Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.

Somebody will come up to me after a show and have me sign their arm, and the next time I see them my autograph has been permanently inscribed on their arm.

I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.

The next time you have a thought... let it go.

The next time you see an outside day with a down close lower than the previous day, don't get scared, get ready to buy!

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana