A good politician is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar.

If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents, he would promise them missionaries for dinner.

It is impossible to imagine the universe run by a wise, just and omnipotent God, but it is quite easy to imagine it run by a board of gods.

There is a saying in Baltimore that crabs may be prepared in fifty ways and that all of them are good.

A bad man is the sort who weeps every time he speaks of a good woman.

[It was] the most breathtakingly honest comment I've heard a politician make in many, many years, and I suspect it will be judged in the years to come as his greatest act of community service.