Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you're getting a dictionary.
Anonymous
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Santa is a magical and cuddly man, not a fat, smelly slob. I even saw a Santa last year wearing trai...
JAMES LOVELL When Facebook was getting started, nothing used real identity - everything was anonymous or pseudony...
MARK ZUCKERBERG He adds friends on Facebook, not to befriend them, but to get applause, whenever he posts his photos...
DR HITESH C SHETH On Facebook, if you don’t like someone else status, photos or posts, they too won’t like your st...
DR HITESH C SHETH I'm going to open a new Facebook account named 'Anonymous' so all the cool quotes will be attributed...
ANONYMOUS Worse, neither of us has liked any of the other’s Facebook posts, the modern equivalent of pistols...
MARIAN KEYES God wants your soul for all eternity. All Santa requires is cookies and milk... One night out of the...
PAUL HENDERSON Pages on Facebook are allowed to be anonymous. That is really important. People start revolutions; w...
SHERYL SANDBERG Amazing, life-altering anonymous picture quotes on FaceBook: Are they created by graphic designers w...
FIERCE DOLAN I saw the Oxford English Dictionary there for the first time.
HAROLD BLOOM I'm going to North Pole to help out Santa this year.
JIMMY FALLON If a band or artist isn't tweeting or writing posts on Facebook every day, there can be this kin...
WASHED OUT My Facebook friends are like my pen collection. I have 100 but only one writes.
FACEBOOK I never saw a department store Santa as a kid. My mother was afraid to take me.
TERRY ZWIGOFF Santa Claus had the right idea. Visit everyone once a year.
Santa Claus has the right idea: visit people once a year
VICTOR BORGE You can never eliminate the word fail in your life's dictionary,but you can eliminate the word failu...
DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN) We needed to do a real good job making it as difficult as possible on their posts getting the ball. ...
HEIDI MICHAELIS Santa came early this year for polluting industries. Congress should play Scrooge and cut these dirt...
GAWAIN KRIPKE Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year.
VICTOR BORGE When you sign up for Facebook, the service first searches for any mentions of your name and suggests...
ETHAN ZUCKERMAN I think there's a danger in how we can get addicted to the things that reaffirm to us who we are...
CARRIE COON Your past is not a dictionary; never let it define you.
MATSHONA DHLIWAYO who wants flowers when youre dead? nobody.
J.D. SALINGER Book lover n.
1. A person devoted to reading
2. One who would rather stay inside and read ...
DICTIONARY الجمعة ليس يوم عطلة أيها الدكتاتور. إنهض، استحِمّ، أصب�...
مريد البرغوثي 'The Devil's Dictionary' reads like a collection of great Twitter posts. And as people d...
VICTOR LAVALLE Facebook isn't helping you make new connections, Facebook doesn't develop new relationships,...
SEAN PARKER Facebook mistreats its users. Facebook is not your friend; it is a surveillance engine. For instance...
RICHARD STALLMAN [Sergio Garcia made his MLS debut, coming in for 20-year-old Brad Guzan between the posts.] This was...
HANS WESTERHOF I haven't sworn off Facebook. I'm on Facebook. There's a fan page on Facebook that I wil...
PATTON OSWALT If you can read this, thank a teacher. -Anonymous teacher.
ANONYMOUS TEACHER Self-respect can be a extension of your ego or a priceless virtue. -Anonymous.
ANONYMOUS Will I have to use a dictionary to read your book?" asked Mrs. Dodypol. "It depends," says I, "how m...
ALEXANDER THEROUX Just because your trained for something doesn't mean your prepared for it. -Anonymous.
ANONYMOUS Facebook is not your friend, it is a surveillance engine.
RICHARD STALLMAN DICTIONARY, n. A malevolent literary device for cramping the growth of a language and making it hard...
AMBROSE BIERCE Choose what you actually want to do rather than what you think will impress people on Facebook. Iron...
MEGHAN DAUM Just like Santa Claus, a farmer works all year on a commodity, and at the end of the year he gives i...
RONALD DAWSON Face your problems. Do not Facebook them!
MARIE MUHAMMAD Youre gonna grow up and marry some ice cream! Haha!
JEFF KINNEY We have experience this year. After getting it together last year, it was definitely easier this yea...
JACKIE BROUSSARD They're all getting a Christmas card from me this year,
MICHAEL MOORE The market is reacting to speculation over a Santa Claus rally that didn't happen. So players are go...
SERGIO GARCIA American journalists go for safe stories. They don't like controversy. They don't like to say, 'I wa...
ROBERT FISK They all believe in Santa. There is a Santa. You have to believe in Santa.
