I repeat, sir, that in whatever position you place a woman she is an ornament to society and a treasure to the world. As a sweetheart, she has few equals and no superiors; as a cousin, she is convenient; as a wealthy grandmother with an incurable distemper, she is precious; as a wet-nurse, she has no equal among men. What, sir, would the people of the earth be without woman? They would be scarce, sir, almighty scarce.
Mark Twain
Related What, sir, would the people of the earth be without woman? They would be scarce, sir, almighty scarc... MARK TWAIN What, sir, would the people of the earth be without woman? They would be scarce, sir, almighty scarc... MARK TWAIN What, sir, would the people of the earth be without woman? They would be scarce, sir, mighty scarce.... MARK TWAIN What would men be without women? Scarce, sir...mighty scarce. MARK TWAIN What would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty scarce. MARK TWAIN What's so lovely about Wonder Woman is yes, she has the strength and power of a goddess, but she... GAL GADOT There are approximately two trillion cells in the human body. You are never alone, there are always ... DWIGHT W. HAYES My maternal grandmother had what might be described in a school report as a 'lively imagination.... JEREMY HARDY Only fools wait, and only tools bait. CRE (Demi) is a woman who has kids, who has a career and still looks amazing first thing in the morning.... DONATELLA VERSACE She passed as a black woman. She was treated as a black woman. That is her place in history. She did... LARRY LESTER She is a true pleasure to coach. She doesn't use many excuses. It's yes-sir, no-sir. Always at pract... CHARLES VIDRINE My woman is as beautiful to me as a supernova in space with no end.The light she emits is pure and s... GARY F EVANS... A man is as good as he has to be, and a woman as bad as she dares. ELBERT HUBBARD She dotes on poetry, sir. She adores it; I may say that her whole soul and mind are wound up, and en... CHARLES DICKENS I'm not a liar, sir,' she said. "'No, I'm sure you sincerely become whatever it is you're prete... ORSON SCOTT CARD The test of civilization is the estimate of woman. Among savages she is a slave. In the dark ages ... GEORGE WILLIAM CURTIS A lot of teenagers write to me and say "I want to write a book. I want to get published." And those ... MAUREEN JOHNSON She has proven herself to be a likable and strong-willed woman. I am sure she will prove herself ver... DIANE ABBOTT Would you want you as a friend? PETER STROPLE Vita Sackville-West is one of my favorite female icons. She was a writer and a prolific gardener, bu... GWENDOLINE CHRISTIE In Cloud computing the difference between a dark cloud and a cloud with a silver lining, is the part... RAJAT MOHAN She plays many roles, certainly as a woman artist, as a Canadian artist, as an interpretive landscap... CHARLES HILL No matter what a woman's appearance may be, it will be used to undermine what she is saying and ... NAOMI WOLF Empathy is the new measurement of everything. It doesn't matter what religion you have, what God you... C. JOYBELL C. A woman when she is in travail hath sorrow, because her hour is come: but as soon as she is delivere... BIBLE Nothing is ever as good or as bad as it appears to be. JEFFREY FRY She is an extremely beautiful woman, lavishly endowed by nature with but a few flaws in the masterpi... RICHARD BURTON At 34 she is an extremely beautiful woman, lavishly endowed by nature with a few flaws in the master... RICHARD BURTON She is an Academy Award nominee. She has been in everything since the beginning of time. She is a gr... AMY ETTINGER His life seemed like a deck of cards, and in the midst of all those two’s and three’s someone ha... TEKOA MANNING Every time you see a black romance, it's over-the-top. There always has to be extreme hostility ... BERNIE MAC [This from the woman who is possibly the best driver of the golf ball in LPGA history: No one as lon... JULI INKSTER Michael, Eleanor is without a doubt the most beautiful woman who has ever or will ever live. If you ... TIFFANY REISZ It should not be surprised by seeing in our weird world that the people for enjoying own bread can a... ANUJ SOMANY Everyone out there is using you for their entertainment and what you mostly need is to be entertainm... SUPERNA BATHEJA Mystery is what makes women, woman. A woman without mystery is no woman. She is a girl who has yet d... IMANIA MARGRIA What I love in a woman is not what she is in and for herself, but the side of herself she turns towa... MILAN KUNDERA If it were a person, it would be a woman, a very dignified old lady. She is beautiful. She is royal.... MALCOLM MILLER No woman wants an abortion as she wants an ice cream cone or a Porsche. She wants an abortion as a... FREDERICA MATHEWES-GREEN A woman, especially if she has the misfortune of knowing anything, should conceal it as well as she ... JANE AUSTEN The woman is a reflection of her man's love. A well-loved woman sees the world through the lenses of... ALEXANDRA PINTO But he always licked to get visitors alone in the billiard room and tell them stories about a myster... C.S. LEWIS The opportunity to decieve others is ever present and often tempting, and each instance of deception... SAM HARRIS Man is defined as a human being and a woman as a female - whenever she behaves as a human being she ... SIMONE DE BEAUVOIR Man is defined as a human being and a woman as a female - whenever she behaves as a human being she ... SIMONE DE BEAUVOIR Life is not a game. Still, in this life, we choose the games we live to play. J.R. RIM When a woman has seen me, as you have, she belongs to me. She loves me forever. GASTON LEROUX (Salerio:) . . . if my gossip Report be an honest woman of her
word.
