHER I admire strength but I fall in love with vulnerability.DRISHTI BABLANI MARIAH CAREY JOHN LASSETER People nowadays don't treat their dogs as property. Dogs are seen as members of the family. DICK SAMUELS AUGUST STRINDBERG People come up to you with tears in their eyes wanting to take you into their house. AARON WILKINSON EDDIE IZZARD Lost dogs, especially like this one with a skittish temperament, are likely not going to come up to ... KAT ALBRECHT Those who take pride over their high chair position should understand that they are simply plain luc... ANUJ SOMANY Quite often, people who build big businesses don't believe anyone else can run them, and you end... PETER HARGREAVES AL FRANKEN GARY ACKERMAN DENIS LEARY When you hear the word 'disabled,' people immediately think about people who can't walk ... TERI GARR LAURENCE STERNE COLIN POWELL We have a million people displaced and we have 100 million Americans that are opening up their heart... CARL LEVIN I was part of a show called 'Manifest Equality' in Los Angeles in 2010, and I realized there... IO TILLETT WRIGHT Some people think a dog is a dog, and some people think this dog is a part of my family. Some people... JACKIE JORDAN DOUGLAS WILLIAM JERROLD All of the people who are renting homes in this state, their rents are going to go up even more. JOE SINAGRA HENRY FIELDING GROUCHO MARX CATHY GUISEWITE EDDIE IZZARD EDDIE IZZARD Who are these people sharing the street with me? What is going on in their worlds, inside their head... ALISON LARKIN FRED ROGERS Narrow minded people never mingle with those who seek to find answers, they rather prefer you to tak... SAIDA HOSHI It's just not part of who I am to hate black people or Mexican people. so instead of trying to devel... FAIRUZA BALK Obviously he lives with his dogs and takes good care of them, they are much better off with him than... FRANCESCA CANTALINI AUGUST STRINDBERG SAINT BERNARD I know a lot of people who are weak, who are in a perpetual cycle of poverty and being locked up. Th... MEKHI PHIFER [Lisa Peterson of the American Kennel Club says dogs are well suited to assist people with disabilit... LISA PETERSON I really admire people in the public eye, who have influence or celebrity and they take a stand on s... EILEEN ANGLIN You can't replace one dog with another any more than you can replace one person with another, but th... POLLY HORVATH [Church leaders who have asked volunteers to allow evacuees to move in with them] have their heart i... BARRY STEIN JILL SCOTT JOHN RIDLEY JONATHAN SAFRAN FOER All women are troublemakers who take the money their husbands need desperately for a new and better ... STAN FREBERG Take a breath and look behind. The people you are trying to catch up are so few compared to the peop... JECON B. NADELA No dog is too much for me to handle. I rehabilitate dogs, I train people. I am the dog whisperer. CESAR MILLAN Whenever I see people with their collars up, I'm tempted to point it out to them like you would for ... STEPHAN PASTIS They're really preying on people who are vulnerable, and that's a shame. The other issue with this i... BOB CASEY RICHARD WEAVER
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CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER CHELSEA HANDLER I didn't like books where people played on a sports team and won a bunch of games, or went to su... DANIEL HANDLER I like to give people novels I think they would like, on no particular occasion - just when we'r... DANIEL HANDLER Blank paper has always inspired me. DANIEL HANDLER I'm dumping the whole box back into your life Ed, every item of you and me. I'm dumping this box on ... DANIEL HANDLER I thought the Barbie doll would always be successful. RUTH HANDLER Through their play Barbara imagined their lives as adults. They used the dolls to reflect the adult ... RUTH HANDLER They were using the dolls to project their dreams of their own futures as adult women. RUTH HANDLER When you start writing a picture book, you have to write a manuscript that has enough language to pr... DANIEL HANDLER It's full of depressing details about the children's lives, ... and, I'm sorry to say, it's the long... DANIEL HANDLER My first novel took almost six years to sell and was rejected 37 times in the interim, and then fina... DANIEL HANDLER Either you have the feeling or you don't. Hawk Davies DANIEL HANDLER The thing with your heart's desire is that your heart doesn't even know what it desires until it tur... DANIEL HANDLER Everything else has vanished, so you take them now. Maybe if you're the one keeping them, I'll be th... DANIEL HANDLER For most people, the two primary relationships they have are with their families or romantic ones. A... DANIEL HANDLER I can't think of a story that doesn't have something terrible in it. Otherwise, it's dul... DANIEL HANDLER I don't know whether it's digital effects or if they trained a baby to bite through steel. I'm not s... DANIEL HANDLER There are so many movies like this, where you thought you were smarter than the screen but the direc... DANIEL HANDLER They really like going to buy fresh roast coffee at cheap prices. DAN HANDLER I'm not a believer in predetermined fates, being rewarded for one's efforts. I'm not a believer in k... DANIEL HANDLER Different beans have different characteristics. Each has their own character and you blend them to g... DAN HANDLER Book thirteen marks the return of a reptile previously gone missing. DANIEL HANDLER I was interested in finding ways to do dark comedy that were actually dark and comic. DANIEL HANDLER People can expect poisonous mushrooms, ... And then only if they open the book. DANIEL HANDLER The way Sunny speaks in the books seems a perfect fit for the cause in question. She often uses word... DANIEL HANDLER A nice thing about children's books, though I'm probably alone in this opinion among people who writ... DANIEL HANDLER And she has a fairly consistent