After many years of studying my Geography book I finally know by heart that Australia is on page 23.

Officer: I had a feeling I'd catch someone speeding here. Driver: I know, that's why I came as fast as I could!

You know your driving is really terrible when your GPS says 'After 300 feet, stop and let me out!'

I'm sorry officer but I can't stop speeding... the earth is spinning way over the speed limit in this zone.

You know the potholes on a road are bad when they assign lifeguards to them, in case anybody falls inside.

I know that I am stupid but when I look around me I feel a lot better.