FastSaying

I want to write an unreliable narrator. In fact, he’ll be so unreliable that I’m not even sure he’ll show up to narrate.


Jarod Kintz

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[In fact, all he’ll offer is a simple] No, I’m not getting into all of that ... The Break Up.
BRAD PITT I think every first-person narrator in a novel should be compromised. I prefer that word to 'unr...
CHARLES PALLISER There's something uniquely exhilarating about puzzling together the truth at the hands of an unr...
MARIA SEMPLE Or, rather, you irritate everyone, Curdle. Because you're so unreliable.'
'I'm not always unrel...
STEVEN ERIKSON You need not wonder whether you should have an unreliable person as a friend. An unreliable person i...
IDRIES SHAH Oh, he’ll try, I’m sure. . . . The usual empty words, the usual slithering out of action ...
J.K. ROWLING A lot of crime writing suffers from treading water. I feel an obligation to move the character on an...
PHILIP KERR And I will wait for Jarod to work for me. For free, cause if it's paid, it's work and not love, unle...
WILL ADVISE When Jarod Kintz gets married, I want to wear his grandpa to the ceremony, telling everyone we're Si...
WILL ADVISE Jarod Kintz gets so many retweets, he’s like Katniss Everdeen with tourettes in a forest full of M...
RYAN LILLY If I were God, I certainly wouldn't want people to love me sentimentally. It's too unreliable...
J.D. SALINGER We think that's sleazy and an unreliable way to fund public education.
DENNIS HARTNETT Our feelings are unreliable and cannot be trusted to convey truth.
JOYCE MEYER You are unreliable, Flavia,' he said. 'Utterly unreliable.'
Of course I was! It was one of the ...
ALAN BRADLEY I really hate that I need my glasses while using my laptop. What I hate even more is that I need tho...
KAREN QUAN Because we never got it and it was very unreliable, we really couldn't get the financing to go out a...
KEVIN KAUFFMAN We've already established whoever is writing us is an asshole.
JOHN SCALZI They appear somewhat unreliable," he murmured.
"Unreliable? Nonsense, Superior! Out of luck is ...
JOE ABERCROMBIE If I tell Dad he has a problem, he’ll think I hate him. How can I hurt him more? He just lost ever...
KODY KEPLINGER Did you know that if you put a frog in boiling water, he’ll jump out? But, if you put one in cold ...
EMMA CHASE Don't be misled by History, or any other unreliable source.
WILL ROGERS - Why is depression the blues and not the grays?
- Because racer!
-Jarod Kintz and Stefan...
STEFAN D The service in Brighton over the years had become somewhat unreliable. The reality was there was not...
DAN MANZ She was like a candle in the wind... unreliable.
GARTH MARENGHI All kits get fevers!” Sandpaw retorted. “With his thick fur, he’ll recover in no time. That co...
ERIN HUNTER I found it hard to write the bits where the things that were at first surprising or even shocking be...
OLIVIA SUDJIC I’m not sure I want to go to prom. I’m not sure I want to share you with anyone.
JENNIFER L. ARMENTROUT When your heart starts to feel full again. I love FREE refills, and if a restaurant tries to double ...
KAREN QUAN The long distance hiker, a breed set apart,
From the likes of the usual pack.
He’ll shou...
M.J. EBERHART We may not understand the pathways God lays out before us. We may not even like walking the journey....
MARY E. DEMUTH What a word is truth. Slippery, tricky, unreliable. I tried in these books to tell the truth.
LILLIAN HELLMAN A picture is worth a thousand words, but the way I paint I'm going to need to contact an editor. Eve...
JAMES LEE SCHMIDT Most people wait for the muse to turn up. That's terribly unreliable. I have to sit down and pur...
NICK CAVE If I were offering hip replacement services I'd use Jarod Kintz as my spokesman. No one can possibly...
WILL ADVISE A woman watches her body uneasily, as though it were an unreliable ally in the battle for love.
LEONARD COHEN In other words, he's an entirely unreliable individual upon whom the White House was placing substan...
JAY ROCKEFELLER As sure as time, history is repeating itself, and as sure as man is man, history is the last place h...
HARPER LEE I am always trying to figure God out so that I can figure Him in. But after a while I figure that I ...
CRAIG D. LOUNSBROUGH If you were to ask Jarod Kintz‬‬‬ what his personal favourite joke was, he'd say the one with ...
STEFAN D Linh Cinder. Such a pleasure. My master has spoken so highly of you.”

