FastSaying

Marital Freedom: The liberty that allows a husband to do exactly that which his wife pleases.


Anonymous

  Email Quote to Friends   Link to Quote   Create Short URL  Publish Text About This Quote   Share on Facebook, Twitter, and more
  See Recommended Quotes For You

Related

Marital Freedom: The liberty that allows a husband to do exactly that which his wife pleases.
SOURCE UNKNOWN Man is free; yet we must not suppose that he is at liberty to do everything he pleases, for he becom...
GIACOMO CASANOVA Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases.
MILTON BERLE The soul of a journey is liberty, perfect liberty, to think, feel, do just as one pleases
WILLIAM HAZLITT The wife carries the husband on her face; the husband carries the wife on his clothes.
VIKRANT PARSAI All I ever did to that apartment was hang fifty yards of yellow theatrical silk across the bedroom w...
JOAN DIDION We can never make proper goodbyes. It was your last ride in a Checker cab and you had no warning. It...
COLSON WHITEHEAD We can play now… just do that and that little piece of kinky thoughts… few perverts add and you ...
DEYTH BANGER I refuse to lose my man to a women that pleases him sexually. As his wife, its my duty to make him c...
NERISSA IRVING I refuse to lose my man to a women that pleases him sexual. As his wife, its my duty to make him cum...
NERISSA IRVING The reason why couples divorce is because one person wants the freedom to do as he or she pleases an...
LORRIN L. LEE He allows his actors freedom to explore,
MARIA BELLO The husband and wife are one, and that one is the husband.
WILLIAM BLACKSTONE It's a wise husband who will buy his wife such fine china that she won't trust him to wash the dishe...
HONORE DE BALZAC We have communion with Christ in His thoughts, views, and purposes; for His thoughts are our thought...
CHARLES SPURGEON Composed that monstrous animal a husband and wife.
HENRY FIELDING Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see t...
THE BIBLE College is that bright interlude of freedom a young man has between subjection to his mother and sub...
UNKNOWN Each day I will accomplish one thing on my to do list.
LAILAH GIFTY AKITA A good wife is one who serves her husband in the morning like a mother does, loves him in the day li...
CHANAKYA A diplomatic husband said to his wife, "How do you expect me to remember your birthday when you neve...
UNKNOWN The ideal husband understands every word his wife doesn’t say.
ALFRED HITCHCOCK But I do believe that a woman's truest place is in a home, with a husband and with children, and wit...
LUCY STONE Every mother generally hopes that her daughter will snag a better husband than she managed to do... ...
SOURCE UNKNOWN Every mother generally hopes that her daughter will snag a better husband than she managed to do...b...
ANONYMOUS The only thing that holds a marriage together is the husband being big enough to keep his mouth shut...
ARCHIE BUNKER But I do believe that a woman's truest place is in a home, with a husband and with children, and...
LUCY STONE Marital problems? You don't need a new wife, you need a new life!
UNKNOWN The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
VOLTAIRE The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
VOLTAIRE (FRANçOIS-MARIE AROUET) When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income.
CHI CHI RODRIGUEZ When I tried to do a search for marital advise on Google, it tried to finish my sentence for me, jus...
ANONYMOUS The relationship between a man & his wife should never be that of head & tail or master & servant,bu...
DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN) A dress that zips up the back will bring a husband and wife together.
JAMES H. BOREN The two men had a conversation. Brief, cryptic, to the point. As though they had exchanged numbers a...
ARUNDHATI ROY You are the most beautiful creature on this earth.", said the blind husband to his wife.
PARUL AGRAWAL Women's liberationists spread the word that the only peaceful family is one in which either the wife...
R. EMMETT TYELL A smart husband buys his wife very fine china so she won't trust him to wash it.
UNKNOWN It is not good for a husband to talk of pretty girls in front of his wife.
VIKRANT PARSAI My grandfather was a man, when he talked about freedom, his attitude was really interesting. His vie...
CLARENCE THOMAS Bear with me as a father to his son, as a friend to a friend, and as a husband to his wife, O Lord.
BHAGAVAD GITA The bitterest creature under heaven is the wife who discovers that her husband's bravery is only...
PEARL S. BUCK Liberty is the right to choose, freedom is the result of that choice.
SOURCE UNKNOWN And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: /...
BIBLE A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.
