[TOUGH ON HIMSELF: Tampa native Woody Austin never has been one to cut himself a break. In fact, he can sometimes be his own worst enemy. And he said so recently when he was defending his Buick Championship title.] I've always said all along: I've got as much talent as anybody, ... I can hit any shot, but I've got a 2-cent brain. I don't have the mental (side of golf). I just wasn't given the mental ability to play this game as well as my physical part, and that's always held me back. But I'm not afraid to admit it. Some guys are afraid to admit it, but I'm not.
Woody Austin
Related I immediately said to myself Ive got to do something, ... Ive got to help as many as I can. I am not... AMY COLLINS Im not a politician and my other habits are good. Ive no enemys to reward, nor friends to sponge. Bu... ARTEMUS WARD Like anybody, I would like to live a long life. Longevity has its place. But Im not concerned about ... MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR. I believe he's his own worst enemy at times, ... I don't know if there's a guy on this team who work... BRETT FAVRE Looks like my baby dont live here no more...thats alright, ive still got my guitar..................... JIMI HENDRIX ive loved an ive falllen but yet until now ive always gotten back up but ur blow to the heart has su... AMBER FAITH HUN I might not have done it had he been really swinging the bat well, but sometimes you need a mental b... PHIL GARNER But the man who is not afraid to admit everything that he sees to be wrong with himself, and yet rec... THOMAS MERTON I always felt Harrison Ford looked like he's about to shoot himself when he's carrying his o... MORTEN TYLDUM He's been a thrill to have. Sometimes guys say, 'well, it's time for me to move on with my life,' bu... CARL LANCASTER [Clark] has great stuff, but sometimes he can be his worst enemy. He beats up on himself. He has to ... JASON BELL An infinite God can give all of Himself to each of His children. He does not distribute Himself that... A. W. TOZER An infinite God can give all of Himself to each of His children. He does not distribute Himself that... AIDEN WILSON TOZER An infinite God can give all of Himself to each of His children. He does not distribute Himself that... A.W. TOZER As a mother, it is hard when you see your child in so much pain. I want to hold him in my arms, but ... ELAINE THOMAS He's definitely on the right track. It seems like Tiger got his focus and determination back this ye... LUKE DONALD take it all the way down, but halfway through [Mientkiewicz] said he wanted to finish it off himself... DAVID WRIGHT I have been presented with roles with demand not just a physical ability but mental disciplines as w... MICHELLE YEOH One thing about him is he has always stayed in shape so he can do these kinds of things. Not many pl... SAM WYCHE Oh, what a misfortune is mine, cried Bradley, breaking off to wipe the starting perspiration from hi... CHARLES DICKENS This is too much reality for a Friday. AS GOOD AS IT GETS Jermaine came to make many choices in his life that simply broke our hearts because we knew that he ... DANIEL PELLETIER Jaenelle opened her mouth, closed it, and finally said timidly, “Do you think, when I’m grown up... ANNE BISHOP That was' one time when my technique absolutely deserted me, I must admit. There was a wax face ... FAY WRAY He and I had been standing in as the first base coaches during the biggest part of the game. It was ... DEE SMITH It may not look like it, but he has an unbelievable inner toughness. It's not physical toughness whe... FRED HILL I have to admit, I sometimes wonder how much more successful I would have been as a coach had it not... LOU HOLTZ I've never seen a player grow as much within the same year the way he has elevated his game the last... JASON HAMILTON He's a very technical player and is not afraid to take on other players. It was just a mental thing.... MIKE ARONSON 38. “A wet bird never flies at night.” (My grandfather said that to me when I was a child and wa... JAMES C. DOBSON Every man's his own friend, my dear," replied Fagin, with his most insinuating grin. "He hasn't as g... CHARLES DICKENS I admire a lot of people, but in terms of sport I've always loved the mentality of Tiger Woods o... RAFAEL NADAL Philip Roth is a fabulous writer, but he pretty much stays within his own life. He's so good - I... TOM WOLFE He's never come in as mentally strong as he has this year. And his strength and conditioning has all... ERIC SORENSEN He was, I take it, the most perfect reasoning and observing machine that the world has seen, but as ... ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE I didn't know Gate well, but I always appreciated him, most of all, his feisty, independent spirit a... PETER GURALNICK Magnus got to his feet. “I do believe that's my cue to leave as well,” he said. Clary noticed he... CASSANDRA CLARE I'm glad he said he's sorry, but I think he's just sorry he got caught. It's despicable that he stol... ANN COLLINS [Hudson put himself in the playoff a difficult spot when, from the middle of the fairway, he pulled ... ALEX ADAMS I'm lucky that I hooked up with my husband because he not only helps me but there's a joy for him as... SUSAN LUCCI He can hit any shot and he's got a deft touch around the greens. Ask him on the range to hook a wedg... CHRIS HAACK We have got a meeting later on and we are all going to sign a big A4 welcome back card for Gavin. It... BRIAN O'DRISCOLL Hagrid, look what I’ve got for relatives!” Harry said furiously. “Look at the Dursleys!” J.K. ROWLING [But even though Spurs forward Glenn Robinson never has been a player to doubt his abilities, he sai... GLENN ROBINSON He's not as hard on himself as he once was. He's learnt a lot about the way he has to play his crick... RICKY PONTING See,” he said playfully, and arched his eyebrows. “Admit it.” He moved in. His mouth ame so cl... C.C. HUNTER When he saw Tyler, his face went serious, which struck me as comical. Andy had always been protectiv... JESSI KIRBY That night after my parents had kissed me good night and closed my door, I got out of bed and took f... SHEILA MOON Green smiled at me, all that compassion in his eyes, and he cupped my face in his hands, as tho... AMY LANE He was lonely because he could imagine himself as anything but himself and as anywhere but where he ... WENDELL BERRY When Casey Stengel was putting his mark on all four New York baseball teams, he came off as many thi... GEORGE VECSEY The agent never receipts his bill, puts his hat on and bows himself out. He stays around forever, no... RAYMOND CHANDLER We really wanted Justin to take the shot, because even when guys are on him, he can still make the s... JOE JONES He may or may not have viewed himself as a fine artist, but he did photos for himself as well as com... LEE BRUMBAUGH I will never leave him. It will be this, always, for as long as he will let me. If I had had wo... MADELINE MILLER The prudent man is always sincere, and feels horror at the very thought of exposing himself to the d... ADAM SMITH The Lion in Love
A lion demanded the daughter of a woodcutter in marriage. The Father, unwilling to... AESOP I've got four seniors all which can do a lot but overall there's a ton of athletic ability at th... COACH REBECCA ELDREDGE It is impossible to calculate the moral mischief, if I may so express it, that mental lying has prod... THOMAS PAINE He has always had good game after good game while he has been there. But he's always been looked at ... KEN HOLLAND A person can please people by advising always something of their liking, but they can't be made to r... ANUJ SOMANY He was very well-respected as a major league ump, but I always imagined it had to be tough for a you... CHARLIE WILLIAMS As long as he retains externally the habits of a Christian he can still be made to think of himself ... C.S. LEWIS I think Barry Bonds was in a unique situation given his injuries from a year ago, the fact that he p... BUCK MARTINEZ I’ll be your family now,” he says. “I love you,” I say. I said that once, before I... VERONICA ROTH Well," he said, "I say, now, as I said then, that a man should keep his little brain-attic stocked w... ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE I had him gelded after his last start and it's taken him a while to get over that. He's doing well a... FRANK BROTHERS You want a piece of all this fabulousness?" He gestured to himself. "Well, my best friend com... CASSANDRA CLARE Woody Allen is really the ultimate. I love that he believed in himself enough to do what he did. And... MINDY KALING It is a mental game, and as much as you hate to admit it, you do start pushing after a while. It was... MATT DIAZ I thought he was a player that didn't have any flaws. But what was most impressive was that in addit... GEORGE MCPHEE Last match in Indian Wells wasn't fantastic, but I try not to go too far away from my game plan. His... IVAN LJUBICIC He could play the physical game, but he also had talent. I was lucky enough to have him as my left w... JODY GAGE A lot of people thought he was going to be the next Paul Coffey, rushing the puck to the net, but th... DENIS POTVIN He doesn't know this now, but in the years to come he will, again and again, test Harold's claims of... HANYA YANAGIHARA An artist has got to get acquainted with himself just as much as he can. It is no easy job, for it i... CHAIM POTOK sometimes the whole internet and world also seems the whole piece of mud,
and it kills me...
but i d... SVETLANA SHCHEDRINA | LUCKYOPTIMIST That I wasn't mad at you . Can't you see that Bella?" He was suddenly intense, all trace of te... STEPHENIE MEYER He’s dying!’ Doctor Cove, one of the ship’s two medical officers told me, looking at his med-s... CHRISTINA ENGELA My doctor said I dont use the same side of the brain everyone else uses. lol.. Im insane laawwwwdd .... NERISSA IRVING you once said to would like to sit beside me while I write. Listen in that case I could not write at... SUSAN CAIN I'd like to take all the credit in the world, but he's a self-made player. I've never been around an... CHRIS HAWKINS Every man is a part of each and our senses are attached to both. So when a man speaks of himself as ... PHINEAS PARKHURST QUIMBY But in this case, he had my cell phone and my phone was ringing and I had just come back from Austra... RADHA MITCHELL [But after embarrassing himself with the Redskins in a way that Lou Holtz once embarrassed himself w... STEVE SPURRIER The old grey donkey, Eeyore stood by himself in a thistly corner of the Forest, his front feet well ... A.A. MILNE He pulled my skirt up. I began to worry. Everyone knew he had broken in girls before and I didn't wa... TRACEY EMIN He's labeled as a freshman, but we don't look at him as a freshman anymore. He's not afraid. The kid... BRANDON ROY You may fancy the Lord had His own power to fall back upon. But that would have been to Him just the... GEORGE MACDONALD think when it's all over it just comes back in flashes, you know? It's like a kaleidoscope of memori... TAYLOR SWIFT Will rose slowly to his feet. He could not believe he was doing what he was doing, but it was clear ... CASSANDRA CLARE She smiled at him. “How did you know just what I’d want to see?” “How could I not?” h... CASSANDRA CLARE No man is obliged to do as much as he can do. A man is to have part of his life to himself. SAMUEL JOHNSON I applaud him for going through it, but I think it probably had a little affect on him during the ga... PHIL GARNER firestar: jayfeather what does mallow look like? jayfeather: i dont know, ive never seen any ERIN HUNTER Every man has some reminiscences which he would not tell to everyone, but only to his friends. He ha... FYODOR DOSTOYEVSKY Hopefully we can show what he's got in the Wood. This should be unbelievable. He is definitely ready... JASON BEIDES This figure that thou here seest put,
It was for gentle Shakespeare cut,
Wherein the graver ha... BEN JONSON I know some of the guys I play against, they say some things, ... I've just got to approach it like ... BEN CHANDLER Pollock said several times that he couldn't separate himself from his art. Not knowing much about mo... ED HARRIS
More Woody Austin
Should I be better than you if I make a little bit more money? No. Unfortunately, you know, some peo... WOODY AUSTIN Like I've always said, I'm no different than any other person, WOODY AUSTIN If it's based on wanting the guys on top to play together, it's a bunch of hogwash. There's no probl... WOODY AUSTIN It's just been a bad year, just haven't played good, WOODY AUSTIN It's nice that it did happen again. Anytime you win is a validation for why you're out here. WOODY AUSTIN He got me started in the game and I know he wanted me to play. There's more pressure on me this week... WOODY AUSTIN I got a good bounce  it hit the side of a tree and came out to the... WOODY AUSTIN That's a first, ... I've never seen a hole in the ground where [hornets] came firing out. You could ... WOODY AUSTIN Finally. I played in one final group. It was this year at Hartford. I haven't made many of those. WOODY AUSTIN If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans. WOODY ALLEN Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of meat and pot... WOODY ALLEN I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch. WOODY ALLEN I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying. WOODY ALLEN My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by a quaker. WOODY ALLEN If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very in... WOODY ALLEN What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my car... WOODY ALLEN What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? WOODY ALLEN Paralyze resistance with persistence. WOODY HAYES There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman... WOODY ALLEN In the courtroom, it's where a lawyer really becomes an actor. There's a very fine line betw... WOODY HARRELSON This land is your land, this land is my land, From California to the New York Island. From the redwo... WOODY GUTHRIE I used to have Bible studies at my house. I was in the choir. I was mischievous but also a real mama... WOODY HARRELSON God is silent. Now if only man would shut up. WOODY ALLEN I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. . . I want to achieve it through