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H. L. Mencken quote: "Henry James would have been vastly improved as a novelist by a few whiffs of the Chicago stockyard."

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Henry James would have been vastly improved as a novelist by a few whiffs of the Chicago stockyard.


H. L. Mencken


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As the arteries grow hard, the heart grows soft. -H. L. Mencken.
H. L. MENCKEN
Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. -H. L. Mencken.
H. L. MENCKEN
As the arteries grow hard, the heart grows soft. thanks to Alan Bennett -H. L. Mencken.
H. L. MENCKEN
and the girl and I get into her car and drive off into the hills and we go to her room and I take of...
BRET EASTON ELLIS
Though there are some notable exceptions, by and large the persistent ranting of the Warren Commissi...
VINCENT BUGLIOSI
Conversation would be vastly improved by the constant use of four simple words: I do not know.
ANDRE MAUROIS
Conversation would be vastly improved by the constant use of four simple words: I do not know
ANDRE MAUROIS
There are a number of teams that would become vastly improved with Drew Bledsoe.
AL MICHAELS
The tattoo is just setting below his hp bone.
H e l l i s e m p t y
a n d a l l t h e d ...
TAHEREH MAFI
Both [P. T.] Barnum and H. L. Mencken are said to have made the depressing observation that no one e...
CARL SAGAN
The work of Henry James has always seemed divisible by a simple dynastic arrangement into three reig...
PHILIP GUEDALLA
I I I I I I t t t t t t i i i i i i s s s s s s u u u u u u n n n n n n f f f f f f o o o o o o r r ...
TODD COBURN
Henry James writes fiction as if it were a painful duty.
OSCAR WILDE
...they'll say, 'He never recovered from that breakdown and this was the result. It had to be the br...
PHILIP ROTH
Love, what you DO, Respect, who DOES for you, Appreciate, who DOES for others, Salute, who DOES for ...
PRITISH PATTANAIK
Mr. Henry James writes fiction as if it were a painful duty.
OSCAR WILDE
Gimme an S! A T! An O! A C! Followed by a K-H-O-L-M! What's it spell? HEAD FUCK.

- Jane
J.R. WARD
Don’t be so hard on yourself, You’re doing the same thing, trying to reconcile all the moms that...
CHRISTOPHER MOORE
Maybe that's what praying is all about. Maybe it's not just asking God to forgive us for bad things ...
SARAH DARER LITTMAN
Only fools wait, and only tools bait.
CRE
There are approximately two trillion cells in the human body. You are never alone, there are always ...
DWIGHT W. HAYES
I will never let you know how much you hurt me
No, I will never tell you
The lasts few m...
HENRY ROLLINS
You must save what you can of your life; you musn't lose it all simply because you've lost a part.
HENRY JAMES
On a book by Henry James: "Once you put it down, you simply can't pick it up.
MARK TWAIN
I had the idea in my twenties that a writer could immediately become the late Henry James. Henry Jam...
CYNTHIA OZICK
It's time now to rent a car, roll down the windows and prepare for your first big thrill: the freewa...
JOHN WATERS
The nearest we have to a Henry James or an Edith Wharton of the East Coast's Wasp upper classes.
CHARLOTTE CURTIS
You've got to S-M-I-L-E
To be H-A-Double-P-Y
SHIRLEY TEMPLE BLACK
I liked teaching Henry James. When you look down at a Henry James novel from a helicopter height, yo...
HELEN VENDLER
Henry James's later works would have been better had he resisted that curious sort of self-indul...
JOYCE CAROL OATES
I can manage a prose format as long as I keep closer to Laurence Sterne than to Henry James.
DAVID ANTIN
HELP = H(umor), E-go, edging God out, L-istening, P-urpose
KEN BLANCHARD
HELP = H(umor), E-go, edging God out, L-istening, P-urpose.
KEN BLANCHARD
The goal of argumentation is to make a case so forceful (note the metaphor) that skeptics are coerce...
STEVEN PINKER
The nearest we have to a Henry James or an Edith Wharton of the East Coast's Wasp upper classes.
CHARLOTTE CURTIS
Alone, you're vastly outnumbered; but in the company of another, by some weird miracle of human math...