ERMA BOMBECK Theologians talk about a prevenient grace that precedes grace itself and allows us to accept it. I t...
MARILYNNE ROBINSON I believe each individual is naturally entitled to do as he pleases with himself and the fruit of hi...
ABRAHAM LINCOLN Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.
BIBLE I could be such a wonderful wife to another wife’s husband.
JUDITH VIORST Wherever the citizen becomes indifferent to his fellows, so will the husband be to his wife, and the...
KARL WILHELM VON HUMBOLDT Wherever the citizen becomes indifferent to his fellows, so will the husband be to his wife, and the...
WILHELM VON HUMBOLDT If you want to see God do wonders in your marriage, start praising your spouse. Start appreciating a...
JOEL OSTEEN Stairs to climb are difficult it takes time and effort and going down is easies job... what do I mea...
DEYTH BANGER A marriage license should not be viewed as a license for a husband to forcibly rape his wife with im...
SOL WACHTLER Food Allergies Are Not Due to Food, Rather Are Due to the Constant Contamination of That Food That Y...
THEHEALTHFOODGURU There are two kinds of marriages -- where the husband quotes the wife and where the wife quotes the ...
CLIFFORD ODETS When we say that the persistence of competition is ensured by fate, we mean that individual freedom ...
JOHN BATES CLARK Freedom is not the right to do as you please, but the liberty to do as you ought.
UNKNOWN Any judge who allows an adulterer with a live-in girlfriend to terminate the life of his wife should...
PHYLLIS SCHLAFLY To say that God is sovereign is to declare that He is the Almighty, the Possessor of all power in He...
ARTHUR W. PINK This man is a dedicated husband, he is dedicated to his wife, he is dedicated to his daughters, ... ...
ROSS PEROT That least pleases us which is most urged on us.
UNKNOWN I wanted Cathy and Irving to actually say 'I do' and be pronounced husband and wife on Feb. ...
CATHY GUISEWITE A husband should not insult his wife publicly, at parties. He should insult her in the privacy of th...
JAMES THURBER Can the believing husband in Heaven be happy with his unbelieving wife in Hell? Can the believing f...
JONATHAN EDWARDS Can the believing husband in Heaven be happy with his unbelieving wife in Hell? Can the believing fa...
JONATHAN EDWARDS there was a soldier in the next room living with his wife and he would soon be going over there to p...
CHARLES BUKOWSKI Since you are so well matched, and so much alike - a very bad wife, and a very bad husband - I wonde...
MARCUS AURELIUS A good husband makes a good wife.
JOHN FLORIO A good wife makes a good husband
HAROLD MACMILLAN A good husband makes a good wife
ROBERT BURTON No man has a right to do what he pleases, except when he pleases to do right.
CHARLES SIMMONS The' feller that sets on a store box with his mouth full of scrap terbacker while his wife is at hom...
KIN HUBBARD Do a favor of yourself, watch what you like, do what you like, and be a person not what your wife/hu...
DEYTH BANGER That is, the wife must care for what the husband cares for if he is to remain resolute.
MOTHER JONES If you feel your wife does not understand you, i suggest you try understanding her
SOTONYE ANGA The lasting relationship between a couple even after a couple of years of their marriage, is only a ...
ANUJ SOMANY No form letters are sent out from this office. No husband was ever Section Three, Paragraph II-a, to...
ANNA ROSENBERG HOFFMAN An educational method that shall have liberty as its basis must intervene to help the child to a con...
MARIA MONTESSORI To talk about liberty and freedom is nice, lovely, but the important thing is to allow people to act...
HASSAN NASRALLAH After you play husband and wife on camera multiple times, it becomes easy to be husband and wife off...
AMY YASBECK That wife is an enemy to her husband who is given in marriage against her will.
UNKNOWN I have a recurring role on 'Person of Interest,' which is my husband's show. I play the ...
CARRIE PRESTON All that a husband or wife really wants is to be pitied a little, praised a little, and appreciated ...
OLIVER GOLDSMITH All that a husband or wife really wants is to be pitied a little, praised a little, and appreciated ...
OLIVER GOLDSMITH Yoga allows you to find a new kind of freedom that you may not have known even existed.
B.K.S. IYENGAR I know one husband and wife who, whatever the official reasons given to the court for the break up o...
