Chelsea Handler
Related I like to open for a band as it brings on sort of a challenge and it makes things more interesting. ... KELLY JONES CAROL LEE The first two or three plays he was in I was about ready to reach out and choke him. After the game,... ROY WILLIAMS MICHELE JAFFE HOLLY BLACK KRISTEN ASHLEY I was mad at the pitch before being called a strike, I was mad I swung at that, and then he hung me ... LARRY WALKER MELISSA LANDERS RUPI KAUR I was so mad, I reached into the drawer for her fake sushi eraser and put it in my pocket. Serves he... SARAH DARER LITTMAN HOLLY BLACK NICHOLAS SPARKS Phil has always been a fighter. He was getting in fights all the time. I told him that if he ever hi... MICHAEL SCHENKER COLLEEN HOOVER MARKUS ZUSAK KATE MIDDLETON KATE MIDDLETON CASSANDRA CLARE JOHN GREEN MELINA MARCHETTA DOUGLAS ADAMS Mum was pregnant, then there was Sharron. [...]LAURIE MATTHEW She is pissed off all the time,” he mumbled and I remained silent, letting him ramble. “She want... C.A. HARMS My God", he whispered. What have I done to her? He thought, humbled. The spell was broken, but it wa... KIM HARRISON JENNY HAN CANDACE BUSHNELL CANDACE BUSHNELL Edward kissed her for the first time in months without that hazy veil between them. And this kiss wa... KRISTEN CASEY JOHN GREEN RACHEL CAINE IAN MCEWAN NATSUKI TAKAYA CASSANDRA CLARE CHARLES FRAZIER TIM O'BRIEN HILARY MCKAY QUEEN ELIZABETH II QUEEN ELIZABETH II QUEEN ELIZABETH II QUEEN ELIZABETH II QUEEN ELIZABETH II QUEEN ELIZABETH II QUEEN ELIZABETH II QUEEN ELIZABETH II QUEEN ELIZABETH II QUEEN ELIZABETH II QUEEN ELIZABETH II QUEEN ELIZABETH II QUEEN ELIZABETH II QUEEN ELIZABETH II QUEEN ELIZABETH II QUEEN ELIZABETH II QUEEN ELIZABETH II QUEEN ELIZABETH II QUEEN ELIZABETH II QUEEN ELIZABETH II QUEEN ELIZABETH II QUEEN ELIZABETH II QUEEN ELIZABETH II QUEEN ELIZABETH II QUEEN ELIZABETH II QUEEN ELIZABETH II QUEEN ELIZABETH II QUEEN ELIZABETH II QUEEN ELIZABETH II QUEEN ELIZABETH II QUEEN ELIZABETH II QUEEN ELIZABETH II He was a real family man. Every Sunday he would cook up this big feast over at his house, and my wif... GLENN KROLL If I had it my way, Harper and I wouldn't be standing in this room right now, we wouldn't be pressed... MOLLY MCADAMS STEPHEN CHBOSKY KATJA MILLAY PENELOPE DOUGLAS JOHN BARROWMAN He was her life. She loved that boy, did everything for him. She never said a word about him being v... AUTRAULIA HARRIS JENNY HAN KATJA MILLAY KIMBERLY DERTING AESOP The coach (Ken Hitchcock) had told me out front that he wanted different kind of players for his fou... TODD FEDORUK STACIA KANE STEPHEN CHBOSKY There was too much between them to think of any type of future. Yet, with him standing in front of h... LAVERNE ST. GEORGE Some crazy man came up to me and started screaming at me about how he hated Allah, and before I coul... ERIC JEROME DICKEY CASSANDRA CLARE JODI PICOULT When they had a roast for me a while back, he told this story about how I always jumped on him about... BILL MERCER You're right,' said the corporal. 'It serves editors like that right. They only stir the people up. ... JAROSLAV HAšEK SENATOR JOHN KERRY ALICE SEBOLD Perry was leaning into my mother as he listened to what she said. They talked so close. He only lean... MARGARET MCMULLAN KRISTIN CASHORE Adam ” Lori called loudly enough for me to hear her but not so loud that her voice would carry up ... JENNIFER ECHOLS L.M. MONTGOMERY PRINCE WILLIAM PRINCESS DIANA CATHERINE THE GREAT KATE MIDDLETON KING SOLOMON I don't mind a big fascinator. I think there is more scope for artwork in a fascinator rather th... ZARA PHILLIPS
