Our love was a two-person game. At least until one of us died, and the other became a murderer.


She asked if I loved another woman, so I answered honestly and said, “Dinner was great, but I could go for dessert.

I had a dream about you. We installed Dr. Robert Jarvik’s artificial heart in a mannequin and brought it to life, only to later kill it because a creature that’s all fake heart and no brain is what’s commonly called a “politician,” and must be destroyed.


I love being in love, but I also love other things, like not being jealous, overly sensitive, or needy.


If I could bronze my love, it’d be worthy of a silver medal.


If you have the woman you love, what more do you need? Well, besides an alibi for the time of her husband’s murder.