not dying. WOODY ALLEN The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep. WOODY ALLEN The five big mistakes in football are the fumble, the interception, the penalty, the badly called pl... WOODY HAYES The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to m... WOODY ALLEN There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and w... WOODY ALLEN Sex is nature's way of saying 'Hi!' WOODY ALLEN Sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any WOODY ALLEN sex is simple, love stings afterwards. WOODY ALLEN If it wasn't for dogs, some people would never go for a walk. WOODY ALLEN I've had smarter people around me all my life, but I haven't run into one yet that can outwork me. A... WOODY HAYES I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100. WOODY ALLEN We've killed a million Iraqis since the start of the Gulf war - mostly by blocking humanitarian ... WOODY HARRELSON Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing. WOODY ALLEN Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions. WOODY ALLEN I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens. WOODY ALLEN Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television. WOODY ALLEN Due to current economic conditions the light
at the end of the tunnel has been turned off. WOODY ALLEN What animal can jump higher than a house? Any animal that can jump at all, because houses can't jum... WOODY ALLEN You know the speed of light; so what is the speed of dark? WOODY ALLEN You're born free, then you're taxed to death. WOODY ALLEN It doesn't make a difference what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature. WOODY ALLEN The decision to decide is a decision in itself. WOODY ALLEN One small decision can change your life! That's why I always let someone else make my decisions, tha... WOODY ALLEN Growing up is amazing, until you get old! WOODY ALLEN All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white... WOODY ALLEN If I don't log into Facebook two days in a row, call the police, someone must've kidnapped me! WOODY ALLEN I'm not anti-social. I'm just not social. WOODY ALLEN Is sex dirty? Only when it's being done right. WOODY ALLEN The difference between sex and love is that sex relieves tension and love causes it. WOODY ALLEN I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer. WOODY ALLEN I love nature, I just don't want to get any of it on me. WOODY ALLEN In my next life I want to live my life backwards. You start out dead and get that out of the way. Th... WOODY ALLEN Life is divided up into the horrible and the miserable. WOODY ALLEN A Bay Area Bisexual told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires. WOODY ALLEN Today I saw a red and yellow sunset and thought, how insignificant I am! Of course, I thought that y... WOODY ALLEN Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought -... WOODY ALLEN If you don't fail now and again, it's a sign you're playing it safe. WOODY ALLEN In perpetrating a revolution, there are two requirements: someone or something to revolt against and... WOODY ALLEN My one regret in life is that I'm not someone else. WOODY ALLEN Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage. WOODY ALLEN It shows exactly what you can do if you're a total psychotic. WOODY ALLEN I was thrown out of N.Y.U. my freshman year for cheating on my metaphysics final. You know, I looked... WOODY ALLEN For a while we pondered whether to take a vacation or get a divorce. We decided that a trip to Bermu... WOODY ALLEN Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she would come in and sink my boats. WOODY ALLEN The lion and the calf will lay down together, but the calf won't get much sleep.. WOODY ALLEN Marriage is the death of hope. WOODY ALLEN Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more fun. WOODY ALLEN I don't respond well to mellow, you know what I mean, I have a tendency to... if I get too mellow, I... WOODY ALLEN I've never been an intellectual but I have this look. WOODY ALLEN I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying. WOODY ALLEN I am at two with nature. WOODY ALLEN Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons. WOODY ALLEN If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank. WOODY ALLEN I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens. WOODY ALLEN On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily as lying down. WOODY ALLEN I don't believe in an after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear. WOODY ALLEN It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better... while the ba... WOODY ALLEN I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead -- not sick, not wounded -- dead. WOODY ALLEN In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows. WOODY ALLEN If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job. WOODY ALLEN Capital