FastSaying

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.


Groucho Marx

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I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX I was always a fan of Groucho Marx as a kid.
MICHAEL FELDMAN The world would not be in such a snarl,/ had Marx been Groucho instead of Karl.
IRVING BERLIN The world would not be in such a snarl, had Marx been Groucho instead of Karl.
IRVING BERLIN Up there with my awards, I have a great big statue of Groucho Marx, just to put everything in perspe...
JOHN LITHGOW The only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARX I’ll put off reading Lolita for six more years until she turns 18.
GROUCHO MARX Everybody has got to die, but I always believed an exception would be made in my case. Now what?
WILLIAM SAROYAN When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell...
LINDA KAGE I never make exceptions. An exception disproves the rule.
ARTHUR DOYLE I never make exceptions. An exception disproves the rule.
ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE SR. I could dance with you till the cows come home. Better still, I'll dance with the cows and you come ...
GROUCHO MARX I like to exhilarate the audience like Groucho Marx exhilarated me when I was a kid. Also, I enjoy d...
FRANK FERRANTE Never forget, a smile on your face gives you a good image
SOTONYE ANGA The genius of the Marx Brothers is for parody. They never are themselves. They exist too abundantly ...
MARK VAN DOREN The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made. Life is a ...
GROUCHO MARX Because I have never met anyone that I wanted in my life that way before.
But you.
I could...
KRYSTAL SUTHERLAND I feel about aging the way William Saroyan said he felt about death: Everybody has to do it, but I a...
MARTHA BECK Throughout my life, there are four people I've met who were truly original people. The other thr...
ALICE COOPER The real achievement of Woody Allen was that he was making movies that felt very personal, and for a...
NOAH BAUMBACH I'll never forget the day when a woman came up to me and said, 'No, you could never be on a ...
GISELE BUNDCHEN In case you ever foolishly forget: I am never not thinking of you.
VIRGINIA WOOLF you never forget the face of the person who was your last hope
SUSANNE COLLINS Never forget to be yourself, and never forget the purpose of your life.
DEBASISH MRIDHA Don't look now, but there's one too many in this room and I think it's you
GROUCHO MARX In case you ever foolishly forget:
I am never not thinking of you.
VIRGINIA WOOLF Never forget what you are, for surely the world will not. Make it your strength. Then it can never b...
GEORGE R.R. MARTIN Never forget what you are, for surely the world will not. Make it your strength. Then it can never b...
GEORGE R.R. MARTIN Never forget who you are, for surely the world will not. Make it your strength. Then it can never be...
GEORGE R.R. MARTIN Let your heart shine even more than your face. The beautiful contents of your heart can never be for...
MICHAEL BASSEY JOHNSON I've never known Vern to be ill. I doubt if he ever took an aspirin.
BOB LEMON I've never known Vern to be ill, ... I doubt if he ever took an aspirin.
BOB LEMON We have made an exception, that in case of an emergency, the mayor may sign off on the purchase orde...
KATINA WHITLEDGE Never be dejected if society see's you,nor your race as an outcast,but rather be glad that this is t...
DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN) Reach out and help others. If you have the power to make someone happy, do it. Be a vessel, be the c...
GERMANY KENT Just in case you ever foolishly forget; I'm never not thinking of you.
VIRGINIA WOOLF Lately, I don't talk much except to Mel. I make an exception because he has a dog.
EILEEN GRANFORS Always forgive, but never forget, else you will be a prisoner of your own hatred, and doomed to repe...
WIL ZEUS I want to have the eyes of an adult to see the world as it is, but I more desperately want to have t...
CRAIG D. LOUNSBROUGH It's a pretty big stadium, ... It will be an experience I never forget.
ARTHUR ASHE Study hard, and you might grow up to be President. But let's face it: Even then, you'll never make a...
GEORGE BUSH I never forget,” Myrnin said in a choked whisper. “Certainly not with your nails in my throat. T...
RACHEL CAINE I'd always heard stories about how Harpo Marx was the most talkative of the Marx brothers. I fou...
HARMONY KORINE Forget the times of your distress, but never forget what they taught you.
GESSER I would say that I was absolutely convinced of the possibility of our making an uranium engine, but ...
WERNER HEISENBERG Let me give you some counsel, bastard. Never forget what you are, for surely the world will not. Mak...
GEORGE R.R. MARTIN Never be afraid to pioneer an invention in life,but rather be glad that you are the first to see the...
DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN) In those seconds, I was mourning everything I'd lost. How I'd never get to see you walk down an aisl...
KIERA CASS Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
JOHN F. KENNEDY Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
JOHN FITZGERALD KENNEDY Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
THOMAS A KEMPIS Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names
JOHN FITZGERALD KENNEDY It's an adrenaline rush. I'll never forget the first time I saw a bear in the wild. It was a moment ...
BRIAN MEYERS I still believe Pfizer will win the U.S. case, but you can never make any assumptions in a patent di...
HENRY SCOTT I was changing a light bulb over Groucho Marx's bed, so I took my shoes off, got on his bed and ...
ELLIOTT GOULD A mistrial is generally good for the defendant because he's gotten a look at the government's case. ...
FRANK RAZZANO It is a case of putting it to the back of your mind but equally don't forget what you learned from i...
FRANK LAMPARD Always forgive but never forget. It's good for you to let go of your anger and forgive.Someone wrong...
DR ANIL KUMAR SINHA If your presence doesn't make an impact, your absence won't make a difference.
TREY SMITH A mistrial is generally good for the defendant because he's gotten a look at the government's case, ...
FRANK RAZZANO I'm just glad I can make a difference in someone's life.
TOMMY CHONG You're beautifulIt's trueI saw your face In a crowded placeand I dont know what to docause I will ne...
JAMES BLUNT If you want to be a shadow, you will remain in the dark. Never forget, your Soul is original; Be you...
DR NIRVADHA SINGH I have a lot of experience, and it's true someone 55 will be working, but they will not be working a...
ABE SIMOFF I am a Marxist... of the Groucho tendency.
SOURCE UNKNOWN I am a Marxist--of the Groucho tendency.
ANONYMOUS You can make an exception without the sky falling,
ANTONIN SCALIA Instead of worrying, forget about your troubles. If some worries come true, you will have the Courag...
RVM Never give up, and be confident in what you do. There may be tough times, but the difficulties which...
MARTA I didn’t want to kill girls… even vampire girls. Though I might make an exception for that blond...
STEPHENIE MEYER Never forget that you are one of a kind. Never forget that if there weren't any need for you in all ...
RICHARD BUCKMINSTER FULLER Never forget that you are one of a kind. Never forget that if there weren't any need for you in all ...
R. BUCKMINSTER FULLER This is starting to be an issue in Citrus County that I never thought we would face.
CHUCK DIXON Never be depressed that you no longer enjoy sex with your spouse after delivery,but be glad that thi...
DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN) For harmony and peaceful success in business: Never make a friend of an employee or an employee of a...
REBEKAH CYPHERS We're taught that in life, we should try to look on the bright side. Not in this case. In this case,...
GREG BEHRENDT Normally it is not polite to go into somebody’s room without knocking, but you can make an excepti...
LEMONY SNICKET If we never make it, then don't ever to fake it... sometimes accepting a failure will make you be an...
ABHIYANDA B. If you take obstacle as hurdle in your endeavour you are doomed to be failure. Never make an obstacl...
DR ANIL KUMAR SINHA If you have donated, these children may never know your name, but they will never forget your kindne...
ROMA DOWNEY Though it be honest, it is never good To bring bad news; give to a gracious message An host of...
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE Though it be honest, it is never good to bring bad news: give to a gracious message an host of tongu...
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it
GROUCHO MARX War is an ill thing, as I surely know. But 'twould be an ill world for weaponless dreamers if evil m...
RUDYARD KIPLING Never, never, never, on cross-examination ask a witness a question you don't already know the answer...
HARPER LEE The essence of immorality is the tendency to make an exception of myself.
JANE ADDAMS We were never given a chance to make our case [to live in the home].
JOSEPHINE CHILDRESS I always forget what city we're in by the end of a trip. I've forgotten what room I'm in a couple of...
DORELL WRIGHT Men forget but never forgive. Women forgive but never forget.
BENJAMIN FRANKLIN Men forget but never forgive. Women forgive but never forget.
ROGER WODDIS A coin is examined, and only after careful deliberation, given to a beggar, whereas a child is flung...
PETER WESSEL ZAPFFE I'm a huge Groucho fan. There were some great comic minds that would transfer into any generatio...
JOE ROGAN Blogs are the main exception I make in my aversion to complex machinery.
LAURIE R. KING I was glad we got back on the field because in those situations, you want an opportunity to make a p...
COREY CHAVOUS I never said to be like me, I say be yourself and make a difference.
