Alimony - the ransom that the happy pay to the devil.

Puritanism. The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.

The theory seems to be that as long as a man is a failure he is one of God's children, but that as soon as he succeeds he is taken over by the Devil.

A professor must have a theory as a dog must have fleas.

Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief in the occurrence of the improbable.

Democracy is only a dream: it should be put in the same category as Arcadia, Santa Claus, and Heaven.