VERA BRITTAIN In modern usage a cuckold is the husband of an unfaithful wife - a far nastier and more humiliating ...
ANNE FAUSTO Millions of people acknowledge today that they do not know the meaning of life.
JAMES C. DOBSON There is only one kind of freedom and that's individual liberty. Our lives come from our creator...
RON PAUL For every marriage then is best in tune, When that the wife is May, the husband June.
ROWLAND WATKYNS (WATKINS) We are a nation of immigrants, a quilt of many colors, and we've managed over more than two cent...
JAY PARINI To be a husband or a wife is not just a solemnized or authenticated title. It is a role that, for al...
JECON B. NADELA عادت الزوجة تسأله : لماذا تتعامل معي بالرموز ومع غيري ب�...
أحمد بهجت Doing what we please is not freedom is not liberty; rather it is the abuse of true liberty and freed...
CARDINAL HAYES I could be such a wonderful wife to another wife’s husband.
JUDITH VIORST When you are true to yourself, you will find yourself more easily able to pursue the things that mat...
ELIZABETH ALRAUNE In the husband wisedome, in the wife gentlenesse.
GEORGE HERBERT The only thing that holds a marriage together is the husband being big enough to step back and see w...
ARCHIE BUNKER After marriage, a woman's sight becomes so keen that she can see right through her husband without l...
HELEN ROWLAND

More Anonymous

Animals are human just like us in a different shape and form so do not abuse them.
ANONYMOUS ANONYMOUS You don't have to touch someone to love them, It's not in the kiss, It's in the times you don't kiss...
ANONYMOUS ANONYMOUS Glory be to Him who changes others and remains Himself unchanged!
ANONYMOUS Beloved, let us love one another, because love is from God; everyone one who loves is born of God an...
ANONYMOUS May the God who gives endurance and encouragement
give you a spirit of unity among yourselves ...
ANONYMOUS Some men are born with cold feet; some acquire cold feet; and some have cold feet thrust upon them.
ANONYMOUS Epperson's law: When a man says it's a silly, childish game, it's probably something his wife can be...
ANONYMOUS Marriage is like a violin. After the music is over, you still have the strings.
ANONYMOUS Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it's not so hot.
ANONYMOUS Marriage is like a box of chocolates. You have to squeeze a few bottoms to make sure you like what y...
ANONYMOUS Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. Ergo...
ANONYMOUS Marriage is a romance in which the hero dies in the first chapter.
ANONYMOUS It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks. She's not marrying the best man.
ANONYMOUS He believes that marriage and a career don't mix. So after the wedding he plans to quit his job.
ANONYMOUS All marriages are happy. It's living together afterwards that is difficult.
ANONYMOUS A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother why the bride changed her mind. "What do yo...
ANONYMOUS A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it really know what goes in it.
ANONYMOUS Every mother generally hopes that her daughter will snag a better husband than she managed to do...b...
ANONYMOUS Compromise: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her have her o...
ANONYMOUS Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family d...
ANONYMOUS The most expensive wedding usually ends with the quickest divorce.
ANONYMOUS Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
ANONYMOUS Leadership is the ability to hide your panic from others.
ANONYMOUS An expert knows all the answers -- if you ask the right questions.
ANONYMOUS Time cuts down all, Both great and small.
ANONYMOUS Few cases of eyestrain have been developed by looking on the bright side of things.
ANONYMOUS Be an optimist -- at least until they start moving animals in pairs to Cape Canaveral.
ANONYMOUS Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation leans on the doorbell. •Anonymous Many an o...
ANONYMOUS Some of the smallest situations are the biggest to some people.
ANONYMOUS Man endures pain as an undeserved punishment; woman accepts it as a natural heritage.
ANONYMOUS Defeat may test you; it need not stop you. If at first you don't succeed, try another way. For eve...
ANONYMOUS Anarchy - it's not the law, it's just a good idea.
ANONYMOUS Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.
ANONYMOUS A friend is one to whom you can pour out the contents of your heart, chaff and grain alike. Knowin...
ANONYMOUS Friendship is a living thing that lasts only as long as it is nourished with kindness, empathy and u...
ANONYMOUS She is clothed in strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.
ANONYMOUS many women do noble things, but you surpass them all. charm is deceptive, beauty is fleeting; but a ...
ANONYMOUS Lady Wisdom will be your close friend; and Brother Knowledge will be your pleasant companion.