MARILYN MANSON The best way to destroy an enemy is to make him your friend but remember an old one will never becom...
VIKRANT PARSAI And Marx spoke of the fact that socialism will be the kingdom of freedom, where man realizes himself...
ALBERT MALTZ Sephora has it all, and this brush set is no exception! The set includes five brushes in a neat litt...
LINDA DAVIS Do you forget that I am your sister?”
“No; I’ve never been granted the opportunity to for...
GEORGETTE HEYER

More Groucho Marx

I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.
GROUCHO MARX The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
GROUCHO MARX Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
GROUCHO MARX I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west ...
GROUCHO MARX I intend to live forever, or die trying.
GROUCHO MARX I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?
GROUCHO MARX Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men--the other 999 follow women.
GROUCHO MARX Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.
GROUCHO MARX One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife.
GROUCHO MARX Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
GROUCHO MARX No man goes before his time -- unless the boss leaves early.
GROUCHO MARX Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARX The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can't fool around. If you write about som...
GROUCHO MARX Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day...
GROUCHO MARX The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open
GROUCHO MARX Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman. Then if you can get the dog to go...
GROUCHO MARX I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and...
GROUCHO MARX I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yes...
GROUCHO MARX I am so broke, I can't even afford to fill up my bicycle.
GROUCHO MARX How does the healthy dog bark? Ruff Ruff.
How does the cold dog bark ? Scarf Scarf.
How...
GROUCHO MARX I think it is good that books still exist, but they do make me sleepy.
GROUCHO MARX I have a new philosophy. I'm only going to dread one day at a time.
GROUCHO MARX Insurance is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back.
GROUCHO MARX Friends are chocolate chips in the cookie of life!
GROUCHO MARX What did the dog say after walking in the desert for hours? If I don't find a tree soon I'm gonna p...
GROUCHO MARX I'm a Nillionaire. I have little to no money!
GROUCHO MARX One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.
GROUCHO MARX If aliens saw us walking our dogs and picking up their poop, who would they think is in charge?
GROUCHO MARX A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
GROUCHO MARX I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell...
GROUCHO MARX Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
GROUCHO MARX Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
GROUCHO MARX I worked myself up from nothing to extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX Look at me. I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
GROUCHO MARX Although it is generally known, I think it's about time to announce that I was born at a very early ...
GROUCHO MARX I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX There is one way to find out if a man is honest; ask him! If he says yes you know he's crooked.
GROUCHO MARX There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of ones fellow man.
GROUCHO MARX I eat like a vulture. Unfortunately the resemblance doesn't end there.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARX I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. The recipes were to be the routine ones: how to make d...
GROUCHO MARX A clown is like aspirin, only he works twice as fast.
GROUCHO MARX I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.
GROUCHO MARX My mother loved children--she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX Whoever named it necking is a poor judge of anatomy.
GROUCHO MARX No man goes before his time / unless the boss leaves early.
GROUCHO MARX The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made. Life is a ...
GROUCHO MARX Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it, and then misapplying the w...
GROUCHO MARX No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
GROUCHO MARX While money can't buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
GROUCHO MARX I find television very educational. Every time someone switches it on I go into another room and rea...
GROUCHO MARX If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
GROUCHO MARX The first thing which I can record concerning myself is, that I was born. These are wonderful words....
GROUCHO MARX Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARX I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
GROUCHO MARX Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
GROUCHO MARX Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
GROUCHO MARX Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
GROUCHO MARX In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom.
GROUCHO MARX I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
GROUCHO MARX I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.
GROUCHO MARX She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course.
GROUCHO MARX A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
GROUCHO MARX Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
GROUCHO MARX All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I...
GROUCHO MARX I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX Before I speak, I have something important to say.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
GROUCHO MARX Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
GROUCHO MARX Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
GROUCHO MARX A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
GROUCHO MARX I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.
GROUCHO MARX I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.
GROUCHO MARX Humor is reason gone mad.
GROUCHO MARX One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.
GROUCHO MARX Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
GROUCHO MARX I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my agent, as written in our contract.
GROUCHO MARX I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX I've got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.
GROUCHO MARX I have nothing but respect for you -- and not much of that.
GROUCHO MARX He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
GROUCHO MARX I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
GROUCHO MARX I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yes...
GROUCHO MARX Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and app...
GROUCHO MARX I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it.
GROUCHO MARX Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.
GROUCHO MARX Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
GROUCHO MARX Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
GROUCHO MARX All geniuses die young.
