If women believed in their husbands they would be a good deal happier and also a good deal more foolish.


H. L. Mencken

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Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. -H. L. Mencken.
H. L. MENCKEN
As the arteries grow hard, the heart grows soft. -H. L. Mencken.
H. L. MENCKEN
As the arteries grow hard, the heart grows soft. thanks to Alan Bennett -H. L. Mencken.
H. L. MENCKEN
A woman asking Am I good? Am I satisfied? is extremely selfish. The less women fuss about themselves...
BARBARA CARTLAND
A woman asking ''Am I good? Am I satisfied?'' is extremely selfish. The less women fuss about themse...
BARBARA CARTLAND
Though a good deal is too strange to be believed, nothing is too strange to have happened.
THOMAS HARDY
If they insist on their original demand, that would be a deal-breaker.
ROBERT AVENTAJADO
They got a good deal because their characters are so valuable.
ROBERT ROUTH
It would ha' been a good deal easier, if ye'd only been a witch.
DIANA GABALDON
If the informant got too good a deal, it would diminish his credibility.
JAMES SHAPIRO
If the informant got too good a deal, it would diminish his credibility,
JAMES SHAPIRO
If people would dare to speak to one another unreservedly, there would be a good deal less sorrow in...
SAMUEL BUTLER
[S]isters could do a great deal for their brothers, if they would.
ISABELLA MACDONALD ALDEN
Agents are deal makers, and they're really, really good at making deals. But they're also ex...
JOHN ROMANIELLO
All these kings would do a deal better if they would put down their swords and listen to their mothe...
GEORGE R.R. MARTIN
You probably had accounts buying the stock ahead of this deal, hoping it would be more prolific and ...
TY CARMICHAEL
I'm not sure if that's a good deal, bad deal or whatever. Everyone else is based on coin-in.
DENNIS CONRAD
A good deal is good for everybody.
AMY GRANT
and the girl and I get into her car and drive off into the hills and we go to her room and I take of...
BRET EASTON ELLIS
She was a good deal shock'd; not shock'd at tears, For women shed and use them at their liking; ...
LORD BYRON (GEORGE GORDON NOEL BYRON)
This submission also perpetuates the myth that women should submit and be subservient to their husba...
BARBARA WARD
For the drivers, a weekend off would be nice, but for the fans, it would not be a very good deal.
TONY STEWART
It would be a very good thing for all involved - the country, an independent judiciary, and the Left...
NEIL GORSUCH
I believed and hoped that we would be able to secure a deal with Europe which would enable us to ame...
MICHAEL GOVE
An approximate answer to the right problem is worth a good deal more than an exact answer to an appr...
JOHN TUKEY
The best homes always sell first. If they spot a good deal, they need to act on it.
DENNY GRIMES
It sounds like a lot more words that are not backed by any actions. We would encourage them to take ...
SEAN MCCORMACK
A pin has as much head as some authors and a good deal more point.
GEORGE DENNISON PRENTICE
Ignorance, if not bliss, often saves a good deal of time
ANTHONY GILBERT
Everybody must be managed. Queens must be managed. Kings must be managed, for men want managing almo...
THOMAS HARDY
I’m inclined to think that the scientific dictatorships of the future, and I think there are going...
ALDOUS HUXLEY
A girl in love will do a good deal.
ELIZABETH GASKELL
It's good. Eagle's playing well, though. I was surprised with how they come on their block. They did...
BRIAN DOYON
A good deal of tyranny goes by the name of protection.
CRYSTAL EASTMAN
Would I quarrel with them if they said 35? But to suggest, 'We want you to die in prison. Isn't that...
SVERRE STAURSET
If it sounds like too good of a deal, check it out.
GLENN JENNINGS
Life beyond your comfort zone is SO rewarding! I think if more people knew that they would actually ...
DR.'S RICK AND SUSANN CRAWFORD
It would be better if we were able to get a deal, but it had to be the right deal. It needs to be th...
DOUGLAS ALEXANDER
This is not a good deal,
ADRIAN FENTY
I think it's a good deal.