CHARLES D'AMBROSIO
The news today is just the tip of the iceberg for L & H. This is a classic story of the chicken comi...
LANNY DAVIS
A lot of teenagers write to me and say "I want to write a book. I want to get published." And those ...
MAUREEN JOHNSON
She wasn't bitter. She was sad, though. But it was a hopeful kind of sad. The kind of sad that just ...
STEPHEN CHBOSKY
So, I guess we are who we are for alot of reasons. And maybe we'll never know most of them. But even...
STEPHEN CHBOSKY
I love my mom so much. I don't care if that's corny to say. I think on my next birthday, I'm going t...
STEPHEN CHBOSKY
We Are All Infinite
STEPHEN CHBOSKY
(All the grief she had suffered over her lifetime had moulded her face into a mask of eternal sadnes...
JEAN SASSON
You can't just sit there and put everyone's lives ahead of yours and think that counts as love. You ...
STEPHEN CHBOSKY
I saw other people there. Old men sitting alone. Young girls with blue eye shadow and awkward jaws. ...
STEPHEN CHBOSKY
That one moment when you know you are not a sad story. You are ALIVE.
STEPHAN CHBOSKY
Somos quienes somos por un montón de razones.Quizás nunca conozcamos la mayoría de ellas.Pero aun...
STEPHEN CHBOSKY
Ambos dijeron que tomara asiento y parecían hablar en serio, así que me senté.
STEPHEN CHBOSKY
I know these will all be stories some day, and our pictures will become old photographs. We all beco...
STEPHEN CHBOSKY
So I guess we are who we are for a lot of reasons. And maybewe'll never know most of them.
STEPHEN CHBOSKY
So I guess we are who we are for a lot of reasons. And maybe we'll never know most of them.
STEPHEN CHBOSKY
There's nothing like the deep breathes after laughing that hard. Nothing in the world like a sore st...
STHEPHEN CHBOSKY
no more pencils, no more books, no more teachers' dirty looks, when the teacher rings the bell, drop...
STEPHEN CHBOSKY
I don't know the significance of this, but I find it very interesting.
STEPHEN CHBOSKY
Maybe it’s sad that these are now memories. And maybe it’s not sad.
STEPHEN CHBOSKY
Christine vastly improved her defense to a level where she was one of the top on ball defenders in t...
CRAIG CAMPBELL
Accept that the moment you buy your latest iPad, iPhone, tablet, app or game it will be promptly fol...
SIMON MAINWARING
I have only read very classic traditional English ghost stories, other than Henry James, who wrote s...
SUSAN HILL
A trio of reputations lie at the heart of Henry James's 'The Portrait of a Lady.'
TINA BROWN
Unsubscribe from should-a, would-a, could-a
MICHAEL H. DANSBURY
Aside from a few master teachers that we have had over the years, this has been a completely local t...
KATHERINE DUNHAM
Henry James was one of the nicest old ladies I ever met.
WILLIAM FAULKNER
I would never have become music director of the Chicago Symphony, which would have been an extremely...
GEORG SOLTI
Because psychologists have been able to discover, exactly as in a slow-motion picture, the way the h...
PEARL S. BUCK
The buried code of many American films has become: If I kill you, I have won and you have lost. The ...
ROGER EBERT
As a kid I read Jules Verne, H. G. Wells, and a few others. As an adult have admired Leonardo da Vin...
VIGGO MORTENSEN
The answer isn't more time but a greater awareness of the time we have.
CRAIG GROESCHEL
Henry James chews more than he bites off.
In Cloud computing the difference between a dark cloud and a cloud with a silver lining, is the part...
RAJAT MOHAN
In a world where pleasure rules, people tend to be undeveloped in every way. " A House Like a Lotus
MADELEINE L’ENGLE
And even if you do wear a maid outfit, it doesn't change the fact that you're strong or that you're ...
HIRO FUJIWARA
Hell has been described as a pocket edition of Chicago.
ASHLEY MONTAGU
If we tend to the things that are important in life, if we are right with those we love, and behave ...
MITCH ALBOM
I was very grateful to have heard it again. Because I guess we all forget sometimes. And I think eve...
