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My life motto: My brakes are broke, but luckily my gas pedal works just fine.



Jarod Kintz

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My motto - sans limites.
ISADORA DUNCAN Always say the truth even if it hurts as long as it helps.
CASEY ALEXANDER SCHOTT slap a bitch kill a hoe
DALLY SALAD My grandpa, unlike Jarod Kintz, was an Elder. Now that he's dead and gone, he's a ghost French wizar...
WILL ADVISE teacher:"I'm teacher, not because i want to teach children something. I am teacher just because I li...
MY TEACHER I hate when I'm not done with my cup but my mom decides to put it in the dishwasher anyway and the c...
KAREN QUAN I really hate that I need my glasses while using my laptop. What I hate even more is that I need tho...
KAREN QUAN When I battle wits with Jarod Kintz I always feel like I need to take my brain out to give him a tra...
WILL ADVISE If I were offering hip replacement services I'd use Jarod Kintz as my spokesman. No one can possibly...
WILL ADVISE Good riddance to bad rubbish.
RODMAN PHILBRICK My motto in life is, 'If anything is worth doing, it's worth overdoing.'
DANNY BONADUCE 'If you believe, you can achieve' - that's my motto!
SOPHIE TURNER My motto is: feel the fear and do it anyway.
TAMARA MELLON Travel like a pro, not like a hobo. That's my motto.
GREG GUTFELD I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop,...
STEVEN WRIGHT I'm gonna go put my earplugs in and practice piano for hours until my fingers bleed. I practice the ...
KAREN QUAN I dreamt that ‪@mark_wahlberg‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬ and his ...
CRYSTAL WOODS He broke my heart. You merely broke my life.
VLADIMIR NABOKOV My heart is burning a hole in my chest and every time you speak to me, it keeps sinking, and I'm lef...
KAREN QUAN How can you tell a story with one frame that, by its simplicity, manages to tell a story, a gag that...
PIERRE COFFIN My motto is, 'Never quit.'
HENRY ROLLINS My motto is, you have to get in a sport a day.
PAUL WALKER Never trust a hippie. That's definitely my motto.
SAM TAYLOR-WOOD Of course, my motto is still, 'Work is work, private is private.'
AYUMI HAMASAKI What's my motto when it comes to money? Don't put so much emphasis on it!
JANICE DICKINSON It has been a motto of mine my whole life - just be yourself.
PATRICK KANE If any man hates me,he is the luckiest person in the world,because I always pray for my enemies.
JOSEPH BOAZ My life motto is 'Do my best, so that I can't blame myself for anything.'
MAGDALENA NEUNER Jarod Kintz gets so many retweets, he’s like Katniss Everdeen with tourettes in a forest full of M...
RYAN LILLY - Why is depression the blues and not the grays?
- Because racer!
-Jarod Kintz and Stefan...
STEFAN D abundant feeling of your presence in front of Allah is enjoy full solitude state where you are in bo...
M.I.SHAIKH MY SELF It's raining spiders, seriously. Maybe that's a bad sign.
MY MORNING JACKET At Dawn/Tennessee Fire Demos
MY MORNING JACKET You go up there and it's just this amazing place on top of a mountain,
MY MORNING JACKET When you're reaching the end of the semester and you just wanna die. Coffin Making 101 is literally ...
KAREN QUAN My brother broke into a toothy grin. "Yay! Your brain works!
RICK RIORDAN My motto is: more good times.
JACK NICHOLSON My motto is that the audience should notice the actors, not the clothes.
EDITH HEAD Concentration is my motto - first honesty, then industry, then concentration.
ANDREW CARNEGIE My motto is to go wild on the accessories - the belts, the hair clips, the jewelery.
HEIDI KLUM I'm the most Failure Model of My parents activities
SATHESH KUMAR M Be unprepared, that's my motto. Let life surprise you.
MARTY RUBIN If you were to ask Jarod Kintz‬‬‬ what his personal favourite joke was, he'd say the one with ...
STEFAN D " My entrance maybe forgotten, but it will be my exit that will leave an indelible impression upon e...
PAULL PINETTE I saw better life to his fastball, much better life. I can't sit here and tell you what the velocity...