Cinder paused and...
MARISSA MEYER Gain a modest reputation for being unreliable and you will never be asked to do a thing.
PAUL THEROUX I’m sick of them. I never want to see them again. Except Aros; he smells nice. And Rome; because h...
JAYMIN EVE He sneered at his father. “He’ll live. I’m going after her.”
“What?” His sister sto...
G.A. AIKEN To be, or not to be, that is the question.
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE My sources are unreliable, but their information is fascinating
ASHLEIGH BRILLIANT In the short term, natural gas suppliers might feel they have an enormous amount of leverage. In alm...
DAVID VICTOR Ezra clapped his hands. "all right," he said. "In addition to the books we're reading as a class, I ...
SARA SHEPARD My grandpa, unlike Jarod Kintz, was an Elder. Now that he's dead and gone, he's a ghost French wizar...
WILL ADVISE It’s very dangerous to have someone like you, because one day he’ll find that you are not the pe...
CARRIE FISHER It's not a lack of detail ? it's a lack of reliability. An accomplice questioned by police is unreli...
DEAN STRANG I love you Rush Finlay. You are going to be the best husband and father the world has ever known. On...
ABBI GLINES Give a man a mask and he’ll tell you the truth.
OSCAR WILDE if it doesn't come bursting out of you
in spite of everything,
don't do it.
unless it...
CHARLES BUKOWSKI To be or not to be. That's not really a question.
JEAN-LUC GODARD When I battle wits with Jarod Kintz I always feel like I need to take my brain out to give him a tra...
WILL ADVISE If a guy truly likes you, but for personal reasons he needs to take things slow, he will let you kno...
GREG BEHRENDT I’ve been the fool. If he does it with you, he’ll do it to you.
PAULA HAWKINS So too Plato was, in my view, a very unreliable Platonist. He was too much of a philosopher to think...
GILBERT RYLE D’Artagnan: Why is Athos sitting by himself?
Aramis: He takes his drinking very seriously. No...
ALEXANDRE DUMAS Give a man a finger, he’ll put a wedding ring on it!
LJUPKA CVETANOVA Definition of Statistics: The science of producing unreliable facts from reliable figures.
EVAN ESAR IF YOU CAN'T THANK GOD FOR WHAT YOU HAVE, THANK HIM FOR WHAT YOU HAVE ESCAPED!
NOT SURE A conservative is a liberal who just got mugged and a liberal is a conservative who just got arreste...
NOT SURE If you are constantly looking in the rear view mirror, how will you ever see what is in front of you...
NOT SURE Automobiles are unreliable and dangerous slaves. They frequently revolt and kill their masters. I ha...
MICHAEL D. O'BRIEN People love to say, “Give a man a fish, and he’ll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he’l...
TREVOR NOAH Never let a boy know you’re crazy about him. He’ll lose interest, and then you’ll be a loser.
HAILEY ABBOTT Memoirs are - memory is - rarely 100 percent accurate. Any autobiography is a construct, ballpark, e...
DARIN STRAUSS Do I have the courage of being a ruthless man to myself with the complete knowledge on my manner or ...
FEREIDOON YAZDI In days long past, Jarod said he’d write a sentence about my love, translated in Russian, and that...
WILL ADVISE We are pleased that President Bush recognizes the need to move the country toward an energy future t...
BOB DINNEEN - Thirteen numbers applied to be on the face of the clock, and I hand selected each one.
- Sele...
STEFAN D When we age we shed many skins: ego, arrognace, dominance, self-opionated, unreliable, pessimism, ru...
STEPHEN RICHARDS As it stands now, close to 8 million voters could be at the mercy of these faulty, unreliable and de...
MARK ROSENBAUM Identification testimony is one of the more unreliable pieces of evidence for the prosecution.
RICHARD HARRIS Memory plays tricks. Memory is another word for story, and nothing is more unreliable.
ANN-MARIE MACDONALD The irrationality of disgust suggests it is unreliable as a source of moral insight. There may be go...
PAUL BLOOM One day he’ll realize he is and was wrong. But that’s for him to figure out. You can’t change ...
DOMINIC RICCITELLO He’ll accept anyone at Hogwarts, s’long as they’ve got the talent. Knows people can turn out O...
J.K. ROWLING He’ll accept anyone at Hogwarts, s’long as they’ve got the talent. Knows people can turn out o...
J.K. ROWLING When I’m running, there’s always this split second when the pain is ripping through me and I can...
LAUREN OLIVER If you put a man in the mindset of romance, his mind will start to create those synapses and he’ll...
ROBERTO HOGUE To be or not to be is not a question of compromise. Either you be or you don't be.
GOLDA MEIR To be mad is worse than not to be if this is what it is.
JOHNNY RICH Hamlet's Cat's Soliloquy