STEPHEN CHBOSKY
I guess we are who we are for a lot of reasons. And maybe we'll never know most of them. But even if...
STEPHEN CHBOSKY
I've always loved Dickens. And Henry James. Tolstoy, Dostoevski.
NORMAN ROCKWELL
Would you want you as a friend?
PETER STROPLE
It should not be surprised by seeing in our weird world that the people for enjoying own bread can a...
ANUJ SOMANY
Everyone out there is using you for their entertainment and what you mostly need is to be entertainm...
SUPERNA BATHEJA
There is only enough time in this world for me to be me. I don't have time to be anyone else." H,L,S...
SUSIE L HILL
Well, you can't know it without something having been sneezed.
A.A. MILNE
We'll be Friends Forever, won't we, Pooh?' asked Piglet.
Even longer,' Pooh answered.”
...
A.A. MILNE
I am often asked how it is that I am able to value people to such a deep degree. Apparently, I exhib...
C. JOYBELL C.
Many of the writers who have inspired me most are outside the genre: Humorists like Robert Benchley ...
JOHN SCALZI
And then, as if written by the hand of a bad novelist, an incredible thing happened.
JONATHAN STROUD
Stephen picks up on Armstrong's pier, and calls Kingstown pier "a disappointed bridge" (2.22)...
JAMES JOYCE
I'm a novelist, editor, short story writer. I also teach, and I freelance sometimes as an arts c...
NALO HOPKINSON
You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public
SCOTT ADAMS
I am re-reading Henry James as a change from history. I began with Daisy Miller, and I've just finis...
ANTONIA FRASER
How do you know about the world is real?...
How?...
How you don't think that you are locke...
DEYTH BANGER
Patience and Gentleness is Power. - Leigh Hunt (James Henry Leigh Hunt),
LEIGH HUNT (JAMES HENRY LEIGH HUNT)
And it's impossible for me to read Henry James.
NORMAN MACCAIG
It was a combination of both. We got lucky because of the depth of the quake. But without the improv...
BUTCH KINERNEY
When he was able to get one of his pupils into the University of Chicago -- contributing a few dolla...
DAVID LOTH
Disclaimer - These opiini^H^H damn! ^H^H ^Q ^[ .... :w :q :wq :wq! ^d X ^? exit X Q ^C ^? :quitbye C...
B. F. SKINNER
There is a long dishonourable tradition of western intellectuals who have been duped by Moscow. The ...
LUKE HARDING
I met my wife, Margaret L. Mack, at the University of Chicago. We were married in 1936. She died in ...
GEORGE STIGLER
The moods he's shown me have all been vastly different...as different as summer and winter, sometime...
KAYLA KRANTZ
The complexity of the simplest known type of cell is so great that it is impossible to accept that s...
MICHAEL DENTON
I'm not saying that I'm better than anyone... I'm just saying that I'm one-of-a-kind.
C LIONG

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Honor is simply the morality of superior men.
H. L. MENCKEN
A man may be a fool and not know it, but not if he is married.
H. L. MENCKEN
There is always an easy solution to every problem - neat, plausible, and wrong.
H. L. MENCKEN
Temptation is a woman's weapon and man's excuse.
H. L. MENCKEN
For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong.
H. L. MENCKEN
The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule.
H. L. MENCKEN
A newspaper is a device for making the ignorant more ignorant and the crazy crazier.
H. L. MENCKEN
A good politician is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar.
H. L. MENCKEN
Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin sl...
H. L. MENCKEN
Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.
H. L. MENCKEN
On one issue, at least, men and women agree; they both distrust women.
H. L. MENCKEN
The most valuable of all human possessions, next to a superior and disdainful air, is the reputation...
H. L. MENCKEN
Nothing is so abject and pathetic as a politician who has lost his job, save only a retired stud-hor...
H. L. MENCKEN
A politician is an animal which can sit on a fence and yet keep both ears to the ground.
H. L. MENCKEN
One horse-laugh is worth ten thousand syllogisms. It is not only more effective; it is also vastly ...
H. L. MENCKEN
I believe that it is better to tell the truth than a lie. I believe it is better to be free than to ...
H. L. MENCKEN
Time stays, we go.
H. L. MENCKEN
A nun, at best, is only half a woman, just as a priest is only half a man.