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DANIEL HANDLER I like to give people novels I think they would like, on no particular occasion - just when we'r... DANIEL HANDLER Blank paper has always inspired me. DANIEL HANDLER I'm dumping the whole box back into your life Ed, every item of you and me. I'm dumping this box on ... DANIEL HANDLER I thought the Barbie doll would always be successful. RUTH HANDLER Through their play Barbara imagined their lives as adults. They used the dolls to reflect the adult ... RUTH HANDLER They were using the dolls to project their dreams of their own futures as adult women. RUTH HANDLER When you start writing a picture book, you have to write a manuscript that has enough language to pr... DANIEL HANDLER It's full of depressing details about the children's lives, ... and, I'm sorry to say, it's the long... DANIEL HANDLER My first novel took almost six years to sell and was rejected 37 times in the interim, and then fina... DANIEL HANDLER Either you have the feeling or you don't. Hawk Davies DANIEL HANDLER The thing with your heart's desire is that your heart doesn't even know what it desires until it tur... DANIEL HANDLER Everything else has vanished, so you take them now. Maybe if you're the one keeping them, I'll be th... DANIEL HANDLER For most people, the two primary relationships they have are with their families or romantic ones. A... DANIEL HANDLER I can't think of a story that doesn't have something terrible in it. Otherwise, it's dul... DANIEL HANDLER I don't know whether it's digital effects or if they trained a baby to bite through steel. I'm not s... DANIEL HANDLER There are so many movies like this, where you thought you were smarter than the screen but the direc... DANIEL HANDLER They really like going to buy fresh roast coffee at cheap prices. DAN HANDLER I'm not a believer in predetermined fates, being rewarded for one's efforts. I'm not a believer in k... DANIEL HANDLER Different beans have different characteristics. Each has their own character and you blend them to g... DAN HANDLER Book thirteen marks the return of a reptile previously gone missing. DANIEL HANDLER I was interested in finding ways to do dark comedy that were actually dark and comic. DANIEL HANDLER People can expect poisonous mushrooms, ... And then only if they open the book. DANIEL HANDLER The way Sunny speaks in the books seems a perfect fit for the cause in question. She often uses word... DANIEL HANDLER A nice thing about children's books, though I'm probably alone in this opinion among people who writ... DANIEL HANDLER And she has a fairly consistent political agenda. She's a baby, so individual liberty is a developin... DANIEL HANDLER Watch Your Mouth. DANIEL HANDLER A library is like an island in the middle of a vast sea of ignorance, particularly if the library is... DANIEL HANDLER For every girl I thought I was uncomplicated sex, it wasn't. Put it this way: if you can't see the c... DANIEL HANDLER Fred Weinberger lent Mark the money directly and not to his company. ROBERT HANDLER Love was in the air, so both of us walked through love on our way to the corner. DANIEL HANDLER They say love's like a bus, and if you wait long enough another one will come along, but not in this... DANIEL HANDLER I think books that are meant to be read in the nighttime ought to confront the very fears that we... DANIEL HANDLER This is like a cookie, it tastes like a cookie having sex with a doughnut. DANIEL HANDLER Kristen is looking at me like I'm a plume of smoke in the kitchen, right before you yell fire! DANIEL HANDLER The idea was women on boats. Lifeline Cruises pitched itself to women seeking adventure, whether a d... DANIEL HANDLER I was looking for something more personal and more stable and more fun. DAN HANDLER And then like a song we'd forgotten was even on the mix, you stepped into the house and my whole lif... DANIEL HANDLER And then the third night was after we broke up, which was worth a million matches but instead just t... DANIEL HANDLER ...there's not enough ink and paper to say all I wanted. DANIEL HANDLER who would dare think that, forever? Some idiot girl who wouldn’t know how things played out. DANIEL HANDLER Twenty-six,” you said. “One for each day we’ve been together, Min.”Somebody oohed. Somebody ... DANIEL HANDLER Undeveloped, the whole thing,tossed into a box before we really had a chance to know what we had, an... DANIEL HANDLER I hadn't even been looking, not for you, and now you were my heart's desire. DANIEL HANDLER They looked at each other like a pair of parentheses. DANIEL HANDLER Someone can break your heart, leave you dead on the lawn, and still you never learn what to say to s... DANIEL HANDLER The thing with your heart's desire is that your heart doesn't even know what it desires until it tur... DANIEL HANDLER You either have the feeling or you don’t. DANIEL HANDLER And this note was a jittery time bomb, ticking beneath my normal life, in my pocket all day firecely... DANIEL HANDLER How wrong to think I was anyone else, like thinking grass stains make you a beautiful view, like get... DANIEL HANDLER It was a secret time and place, you next to me, untraceable and out of this world. DANIEL HANDLER And the truth is that I'm not , Ed, is what I wanted to tell you. I'm not arty like everyone s... DANIEL HANDLER I’d ruin any day, all my days, for those long nights with you, and I did. DANIEL HANDLER I'm telling you why we broke up, Ed. I'm writing this letter, the whole truth of why it happened. An... DANIEL HANDLER I’m not a romantic, I’m a half-wit. Only stupid people would think I’m smart. I’m not someth... DANIEL HANDLER Ed, it was everything, those nights on the phone, everything we said until late became later and the... DANIEL HANDLER I started making plans, thinking we would get that far. DANIEL HANDLER I was stupid, the official descriptive phrase for happy. DANIEL HANDLER Stop saying no offense,” I said, “when you say offensive things. It’s not a free pass. DANIEL HANDLER Why not rise from the grave and terrorize a little instead of staying buried and dead in the cemeter... DANIEL HANDLER Shit, I guess I already loved you then. Doomed like a wineglass knowing it’ll get dropped someday,... DANIEL HANDLER I know you can't see it, not you, Ed, but maybe if I tell you the whole plot you'll understand it th... DANIEL HANDLER How many happy people do you think there are in the world? Twelve? DANIEL HANDLER I guess it's funny how life turns out?" she tried. "Not last I checked," Errol said with a snort. DANIEL HANDLER I write every day weekdays for about 5 hours, mostly longhand on legal pads. It has gotten neither h... DANIEL HANDLER Any playlist without Prince is no friend of mine. DANIEL HANDLER I can cook anything. DANIEL HANDLER I write longhand on legal pads, about half at home and half in cafes. I drink a lot of water and eat... DANIEL HANDLER I like writing for movies. It's nice to be alone working on fiction in your room, and then it... DANIEL HANDLER I kind of always think my work is unfilmable, and when I meet people who are interested in filming i... DANIEL HANDLER I was not a particularly brave child, I think, because I had a narrative mind, because my mind autom... DANIEL HANDLER I listen to Morricone, the famed Italian film composer, while I'm working. DANIEL HANDLER You see failed vocabulary in the adult world so often, and it's often because once you reach a c... DANIEL HANDLER I'm always interested to see what films are made of books. I kind of don't participate as a ... DANIEL HANDLER If you are allergic to a thing, it is best not to put that thing in your mouth, particularly if the ... DANIEL HANDLER 'The Long Goodbye' is one book I like to read over and over again, and it was an enormous in... DANIEL HANDLER The file clanked against me, my stupid idea nobody would have gotten had I ever done it. You even wo... DANIEL HANDLER So many people: Lucille Ball is the earliest incarnation of a woman I thought was funny, Joan Rivers... CHELSEA PERETTI CHELSEA CLINTON There's something about the Pacific Northwest, the scale of it, and the fact that not so long ag... CHELSEA CAIN CHELSEA SEDOTI CHELSEA MANNING CHELSEA MANNING CHELSEA LEYLAND CHELSEA CLINTON CHELSEA CLINTON CHELSEA CLINTON CHELSEA LEYLAND CHELSEA MANNING CHELSEA MANNING CHELSEA MANNING CHELSEA CLINTON CHELSEA CLINTON CHELSEA CLINTON CHELSEA CLINTON CHELSEA CLINTON CHELSEA CLINTON CHELSEA CLINTON
Whatever it was her father wanted, Emma did not know how to provide it. She felt confused by what he... 
Are you wearing space pants?" Miranda asked him.
She suddenly understood why she had let him kiss her in the diner, why she had wanted him at all.
She stared into his eyes and announced, “A good-bye kiss.”