GROUCHO MARX There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, 'Yes,' you know he...
GROUCHO MARX I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every...
GROUCHO MARX We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her sta...
GROUCHO MARX I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a ...
GROUCHO MARX She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
GROUCHO MARX I do not care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
GROUCHO MARX No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
GROUCHO MARX My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of one's fellow man.
GROUCHO MARX She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the live of the party.
GROUCHO MARX I'd horsewhip you if I had a horse.
GROUCHO MARX In America you can go on the air and kid the politicians, and the politicians can go on the air and ...
GROUCHO MARX Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book -and does
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I...
GROUCHO MARX Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARX Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
GROUCHO MARX There's one way to find out if a man is honest-ask him. If he says, "Yes," you know he is a crook.
GROUCHO MARX She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is han...
GROUCHO MARX Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
GROUCHO MARX It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.
GROUCHO MARX I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX I sent the club a wire stating, PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THA...
GROUCHO MARX I could dance with you until the cows come home. On second thought I'd rather dance with the cows ...
GROUCHO MARX Go, and never darken my towels again.
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day ...
GROUCHO MARX Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long e...
GROUCHO MARX My mother loved children -- she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
GROUCHO MARX We dont like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out. Well, art is art, isnt it? Still, on t...
GROUCHO MARX I don't have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They're upstairs in my socks.
GROUCHO MARX Women should be obscene and not heard.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough
GROUCHO MARX I was going to thrash them within an inch of their lives, but I didn't have a tape measure
GROUCHO MARX The secret of success is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake those, you’ve got it made.”
GROUCHO MARX Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?
GROUCHO MARX My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you ...
GROUCHO MARX My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually te...
GROUCHO MARX Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
GROUCHO MARX If income tax is the price you have to pay to keep the government on its feet, alimony is the price ...
GROUCHO MARX Don’t ever underestimate the importance of money. I know it’s often been said that money won’t...
GROUCHO MARX I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library ...
GROUCHO MARX You've got the brain of a four-year-old boy, and I bet he was glad to get rid of it
GROUCHO MARX Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX [When Judy Garland lost the 1954 best actress Oscar to Grace Kelly in] The Country Girl, ... Dear Ju...
GROUCHO MARX I was so long writing my review that I never got around to reading the book.
GROUCHO MARX Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does
GROUCHO MARX Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana
GROUCHO MARX Money will not make you happy, and happy will not make you money
GROUCHO MARX Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men, the other 999 follow women
GROUCHO MARX A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
GROUCHO MARX Here's to our wives and girlfriends...may they never meet!
GROUCHO MARX Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have...
GROUCHO MARX If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
GROUCHO MARX Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, and I'm going to be happy in it...
GROUCHO MARX I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.
GROUCHO MARX If you're not having fun, you're doing something wrong.
GROUCHO MARX One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I'll never know.
GROUCHO MARX Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.
GROUCHO MARX Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I...
GROUCHO MARX It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member
GROUCHO MARX I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. . . . I think a lot of people who hate literature but ...
GROUCHO MARX Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.
GROUCHO MARX I'm giving you 30 days to live.
GROUCHO MARX She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the life of the party
GROUCHO MARX Believe me, you have to get up early if you want to get out of bed
GROUCHO MARX A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
GROUCHO MARX And I want to thank you for all the enjoyment you've taken out of it.
GROUCHO MARX Remember, we're fighting for this woman's honor, which is probably far more than she's ever done!
GROUCHO MARX Hey, when I said work fast, I didn't mean your friend, I meant the maid.
GROUCHO MARX Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?
GROUCHO MARX I have nothing but confidence in you, and very little of that
GROUCHO MARX A man's only as old as the woman he feels.
GROUCHO MARX Blood's not thicker than money
GROUCHO MARX I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
GROUCHO MARX Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!
GROUCHO MARX The only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARX Q: What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic?
A: Someone who stay...
GROUCHO MARX Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a man's best friend is a book. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I...
GROUCHO MARX I cannot say that I do not disagree with you
GROUCHO MARX I would never belong to a group that would accept someone like me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX Years ago, I tried to top everybody, but I don't anymore, I realized it was killing conversation. Wh...
GROUCHO MARX Remember men, we're fighting for this woman's honor; which is probably more than she ever did.
GROUCHO MARX I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member
GROUCHO MARX Did I ever tell you how I shot a wild elephant in my pyjamas? How he got into my pyjamas I'll never ...
GROUCHO MARX