"To go outside, and there perchance to stay
Or to re...
HENRY N. BEARD To be or not to be isn't the question. The question is how to prolong being.
TOM ROBBINS I made a sorry face in response to such strong insistence, but I couldn’t believe him. Fantasies w...
RICHELLE E. GOODRICH After two months of horrible computer problems, I had concluded that the free Windows 10 installatio...
STEVEN MAGEE And because I’m so out of control, I can’t help myself. I’m not even mine anymore, I’m yours...
RAINBOW ROWELL The same way he treats animals and other vulnerable individuals is the same way he’ll relate to yo...
NITYANANDA DAS He’ll accept anyone at Hogwarts, s’long as they’ve got the talent. Knows people can turn out o...
J.K. ROWLING Be who you want to be not what others think you should be.
BILAL SAIF Because I want to be remembered.
SHERMAN ALEXIE Supply of key processors and motherboards was severely constrained, spotty and unreliable, particula...
JOHN TODD Pray without ceasing, say all you can to God and lay all your difficulties before him. He’ll take ...
ISRAELMORE AYIVOR The government over-charged in this case. They underestimated the difficulty in proving these elemen...
CHARLES OGLETREE So, tomorrow, I’m leaving. And I’m not going to let that happen again with anyone else. I’m go...
STEPHEN CHBOSKY Whatever you do, make sure you want to write more than you want to be a writer. Make sure you want t...
BRADLEY WHITFORD Computers can bully us. A slow and unreliable system will bring even the toughest soul to their knee...
LOU FERRIGNO When you're reaching the end of the semester and you just wanna die. Coffin Making 101 is literally ...
KAREN QUAN