ANONYMOUS When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.
ANONYMOUS It's never too late to have a happy childhood.
ANONYMOUS Happiness is in the heart, not in the circumstances.
ANONYMOUS Happiness is possible only when one is busy. The body must toil, the mind must be occupied, and the ...
ANONYMOUS Happiness is like jam. You can't spread even a little without getting some on yourself.
ANONYMOUS Happiness is the overcoming of not unknown obstacles toward a known goal.
ANONYMOUS Happiness seems to be the result of something happening — inactivity is not very exhilarating.
ANONYMOUS Happiness is not pleasure, it's victory.
ANONYMOUS Happiness is often the result of being too busy to be miserable.
ANONYMOUS Happiness is the art of never holding in your mind the memory of any unpleasant thing that has passe...
ANONYMOUS Happiness is not given but exchanged.
ANONYMOUS Happiness is not a matter of good fortune or worldly possessions. It's a mental attitude. It comes f...
ANONYMOUS If happiness could be brought, few of us could pay the price.
ANONYMOUS Happiness is like a butterfly. The more you chase it, the more it eludes you. But if you turn your a...
ANONYMOUS So live that your memories will be part of your happiness.
ANONYMOUS Happiness consists in activity; such as the constitution of our nature; it is a running stream, and ...
ANONYMOUS Happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have.
ANONYMOUS Happiness is not always measured in smiles.
ANONYMOUS Happiness lies in our own backyard, but it's probably well hidden by crabgrass.
ANONYMOUS Happiness comes through doors you didn't even know you left open.
ANONYMOUS The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.
ANONYMOUS Every tomorrow has two handles. We can take hold of it by the handle of anxiety, or by the handle ...
ANONYMOUS Faith is like electricity. You can't see it, but you can see the light.
ANONYMOUS To reprove small faults within due vehemence, is as absurd as if a man should take a great hammer to...
ANONYMOUS My friend, why have you drifted so far away? All motion is relative, maybe it is you who have moved ...
ANONYMOUS The happiest business in all the world is that of making friends, And no investment on the street pa...
ANONYMOUS Flattery looks like friendship, just like a wolf looks like a dog.
ANONYMOUS Remember that the faith that moves mountains always carries a pick.
ANONYMOUS When you laugh, be sure to laugh at what people do and not at what people are.
ANONYMOUS The sound of a kiss is much softer than that of a cannon - but it's echo lasts a great deal longer.
ANONYMOUS Religion is like a blind man looking in a black room for a black cat that isn't there, and finding i...
ANONYMOUS A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
ANONYMOUS When life throws a lemon at you, you throw it straight back at life and miss completely. That's my l...
ANONYMOUS Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in school.
ANONYMOUS Aging is a matter of mind. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.
ANONYMOUS I love the Lord, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy. Because he turned his ear to me, ...
ANONYMOUS تبسمك في وجه أخيك صدقة، وأمرك بالمعروف صدقة ونهيك عن ال...
ANONYMOUS The first men to be created and formed were called the Sorcerer of Fatal Laughter, the Sorcerer of N...
ANONYMOUS Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you...
ANONYMOUS And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
ANONYMOUS Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for ...
ANONYMOUS Anyone who is having troubles should pray. Anyone who is happy should sing praises. Anyone who is si...
ANONYMOUS I don't mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years.
ANONYMOUS Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won't be able to see us.
ANONYMOUS Store front sign: Entire store on sale, everything $1 or more.
ANONYMOUS If there is a "WILL", there are 500 relatives.
ANONYMOUS Why didn't Bruce Willis play the lead role in Titanic? He would have saved everyone.
ANONYMOUS I'm looking to buy a new boomerang, how can I throw the old one out?
ANONYMOUS My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!
ANONYMOUS If you can't find your better half, try finding your better two quarters.
ANONYMOUS Car service: If it ain't broke, we'll break it.
ANONYMOUS It's easy to stop smoking. I stopped smoking today with no problems. I also stopped yesterday too,...
ANONYMOUS One day my wife's credit card got stolen.. what a relief it was to find that the thief spends less t...
ANONYMOUS The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.
ANONYMOUS In my house dirty dishes are like rabbits, they keep multiplying.
ANONYMOUS How do you get a Kleenex to dance?
Put a little boogy in it!
ANONYMOUS For you, I would swim across the ocean. LOL, just kidding, there are sharks in there.