H. L. MENCKEN
The truth is, as every one knows, that the great artists of the world are never Puritans, and seldom...
H. L. MENCKEN
Archbishop -- A Christian ecclesiastic of a rank superior to that attained by Christ.
H. L. MENCKEN
A church is a place in which gentlemen who have never been to heaven brag about it to persons who wi...
H. L. MENCKEN
All the political seers and sorcerers seem to be agreed that the coming Presidential campaign will b...
H. L. MENCKEN
The time must come inevitably when mankind shall surmount the imbecility of religion, as it has surm...
H. L. MENCKEN
The chief knowledge that a man gets from reading books is the knowledge that very few of them are wo...
H. L. MENCKEN
There are two kinds of books. Those that no one reads and those that no one ought to read.
H. L. MENCKEN
There are people who read too much: bibliobibuli. I know some who are constantly drunk on books, as ...
H. L. MENCKEN
War will never cease until babies begin to come into the world with larger cerebrums and smaller adr...
H. L. MENCKEN
Love is an emotion that is based on an opinion of women that is impossible for those who have had an...
H. L. MENCKEN
Love is the delusion that one man or woman differs from another.
H. L. MENCKEN
To be in love is merely to be in a perpetual state of anesthesia.
H. L. MENCKEN
I write in order to attain that feeling of tension relieved and function achieved which a cow enjoys...
H. L. MENCKEN
I go on working for the same reason that a hen goes on laying eggs.
H. L. MENCKEN
If I ever marry it will be on a sudden impulse, as a man shoots himself.
H. L. MENCKEN
Whenever a husband and wife begin to discuss their marriage they are giving evidence at a coroner's ...
H. L. MENCKEN
The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed [and hence clamorous to be led t...
H. L. MENCKEN
We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense that we respect his theory that ...
H. L. MENCKEN
It is a sin to believe in the evil of others, but it is seldom a mistake.
H. L. MENCKEN
Under democracy, one party always devotes its chief energies to trying to prove that the other party...
H. L. MENCKEN
We must be willing to pay a price for freedom.
H. L. MENCKEN
No man could bring himself to reveal his true character, and, above all, his true limitations as a c...
H. L. MENCKEN
School-days, I believe, are the unhappiest in the whole span of human existence. They are full of du...
H. L. MENCKEN
Let's not burn the universities yet. After all, the damage they do might be worse.
H. L. MENCKEN
The aim of public education is not to spread enlightenment at all: it is simply to reduce as many in...
H. L. MENCKEN
The curse of man, and the cause of nearly all his woe, is his stupendous capacity for believing the ...
H. L. MENCKEN
It is a sin to believe evil of others, but it is seldom a mistake.
H. L. MENCKEN
Fame: an embalmer trembling with stage fright.
H. L. MENCKEN
So few men are really worth knowing, that it seems a shameful waste to let an anthropoid prejudice s...
H. L. MENCKEN
One may no more live in the world without picking up the moral prejudices of the world than one will...
H. L. MENCKEN
The urge to save humanity is almost always only a false face for the urge to rule it.
H. L. MENCKEN
Man is always looking for someone to boast to; woman is always looking for a shoulder to put her hea...
H. L. MENCKEN
A man's women folk, whatever their outward show of respect for his merit and authority, always regar...
H. L. MENCKEN
Men have a much better time of it than women. For one thing, they marry later, for another thing, th...
H. L. MENCKEN
Man weeps to think that he will die so soon; woman, that she was born so long ago.
H. L. MENCKEN
Bachelors have consciences, married men have wives.
H. L. MENCKEN
Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't, they'd be married too.
H. L. MENCKEN
It is impossible to believe that the same God who permitted His own son to die a bachelor regards ce...
H. L. MENCKEN
To the best of my knowledge and belief, the average American newspaper, even of the so-called better...
H. L. MENCKEN
The opera is to music what a bawdy house is to a cathedral.
H. L. MENCKEN
Time is the great equalizer in the field of morals.
H. L. MENCKEN
The difference between a moral man and a man of honor is that the latter regrets a discreditable act...
H. L. MENCKEN
Morality is the theory that every human act must be either right or wrong, and that 99% of them are ...