More Jarod Kintz

Love is like jumping out of an airplane with no parachute. But there’s no need to be frightened, b...
JAROD KINTZ If there are two men, Rod and Rob, and you can only steal from one, which one would you choose? The ...
JAROD KINTZ She said she was a nurse. I replied that she must have a lot of patience—and patients. I would hav...
JAROD KINTZ I’ll give you 50% off for half a year, or 100% off for a whole year. At these bargain discount pri...
JAROD KINTZ What do you mean love is not for sale? Then what the hell did I just buy? And why is it grandma-shap...
JAROD KINTZ A fly can fly, so man should be called walk. If you want to make love, I’ll bring the wheelchair, ...
JAROD KINTZ When traveling on foot through the Sahara Desert, be sure to pack several gallons of ice cream, and ...
JAROD KINTZ I work in a secret whisper factory. It’s all very hush-hush. Her love for me could be found there,...
JAROD KINTZ I predict that love will burst forth on the Fourth of July. That’s tomorrow, so I’d better prepa...
JAROD KINTZ I will paint a classic car yellow and convert it into a bulldozer. If you need me, I’ll be in the ...
JAROD KINTZ This year I vow to learn how to garden. I will be the Farmer of Love and grow in understanding and f...
JAROD KINTZ Everyone is different from each other, but that doesn’t mean everyone should be indifferent to eac...
JAROD KINTZ Too little light and man can’t see, just as too much light and man is blinded. Love is a light, an...
JAROD KINTZ Don’t sleep with a blindfold on. Sleep with your eyes open and alert, because love may come in you...
JAROD KINTZ Though it comes from her throat, I drink the sound of her voice. Her I love yous dehydrate me, becau...
JAROD KINTZ In today's classroom everybody wins a trophy, even the one kid who actually won. Soon it will be, le...
JAROD KINTZ I’ll repeat phrases over and over in a spiral and use the shape to design a building. Would you re...
JAROD KINTZ We must make love to find out how it’s made. I don’t know what the ingredients are, but I think ...
JAROD KINTZ She bats her eyelashes like I’m throwing baseballs at them. I must be as romantic as Pete Rose’s...
JAROD KINTZ People won't buy study guides for a dollar, but they will pay 100 dollars for test answers. A ‪#st...
JAROD KINTZ I thirst for love like a camel thirsts for water. I’m going through a desert right now, but I’m ...
JAROD KINTZ I cry, but not for myself. There’s too much sadness in this world to waste a moment with self-pity...
JAROD KINTZ My ticket's been bought, and my luggage is packed. I'm storing both of my bags under my eyes. Or am ...
JAROD KINTZ Sleep is the breakfast of champions. This morning I had two big bowls full, each two hours deep.
JAROD KINTZ Even though it’s locked in a cage, my heart is a bird that flutters at the sound of her voice, as ...
JAROD KINTZ I watch you like a mirror, because I see in you what I see in myself. Who we love is a reflection of...
JAROD KINTZ If I were a Wild West cowboy, I wouldn’t ride a horse—I’d ride a wheelchair. More romantic.
JAROD KINTZ I would rather make love than war, but only because condoms kill millions of lives more enjoyably.
JAROD KINTZ Should I go up one flight of stairs and then come back down, or should I go down one flight of stair...
JAROD KINTZ If you were to ask me the best time of day to fall in love, I'd say, "Now." But you'd also have to r...
JAROD KINTZ I’m willing to die for the woman I love. I just want to take 75 years to do it.
JAROD KINTZ The Chair


I’m writing to you, who made the archaic wooden chair
look like a ...
JAROD KINTZ I’m going outside to get a breath of fresh air. Anybody got a cigarette I can have?
JAROD KINTZ I wish my stove came with a Save As button like Word has. That way I could experiment with my cookin...
JAROD KINTZ I like eye contact, but please don’t blink when my eyeballs are touching yours.
JAROD KINTZ Just because I liked something at one point in time doesn’t mean I’ll always like it, or that I ...
JAROD KINTZ Whether you live to be 50 or 100 makes no difference, if you made no difference in the world.
JAROD KINTZ I dance like I have a chip on my shoulder. I dance salsa.
JAROD KINTZ When you're here, I'm there for you. And when you're there, I'm here for you.
JAROD KINTZ Can you break my five-dollar bill into five singles? Women love guys with lots of money.
JAROD KINTZ Wisdom equals knowledge plus courage. You have to not only know what to do and when to do it, but yo...
JAROD KINTZ I wrote a thesis on love, and I wrote it in lipstick. Of course, I also got blood on the paper, beca...
JAROD KINTZ I make love like an albino sings—softly, and from sunset to sunrise (except in Alaska).
JAROD KINTZ I have a stalker, a beautiful one: the sunset. Every day she’s there, watching me, whether I watch...
JAROD KINTZ Writers fish for the right words like fishermen fish for, um, whatever those aquatic creatures with ...
JAROD KINTZ The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car....
JAROD KINTZ One of my main regrets in life is giving considerable thought to inconsiderate people.
JAROD KINTZ Drinking coffee is like drinking an inverse yawn. I prefer mine with two spoonfuls of “I’m liste...
JAROD KINTZ She didn't say it, I only thought she said it. So really it was my thought, my words, and not hers. ...
JAROD KINTZ A wife is a friend first, a lover second, and third and probably most important, a maid.
JAROD KINTZ I am the archaeologist of love. I’m digging for the bones of a loved one I shot and buried decades...
JAROD KINTZ Love is like a forest, I think as I kill trees by squandering toilet paper while “decorating” my...
JAROD KINTZ I think Gummy Bears should be the universal symbol for peace, because peace leads to prosperity, pro...
JAROD KINTZ Pick a number between one to ten. Now, pick the number that you think I picked you to pick.

JAROD KINTZ When I hear someone’s sick, my first thought is selfishly, Better him than me. My second thought i...
JAROD KINTZ It’s absolutely unfair for women to say that guys only want one thing: sex. We also want food.
JAROD KINTZ To Do Today, 1/17/08
1. Sit and think
2. Reach enlightenment
3. Feed the cats
JAROD KINTZ I’m not a very good sleeper. But you know what? I’m willing to put in a few extra hours every da...
JAROD KINTZ If coffee meant vagina, I’d ask you if you wanted cream in your coffee. But it doesn’t mean that...
JAROD KINTZ Here's a haiku/palindrome I wrote called, "Obsession."

Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob,
Bob,...
JAROD KINTZ When I say something, I mean what I say, despite what a dictionary says I mean. Meanings of words ar...
JAROD KINTZ My life motto: My brakes are broke, but luckily my gas pedal works just fine.

JAROD KINTZ If I were to come back in another life, I’d like to be reincarnated as my own clone.
JAROD KINTZ I wouldn’t advise making a four-year commitment to eventually land an $8.00/hour job. Skip college...
JAROD KINTZ College has given me the confidence I need to fail.

JAROD KINTZ If flowers were boogers, I'd pick a few big ones and flick them on your grave.
JAROD KINTZ I want to grow a flower for every time someone tells me “F*** you.” Then I’ll go back to that ...
JAROD KINTZ Goodbyes, they often come in waves.
JAROD KINTZ The mouth is made for communication,and nothing is more articulate than a kiss
JAROD KINTZ Leave me with my leftover meatloaf and my Yesterday Sandwich. I’ll be in love tomorrow, if you com...
JAROD KINTZ I run like I have cirrus clouds for legs and rainbow knees. What is life, if not a marathon of love?...
JAROD KINTZ I loved her like elephants like remembering stuff. Those bastards just won’t let me forget and mov...
JAROD KINTZ I coiled my empty straw wrapper around like a snake. Then I bit it before it could bite me. My love ...
JAROD KINTZ Love is like breakfast with Mildred. Who’s Mildred? How the heck should I know? I don’t eat brea...
JAROD KINTZ Love is a circular emotion that surrounds you, like a hug. Or a noose.
JAROD KINTZ I cut an inch off of every straw I see, just to make the world suck a little less.

JAROD KINTZ I don’t know what’s in the box, but I love it. Unopened gifts contain hope.

JAROD KINTZ My next breath may very well be in your lungs. Store it wisely, because my life depends on it.

JAROD KINTZ It’s what you do in your free time that will set you free—or enslave you.
JAROD KINTZ I can bench press steam, but not fog. I just have to wait until the fog lifts itself.