JIM TRACY Music is my life - acting's just a hobby.
STEVE BURNS It's my motto for life. 'Walk slowly; drink lots of water.
HARUKI MURAKAMI My house and my family are fine but my living is totally destroyed.
MARTIN BUCHANAN I'm just living my life.
CURTIS JOSEPH Music is my life.
ROBERT ILER I don't want to be on the road all my life.
AARON NEVILLE Dropbox is my life.
DREW HOUSTON I risked my life.
LECH WALESA I don't have to prove my life. I just have to live.
DANIEL BERRIGAN Exercise is just part of my life.
BILL NELSON I was just so blatantly shy throughout my life.
DANNY AIELLO I'm fine, and my hips are fine. My false knee is fine. My false hips are fine. Everything's ...
LIZA MINNELLI Be unprepared, that's my motto. Be unprepared, and let life overwhelm you.
MARTY RUBIN When Jarod Kintz gets married, I want to wear his grandpa to the ceremony, telling everyone we're Si...
WILL ADVISE The acclaim I'm getting for 'The Wrestler' means everything in the world to me. But it a...
MICKEY ROURKE My life and career is my own adventure.
DARIO ARGENTO My motto: 'No good movie is depressing. All bad movies are depressing.'
ROGER EBERT My motto is: Live every day to the fullest - in moderation.
LINDSAY LOHAN My motto is to do everything absolutely flat out and to the best of your ability.
ALLAN MCNISH Here's kind of my motto - if you're not happy at home, you're not happy anywhere else.
ANGIE HARMON I spend half my time just living my life, and the other half analyzing it.
DAVID SCHWIMMER Music is my life. It is sacred.
JIMMY CHAMBERLIN There's been nothing but discipline, discipline, discipline all my life.
CELINE DION All my life, people have been underestimating me.
HUGH CAREY My family's just too busy. My two sisters are in college full-time and my brother works full-time.
MATT KRAMER To have the knowledge that would make my father proud is a gift that has not been handed to me on a ...
GARY F EVANS... Freedom carries sacrifice,
3 DOORS DOWN Luckily my cell phone was still in my pocket.
LIZ YOUNGWIRTH I was just living my life, and that's what I wanted to do.
FRED KOREMATSU I've always been one to throw caution to the wind, and my motto has been, 'Never have a dull...
CARLENE CARTER I put all my genius into my life; I put only my talent into my works.
OSCAR WILDE My motto in life is 'Take risks;' you don't have a voice if you don't. You have to v...
KELLY WEARSTLER I lost my brakes. My brakes went loose to the car, and I decided to pull into the bus terminal to pr...
ANTHONY PAYNE It definitely affects your home life, but luckily my wife has been behind me 120 percent. She handle...
DAN GREGG It's my life. It just continues to go forward from 'The Apprentice.'
DONALD TRUMP I just have beautiful memories of what has happened in my life.
PERSIS KHAMBATTA Luckily, my husband is my business partner as well as my life partner, so I never had to do the heav...
JOSIE MARAN You are bound, my hunch is, to make it just fine.
JAMES DICKEY My life is my message.
MAHATMA GANDHI Authenticity is my life.
SELENA GOMEZ My life began with Ronnie.
NANCY REAGAN Soccer is my life.
ETHAN ZOHN Cotton is my life.
BILLY BALDWIN My life is fulfilled.
BUBBA WATSON I've not conducted my life in the service of smallness.
BARRY DILLER Well, I've been a fan of videogames all my life.
MICHAEL STRAHAN I've sung other people's music all my life.
ADAM LAMBERT I have a self-defense mind. I've had it all my life.
CONOR MCGREGOR My father was a military attache, so I've been traveling all my life.
EDGAR RAMIREZ You broke my heart.
You broke my.
You broke.
You.
And me.
ALI LAND I blame my dad for my sweet tooth. His motto was 'Life is short; eat dessert first.' How can I argue...
WENDY MASS Take your feet of of the brakes, push the pedal, give yourself the green light and be unstoppable.
CATRICE M. JACKSON I just got tired. I hadn't started a game in a month. And after throwing long toss, then a bullpen, ...
GIL MECHE - Thirteen numbers applied to be on the face of the clock, and I hand selected each one.
- Sele...
STEFAN D Clouds suit my mood just fine.
MARIE LU

