I once finished first on my running team, then the coach asked me where everyone else is.

For this New Year's day, weather forecasters are warning of an incoming storm of hugs and kisses all over the planet... we advise closing your umbrella and opening your heart.

Honesty top moment: to be a cop and give yourself a ticket for going through a red light.

Getting on a plane, I told the ticket lady, 'Send one of my bags to New York, one to Los Angeles, and one to Miami.' She said, 'We can't do that!' I told her, 'You did it last week!'

I called the restaurant and I asked them if they take orders, when they said they do, I told them 'run outside naked!'

I believe there should be a better way to start each day... instead of waking up every morning.