ANNA BROWN
Then the truth is this: a good man can only aspire to be worthy of a good woman. She'll always be ou...
JAMES ANDERSON
We should always deal cautiously with fire, water, women, foolish people, serpents, and members of a...
CHANAKYA
To value riches is not to be covetous. They are the gift of God, and, like every gift of his, good i...
H. L. WAYLAND
I I I I I I t t t t t t i i i i i i s s s s s s u u u u u u n n n n n n f f f f f f o o o o o o r r ...
TODD COBURN
But if you're handy with that sort of thing, it might be a pretty good deal at $10.
GARY WEISS
The new structure will facilitate more service to customers and a good deal less administration and ...
WALTER RAIZNER
The tattoo is just setting below his hp bone.
H e l l i s e m p t y
a n d a l l t h e d ...
TAHEREH MAFI
Husbands are chiefly good lovers when they are betraying their wives.
MARILYN MONROE
I traveled a good deal all over the world, and I got along pretty good in all these foreign countrie...
WILL ROGERS
He must be heard - and also seen; for if he played behind the scenes a great deal of the poetry of h...
ROBERT A. SCHUMANN
[C]oncepts of dying in to a heaven or hell seem a good deal more political than spiritual. (124)
STEPHEN LEVINE
There is a good deal in a man's mode of eating.
UNKNOWN
It's a good deal; for us and for them.
JOE KOLIS
Marriage is a good deal like a circus: there is not as much in it as is represented in the advertisi...
E. W. HOWE
He believed in me a long time ago. I had five good years with Ken Hitchcock in Dallas. And the terms...
DERIAN HATCHER
The Happier the more the Merrier and the Good the better, positive thinking Positive reaction positi...
THANH LUU
Women enjoyed rights in Egypt they would not again enjoy for more than 2,000 years. They owned ships...
STACY SCHIFF
Make women rational creatures, and free citizens, and they will quickly become good wives; - that is...
MARY WOLLSTONECRAFT
The officers believed a dope deal had taken place,
RICKY BOREN
We're like everybody else. If there's a good deal out there we'll do it.
DONNIE WALSH
Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life. The conviction of the rich...
MARK TWAIN
if we could act a little more according to common sense, and a good deal less according to fashion, ...
ANNA SEWELL
Husbands are chiefly good as lovers when they are betraying their wives.
MARILYN MONROE
We basically sell anything that you would see at a deli. Our highest marked meal would be approximat...
LAURA ANDERSON
It's a good deal for DaimlerChrysler. They can now focus on the original business.
FRIEDRICH DIEL
Women, with their sure instincts, realized that my intention was to make them not just more beautifu...
CHRISTIAN DIOR
The person that gives you a good book to read is more valuable than the one that gives you money,bec...
DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN)
Endeavour to get a good name,because if you do,you will be indirectly making life easier for your gr...
DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN)
A good quote is far better than the best selling books.
ANUJ SOMANY
Endeavor to get a good name,because if you do,you will be indirectly making life easier for your gre...
DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN)
It is good to appreciate anothers good deeds, but let not your good deeds be known to others lest th...
APURVA GAGLANI
If given an opportunity to head an establishment,resite this "A good name will last better for my fa...
DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN)
If you have inherited a bad name from your parent,edit it,by becoming good,but if you are lucky to h...
DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN)
Diamond & platinum are the obstacles that always stand in the way of a good name.
DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN)
Let us endeavor to have a good name,for in so doing we are sowing good seeds,that will one day be ha...
DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN)
During times of sour or bad relationship a good person will always exhibit a pleasant character.
DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN)
A good name is a more bankable & valuable inheritance than diamond & platinum.
DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN)
A good name will open doors that diamond & platinum dare not.
DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN)
A good name can open ways for your great grand children.
DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN)
A good name is the only insurance we need against the monster called poverty.
DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN)
The best inheritance a man can leave for his children is not diamond & platinum,but a good name.
DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN)
All the riches in life are incomparable to a good name.
DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN)
Even if other things remains unspoken in your life,a good name will continually speak for you, even ...
DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN)
If I were betting, I would bet there would be a deal by Wednesday.
JONATHAN KRAFT
Invoice on some cars is a great price. But if you are not negotiating a very good finance price or a...
MARK MCCREADY
I'm happy we got a good deal, I think it's a good deal. I'm cool with it. I'm ready to go back to wo...
LEON SMITH
This looks like a good deal to me.
COMMISSIONER DARRYL STEELE
If you're asking me if we would have taken that deal, then no, we would not have taken that deal. Bu...
LES WRIGHT
It had taken her a good deal of time before she believed that she was worth all that fierce affectio...
GAIL CARRIGER
My brother and sister had a much worse childhood, I think, because they were older, and they had to ...
MARIAH CAREY
A successful teacher is one who has atleast 2 students in his class, one who sees no reason to study...
APURVA GAGLANI
In the overall market, it's just going to be more of the same with a good deal of volatility, ... It...
ALAN HOFFMAN
A man must have a good deal of vanity who believes, and a good deal of boldness who affirms, that al...
BENJAMIN FRANKLIN
Our kids have to deal with another loss, and that's the difficult part. I'm trying to tell them how ...
GARY THOMAS
You've got to S-M-I-L-E
To be H-A-Double-P-Y
SHIRLEY TEMPLE BLACK
Good action films - not crap, but good action films - are really morality plays. They deal in modern...
SYLVESTER STALLONE
He is a modest little man who has a good deal to be modest about.
SIR WINSTON CHURCHILL
We need Hawaii just as much and a good deal more than we did California. It is Manifest Destiny.
WILLIAM MCKINLEY
You had to deal every day with people who were foolish and lazy and untruthful and downright unpleas...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Katherine of Aragon was speaking out for the women of the country, for the good wives who should not...
PHILIPPA GREGORY

More H. L. Mencken

Honor is simply the morality of superior men.
H. L. MENCKEN
A man may be a fool and not know it, but not if he is married.
H. L. MENCKEN
There is always an easy solution to every problem - neat, plausible, and wrong.
H. L. MENCKEN
Temptation is a woman's weapon and man's excuse.
H. L. MENCKEN
For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong.
H. L. MENCKEN
The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule.
H. L. MENCKEN
A newspaper is a device for making the ignorant more ignorant and the crazy crazier.
H. L. MENCKEN
A good politician is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar.
H. L. MENCKEN
Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin sl...
H. L. MENCKEN
Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.
H. L. MENCKEN
On one issue, at least, men and women agree; they both distrust women.
H. L. MENCKEN
The most valuable of all human possessions, next to a superior and disdainful air, is the reputation...
H. L. MENCKEN
Nothing is so abject and pathetic as a politician who has lost his job, save only a retired stud-hor...
H. L. MENCKEN
A politician is an animal which can sit on a fence and yet keep both ears to the ground.
H. L. MENCKEN
One horse-laugh is worth ten thousand syllogisms. It is not only more effective; it is also vastly ...
H. L. MENCKEN
I believe that it is better to tell the truth than a lie. I believe it is better to be free than to ...
H. L. MENCKEN
Time stays, we go.
H. L. MENCKEN
A nun, at best, is only half a woman, just as a priest is only half a man.
H. L. MENCKEN
The truth is, as every one knows, that the great artists of the world are never Puritans, and seldom...
H. L. MENCKEN
Archbishop -- A Christian ecclesiastic of a rank superior to that attained by Christ.
H. L. MENCKEN
A church is a place in which gentlemen who have never been to heaven brag about it to persons who wi...
H. L. MENCKEN
All the political seers and sorcerers seem to be agreed that the coming Presidential campaign will b...
H. L. MENCKEN
The time must come inevitably when mankind shall surmount the imbecility of religion, as it has surm...
H. L. MENCKEN
The chief knowledge that a man gets from reading books is the knowledge that very few of them are wo...