More Jarod Kintz

Love is like jumping out of an airplane with no parachute. But there’s no need to be frightened, b...
JAROD KINTZ If there are two men, Rod and Rob, and you can only steal from one, which one would you choose? The ...
JAROD KINTZ She said she was a nurse. I replied that she must have a lot of patience—and patients. I would hav...
JAROD KINTZ I’ll give you 50% off for half a year, or 100% off for a whole year. At these bargain discount pri...
JAROD KINTZ What do you mean love is not for sale? Then what the hell did I just buy? And why is it grandma-shap...
JAROD KINTZ A fly can fly, so man should be called walk. If you want to make love, I’ll bring the wheelchair, ...
JAROD KINTZ When traveling on foot through the Sahara Desert, be sure to pack several gallons of ice cream, and ...
JAROD KINTZ I work in a secret whisper factory. It’s all very hush-hush. Her love for me could be found there,...
JAROD KINTZ I predict that love will burst forth on the Fourth of July. That’s tomorrow, so I’d better prepa...
JAROD KINTZ I will paint a classic car yellow and convert it into a bulldozer. If you need me, I’ll be in the ...
JAROD KINTZ This year I vow to learn how to garden. I will be the Farmer of Love and grow in understanding and f...
JAROD KINTZ Everyone is different from each other, but that doesn’t mean everyone should be indifferent to eac...
JAROD KINTZ Too little light and man can’t see, just as too much light and man is blinded. Love is a light, an...
JAROD KINTZ Don’t sleep with a blindfold on. Sleep with your eyes open and alert, because love may come in you...
JAROD KINTZ Though it comes from her throat, I drink the sound of her voice. Her I love yous dehydrate me, becau...
JAROD KINTZ In today's classroom everybody wins a trophy, even the one kid who actually won. Soon it will be, le...
JAROD KINTZ I’ll repeat phrases over and over in a spiral and use the shape to design a building. Would you re...
JAROD KINTZ We must make love to find out how it’s made. I don’t know what the ingredients are, but I think ...
JAROD KINTZ She bats her eyelashes like I’m throwing baseballs at them. I must be as romantic as Pete Rose’s...
JAROD KINTZ People won't buy study guides for a dollar, but they will pay 100 dollars for test answers. A ‪#st...
JAROD KINTZ I thirst for love like a camel thirsts for water. I’m going through a desert right now, but I’m ...
JAROD KINTZ I cry, but not for myself. There’s too much sadness in this world to waste a moment with self-pity...
JAROD KINTZ My ticket's been bought, and my luggage is packed. I'm storing both of my bags under my eyes. Or am ...
JAROD KINTZ Sleep is the breakfast of champions. This morning I had two big bowls full, each two hours deep.
JAROD KINTZ Even though it’s locked in a cage, my heart is a bird that flutters at the sound of her voice, as ...
JAROD KINTZ I watch you like a mirror, because I see in you what I see in myself. Who we love is a reflection of...
JAROD KINTZ If I were a Wild West cowboy, I wouldn’t ride a horse—I’d ride a wheelchair. More romantic.
JAROD KINTZ I would rather make love than war, but only because condoms kill millions of lives more enjoyably.
JAROD KINTZ Should I go up one flight of stairs and then come back down, or should I go down one flight of stair...
JAROD KINTZ If you were to ask me the best time of day to fall in love, I'd say, "Now." But you'd also have to r...
JAROD KINTZ I’m willing to die for the woman I love. I just want to take 75 years to do it.
JAROD KINTZ The Chair