political agenda. She's a baby, so individual liberty is a developin... DANIEL HANDLER Watch Your Mouth. DANIEL HANDLER A library is like an island in the middle of a vast sea of ignorance, particularly if the library is... DANIEL HANDLER For every girl I thought I was uncomplicated sex, it wasn't. Put it this way: if you can't see the c... DANIEL HANDLER Fred Weinberger lent Mark the money directly and not to his company. ROBERT HANDLER Love was in the air, so both of us walked through love on our way to the corner. DANIEL HANDLER They say love's like a bus, and if you wait long enough another one will come along, but not in this... DANIEL HANDLER I think books that are meant to be read in the nighttime ought to confront the very fears that we... DANIEL HANDLER This is like a cookie, it tastes like a cookie having sex with a doughnut. DANIEL HANDLER Kristen is looking at me like I'm a plume of smoke in the kitchen, right before you yell fire! DANIEL HANDLER The idea was women on boats. Lifeline Cruises pitched itself to women seeking adventure, whether a d... DANIEL HANDLER I was looking for something more personal and more stable and more fun. DAN HANDLER And then like a song we'd forgotten was even on the mix, you stepped into the house and my whole lif... DANIEL HANDLER And then the third night was after we broke up, which was worth a million matches but instead just t... DANIEL HANDLER ...there's not enough ink and paper to say all I wanted. DANIEL HANDLER who would dare think that, forever? Some idiot girl who wouldn’t know how things played out. DANIEL HANDLER Twenty-six,” you said. “One for each day we’ve been together, Min.”Somebody oohed. Somebody ... DANIEL HANDLER Undeveloped, the whole thing,tossed into a box before we really had a chance to know what we had, an... DANIEL HANDLER I hadn't even been looking, not for you, and now you were my heart's desire. DANIEL HANDLER They looked at each other like a pair of parentheses. DANIEL HANDLER Someone can break your heart, leave you dead on the lawn, and still you never learn what to say to s... DANIEL HANDLER The thing with your heart's desire is that your heart doesn't even know what it desires until it tur... DANIEL HANDLER You either have the feeling or you don’t. DANIEL HANDLER And this note was a jittery time bomb, ticking beneath my normal life, in my pocket all day firecely... DANIEL HANDLER How wrong to think I was anyone else, like thinking grass stains make you a beautiful view, like get... DANIEL HANDLER It was a secret time and place, you next to me, untraceable and out of this world. DANIEL HANDLER And the truth is that I'm not , Ed, is what I wanted to tell you. I'm not arty like everyone s... DANIEL HANDLER I’d ruin any day, all my days, for those long nights with you, and I did. DANIEL HANDLER I'm telling you why we broke up, Ed. I'm writing this letter, the whole truth of why it happened. An... DANIEL HANDLER I’m not a romantic, I’m a half-wit. Only stupid people would think I’m smart. I’m not someth... DANIEL HANDLER Ed, it was everything, those nights on the phone, everything we said until late became later and the... DANIEL HANDLER I started making plans, thinking we would get that far. DANIEL HANDLER I was stupid, the official descriptive phrase for happy. DANIEL HANDLER Stop saying no offense,” I said, “when you say offensive things. It’s not a free pass. DANIEL HANDLER Why not rise from the grave and terrorize a little instead of staying buried and dead in the cemeter... DANIEL HANDLER Shit, I guess I already loved you then. Doomed like a wineglass knowing it’ll get dropped someday,... DANIEL HANDLER I know you can't see it, not you, Ed, but maybe if I tell you the whole plot you'll understand it th... DANIEL HANDLER How many happy people do you think there are in the world? Twelve? DANIEL HANDLER I guess it's funny how life turns out?" she tried. "Not last I checked," Errol said with a snort. DANIEL HANDLER I write every day weekdays for about 5 hours, mostly longhand on legal pads. It has gotten neither h... DANIEL HANDLER Any playlist without Prince is no friend of mine. DANIEL HANDLER I can cook anything. DANIEL HANDLER I write longhand on legal pads, about half at home and half in cafes. I drink a lot of water and eat... DANIEL HANDLER I like writing for movies. It's nice to be alone working on fiction in your room, and then it... DANIEL HANDLER I kind of always think my work is unfilmable, and when I meet people who are interested in filming i... DANIEL HANDLER I was not a particularly brave child, I think, because I had a narrative mind, because my mind autom... DANIEL HANDLER I listen to Morricone, the famed Italian film composer, while I'm working. DANIEL HANDLER You see failed vocabulary in the adult world so often, and it's often because once you reach a c... DANIEL HANDLER I'm always interested to see what films are made of books. I kind of don't participate as a ... DANIEL HANDLER If you are allergic to a thing, it is best not to put that thing in your mouth, particularly if the ... DANIEL HANDLER 'The Long Goodbye' is one book I like to read over and over again, and it was an enormous in... DANIEL HANDLER The file clanked against me, my stupid idea nobody would have gotten had I ever done it. You even wo... DANIEL HANDLER So many people: Lucille Ball is the earliest incarnation of a woman I thought was funny, Joan Rivers... CHELSEA PERETTI CHELSEA CLINTON There's something about the Pacific Northwest, the scale of it, and the fact that not so long ag... CHELSEA CAIN CHELSEA SEDOTI CHELSEA MANNING CHELSEA MANNING CHELSEA LEYLAND CHELSEA CLINTON CHELSEA CLINTON CHELSEA CLINTON CHELSEA LEYLAND CHELSEA MANNING CHELSEA MANNING CHELSEA MANNING CHELSEA CLINTON CHELSEA CLINTON CHELSEA CLINTON CHELSEA CLINTON CHELSEA CLINTON CHELSEA CLINTON CHELSEA CLINTON
I don't appreciate people who celebrate their dog's birthdays with "dog parties," and then invite th... 
