Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

Every man sees in his relatives, and especially in his cousins, a series of grotesque caricatures of himself.

Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under.

A bad man is the sort who weeps every time he speaks of a good woman.

There are men so philosophical that they can see humor in their own toothaches. But there has never lived a man so philosophical that he could see the toothache in his own humor.

A professor must have a theory as a dog must have fleas.