I’m writing to you, who made the archaic wooden chair
look like a ...
JAROD KINTZ I’m going outside to get a breath of fresh air. Anybody got a cigarette I can have?
JAROD KINTZ I wish my stove came with a Save As button like Word has. That way I could experiment with my cookin...
JAROD KINTZ I want to write an unreliable narrator. In fact, he’ll be so unreliable that I’m not even sure h...
JAROD KINTZ I like eye contact, but please don’t blink when my eyeballs are touching yours.
JAROD KINTZ Just because I liked something at one point in time doesn’t mean I’ll always like it, or that I ...
JAROD KINTZ Whether you live to be 50 or 100 makes no difference, if you made no difference in the world.
JAROD KINTZ I dance like I have a chip on my shoulder. I dance salsa.
JAROD KINTZ When you're here, I'm there for you. And when you're there, I'm here for you.
JAROD KINTZ Can you break my five-dollar bill into five singles? Women love guys with lots of money.
JAROD KINTZ Wisdom equals knowledge plus courage. You have to not only know what to do and when to do it, but yo...
JAROD KINTZ I wrote a thesis on love, and I wrote it in lipstick. Of course, I also got blood on the paper, beca...
JAROD KINTZ I make love like an albino sings—softly, and from sunset to sunrise (except in Alaska).
JAROD KINTZ I have a stalker, a beautiful one: the sunset. Every day she’s there, watching me, whether I watch...
JAROD KINTZ Writers fish for the right words like fishermen fish for, um, whatever those aquatic creatures with ...
JAROD KINTZ The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car....
JAROD KINTZ One of my main regrets in life is giving considerable thought to inconsiderate people.
JAROD KINTZ Drinking coffee is like drinking an inverse yawn. I prefer mine with two spoonfuls of “I’m liste...
JAROD KINTZ She didn't say it, I only thought she said it. So really it was my thought, my words, and not hers. ...
JAROD KINTZ A wife is a friend first, a lover second, and third and probably most important, a maid.
JAROD KINTZ I am the archaeologist of love. I’m digging for the bones of a loved one I shot and buried decades...
JAROD KINTZ Love is like a forest, I think as I kill trees by squandering toilet paper while “decorating” my...
JAROD KINTZ I think Gummy Bears should be the universal symbol for peace, because peace leads to prosperity, pro...
JAROD KINTZ Pick a number between one to ten. Now, pick the number that you think I picked you to pick.

JAROD KINTZ When I hear someone’s sick, my first thought is selfishly, Better him than me. My second thought i...
JAROD KINTZ It’s absolutely unfair for women to say that guys only want one thing: sex. We also want food.
JAROD KINTZ To Do Today, 1/17/08
1. Sit and think
2. Reach enlightenment
3. Feed the cats
JAROD KINTZ I’m not a very good sleeper. But you know what? I’m willing to put in a few extra hours every da...
JAROD KINTZ If coffee meant vagina, I’d ask you if you wanted cream in your coffee. But it doesn’t mean that...
JAROD KINTZ Here's a haiku/palindrome I wrote called, "Obsession."

Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob,
Bob,...
JAROD KINTZ When I say something, I mean what I say, despite what a dictionary says I mean. Meanings of words ar...
JAROD KINTZ If I were to come back in another life, I’d like to be reincarnated as my own clone.
JAROD KINTZ I wouldn’t advise making a four-year commitment to eventually land an $8.00/hour job. Skip college...
JAROD KINTZ College has given me the confidence I need to fail.

JAROD KINTZ If flowers were boogers, I'd pick a few big ones and flick them on your grave.
JAROD KINTZ I want to grow a flower for every time someone tells me “F*** you.” Then I’ll go back to that ...
JAROD KINTZ Goodbyes, they often come in waves.
JAROD KINTZ The mouth is made for communication,and nothing is more articulate than a kiss
JAROD KINTZ Leave me with my leftover meatloaf and my Yesterday Sandwich. I’ll be in love tomorrow, if you com...
JAROD KINTZ I run like I have cirrus clouds for legs and rainbow knees. What is life, if not a marathon of love?...
JAROD KINTZ I loved her like elephants like remembering stuff. Those bastards just won’t let me forget and mov...
JAROD KINTZ I coiled my empty straw wrapper around like a snake. Then I bit it before it could bite me. My love ...
JAROD KINTZ Love is like breakfast with Mildred. Who’s Mildred? How the heck should I know? I don’t eat brea...
JAROD KINTZ Love is a circular emotion that surrounds you, like a hug. Or a noose.
JAROD KINTZ I cut an inch off of every straw I see, just to make the world suck a little less.

JAROD KINTZ I don’t know what’s in the box, but I love it. Unopened gifts contain hope.

JAROD KINTZ My next breath may very well be in your lungs. Store it wisely, because my life depends on it.

JAROD KINTZ It’s what you do in your free time that will set you free—or enslave you.
JAROD KINTZ I can bench press steam, but not fog. I just have to wait until the fog lifts itself.

