It's 11PM, do you know where your pants are?

What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?
Polaroids.

When is yelling during a robbery a bad idea? When you have gold teeth.

What do you mean, my birth certificate expired?

How is a poor man a lot like a rich man? They both have an iPhone.

Isn't it funny that the number 2 pencil is the most popular?