You can always tell a real friend: when you've made a fool of yourself he doesn't feel you've done a permanent job.


Laurence J. Peter

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At some point, I'll have to go get a real job.
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I kept thinking, I went to college and I have to get a real job.
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What do I look for in a friend?
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In spite of the cost of living, it's still popular.
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Given enough time—and assuming the existence of enough ranks in the hierarchy—each employee rise...
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Incompetence,” he argued, “knows no barrier of time or place.
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Know, all the good that individuals find, Or God and Nature meant to mere Mankind, Reason’s whole ...
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an employee’s relationship—by blood, marriage or acquaintance—with a person above him in the h...
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Nobody understands how the incessant pressure from above and the incurable incompetence below make i...
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Slump, and the world slumps with you. Push and you push alone.
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If you're not sure where you're going, you'll probably end up somewhere else.
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If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.
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Speak when you are angry - and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret.
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Equal opportunity means everyone will have a fair chance at being incompetent.
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You shouldn't punish others for your own choices
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Fortune knocks but once, but misfortune has much more patience.
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Ever since man invented the wheel, he has been the confused victim of the miracles he has wrought.
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An optimist expects his dreams to come true; a pessimist expects his nightmares to.
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Everyone rises to their level of incompetence.
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America is a land of taxation that was founded to avoid taxation.
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A censor is a man who knows more than he thinks you ought to.
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Nobody can be perfect unless he admits his faults, but if he has faults how can he be perfect?
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A pessimist is a man who looks both ways when he crosses the street.
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Bureaucracy defends the status quo long past the time when the quo has lost its status.
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Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.
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If you don't know where you are going, you will probably end up somewhere else.
DR. LAURENCE J. PETER
Education is a method whereby one acquires a higher grade of prejudices.
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If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.
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Expert: a man who makes three correct guesses consecutively.
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Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents' shortcomings.
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There are two kinds of egotists: Those who admit it, and the rest of us.
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A rut is a grave with the ends knocked out.
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Facts are stubborn things, but statistics are more pliable
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In a hierarchy, every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence.
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Work is accomplished by those employees who have not yet reached their level of incompetence.
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There are two kinds of failures: those who thought and never did, andthose who did and never thought...
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Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.
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Everyone is in awe of the lion tamer in a cage with half a dozen lions-everyone but a school bus dri...
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Democracy is a process by which the people are free to choose the man who will get the blame.
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Going to church does not make you a Christian anymore than going to the garage makes you a car.
DR. LAURENCE J. PETER
It's better to have loved and lost than to have to do forty pounds of laundry a week.
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A man convinced against his will is not convinced.
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Make three correct guesses consecutively and you will establish a reputation as an expert.
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The only problems money can solve are money problems
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Slump, and the world slumps with you. Push, and you push alone.
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Many live by their wits but few by their wit
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Committees have become so important nowadays that subcommittees have to be appointed to do the work.
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The advantage of modern means of communication is they enable you to worry about things in all of th...
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Heredity is what sets the parents of a teenager wondering about each other.
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The best intelligence test is what we do with our leisure.
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It is wise to remember that you are one of those who can be fooled some of the time.
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If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk?
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A man doesn't know what he knows until he knows what he doesn't know.
DR. LAURENCE J. PETER
When in doubt or danger, run in circles, scream and shout.
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The problem is not whether business will survive in competition with business, but whether any busin...
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Have you declared yourself enlightened...
PETER J. CARROLL
And as he sat upon the Mount of Olives, the disciples came unto him privately, saying, 'Tell us, whe...
PETER J. TANOUS
There are two main jobs in acting - the first one is to be a good actor, and the second one is to co...
LAURENCE FOX
The Second Amendment does protect the right to people to possess weapons for self-defense in the hom...
LAURENCE TRIBE
As a child growing up in San Francisco in the 1950s, I sometimes met insults when I ventured outside...
LAURENCE YEP
There are a lot of things that fit on a bumper sticker in terms of either liberty or equality or pro...
LAURENCE TRIBE
The world does not pay for what a person knows, but it pays for what a person does with what he know...
LAURENCE LEE
The desire of knowledge, like the thirst for riches, increases ever with the acquisition of it.
LAURENCE STERNE
There is nothing so awkward as courting a woman whilst she is making sausages.
LAURENCE STERNE
When men grow virtuous in their old age they are merely making a sacrifice to God of the devil's le...
LAURENCE STERNE
Let to-morrow take care of to-morrow, Leave things of the future to fate; What's the use to an...
LAURENCE STERNE
These things by reason of our friendship I have not hesitated glo to communicate.
LAURENCE STERNE
It is the duty of a good shepherd to shear, not to skin his sheep.
LAURENCE STERNE
He found a city of bricks, he left one of marble.
LAURENCE STERNE
The most accomplished way of using books is to serve them as some people do lords; learn their title...
LAURENCE STERNE
Most of the fiction on the California Gold Rush makes it sound like one grand, boyish adventure. How...
LAURENCE YEP
They shall not grow old, as we that are left grow old; Age shall not weary them, nor the years con...
LAURENCE BINYON
Love is active, not passive. It is our love for one another, for Mother Earth, for our fellow creatu...
LAURENCE OVERMIRE
Look into the world
LAURENCE STERNE
Two more years were to go by before I knew anything about William Blake. Many years later, when his ...
LAURENCE HOUSMAN
The world does not pay for what a person knows. But it pays for what a person does with what he know...
LAURENCE LEE
Respect for ourselves guides our morals; respect for others guides our manners
LAURENCE STERNE
I wish either my father or my mother, or indeed both of them, as they were in duty both equally boun...
LAURENCE STERNE
Pain and pleasure, like light and darkness, succeed each other.
LAURENCE STERNE
We lose the right of complaining sometimes, by denying something, but this often triples its force.
LAURENCE STERNE
For every ten jokes you acquire a hundred enemies.
LAURENCE STERNE
'Tis no extravagant arithmetic to say, that for every ten jokes, thou hast got an hundred enemies; a...
LAURENCE STERNE
I am persuaded that every time a man smiles, but much more so when he laughs, it adds something to t...
LAURENCE STERNE
I've played a lot of bad guys, 'cause that was the only work I could get. People saw my face and wen...
LAURENCE FISHBURNE
First, whenever a man talks loudly against religion, always suspect that it is not his reason, but h...
LAURENCE STERNE
When ever a person talks loudly against religion, always suspect that it is not their reason, but th...
LAURENCE STERNE
Positiveness is an absurd foible. If you are in the right, it lessens your triumph; if in the wrong,...
LAURENCE STERNE
There are worse occupations in this world than feeling a woman's pulse.
LAURENCE STERNE
People who overly take care of their health are like misers. They hoard up a treasure which they nev...
LAURENCE STERNE
Only the brave know how to forgive; it is the most refined and generous pitch of virtue human nature...
LAURENCE STERNE
Men tire themselves in pursuit of rest.
LAURENCE STERNE
So long as a man rides his Hobby-Horse peaceably and quietly along the King's highway, and neither c...
LAURENCE STERNE