JAROD KINTZ When faced with two equally tough choices, most people choose the third choice: to not choose.
JAROD KINTZ The year you were born marks only your entry into the world. Other years where you prove your worth,...
JAROD KINTZ Sometimes the thing that brings us together also pulls us apart. Sort of like a zipper.
JAROD KINTZ One of the most productive ways a government can spend money on the people is by building more priso...
JAROD KINTZ With my last breath, I’ll exhale my love for you. I hope it’s a cold day, so you can see what yo...
JAROD KINTZ I find out a lot about myself by sleeping. Dreams, they are who I am when I’m too tired to be me.
JAROD KINTZ Patience and wisdom walk hand in hand, like two one-armed lovers.
JAROD KINTZ You can’t put a price tag on love. But if you could, I’d wait for it to go on sale.
JAROD KINTZ The best part about having children is being able to point at them and proudly proclaim, "Hey, I mad...
JAROD KINTZ Can America get back to a point where politicians are honest? Not unless that point is the tip of a ...
JAROD KINTZ She looked like the kind of woman I could fall in love with. Trouble is, she was standing next to th...
JAROD KINTZ Insider trading is a serious crime. Do you know what the penalty for doing it is? Nothing, if you’...
JAROD KINTZ I had a dream about you. We were at a buffet, but instead of eating food, we were forced to eat our ...
JAROD KINTZ I had a dream about you. We were fishing in the Utah desert. You caught a dinosaur, but due to Feder...
JAROD KINTZ I had a dream about you. We were in a band. I was the lead singer, guitar player, saxophonist, harpi...
JAROD KINTZ Reading—it’s the third best thing to do in bed.
JAROD KINTZ Blood may be thicker than water, but it's certainly not as thick as ketchup. Nor does it go as well ...
JAROD KINTZ If I told you I’ve worked hard to get where I’m at, I’d be lying, because I have no idea where...
JAROD KINTZ Love one person at a time, that’s the motto I’ll try to get my clones to live by.
JAROD KINTZ I have a beard of fog that I wear on misty mornings. It’s not cigarette smoke, but I’d understan...
JAROD KINTZ I’m not waiting until my hair turns white to become patient and wise. Nope, I’m dyeing my hair t...
JAROD KINTZ I think the key indicator for wealth is not good grades, work ethic, or IQ. I believe it's relations...
JAROD KINTZ A traditional doctor gets paid to push pills, vaccinate, radiate, and basically exterminate people. ...
JAROD KINTZ I am the sunrise of sunsets, and I make love like noon at midnight.
JAROD KINTZ Laughter is the sound of the soul dancing. My soul probably looks like Fred Astaire.
JAROD KINTZ Roses may say “I love you,” but the cactus says “Fuck off.
JAROD KINTZ Love may make you feel blue, love may make you feel green, and sometimes love may even make you feel...
JAROD KINTZ Two become one when two are in love—or when the waitress asks about our dinner bill. I’ll pay ne...
JAROD KINTZ Love is the jelly to sunshine’s peanut butter. And if I tell you that I’m in sandwich with you, ...
JAROD KINTZ I talked to a calzone for fifteen minutes last night before I realized it was just an introverted pi...
JAROD KINTZ It was impressive that their team had all the momentum and we kept our composure and executed our of...
VIC KINTZ One game in this region could be the matter of going to the state tournament or sitting home and wat...
JAROD INGERSOLL He's a great hitter, and he's got that kind of pop in his bat.
JAROD INGERSOLL Whenever he's had proper rest, he just flat out pitches for us. He was hitting his spots, and he mix...
JAROD INGERSOLL When we come to play with enthusiasm, and we're all together, we're a pretty good team.
JAROD INGERSOLL He's (Smith) a good pitcher. We know he's one of the top three pitchers in the state. We know he's a...
JAROD INGERSOLL He's been solid all year for us in middle relief, and he came in and got the job done again today.
JAROD INGERSOLL The baseball here is just a lot of fun right now. The kids all love baseball. They love to play it a...
JAROD INGERSOLL This is my favorite tournament I've been to since I've been coaching here (American Fork). I love Br...
JAROD INGERSOLL The facilities departments will have command centers set up at both the North and South sites. It wi...
JAROD TUFTS Without proper communication, people will wonder why they're left in the dark, and assume the worst.
JAROD TUFTS For the administrators who dial in from California, yeah, I'm concerned, but in many cases I didn't ...
JAROD TUFTS In some cases this person will be on-site, but in many cases they won't.
JAROD TUFTS We're not complacent, but we have an extreme sense of confidence in our status for the transition. W...
JAROD TUFTS He's been the catalyst for our team all season.
JAROD INGERSOLL