FLIP SAUNDERS I saw the LORD standing upon the altar: and he said, Smite the lintel of the door, that the posts ma...
BIBLE The Santa Cruz County Office of Education, in partnership with the Local Childcare Planning Council ...
DIANE SIRI Part of that patience is we're looking at the post more. And our posts are either finishing or getti...
AMY TAYLOR We received an anonymous email, we immediately looked into it, and when we saw some irregularities. ...
DAVE HUDSON I've been super impressed with what BuzzFeed has done on Facebook with inspiring list posts and ...
ZE FRANK Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It's like Facebook in real life.
ANONYMOUS Consumers this year just never got enamored with what they saw.
BRITT BEEMER Up men to your posts! Don't forget today that you are from old Virginia.
GEN. GEORGE PICKETT Up men to your posts! Don't forget today that you are from old Virginia.
GEORGE EDWARD PICKETT This sector saw about a 4 percent growth last year. I expect it to do about the same, between 3 to 4...
FRANK BADILLO You saw, I saw, everybody saw, everybody knows what kind of impact Barry has on the team, and he sho...
MOISES ALOU Slobodan Milosevic was just as smart as a five-year-old. Five-year-olds have an uncanny way of getti...
WESLEY CLARK For the next few years I'll spend half the year in London and half the year in LA and Santa Fe.
TOM FORD When your LinkedIn Profile doesn't sync with your Facebook persona, you are on a verge of sinking yo...
BERNARD KELVIN CLIVE We should do well. Ward lost a lot of seniors from last year and we split with Santa Fe Trail. Even ...
CHRIS WAGNER It is the subtle things in life that you have to look for because the deepest love speaks at a whisp...
SHANNON L. ALDER When we founded Facebook, we put a lot of hours into it and worked hard every day. 'The Social N...
DUSTIN MOSKOVITZ His swing is getting tighter, getting better, and he's getting back to a point that he's dominant, w...
FRED COUPLES If youre in an awkward position, feel comfortable enough to walk away.
BEAU MIRCHOFF Ye been oure lord, dooth with youre owene thyngRight as yow list.
CHAUCER We saw a lot of sunburn last year.
JOHN CONLEY A lot of people thought I wasn't ready last year. I think they saw (this year) that I could do a goo...
JEFF BATTLES Dear Mr. Webster: I have no words to thank you for your dictionary.
DIRCEU ALVES FERREIRA We believe this year will be worse because the virus is already established. Last year, Sacramento w...
KRISS COSTA We're not going to do a Facebook game aimed at 35-year old women about farming.
WARREN SPECTOR The only truly anonymous donor is the guy who knocks up your daughter.
LENNY BRUCE The only truly anonymous donor is the guy who knocks up your daughter
LENNY BRUCE If you're getting too large a refund back that means you've not done a good job of anticipating what...
DENNIS MEANS Dont try to go too fast. Learn your job. Dont ever talk until you know what youre talking about. If ...
SAM RAYBURN When you grow up, you gain experience and realise what youre capable of.
FRANCESCO TOTTI Facebook is mapping your friendships; divorce lawyers' new best friend.
LILY CHATTERJEE In 2005, we had photos with Santa (at the constable's office). People loved the concept of what we w...
LESA YOUNG We eventually found out that it was not a Bible, but a dictionary, because we happen to know somebod...
DAVID MIKKELSON I never saw this coming. We were coming off a good year and you knew that next year was going to get...
JAMEL GUYTON More and more, the things we do in real life will end up as Facebook posts. And while we may be cons...
BEN PARR When you’re anonymous, other opinions shrink next to the sounds in your own head.
DAN GROAT This is a small world, and Facebook make it even smaller.
REED NANDAWAN A Christian telling an atheist they're going to hell is as scary as a child telling an adult they're...
RICKY GERVAIS Every year, dads will dress up as Santa and try to surprise their kids by coming down the chimney, a...
KYLE DUNNIGAN After today, I'll bet Santa takes a shovel to the reindeer stalls to fill your stocking.
BILL WATTERSON A new year is another vantage opportunity to re-strategize the venture called life.
DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN) That does it," said Jace. "I'm going to get you a dictionary for Christmas this year."
"Why?" I...
CASSANDRA CLARE Getting these three wins puts a staple on the fact that this is a different team this year.
ALAN ZEMAITIS It's been a great year this year because we all got along. Last year, we weren't really getting alon...
JEAN BEST It's a little different, because last year I didn't throw too much. This year, I've been getting a l...
FAUSTO CARMONA The teams that have beat us out, Santa Margarita and Palm Desert, we beat both this year. Hopefully ...