Please.” He swallowed hard and begged with those big blue eyes. “Please don’t leave me here.�... 
you left 
You're not the way everyone says you are," Kaye said, looking at him so fiercely that he couldn't me... 
She would tell him what she wanted in her life--her hopes and dreams for the future--and he would li... 
I stood beside the U-Haul, and I just watched her. I stared at her while she looked on with the sadd... 
Hair the color of lemons,'" Rudy read. His fingers touched the words. "You told him about me?"
I don't know if I have a favorite color. 
She hated that will had this effect on her. Hated it. She knew better. She knew what he thought of h... 
It was not enough to be the last guy she kissed. I wanted to be the last one she loved. And I knew I... 
When it was over, she gathered him in her arms. And told him the terrible irony of her life.
One of the major difficulties Trillian experienced in her relationship with Zaphod was learning to d... 
I couldn't even be mad at him, because this was who he was. This was who he'd always been. He'd neve... 
..he said, he didn't know what to do. He couldn't move forward. He thought, they should move on. He ... 
Her hands brushed Shane's, and he let go of the cards and took hold.
When she found a place of her own
Everyone just laughed. But then, I closed my eyes and deeply thought about the story of the tourist,... 
While this is all very amusing, the kiss that will free the girl is the kiss that she most desires,�... 
She fit her head under his chin, and he could feel her weight settle into him. He held her tight and... 
…he wanted to sleep inside her lungs and breathe her blood and be smothered. He wanted her to be a... 
Rose's work of art took her all day, including two playtimes, story time, and most of lunch.
It's all to do with the training: you can do a lot if you're properly trained. 
My husband has quite simply been my strength and stay all these years, and I owe him a debt greater ... 
It is easy enough to define what the Commonwealth is not. Indeed this is quite a popular pastime. 
I thought about him going into my mom's when she was little and hitting my mom and holding up her re... 
It’s about the dream of second chances,” he says finally. He hasn’t raised his eyes from the p... 
There was a time when I had all of his attention and loved it. As much as I wanted him to leave me a... 
Scott came into the dressing room while I was getting dressed, ... I was bending over to pull my pan... 
We stood there, looking at each other, saying nothing. But it was the kind of nothing that meant eve... 
School went exactly as Violet thought it would: weird. It wasn’t her best, and it wasn’t her wor... 
The Old Woman and the Physician
An old woman having lost the use of her eyes, called in a Physician ... 
But she never thought about the way Terrible looked, at least not that way. He hadn’t been ugly to... 
I thought about him going into my mom's room when she as little and holding up her report card and s... 
The new father finally hangs up the phone, laughing at absolutely nothing. "Congratulations," I say,... 
I defended him [John McCain] in those hearings when some stupid-ass right-wing idiot accused him of ... 
His love for my mother wasn't about looking back and loving something that would never change. It wa... 
Fire's tears were real now, and there was no helping them, for there was no time. Everything was mov... 
But it was a happy and beautiful bride who came down the old, homespun-
We'll sort of get over the marriage first and then maybe look at the kids. But obviously we want... 
Family is the most important thing in the world. 
You philosophers are lucky men. You write on paper and paper is patient. Unfortunate Empress that I ... 
With the right help, children have a good chance of overcoming their issues while they are still you... 
As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend. 
I'm very much about letting other people shine, because it makes us all shine brighter. 
The challenge is to keep it fresh. If you're talking about Britney Spears over and over, it'... 
I never considered myself a supermodel or anything like that. I mean, I don't think I'm ugly... 
When my father announced his campaign for president on Oct. 3, 1991, I had already cast my vote in f... 
While watching the revelry in the Barn, I'd had an epiphany. Parties weren't just about who was who ... 
Unfortunately, it seems to me that when it comes to issues affecting the trans community, most peopl... 
Suffrage is not a right afforded to everyone. Rather, voting is a privilege in the United States - a... 
Wear an unusual accessory to complete your outfit. 
I've always been incredibly proud of both of my parents and proud of the work I had done private... 
I hope telling stories though 'Making a Difference' - as in my academic work and nonprofit w... 
The best thing about being a DJ is making people happy. There is nothing like seeing people get up f... 
Patriotism is often the cry extolled when morally questionable acts are advocated by those in power.... 