H. L. MENCKEN
Moral certainty is always a sign of cultural inferiority. The more uncivilized the man, the surer he...
H. L. MENCKEN
The average man does not get pleasure out of an idea because he thinks it is true; he thinks it is t...
H. L. MENCKEN
Women have simple tastes. They get pleasure out of the conversation of children in arms and men in l...
H. L. MENCKEN
A metaphysician is one who, when you remark that twice two makes four, demands to know what you mean...
H. L. MENCKEN
Philosophy consists very largely of one philosopher arguing that all others are jackasses. He usuall...
H. L. MENCKEN
There is no record in history of a happy philosopher.
H. L. MENCKEN
An idealist is one who, on noticing that a rose smells better than a cabbage, concludes that it is a...
H. L. MENCKEN
Whenever you hear a man speak of his love for his country, it is a sign that he expects to be paid f...
H. L. MENCKEN
A society made up of individuals who were all capable of original thought would probably be unendura...
H. L. MENCKEN
Don't overestimate the decency of the human race.
H. L. MENCKEN
Man is never honestly the fatalist, nor even the stoic. He fights his fate, often desperately. He is...
H. L. MENCKEN
I believe in only one thing: liberty; but I do not believe in liberty enough to want to force it upo...
H. L. MENCKEN
There is nothing worse than an idle hour, with no occupation offering. People who have many such hou...
H. L. MENCKEN
Say what you will about the Ten Commandments, you must always come back to the pleasant fact that th...
H. L. MENCKEN
One horse-laugh is worth ten thousand syllogisms. It is not only more effective; it is also vastly m...
H. L. MENCKEN
A prohibitionist is the sort of man one couldn't care to drink with, even if he drank.
H. L. MENCKEN
On one issue at least, men and women agree; they both distrust women.
H. L. MENCKEN
The world always makes the assumption that the exposure of an error is identical with the discovery ...
H. L. MENCKEN
Communism, like any other revealed religion, is largely made up of prophecies.
H. L. MENCKEN
What men value in this world is not rights but privileges.
H. L. MENCKEN
The common argument that crime is caused by poverty is a kind of slander on the poor.
H. L. MENCKEN
Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends.
H. L. MENCKEN
Conscience is the inner voice which warns us that someone may be looking.
H. L. MENCKEN
Life is a constant oscillation between the sharp horns of dilemmas.
H. L. MENCKEN
If I had my way, no man guilty of golf would be eligible to any office of trust under the United Sta...
H. L. MENCKEN
It is impossible to imagine the universe run by a wise, just and omnipotent God, but it is quite eas...
H. L. MENCKEN
Men become civilized, not in proportion to their willingness to believe, but in proportion to their ...
H. L. MENCKEN
The cure for the evils of democracy is more democracy.
H. L. MENCKEN
Democracy is the theory that the common people know what They want, and deserve to get it good and h...
H. L. MENCKEN
Democracy is also a form of religion. It is the worship of jackals by jackasses.
H. L. MENCKEN
The men the American people admire most extravagantly are the most daring liars; the men they detest...
H. L. MENCKEN
The truth that survives is simply the lie that is pleasantest to believe.
H. L. MENCKEN
Lying is not only excusable; it is not only innocent; it is, above all, necessary and unavoidable. W...
H. L. MENCKEN
It is impossible to think of a man of any actual force and originality, universally recognized as ha...
H. L. MENCKEN
Criticism is prejudice made plausible.
H. L. MENCKEN
A celebrity is one who is known to many persons he is glad he doesn't know.
H. L. MENCKEN
Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief in the occurrence of the improbable.
H. L. MENCKEN
As the arteries grow hard, the heart grows soft.
H. L. MENCKEN
Have you ever watched a crab on the shore crawling backward in search of the Atlantic Ocean, and mis...
H. L. MENCKEN
Man is a beautiful machine that works very badly.
H. L. MENCKEN
The basic fact about human existence is not that it is a tragedy, but that it is a bore. It is not s...
H. L. MENCKEN
Historian -- an unsuccessful novelist.
H. L. MENCKEN
Jealousy is the theory that some other fellow has just as little taste.