H. L. MENCKEN
There are two kinds of books. Those that no one reads and those that no one ought to read.
H. L. MENCKEN
There are people who read too much: bibliobibuli. I know some who are constantly drunk on books, as ...
H. L. MENCKEN
War will never cease until babies begin to come into the world with larger cerebrums and smaller adr...
H. L. MENCKEN
Love is an emotion that is based on an opinion of women that is impossible for those who have had an...
H. L. MENCKEN
Love is the delusion that one man or woman differs from another.
H. L. MENCKEN
To be in love is merely to be in a perpetual state of anesthesia.
H. L. MENCKEN
I write in order to attain that feeling of tension relieved and function achieved which a cow enjoys...
H. L. MENCKEN
I go on working for the same reason that a hen goes on laying eggs.
H. L. MENCKEN
If I ever marry it will be on a sudden impulse, as a man shoots himself.
H. L. MENCKEN
Whenever a husband and wife begin to discuss their marriage they are giving evidence at a coroner's ...
H. L. MENCKEN
The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed [and hence clamorous to be led t...
H. L. MENCKEN
We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense that we respect his theory that ...
H. L. MENCKEN
It is a sin to believe in the evil of others, but it is seldom a mistake.
H. L. MENCKEN
Under democracy, one party always devotes its chief energies to trying to prove that the other party...
H. L. MENCKEN
We must be willing to pay a price for freedom.
H. L. MENCKEN
No man could bring himself to reveal his true character, and, above all, his true limitations as a c...
H. L. MENCKEN
School-days, I believe, are the unhappiest in the whole span of human existence. They are full of du...
H. L. MENCKEN
Let's not burn the universities yet. After all, the damage they do might be worse.
H. L. MENCKEN
The aim of public education is not to spread enlightenment at all: it is simply to reduce as many in...
H. L. MENCKEN
The curse of man, and the cause of nearly all his woe, is his stupendous capacity for believing the ...
H. L. MENCKEN
It is a sin to believe evil of others, but it is seldom a mistake.
H. L. MENCKEN
Fame: an embalmer trembling with stage fright.
H. L. MENCKEN
So few men are really worth knowing, that it seems a shameful waste to let an anthropoid prejudice s...
H. L. MENCKEN
One may no more live in the world without picking up the moral prejudices of the world than one will...
H. L. MENCKEN
The urge to save humanity is almost always only a false face for the urge to rule it.
H. L. MENCKEN
Man is always looking for someone to boast to; woman is always looking for a shoulder to put her hea...
H. L. MENCKEN
A man's women folk, whatever their outward show of respect for his merit and authority, always regar...
H. L. MENCKEN
Men have a much better time of it than women. For one thing, they marry later, for another thing, th...
H. L. MENCKEN
Man weeps to think that he will die so soon; woman, that she was born so long ago.
H. L. MENCKEN
Bachelors have consciences, married men have wives.
H. L. MENCKEN
Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't, they'd be married too.
H. L. MENCKEN
It is impossible to believe that the same God who permitted His own son to die a bachelor regards ce...
H. L. MENCKEN
To the best of my knowledge and belief, the average American newspaper, even of the so-called better...
H. L. MENCKEN
The opera is to music what a bawdy house is to a cathedral.
H. L. MENCKEN
Time is the great equalizer in the field of morals.
H. L. MENCKEN
The difference between a moral man and a man of honor is that the latter regrets a discreditable act...
H. L. MENCKEN
Morality is the theory that every human act must be either right or wrong, and that 99% of them are ...
H. L. MENCKEN
Moral certainty is always a sign of cultural inferiority. The more uncivilized the man, the surer he...
H. L. MENCKEN
The average man does not get pleasure out of an idea because he thinks it is true; he thinks it is t...
H. L. MENCKEN
Women have simple tastes. They get pleasure out of the conversation of children in arms and men in l...
H. L. MENCKEN
A metaphysician is one who, when you remark that twice two makes four, demands to know what you mean...
H. L. MENCKEN
Philosophy consists very largely of one philosopher arguing that all others are jackasses. He usuall...
