Unquestionably, there is progress. The average American now pays out twice as much in taxes as he formerly got in wages.

The average American is nothing if not patriotic.

The average American doesn't realize how much of the laws are written by lobbyists.

Nevertheless, it is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man.

The average American is more focused on leadership than likeability. And more focused on qualifications than quality of speakership.

It is now common knowledge that the average American gains 7 pounds between Thanksgiving and New Year's Day.