ANONYMOUS Why does Chuck Norris' calendar go directly from March 31 to April 2nd? Nobody fools Chuck Norris!
ANONYMOUS I am on a 20 day diet, so far I've lost 10 days.
ANONYMOUS Stop the earth from spinning, I want to get off!
ANONYMOUS If you don't like me, remember it's mind over matter. I don't mind and you don't matter.
ANONYMOUS The last thing that blew my mind was the wind.
ANONYMOUS Why do you always see lightning first and hear the thunder later? Because your eyes are in front of...
ANONYMOUS Instead of calling it the John I'm going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I ...
ANONYMOUS Stupidity is far more fascinating than intelligence, after all intelligence has it's limits.
ANONYMOUS Everyone should believe in something. I believe I should be on a beach drinking margaritas.
ANONYMOUS My kitchen cleaner says "for a clean kitchen" so I can't use it, mine is dirty.
ANONYMOUS Of course I'm in shape. Round is a shape.
ANONYMOUS Everything happening now happens because of everything that has happened before.
ANONYMOUS When there's a will, I want to be in it.
ANONYMOUS Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.
ANONYMOUS When is the longer way always better than the shorter one? When you're a taxi driver.
ANONYMOUS As long as everything is exactly the way I want it.. I'm totally flexible.
ANONYMOUS When the cop told me to give him my first name and last name I told him, 'Are you crazy? What's my ...
ANONYMOUS Always be yourself, unless you can be a unicorn. Then always be a unicorn.
ANONYMOUS What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?
Polaroids.
ANONYMOUS I'm going to stand outside, so if anybody asks for me, I'm outstanding.
ANONYMOUS Oh I'm sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?
ANONYMOUS I'm multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time.
ANONYMOUS Think you're smart? Come over and help me with my homework.
ANONYMOUS Never wrestle with a pig. You'll both get dirty, and the pig likes it.
ANONYMOUS Newspaper Ad: Parachute for sale, used once, never opened!!
ANONYMOUS I bet you anything that I can stop gambling right now.
ANONYMOUS My doctor prescribed laughter as the most efficient medicine. Unfortunately the pharmacist said too ...
ANONYMOUS Finding a treasure is like working on algebra equations, all you have to do is find the X.
ANONYMOUS I'm trying to think how I can think of what I want to think.
ANONYMOUS People think.....
I'm skinny, but I'm really chunky.
I'm cheap, but I'm really thrifty. ANONYMOUS I looked into my wallet and it was empty, I looked through all my pockets and they were all empty. T...
ANONYMOUS I lost control. Offering reward to anyone who finds it.
ANONYMOUS Chuck Norris is so amazing he can:

Light ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.<...
ANONYMOUS Have you ever looked at someone and knew the wheel was turning, but the hamster fell off long time a...
ANONYMOUS He grabbed her hand and held it tightly, and she thought, "he loves me!" And he thought, "wow this ...
ANONYMOUS I'm not weird, I'm just limited edition.
ANONYMOUS I walk around like everything is fine, but deep down inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.
ANONYMOUS Stop! You're under arrest for being too sexy. Your sentence is an eternity inside my heart.
ANONYMOUS Marriage is like a walk in the park... Jurrasic Park.
ANONYMOUS It's 11PM, do you know where your pants are?
ANONYMOUS Son, employees are like mules. Some you stand in front of and coax them along with a carrot. Some yo...
ANONYMOUS Don't believe everything fortune cookies tells you. Just because they're sweet doesn't mean they're...
ANONYMOUS Pleasing everyone, that's impossible. Making everyone angry, piece of cake!
ANONYMOUS I always carry a knife in my purse, just in case we're having cake.
ANONYMOUS How do I like my eggs? In a cake.
ANONYMOUS My grandpa's car is so old; when he parked in front of a museum, they towed his car inside the museu...
ANONYMOUS Birthdays are nature's way of feeding us cake.
ANONYMOUS What do you mean, my birth certificate expired?
ANONYMOUS I am one step away from being rich, all I need now is money.
ANONYMOUS There was a robot invented in China that catches thieves. In Australia it caught 10 thieves, in Ame...
ANONYMOUS I'm a Victoria's Secret model. It's such a secret, not even Victoria knows.
ANONYMOUS How is a poor man a lot like a rich man? They both have an iPhone.