H. L. MENCKEN
There is no record in history of a happy philosopher.
H. L. MENCKEN
An idealist is one who, on noticing that a rose smells better than a cabbage, concludes that it is a...
H. L. MENCKEN
Whenever you hear a man speak of his love for his country, it is a sign that he expects to be paid f...
H. L. MENCKEN
A society made up of individuals who were all capable of original thought would probably be unendura...
H. L. MENCKEN
Don't overestimate the decency of the human race.
H. L. MENCKEN
Man is never honestly the fatalist, nor even the stoic. He fights his fate, often desperately. He is...
H. L. MENCKEN
I believe in only one thing: liberty; but I do not believe in liberty enough to want to force it upo...
H. L. MENCKEN
There is nothing worse than an idle hour, with no occupation offering. People who have many such hou...
H. L. MENCKEN
Say what you will about the Ten Commandments, you must always come back to the pleasant fact that th...
H. L. MENCKEN
One horse-laugh is worth ten thousand syllogisms. It is not only more effective; it is also vastly m...
H. L. MENCKEN
A prohibitionist is the sort of man one couldn't care to drink with, even if he drank.
H. L. MENCKEN
On one issue at least, men and women agree; they both distrust women.
H. L. MENCKEN
The world always makes the assumption that the exposure of an error is identical with the discovery ...
H. L. MENCKEN
Communism, like any other revealed religion, is largely made up of prophecies.
H. L. MENCKEN
What men value in this world is not rights but privileges.
H. L. MENCKEN
The common argument that crime is caused by poverty is a kind of slander on the poor.
H. L. MENCKEN
Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends.
H. L. MENCKEN
Conscience is the inner voice which warns us that someone may be looking.
H. L. MENCKEN
Life is a constant oscillation between the sharp horns of dilemmas.
H. L. MENCKEN
If I had my way, no man guilty of golf would be eligible to any office of trust under the United Sta...
H. L. MENCKEN
It is impossible to imagine the universe run by a wise, just and omnipotent God, but it is quite eas...
H. L. MENCKEN
Men become civilized, not in proportion to their willingness to believe, but in proportion to their ...
H. L. MENCKEN
The cure for the evils of democracy is more democracy.
H. L. MENCKEN
Democracy is the theory that the common people know what They want, and deserve to get it good and h...
H. L. MENCKEN
Democracy is also a form of religion. It is the worship of jackals by jackasses.
H. L. MENCKEN
The men the American people admire most extravagantly are the most daring liars; the men they detest...
H. L. MENCKEN
The truth that survives is simply the lie that is pleasantest to believe.
H. L. MENCKEN
Lying is not only excusable; it is not only innocent; it is, above all, necessary and unavoidable. W...
H. L. MENCKEN
It is impossible to think of a man of any actual force and originality, universally recognized as ha...
H. L. MENCKEN
Criticism is prejudice made plausible.
H. L. MENCKEN
A celebrity is one who is known to many persons he is glad he doesn't know.
H. L. MENCKEN
Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief in the occurrence of the improbable.
H. L. MENCKEN
As the arteries grow hard, the heart grows soft.
H. L. MENCKEN
Have you ever watched a crab on the shore crawling backward in search of the Atlantic Ocean, and mis...
H. L. MENCKEN
Man is a beautiful machine that works very badly.
H. L. MENCKEN
The basic fact about human existence is not that it is a tragedy, but that it is a bore. It is not s...
H. L. MENCKEN
Historian -- an unsuccessful novelist.
H. L. MENCKEN
Jealousy is the theory that some other fellow has just as little taste.
H. L. MENCKEN
The evidence of the emotions, save in cases where it has strong objective support, is really no evid...
H. L. MENCKEN
Government is actually the worst failure of civilized man. There has never been a really good one, a...
H. L. MENCKEN
The legislature, like the executive, has ceased to be even the creature of the people: it is the cre...
H. L. MENCKEN
The objection of the scandalmonger is not that she tells of racy doings, but that she pretends to be...