BEN MURRAY I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married, they send over a lady in a ...
DICK MARTIN The emails and the tweets and the Facebook posts and the fan mail that we get from young people all ...
TREVOR DONOVAN You happily give Facebook terabytes of structured data about yourself, content with the implicit tra...
JOHN BATTELLE We're already getting ready for next year with lifting and postseason conditioning. By going 0-21, t...
CHARBEA HALLER Bad rumors about the danger of consumer products are getting increasingly commonplace, largely becau...
ERIC DEZENHALL They will remain anonymous. Hopefully, this will get [her] back on track.
LAURA DUDA Facebook is looking to help you distribute content to who you want to distribute to. Facebook gets a...
ROBERT SCOBLE It [this report] is less inflationary than what we saw earlier this year. Bottom line, things are de...
CHRISTOPHER LOW
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ANONYMOUS Anarchy - it's not the law, it's just a good idea.
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ANONYMOUS Lady Wisdom will be your close friend; and Brother Knowledge will be your pleasant companion.
ANONYMOUS When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.
ANONYMOUS It's never too late to have a happy childhood.
ANONYMOUS Happiness is in the heart, not in the circumstances.
ANONYMOUS Happiness is possible only when one is busy. The body must toil, the mind must be occupied, and the ...
ANONYMOUS Happiness is like jam. You can't spread even a little without getting some on yourself.
ANONYMOUS Happiness is the overcoming of not unknown obstacles toward a known goal.
ANONYMOUS Happiness seems to be the result of something happening — inactivity is not very exhilarating.
ANONYMOUS Happiness is not pleasure, it's victory.
ANONYMOUS Happiness is often the result of being too busy to be miserable.
ANONYMOUS Happiness is the art of never holding in your mind the memory of any unpleasant thing that has passe...
ANONYMOUS Happiness is not given but exchanged.
ANONYMOUS Happiness is not a matter of good fortune or worldly possessions. It's a mental attitude. It comes f...
ANONYMOUS If happiness could be brought, few of us could pay the price.
ANONYMOUS Happiness is like a butterfly. The more you chase it, the more it eludes you. But if you turn your a...
ANONYMOUS So live that your memories will be part of your happiness.
ANONYMOUS Happiness consists in activity; such as the constitution of our nature; it is a running stream, and ...
ANONYMOUS Happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have.
ANONYMOUS Happiness is not always measured in smiles.
ANONYMOUS Happiness lies in our own backyard, but it's probably well hidden by crabgrass.
ANONYMOUS Happiness comes through doors you didn't even know you left open.
ANONYMOUS The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.
ANONYMOUS Every tomorrow has two handles. We can take hold of it by the handle of anxiety, or by the handle ...
ANONYMOUS Faith is like electricity. You can't see it, but you can see the light.
ANONYMOUS To reprove small faults within due vehemence, is as absurd as if a man should take a great hammer to...
ANONYMOUS My friend, why have you drifted so far away? All motion is relative, maybe it is you who have moved ...
ANONYMOUS The happiest business in all the world is that of making friends, And no investment on the street pa...
ANONYMOUS Flattery looks like friendship, just like a wolf looks like a dog.
ANONYMOUS Remember that the faith that moves mountains always carries a pick.
ANONYMOUS When you laugh, be sure to laugh at what people do and not at what people are.
ANONYMOUS The sound of a kiss is much softer than that of a cannon - but it's echo lasts a great deal longer.
ANONYMOUS Religion is like a blind man looking in a black room for a black cat that isn't there, and finding i...
ANONYMOUS A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
ANONYMOUS When life throws a lemon at you, you throw it straight back at life and miss completely. That's my l...
ANONYMOUS Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in school.
ANONYMOUS Aging is a matter of mind. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.
ANONYMOUS I love the Lord, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy. Because he turned his ear to me, ...
ANONYMOUS تبسمك في وجه أخيك صدقة، وأمرك بالمعروف صدقة ونهيك عن ال...
ANONYMOUS The first men to be created and formed were called the Sorcerer of Fatal Laughter, the Sorcerer of N...
ANONYMOUS Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you...
ANONYMOUS And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
ANONYMOUS Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for ...
ANONYMOUS Anyone who is having troubles should pray. Anyone who is happy should sing praises. Anyone who is si...
ANONYMOUS I don't mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years.
ANONYMOUS Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won't be able to see us.
ANONYMOUS Store front sign: Entire store on sale, everything $1 or more.
ANONYMOUS If there is a "WILL", there are 500 relatives.
ANONYMOUS Why didn't Bruce Willis play the lead role in Titanic? He would have saved everyone.