H. L. MENCKEN
The evidence of the emotions, save in cases where it has strong objective support, is really no evid...
H. L. MENCKEN
Government is actually the worst failure of civilized man. There has never been a really good one, a...
H. L. MENCKEN
The legislature, like the executive, has ceased to be even the creature of the people: it is the cre...
H. L. MENCKEN
The objection of the scandalmonger is not that she tells of racy doings, but that she pretends to be...
H. L. MENCKEN
God is the immemorial refuge of the incompetent, the helpless, the miserable. They find not only san...
H. L. MENCKEN
The movies today are too rich to have any room for genuine artists. They produce a few passable craf...
H. L. MENCKEN
Injustice is relatively easy to bear what stings is justice.
H. L. MENCKEN
The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the ...
H. L. MENCKEN
JUDGE, n: A law student who marks his own papers.
H. L. MENCKEN
Most people want security in this world, not liberty.
H. L. MENCKEN
The fact that I have no remedy for all the sorrows of the world is no reason for my accepting yours....
H. L. MENCKEN
Thanksgiving Day is a day devoted by persons with inflammatory rheumatism to thanking a loving Fathe...
H. L. MENCKEN
Temptation is a woman's weapon and man's excuse.
H. L. MENCKEN
The lunatic fringe wags the underdog.
H. L. MENCKEN
Hygiene is the corruption of medicine by morality. It is impossible to find a hygienist who does not...
H. L. MENCKEN
Opera in English, is about as sensible as baseball in Italian.
H. L. MENCKEN
The Belief that man is outfitted with an immortal soul, differing altogether from the engines which ...
H. L. MENCKEN
Alimony -- the ransom that the happy pay to the devil.
H. L. MENCKEN
A gentlemen is one who never strikes a woman without provocation.
H. L. MENCKEN
No one hates his job so heartily as a farmer.
H. L. MENCKEN
The public, with its mob yearning to be instructed, edified and pulled by the nose, demands certaint...
H. L. MENCKEN
It is the dull man who is always sure, and the sure man who is always dull.
H. L. MENCKEN
When women kiss it always reminds one of prize-fighters shaking hands.
H. L. MENCKEN
A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin.
H. L. MENCKEN
The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
H. L. MENCKEN
The only cure for contempt is counter-contempt.
H. L. MENCKEN
Imagine the Creator as a stand up comedian - and at once the world becomes explicable.
H. L. MENCKEN
It is now quite lawful for a Catholic woman to avoid pregnancy by a resort to mathematics, though sh...
H. L. MENCKEN
After all, all he did was string together a lot of old, well-known quotations.
H. L. MENCKEN
Unionism, seldom if ever, uses such powers as it has to ensure better work; almost always it devotes...
H. L. MENCKEN
I never agree with Communists or any other kind of kept men.
H. L. MENCKEN
The idea that leisure is of value in itself is only conditionally true. The average man simply spend...
H. L. MENCKEN
Remorse is regret that one waited so long to do it.
H. L. MENCKEN
Self-respect: the secure feeling that no one, as yet, is suspicious.
H. L. MENCKEN
Life is a dead-end street.
H. L. MENCKEN
It is now quite lawful for a Catholic woman to avoid pregnancy by a resort to mathematics, though sh...
H. L. MENCKEN
It doesn't take a majority to make a rebellion; it takes only a few determined leaders and a sound c...
H. L. MENCKEN
The difference between a moral man and a man of honor is that the latter regrets a discreditable act...
H. L. MENCKEN
No one ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.
H. L. MENCKEN
The truth is that the average schoolmaster, on all the lower levels, is and always must be essential...
H. L. MENCKEN
The more a man dreams, the less he believes.
H. L. MENCKEN
On one issue at least, men and women agree: they both distrust women.
H. L. MENCKEN
Unquestionably, there is progress. The average American now pays twice as much in taxes as he former...
H. L. MENCKEN
The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the...
H. L. MENCKEN
Before a man speaks, it is always safe to assume that he is a fool. After he speaks it is seldom nec...
H. L. MENCKEN
How little it takes to make life unbearable: a pebble in the shoe, a cockroach in the spaghetti, a w...
H. L. MENCKEN
The chief value of money lies in the fact that one lives in a world in which it is overestimated.