H. L. MENCKEN
God is the immemorial refuge of the incompetent, the helpless, the miserable. They find not only san...
H. L. MENCKEN
The movies today are too rich to have any room for genuine artists. They produce a few passable craf...
H. L. MENCKEN
Injustice is relatively easy to bear what stings is justice.
H. L. MENCKEN
The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the ...
H. L. MENCKEN
JUDGE, n: A law student who marks his own papers.
H. L. MENCKEN
Most people want security in this world, not liberty.
H. L. MENCKEN
The fact that I have no remedy for all the sorrows of the world is no reason for my accepting yours....
H. L. MENCKEN
Thanksgiving Day is a day devoted by persons with inflammatory rheumatism to thanking a loving Fathe...
H. L. MENCKEN
Temptation is a woman's weapon and man's excuse.
H. L. MENCKEN
The lunatic fringe wags the underdog.
H. L. MENCKEN
Hygiene is the corruption of medicine by morality. It is impossible to find a hygienist who does not...
H. L. MENCKEN
Opera in English, is about as sensible as baseball in Italian.
H. L. MENCKEN
The Belief that man is outfitted with an immortal soul, differing altogether from the engines which ...
H. L. MENCKEN
Alimony -- the ransom that the happy pay to the devil.
H. L. MENCKEN
A gentlemen is one who never strikes a woman without provocation.
H. L. MENCKEN
No one hates his job so heartily as a farmer.
H. L. MENCKEN
The public, with its mob yearning to be instructed, edified and pulled by the nose, demands certaint...
H. L. MENCKEN
It is the dull man who is always sure, and the sure man who is always dull.
H. L. MENCKEN
When women kiss it always reminds one of prize-fighters shaking hands.
H. L. MENCKEN
A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin.
H. L. MENCKEN
The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
H. L. MENCKEN
The only cure for contempt is counter-contempt.
H. L. MENCKEN
Imagine the Creator as a stand up comedian - and at once the world becomes explicable.
H. L. MENCKEN
It is now quite lawful for a Catholic woman to avoid pregnancy by a resort to mathematics, though sh...
H. L. MENCKEN
After all, all he did was string together a lot of old, well-known quotations.
H. L. MENCKEN
Unionism, seldom if ever, uses such powers as it has to ensure better work; almost always it devotes...
H. L. MENCKEN
I never agree with Communists or any other kind of kept men.
H. L. MENCKEN
The idea that leisure is of value in itself is only conditionally true. The average man simply spend...
H. L. MENCKEN
Remorse is regret that one waited so long to do it.
H. L. MENCKEN
Self-respect: the secure feeling that no one, as yet, is suspicious.
H. L. MENCKEN
Life is a dead-end street.
H. L. MENCKEN
It is now quite lawful for a Catholic woman to avoid pregnancy by a resort to mathematics, though sh...
H. L. MENCKEN
It doesn't take a majority to make a rebellion; it takes only a few determined leaders and a sound c...
H. L. MENCKEN
The difference between a moral man and a man of honor is that the latter regrets a discreditable act...
H. L. MENCKEN
No one ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.
H. L. MENCKEN
The truth is that the average schoolmaster, on all the lower levels, is and always must be essential...
H. L. MENCKEN
The more a man dreams, the less he believes.
H. L. MENCKEN
On one issue at least, men and women agree: they both distrust women.
H. L. MENCKEN
Unquestionably, there is progress. The average American now pays twice as much in taxes as he former...
H. L. MENCKEN
The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the...
H. L. MENCKEN
Before a man speaks, it is always safe to assume that he is a fool. After he speaks it is seldom nec...
H. L. MENCKEN
How little it takes to make life unbearable: a pebble in the shoe, a cockroach in the spaghetti, a w...
H. L. MENCKEN
The chief value of money lies in the fact that one lives in a world in which it is overestimated.
H. L. MENCKEN
Misogynist: A man who hates women as much as women hate one another.
H. L. MENCKEN
The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundre...
