Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it.

Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign?

A conspiracy is nothing but a secret agreement of a number of men for the pursuance of policies which they dare not admit in public.

Aging is a matter of mind. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.