I’ll give you 50% off for half a year, or 100% off for a whole year. At these bargain discount prices, my love won’t last forever.

One of the most productive ways a government can spend money on the people is by building more prisons. That’s what makes the US so great. That’s what freedom is all about.


I don’t know what’s in the box, but I love it. Unopened gifts contain hope.


My next breath may very well be in your lungs. Store it wisely, because my life depends on it.


It’s what you do in your free time that will set you free—or enslave you.

I can bench press steam, but not fog. I just have to wait until the fog lifts itself.