punishment would be more effective as a preventive measure if it were administered prior to ... WOODY ALLEN Without winners, there wouldn't even be any civilization. WOODY HAYES More than at any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and ut... WOODY ALLEN A relationship, I think, is like a shark, you know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies. An... WOODY ALLEN Eighty percent of success is showing up. WOODY ALLEN What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat guy... WOODY ALLEN I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox. WOODY ALLEN Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it. WOODY ALLEN Of all the wonders of nature, a tree in summer is perhaps the most remarkable; with the possible exc... WOODY ALLEN A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'. WOODY ALLEN It is no secret that organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year. This is ... WOODY ALLEN I think being funny is not anyone's first choice. WOODY ALLEN I've often said, the only thing standing between me and greatness is me WOODY ALLEN To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one suffers from not loving. ... WOODY ALLEN Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable. WOODY ALLEN Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex an... WOODY ALLEN What do I dislike about death? Must be the hours. WOODY ALLEN How to make God laugh: Tell him your future plans. WOODY ALLEN Innovation is the ability to see change as an opportunity - not a threat WOODY ALLEN Just don't take any class where you have to read BEOWULF. WOODY ALLEN Eternity is really long, especially near the end WOODY ALLEN I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy ... WOODY ALLEN I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government. WOODY ALLEN Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast. WOODY ALLEN If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take tw... WOODY ALLEN Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions WOODY ALLEN A woman's appetite is twice that of a man's; her sexual desire, four times; her intelligence, eight ... WOODY ALLEN The study of economy usually shows us that the best time for purchase was last year. WOODY ALLEN The best way to find your perfect match is to meet love halfway. WOODY ALLEN There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem t... WOODY ALLEN Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on offi... WOODY ALLEN To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition. WOODY ALLEN Men learn to love the woman they are attracted to. Women learn to become attracted to the man they f... WOODY ALLEN On our first date, all Anne wanted to talk about was Bob Feller, the new pitcher for the Cleveland I... WOODY HAYES I used to have terrible acne on my face: red, splotchy discoloration. And mucus - I was constantly b... WOODY HARRELSON Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon. WOODY ALLEN Without winners, there wouldn't even be any civilization. WOODY HAYES When I'm in New York, I bike everywhere. I have a couple of bikes stored over at Ed Norton's... WOODY HARRELSON Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television. WOODY ALLEN I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose. WOODY ALLEN It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better while the bad o... WOODY ALLEN Tradition is the illusion of permanance. WOODY ALLEN Some guy hit my fender the other day, and I said unto him, 'Be fruitful, and multiply'. But not in t... WOODY ALLEN When I had just started 'Cheers,' my nerves were ajangle, to put it mildly. I was absolutely... WOODY HARRELSON Photons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic. WOODY ALLEN If you play more than two chords, you're showing off. WOODY GUTHRIE Take it easy, but take it. WOODY GUTHRIE To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition. WOODY ALLEN I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to fin... WOODY ALLEN I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers. WOODY ALLEN He was so depressed, he tried to commit suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian. WOODY ALLEN I don't apologize for anything. When I make a mistake, I take the blame and go on from there. WOODY HAYES Violence was almost an aphrodisiac for me. WOODY HARRELSON Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty da... WOODY ALLEN Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boa... WOODY ALLEN As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure ou... WOODY ALLEN In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows. WOODY ALLEN There's a smugness that goes with being a huge company. The big fish say, 'If it's so gr... WOODY NORRIS The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don't h... WOODY ALLEN I think