Fame: an embalmer trembling with stage fright.

A celebrity is one who is known to many persons he is glad he doesn't know.

A professor must have a theory as a dog must have fleas.

Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief in the occurrence of the improbable.

Democracy is only a dream: it should be put in the same category as Arcadia, Santa Claus, and Heaven.

Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband a month before she marries him and what she thinks of him a year afterward, and you will have the truth about him.