ANONYMOUS Fart when someone hugs you, it makes them feel strong.
ANONYMOUS Smile while you still have teeth.
ANONYMOUS Have some patience, I'm screwing things up as fast as possible.
ANONYMOUS After many years of studying my Geography book I finally know by heart that Australia is on page 23.
ANONYMOUS Funny sign at health spa: Fresh 10,000 year old mud for sale.
ANONYMOUS I always mean what I say, I don't always mean to say it out loud, but I always mean it.
ANONYMOUS I love that cute thing you do when you stop texting me for hours, it's adorable.
ANONYMOUS True love is truly amazing only when it's truly true.
ANONYMOUS Being married means mostly shouting "What?" from other rooms.
ANONYMOUS Is it good if a blow dryer blows?
ANONYMOUS Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
ANONYMOUS Never test how deep the water is with both feet.
ANONYMOUS Never judge a book by it's movie
ANONYMOUS I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side, my legs for always supporting me, and my ...
ANONYMOUS When you have a hammer in your hand everything around you starts looking like a nail.
ANONYMOUS Sometimes I pretend to be normal, but it gets boring so I go back to being myself.
ANONYMOUS If you didn't see it with your own eyes, or hear it with your own ears, don't invent it with your sm...
ANONYMOUS My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I'd have to do.
ANONYMOUS I know that I am stupid but when I look around me I feel a lot better.
ANONYMOUS Officer: I had a feeling I'd catch someone speeding here. Driver: I know, that's why I came as fast...
ANONYMOUS I did a push-up today. Well actually I fell down, but I had to use my arms to get back up, so close ...
ANONYMOUS Today I saw something through a store window that was truly stunning, beautiful and sexy. I wanted ...
ANONYMOUS Today was once tomorrow, and tomorrow will be today soon.
ANONYMOUS Silence is golden. Too bad nobody is buying.
ANONYMOUS I'm not really a control freak, but... can I show the right way to do that?
ANONYMOUS A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand.
ANONYMOUS I once finished first on my running team, then the coach asked me where everyone else is.
ANONYMOUS Single and ready to get nervous around anyone I find attractive.
ANONYMOUS Why is the sky blue? Sure there is an explanation, but lets just be thankful it's not red!
ANONYMOUS Just because I can't sing doesn't mean that I won't sing.
ANONYMOUS Whenever I am sad I go to my favorite place... the fridge.
ANONYMOUS I'm not frowning, I'm just smiling upside down.
ANONYMOUS The only problem with golf is that the slow people are always in front of you and the fast people al...
ANONYMOUS I can make the doorbell ring any time I want, all I have to do is go to the bathroom.
ANONYMOUS The amount of time it takes for a minute to go by is proportionally dependent with the distance to t...
ANONYMOUS Bathroom sign above toilet: It's like basketball, the basket is bigger than the ball! Learn to sco...
ANONYMOUS I can't wait for that to never happen.
ANONYMOUS I liked the movie Titanic, my favorite character was the iceberg.
ANONYMOUS Sports top moment: to score a goal but miss in the re-play.
ANONYMOUS Honesty top moment: to be a cop and give yourself a ticket for going through a red light.
ANONYMOUS Rudeness top moment: to scare an ostrich on an asphalt street.
ANONYMOUS I'm so sorry about what I said when I was hungry.
ANONYMOUS Always be positive. *Trips down the stairs* Whew, I got down those stairs fast.
ANONYMOUS Beauty is mysterious as well as terrible.
ANONYMOUS An expert is a person who has made every possible mistake in a small field of study.
ANONYMOUS My taste in music ranges from "You've gotta listen to this" to "I know, please don't judge me."
ANONYMOUS Just because it's called makeup, it doesn't mean it should make up 100% of your face.
ANONYMOUS You can't please everyone, you're not a Nutella jar.
ANONYMOUS Some things are better left unsaid, which I certainly realize, right after I say them.
ANONYMOUS It's better to shut up and give the impression that you're stupid than to say something and erase al...
ANONYMOUS If we ever travel far in the universe to another planet with intelligent life, let's just make patte...
ANONYMOUS Whenever you feel stupid, remember that there are people outside searching for Pokemon.
ANONYMOUS Ideas don't stay in some minds very long because they don't like solitary confinement.
ANONYMOUS