ANONYMOUS I'm looking to buy a new boomerang, how can I throw the old one out?
ANONYMOUS My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!
ANONYMOUS If you can't find your better half, try finding your better two quarters.
ANONYMOUS Car service: If it ain't broke, we'll break it.
ANONYMOUS It's easy to stop smoking. I stopped smoking today with no problems. I also stopped yesterday too,...
ANONYMOUS One day my wife's credit card got stolen.. what a relief it was to find that the thief spends less t...
ANONYMOUS The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.
ANONYMOUS In my house dirty dishes are like rabbits, they keep multiplying.
ANONYMOUS How do you get a Kleenex to dance?
Put a little boogy in it!
ANONYMOUS For you, I would swim across the ocean. LOL, just kidding, there are sharks in there.
ANONYMOUS Why does Chuck Norris' calendar go directly from March 31 to April 2nd? Nobody fools Chuck Norris!
ANONYMOUS I am on a 20 day diet, so far I've lost 10 days.
ANONYMOUS Stop the earth from spinning, I want to get off!
ANONYMOUS If you don't like me, remember it's mind over matter. I don't mind and you don't matter.
ANONYMOUS The last thing that blew my mind was the wind.
ANONYMOUS Why do you always see lightning first and hear the thunder later? Because your eyes are in front of...
ANONYMOUS Instead of calling it the John I'm going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I ...
ANONYMOUS Stupidity is far more fascinating than intelligence, after all intelligence has it's limits.
ANONYMOUS Everyone should believe in something. I believe I should be on a beach drinking margaritas.
ANONYMOUS My kitchen cleaner says "for a clean kitchen" so I can't use it, mine is dirty.
ANONYMOUS Of course I'm in shape. Round is a shape.
ANONYMOUS Everything happening now happens because of everything that has happened before.
ANONYMOUS When there's a will, I want to be in it.
ANONYMOUS Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.
ANONYMOUS When is the longer way always better than the shorter one? When you're a taxi driver.
ANONYMOUS As long as everything is exactly the way I want it.. I'm totally flexible.
ANONYMOUS When the cop told me to give him my first name and last name I told him, 'Are you crazy? What's my ...
ANONYMOUS Always be yourself, unless you can be a unicorn. Then always be a unicorn.
ANONYMOUS What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?
Polaroids.
ANONYMOUS I'm going to stand outside, so if anybody asks for me, I'm outstanding.
ANONYMOUS Oh I'm sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?
ANONYMOUS I'm multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time.
ANONYMOUS Think you're smart? Come over and help me with my homework.
ANONYMOUS Never wrestle with a pig. You'll both get dirty, and the pig likes it.
ANONYMOUS Newspaper Ad: Parachute for sale, used once, never opened!!
ANONYMOUS I bet you anything that I can stop gambling right now.
ANONYMOUS My doctor prescribed laughter as the most efficient medicine. Unfortunately the pharmacist said too ...
ANONYMOUS Finding a treasure is like working on algebra equations, all you have to do is find the X.
ANONYMOUS I'm trying to think how I can think of what I want to think.
ANONYMOUS People think.....
I'm skinny, but I'm really chunky.
I'm cheap, but I'm really thrifty. ANONYMOUS I looked into my wallet and it was empty, I looked through all my pockets and they were all empty. T...
ANONYMOUS I lost control. Offering reward to anyone who finds it.
ANONYMOUS Chuck Norris is so amazing he can:
Light ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.<...
ANONYMOUS Have you ever looked at someone and knew the wheel was turning, but the hamster fell off long time a...
ANONYMOUS He grabbed her hand and held it tightly, and she thought, "he loves me!" And he thought, "wow this ...
ANONYMOUS I'm not weird, I'm just limited edition.
ANONYMOUS I walk around like everything is fine, but deep down inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.
ANONYMOUS Stop! You're under arrest for being too sexy. Your sentence is an eternity inside my heart.
ANONYMOUS Marriage is like a walk in the park... Jurrasic Park.
ANONYMOUS It's 11PM, do you know where your pants are?
ANONYMOUS Son, employees are like mules. Some you stand in front of and coax them along with a carrot. Some yo...
ANONYMOUS Don't believe everything fortune cookies tells you. Just because they're sweet doesn't mean they're...
ANONYMOUS Pleasing everyone, that's impossible. Making everyone angry, piece of cake!
ANONYMOUS I always carry a knife in my purse, just in case we're having cake.
ANONYMOUS How do I like my eggs? In a cake.
ANONYMOUS My grandpa's car is so old; when he parked in front of a museum, they towed his car inside the museu...
ANONYMOUS Birthdays are nature's way of feeding us cake.