being funny is not anyone's first choice. WOODY ALLEN I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse. WOODY ALLEN I try to apply the organic concept to my clothes and bedding as well. There's nothing like swimm... WOODY HARRELSON I'm an anarchist and I do think things such as Occupy Wall Street are about getting a little clo... WOODY HARRELSON If you manage to stop the timber industry from cutting this forest, they'll cut that forest. If ... WOODY HARRELSON I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib. WOODY ALLEN The most deceptive course in football is straight at the goalposts. WOODY HAYES The giant industries that are polluting our planet as well as violating human rights worldwide are t... WOODY HARRELSON Pesticides came about after the first world war. Some brainy petrochemical money maker said, 'He... WOODY HARRELSON I related to his disillusionment. Thinking that he was going for this big dream. Then he kind of saw... WOODY HARRELSON I never was disillusioned with acting because I love acting. WOODY HARRELSON Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen. WOODY ALLEN Nothing that comes easy is worth a dime. WOODY HAYES My films are therapy for my debilitating depression. In institutions people weave baskets. I make fi... WOODY ALLEN Nobody despises to lose more than I do. That's got me into trouble over the years, but it also m... WOODY HAYES I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the bo... WOODY ALLEN A grownup is a child with layers on. WOODY HARRELSON It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens. WOODY ALLEN The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep. WOODY ALLEN I was thrown out of NYU for cheating-with the deans wife WOODY ALLEN If my film makes one more person miserable, I've done my job WOODY ALLEN It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens. WOODY ALLEN I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia. WOODY ALLEN Whosoever shall not fall by the sword or by famine, shall fall by pestilence, so why bother shaving? WOODY ALLEN Whosover loveth wisdom is righteous, but he that keepeth company with fowl is weird. WOODY ALLEN The wicked at heart probably know something. WOODY ALLEN My Lord, my Lord! What hast Thou done, lately? WOODY ALLEN Is sex dirty? Only if it's done right. WOODY ALLEN If my film makes one more person miserable, I've done my job. WOODY ALLEN Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night. WOODY ALLEN I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy ... WOODY ALLEN I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead- not sick, not wounded - dead. WOODY ALLEN For the first year of marriage I had basically a bad attitude. I tended to place my wife underneath ... WOODY ALLEN We were married by a reformed rabbi in Long Island. A very reformed rabbi. A Nazi. WOODY ALLEN The only difference between sex and death is, with death you can do it alone and nobody's going to m... WOODY ALLEN Seventy percent of success in life is showing up. WOODY ALLEN My one regret in life is that I am not someone else. WOODY ALLEN It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat... WOODY ALLEN It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune. WOODY ALLEN Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought--... WOODY ALLEN If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank. WOODY ALLEN If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. But the worst that you can say ab... WOODY ALLEN I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way aroun... WOODY ALLEN I took a speed reading course and read 'War and Peace' in twenty minutes. It involves Russia. WOODY ALLEN I tended to place my wife under a pedestal. WOODY ALLEN I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it through not dying. WOODY ALLEN I can't listen to that much Wagner. I start getting the urge to conquer Poland. WOODY ALLEN How is it possible to find meaning in a finite world, given my waist and shirt size? WOODY ALLEN How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typ... WOODY ALLEN His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy. WOODY ALLEN Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it. WOODY ALLEN As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree' -- probably because it's so hard to figure out how to g... WOODY ALLEN Death doesn't really worry me that much, I'm not frightened about it... I just don't want to be ther... WOODY ALLEN More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter... WOODY ALLEN You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundre... WOODY ALLEN Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered? WOODY ALLEN When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room. WOODY ALLEN Thought: Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverag... WOODY ALLEN