JAROD KINTZ When faced with two equally tough choices, most people choose the third choice: to not choose.
JAROD KINTZ The year you were born marks only your entry into the world. Other years where you prove your worth,...
JAROD KINTZ Sometimes the thing that brings us together also pulls us apart. Sort of like a zipper.
JAROD KINTZ One of the most productive ways a government can spend money on the people is by building more priso...
JAROD KINTZ With my last breath, I’ll exhale my love for you. I hope it’s a cold day, so you can see what yo...
JAROD KINTZ I find out a lot about myself by sleeping. Dreams, they are who I am when I’m too tired to be me.
JAROD KINTZ Patience and wisdom walk hand in hand, like two one-armed lovers.
JAROD KINTZ You can’t put a price tag on love. But if you could, I’d wait for it to go on sale.
JAROD KINTZ The best part about having children is being able to point at them and proudly proclaim, "Hey, I mad...
JAROD KINTZ Can America get back to a point where politicians are honest? Not unless that point is the tip of a ...
JAROD KINTZ She looked like the kind of woman I could fall in love with. Trouble is, she was standing next to th...
JAROD KINTZ Insider trading is a serious crime. Do you know what the penalty for doing it is? Nothing, if you’...
JAROD KINTZ I had a dream about you. We were at a buffet, but instead of eating food, we were forced to eat our ...
JAROD KINTZ I had a dream about you. We were fishing in the Utah desert. You caught a dinosaur, but due to Feder...
JAROD KINTZ I had a dream about you. We were in a band. I was the lead singer, guitar player, saxophonist, harpi...
JAROD KINTZ Reading—it’s the third best thing to do in bed.
JAROD KINTZ Blood may be thicker than water, but it's certainly not as thick as ketchup. Nor does it go as well ...
JAROD KINTZ If I told you I’ve worked hard to get where I’m at, I’d be lying, because I have no idea where...
JAROD KINTZ Love one person at a time, that’s the motto I’ll try to get my clones to live by.
JAROD KINTZ I have a beard of fog that I wear on misty mornings. It’s not cigarette smoke, but I’d understan...
JAROD KINTZ I’m not waiting until my hair turns white to become patient and wise. Nope, I’m dyeing my hair t...
JAROD KINTZ I think the key indicator for wealth is not good grades, work ethic, or IQ. I believe it's relations...
JAROD KINTZ A traditional doctor gets paid to push pills, vaccinate, radiate, and basically exterminate people. ...
JAROD KINTZ I am the sunrise of sunsets, and I make love like noon at midnight.
JAROD KINTZ Laughter is the sound of the soul dancing. My soul probably looks like Fred Astaire.
JAROD KINTZ Roses may say “I love you,” but the cactus says “Fuck off.
JAROD KINTZ Love may make you feel blue, love may make you feel green, and sometimes love may even make you feel...
JAROD KINTZ Two become one when two are in love—or when the waitress asks about our dinner bill. I’ll pay ne...
JAROD KINTZ Love is the jelly to sunshine’s peanut butter. And if I tell you that I’m in sandwich with you, ...
JAROD KINTZ I talked to a calzone for fifteen minutes last night before I realized it was just an introverted pi...
JAROD KINTZ It was impressive that their team had all the momentum and we kept our composure and executed our of...
VIC KINTZ One game in this region could be the matter of going to the state tournament or sitting home and wat...
JAROD INGERSOLL He's a great hitter, and he's got that kind of pop in his bat.
JAROD INGERSOLL Whenever he's had proper rest, he just flat out pitches for us. He was hitting his spots, and he mix...
JAROD INGERSOLL When we come to play with enthusiasm, and we're all together, we're a pretty good team.
JAROD INGERSOLL He's (Smith) a good pitcher. We know he's one of the top three pitchers in the state. We know he's a...
JAROD INGERSOLL He's been solid all year for us in middle relief, and he came in and got the job done again today.
JAROD INGERSOLL The baseball here is just a lot of fun right now. The kids all love baseball. They love to play it a...
JAROD INGERSOLL This is my favorite tournament I've been to since I've been coaching here (American Fork). I love Br...
JAROD INGERSOLL The facilities departments will have command centers set up at both the North and South sites. It wi...
JAROD TUFTS Without proper communication, people will wonder why they're left in the dark, and assume the worst.
JAROD TUFTS For the administrators who dial in from California, yeah, I'm concerned, but in many cases I didn't ...
JAROD TUFTS In some cases this person will be on-site, but in many cases they won't.
JAROD TUFTS We're not complacent, but we have an extreme sense of confidence in our status for the transition. W...
JAROD TUFTS He's been the catalyst for our team all season.
JAROD INGERSOLL