ANONYMOUS What do you mean, my birth certificate expired?
ANONYMOUS I am one step away from being rich, all I need now is money.
ANONYMOUS There was a robot invented in China that catches thieves. In Australia it caught 10 thieves, in Ame...
ANONYMOUS I'm a Victoria's Secret model. It's such a secret, not even Victoria knows.
ANONYMOUS How is a poor man a lot like a rich man? They both have an iPhone.
ANONYMOUS Fart when someone hugs you, it makes them feel strong.
ANONYMOUS Smile while you still have teeth.
ANONYMOUS Have some patience, I'm screwing things up as fast as possible.
ANONYMOUS After many years of studying my Geography book I finally know by heart that Australia is on page 23.
ANONYMOUS Funny sign at health spa: Fresh 10,000 year old mud for sale.
ANONYMOUS I always mean what I say, I don't always mean to say it out loud, but I always mean it.
ANONYMOUS I love that cute thing you do when you stop texting me for hours, it's adorable.
ANONYMOUS True love is truly amazing only when it's truly true.
ANONYMOUS Being married means mostly shouting "What?" from other rooms.
ANONYMOUS Is it good if a blow dryer blows?
ANONYMOUS Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
ANONYMOUS Never test how deep the water is with both feet.
ANONYMOUS Never judge a book by it's movie
ANONYMOUS I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side, my legs for always supporting me, and my ...
ANONYMOUS When you have a hammer in your hand everything around you starts looking like a nail.
ANONYMOUS Sometimes I pretend to be normal, but it gets boring so I go back to being myself.
ANONYMOUS If you didn't see it with your own eyes, or hear it with your own ears, don't invent it with your sm...
ANONYMOUS My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I'd have to do.
ANONYMOUS I know that I am stupid but when I look around me I feel a lot better.
ANONYMOUS Officer: I had a feeling I'd catch someone speeding here. Driver: I know, that's why I came as fast...
ANONYMOUS I did a push-up today. Well actually I fell down, but I had to use my arms to get back up, so close ...
ANONYMOUS Today I saw something through a store window that was truly stunning, beautiful and sexy. I wanted ...
ANONYMOUS Today was once tomorrow, and tomorrow will be today soon.
ANONYMOUS Silence is golden. Too bad nobody is buying.
ANONYMOUS I'm not really a control freak, but... can I show the right way to do that?
ANONYMOUS A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand.
ANONYMOUS I once finished first on my running team, then the coach asked me where everyone else is.
ANONYMOUS Single and ready to get nervous around anyone I find attractive.
ANONYMOUS Why is the sky blue? Sure there is an explanation, but lets just be thankful it's not red!
ANONYMOUS Just because I can't sing doesn't mean that I won't sing.
ANONYMOUS Whenever I am sad I go to my favorite place... the fridge.
ANONYMOUS I'm not frowning, I'm just smiling upside down.
ANONYMOUS The only problem with golf is that the slow people are always in front of you and the fast people al...
ANONYMOUS I can make the doorbell ring any time I want, all I have to do is go to the bathroom.
ANONYMOUS The amount of time it takes for a minute to go by is proportionally dependent with the distance to t...
ANONYMOUS Bathroom sign above toilet: It's like basketball, the basket is bigger than the ball! Learn to sco...
ANONYMOUS I can't wait for that to never happen.
ANONYMOUS I liked the movie Titanic, my favorite character was the iceberg.
ANONYMOUS Sports top moment: to score a goal but miss in the re-play.
ANONYMOUS Honesty top moment: to be a cop and give yourself a ticket for going through a red light.
ANONYMOUS Rudeness top moment: to scare an ostrich on an asphalt street.
ANONYMOUS I'm so sorry about what I said when I was hungry.
ANONYMOUS Always be positive. *Trips down the stairs* Whew, I got down those stairs fast.
ANONYMOUS Beauty is mysterious as well as terrible.
ANONYMOUS An expert is a person who has made every possible mistake in a small field of study.
ANONYMOUS My taste in music ranges from "You've gotta listen to this" to "I know, please don't judge me."
ANONYMOUS Just because it's called makeup, it doesn't mean it should make up 100% of your face.
ANONYMOUS You can't please everyone, you're not a Nutella jar.
ANONYMOUS Some things are better left unsaid, which I certainly realize, right after I say them.
ANONYMOUS It's better to shut up and give the impression that you're stupid than to say something and erase al...
ANONYMOUS If we ever travel far in the universe to another planet with intelligent life, let's just make patte...
ANONYMOUS Whenever you feel stupid, remember that there are people outside searching for Pokemon.
ANONYMOUS