H. L. MENCKEN
Conscience is the inner voice that warns us somebody may be looking.
H. L. MENCKEN
The capacity of human beings to bore one another seems to be vastly greater than that of any other a...
H. L. MENCKEN
Nobody ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public.
H. L. MENCKEN
To die for an idea; it is unquestionably noble. But how much nobler it would be if men died for idea...
H. L. MENCKEN
The government consists of a gang of men exactly like you and me. They have, taking one with another...
H. L. MENCKEN
I believe that all government is evil, and that trying to improve it is largely a waste of time.
H. L. MENCKEN
It is impossible to imagine Goethe or Beethoven being good at billiards or golf.
H. L. MENCKEN
Alimony - the ransom that the happy pay to the devil.
H. L. MENCKEN
On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at la...
H. L. MENCKEN
Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.
H. L. MENCKEN
In war the heroes always outnumber the soldiers ten to one.
H. L. MENCKEN
The most costly of all follies is to believe passionately in the palpably not true. It is the chief ...
H. L. MENCKEN
It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common hones...
H. L. MENCKEN
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who would want to live in an institution?
H. L. MENCKEN
In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice t...
H. L. MENCKEN
The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led t...
H. L. MENCKEN
It doesn't take a majority to make a rebellion; it takes only a few determined leaders and a sou...
H. L. MENCKEN
Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey cage.
H. L. MENCKEN
An idealist is one who, on noticing that roses smell better than a cabbage, concludes that it will a...
H. L. MENCKEN
Every man sees in his relatives, and especially in his cousins, a series of grotesque caricatures of...
H. L. MENCKEN
Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband a month before she marries him and what...
H. L. MENCKEN
Democracy is only a dream: it should be put in the same category as Arcadia, Santa Claus, and Heaven...
H. L. MENCKEN
Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
H. L. MENCKEN
No one in this world, so far as I know - and I have searched the records for years, and employed age...
H. L. MENCKEN
The one permanent emotion of the inferior man is fear - fear of the unknown, the complex, the inexpl...
H. L. MENCKEN
No matter how happily a woman may be married, it always pleases her to discover that there is a nice...
H. L. MENCKEN
I never lecture, not because I am shy or a bad speaker, but simply because I detest the sort of peop...
H. L. MENCKEN
The most dangerous man to any government is the man who is able to think things out... without regar...
H. L. MENCKEN
Puritanism. The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
H. L. MENCKEN
I never smoked a cigarette until I was nine.
H. L. MENCKEN
If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents, he would promise them missionaries fo...
H. L. MENCKEN
It is not materialism that is the chief curse of the world, as pastors teach, but idealism. Men get ...
H. L. MENCKEN
Poetry has done enough when it charms, but prose must also convince.
H. L. MENCKEN
Before a man speaks it is always safe to assume that he is a fool. After he speaks, it is seldom nec...
H. L. MENCKEN
For it is mutual trust, even more than mutual interest that holds human associations together. Our f...
H. L. MENCKEN
Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't they'd be married too.
H. L. MENCKEN
Every election is a sort of advance auction sale of stolen goods.
H. L. MENCKEN
Unquestionably, there is progress. The average American now pays out twice as much in taxes as he fo...
H. L. MENCKEN
Legend: A lie that has attained the dignity of age.
H. L. MENCKEN
Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under.
H. L. MENCKEN
It is hard for the ape to believe he descended from man.
H. L. MENCKEN
Archbishop - A Christian ecclesiastic of a rank superior to that attained by Christ.
H. L. MENCKEN
Adultery is the application of democracy to love.
H. L. MENCKEN
Each party steals so many articles of faith from the other, and the candidates spend so much time ma...
H. L. MENCKEN
Have you ever watched a crab on the shore crawling backward in search of the Atlantic Ocean, and mis...
H. L. MENCKEN
A national political campaign is better than the best circus ever heard of, with a mass baptism and ...
H. L. MENCKEN
There is a saying in Baltimore that crabs may be prepared in fifty ways and that all of them are goo...
H. L. MENCKEN