People in their right minds never take pride in their talents. 
Up until the age of 12, I went to dog shows every weekend. Mum showed beagles. It's a really com... 
Powerful people take responsibility for their lives and choices. Powerful people choose who they wan... 
Dogs are not like cats, who amusingly tolerate humans only until someone comes up with a tin opener ... 
I actually feel sorry for people who have a lot of illusions in their head about what gay is. I mean... 
We have to convince the people of Bucharest, who are dog lovers, to treat dogs like they treat their... 
I feel sorry for people who don't have dogs. I hear they have to pick up food they drop on the floor... 
Some people look for a certain structure in their lives that they're comfortable with. People wh... 
You and I are told we must choose between a left or right, but I suggest there is no such thing as a... 
People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don't believe in circumstances. T... 
People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don't believe in circumstances. T... 
It is a curious thing, Harry, but perhaps those who are best suited to power are those who have neve... 
I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves. 
I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to
bite people themselves. 
Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike people, who are incapable of pure love ... 
We judge others instantly by their clothes, their cars, their appearance, their race, their educatio... 
My line of thoughts about dogs is analogous. A dog reflects the family life. Whoever saw a frisky do... 
A lot of married people certainly have wonderful relationships with their dogs, but when you're sing... 
My brother and sister had a much worse childhood, I think, because they were older, and they had to ... 
I believe in the nobility of entertaining people and I take great, great pride that people are willi... 
People who keep dogs are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves. 
But with dogs, we do have bad dog. Bad dog exists. Bad dog! Bad dog! Stole a biscuit, bad dog!... 
Veterans report that service dogs help break their isolation. People will often avert their eyes whe... 
Sometimes people who are Jewish are held to a higher standard which sometimes we take great pride in... 
I know gay - gay people who aren't married who are better parents than some, you know, straight ... 
People who overly take care of their health are like misers. They hoard up a treasure which they nev... 
Surround yourself with people who take their work seriously, but not themselves, those who work hard... 
Even the worse of jobs has their pleasures, if I were a grave digger or a hangmen, there are some pe... 
So when two dogs are fighting in the streets,
When a third dog one of the two dogs meets:
With... 
If aliens saw us walking our dogs and picking up their poop, who would they think is in charge? 
A lot of married people certainly have wonderful relationships with their dogs, but when you're ... 
But with dogs, we do have “bad dog.” Bad dog exists. “Bad dog! Bad dog! Stole a biscuit, bad d... 
Part of the problem with the word 'disabilities' is that it immediately suggests an inability to see... 
There are people who go clad in tunics and have nothing to do with furs, who nevertheless are lackin... 
For anyone who feels they are overwhelmed by their job, or maybe they take their job too seriously o... 
For the vast majority of those who are obese - those with a Body Mass Index over 30 - their size is ... 
The French, who love their dogs, sometimes eat their horses. The Spanish, who love their horses, som... 
People who give up their own land too readily need careful weighing, exactly as do those who are so ... 
The challenge is to keep it fresh. If you're talking about Britney Spears over and over, it'... 
Laugh loudly, laugh often, and most important, laugh at yourself. 
When my father announced his campaign for president on Oct. 3, 1991, I had already cast my vote in f... 
While watching the revelry in the Barn, I'd had an epiphany. Parties weren't just about who was who ... 
Unfortunately, it seems to me that when it comes to issues affecting the trans community, most peopl... 
Suffrage is not a right afforded to everyone. Rather, voting is a privilege in the United States - a... 
Wear an unusual accessory to complete your outfit. 
I've always been incredibly proud of both of my parents and proud of the work I had done private... 
Having a birthday around the holidays was never easy and, with every successive year, it felt more a... 
I believe that engaging in the political process is part of being a good person. 