H. L. MENCKEN
Misogynist: A man who hates women as much as women hate one another.
H. L. MENCKEN
The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundre...
H. L. MENCKEN
Conscience is the inner voice that warns us somebody may be looking.
H. L. MENCKEN
The capacity of human beings to bore one another seems to be vastly greater than that of any other a...
H. L. MENCKEN
Nobody ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public.
H. L. MENCKEN
To die for an idea; it is unquestionably noble. But how much nobler it would be if men died for idea...
H. L. MENCKEN
The government consists of a gang of men exactly like you and me. They have, taking one with another...
H. L. MENCKEN
I believe that all government is evil, and that trying to improve it is largely a waste of time.
H. L. MENCKEN
It is impossible to imagine Goethe or Beethoven being good at billiards or golf.
H. L. MENCKEN
Alimony - the ransom that the happy pay to the devil.
H. L. MENCKEN
On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at la...
H. L. MENCKEN
Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.
H. L. MENCKEN
In war the heroes always outnumber the soldiers ten to one.
H. L. MENCKEN
The most costly of all follies is to believe passionately in the palpably not true. It is the chief ...
H. L. MENCKEN
It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common hones...
H. L. MENCKEN
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who would want to live in an institution?
H. L. MENCKEN
In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice t...
H. L. MENCKEN
The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led t...
H. L. MENCKEN
It doesn't take a majority to make a rebellion; it takes only a few determined leaders and a sou...
H. L. MENCKEN
Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey cage.
H. L. MENCKEN
An idealist is one who, on noticing that roses smell better than a cabbage, concludes that it will a...
H. L. MENCKEN
Every man sees in his relatives, and especially in his cousins, a series of grotesque caricatures of...
H. L. MENCKEN
Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband a month before she marries him and what...
H. L. MENCKEN
Democracy is only a dream: it should be put in the same category as Arcadia, Santa Claus, and Heaven...
H. L. MENCKEN
Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
H. L. MENCKEN
No one in this world, so far as I know - and I have searched the records for years, and employed age...
H. L. MENCKEN
The one permanent emotion of the inferior man is fear - fear of the unknown, the complex, the inexpl...
H. L. MENCKEN
No matter how happily a woman may be married, it always pleases her to discover that there is a nice...
H. L. MENCKEN
I never lecture, not because I am shy or a bad speaker, but simply because I detest the sort of peop...
H. L. MENCKEN
The most dangerous man to any government is the man who is able to think things out... without regar...
H. L. MENCKEN
Puritanism. The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
H. L. MENCKEN
I never smoked a cigarette until I was nine.
H. L. MENCKEN
If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents, he would promise them missionaries fo...
H. L. MENCKEN
It is not materialism that is the chief curse of the world, as pastors teach, but idealism. Men get ...
H. L. MENCKEN
Poetry has done enough when it charms, but prose must also convince.
H. L. MENCKEN
Before a man speaks it is always safe to assume that he is a fool. After he speaks, it is seldom nec...
H. L. MENCKEN
For it is mutual trust, even more than mutual interest that holds human associations together. Our f...
H. L. MENCKEN
Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't they'd be married too.
H. L. MENCKEN
Every election is a sort of advance auction sale of stolen goods.
H. L. MENCKEN
Unquestionably, there is progress. The average American now pays out twice as much in taxes as he fo...
H. L. MENCKEN
Legend: A lie that has attained the dignity of age.
H. L. MENCKEN
Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under.
H. L. MENCKEN
It is hard for the ape to believe he descended from man.
H. L. MENCKEN
Archbishop - A Christian ecclesiastic of a rank superior to that attained by Christ.
H. L. MENCKEN
Adultery is the application of democracy to love.
H. L. MENCKEN
Each party steals so many articles of faith from the other, and the candidates spend so much time ma...
H. L. MENCKEN
Have you ever watched a crab on the shore crawling backward in search of the Atlantic Ocean, and mis...
H. L. MENCKEN
A national political campaign is better than the best circus ever heard of, with a mass baptism and ...
H. L. MENCKEN
There is a saying in Baltimore that crabs may be prepared in fifty ways and that all of them are goo...
H. L. MENCKEN

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