(Solanio:) I would she wer... WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE A woman would rather visit her own grave than the place where she has been young and beautiful after... THOMAS HARDY A woman would rather visit her own grave than the place where she has been young and beautiful after... CORRA MAY HARRIS I lay it down as a general rule, Harriet, that if a woman doubts as to whether she should accept a m... JANE AUSTEN A woman is as delicious as the food she cooks. NIELS MEYER Every woman should marry for her own advantage since her husband will represent her, as visible as h... PHILIPPA GREGORY She is absolutely inadmissible into society. Many a woman has a past, but I am told that she has at ... OSCAR WILDE She is absolutely inadmissible into society. Many a woman has a past, but I am told that she has a... OSCAR WILDE A writer has to have an imagination- that's what makes a writer. She has to be able to put herself i... WYKETHA K PARKMAN I would by no means wish a daughter of mine to be a progeny of learning; I don't think so much learn... RICHARD BRINSLEY SHERIDAN She was a gypsy, as soon as you unravelled the many layers to her wild spirit she was on her next qu... NIKKI ROWE I think she could have an MVP season. She is in a position where all she has to do is go out and pla... LINDA HARGROVE I suppose you all grant that woman is a human being. If she has a right to life she has a right to e... ERNESTINE ROSE She was heartily ashamed of her ignorance - a misplaced shame. Where people wish to attach, they sho... JANE AUSTEN As an Independent, she has no party backing... Her being the first Independent president trumps the ... GEENA DAVIS The Warrior Woman Code: A confident woman doesn't beg a man to stay, cry if they don't or... SHANNON L. ALDER A woman could be as beautiful as she felt herself to be. LAURA LEE GUHRKE Oh, but Ingrid Bergman is a woman's woman. I mean, she is everything a woman should be. She's the ki... GOLDIE HAWN Mother Superior jump the gun... -The Beatles, Happiness is a Warm Gun LAUREN MYRACLE A woman must continually watch herself. She is almost continually accompanied by her own image of he... JOHN BERGER An engaged woman is always more agreeable than a disengaged. She is satisfied with herself. Her care... JANE AUSTEN I don't think a woman riding a motorcycle thinks of herself as doing something that has sex appe... RACHEL KUSHNER The Girl was gone, buried in the past. She never wanted to hear that name again. She was a woman for... CATHERINE COOKSON It is a great mistake to suppose that a woman with no heart will be an easy creditor in the exchange... HARRIET BEECHER STOWE Nichole has one goal in life, as far as basketball, and that is to help her team win. She has no sel... JANE ALBRIGHT A woman has to change her nature if she is to be a wife. She has to learn to curb her tongue, to sup... PHILIPPA GREGORY A woman who thinks she is intelligent demands the same rights as man. An intelligent woman gives up. SIDONIE GABRIELLE COLETTE Yes, it was too late, and Sabina knew she would leave Paris, move on, and on again, because were she... MILAN KUNDERA In the teahouses one could hear the most absurd stories, such as how a in a certain place a huge spi... LAO SHE During my childhood I didn't need to hear stories about evil ogres eating children and so forth; the... LAO SHE Nicki Minaj is a very strong woman who knows exactly what she wants. As an artist, I understand her,... BEBE REXHA A woman is as old as she looks before breakfast. E. W. HOWE A woman is as old as she looks before breakfast EDGAR WATSON HOWE Hazel has to realize that her mom was wrong when she said, “I won’t be a mother anymore.” The ... JOHN GREEN She has done an outstanding job as superintendent. She has selected excellent people to work around ... ARNOLD LEVINE When she is older she will see in these resemblances a regrettable uniformity among individuals (the... MILAN KUNDERA She has a mind of her own. She's a very intelligent woman and she can make her own decisions. She's ... CARL BRUNO For a woman to get half as much credit as a man, she has to work twice as hard, and be twice as smar... CHARLOTTE WHITTON Sir,"she said,"you are no gentleman!" An apt observation,"he answered airily."And, you, M... MARGARET MITCHELL She is a playmaker. At halftime, she told her teammates to follow her and she would lead us back. We... STEVE HOLLOWAY she didn't need anyone. At Wheeler, even when she stood out with her pink hair and quilter army-surp... JODI PICOULT She had been looking all along for a friend, and it took her a while to discover that a lover was no... TONI MORRISON How lucky I am to have known somebody and something that saying goodbye to is so damned awful. EVANS G. VALENS I don't care what your politics are, I would wager that if you asked any American woman which ad... LETITIA BALDRIGE She pulled the bedclothes up as far as they would go and suppressed a perverse wish to have her old ... MEGAN WHALEN TURNER If the ghost that haunts the towns of Ypres and Arras and Albert is the staturory British Tommy, slo... LYN MACDONALD The woman who thinks she is intelligent demands equal rights with men. A woman who is intelligent do... SIDONIE GABRIELLE COLETTE I believe that there is a Matrix and... to be more accurate I am in the Pornography Matrix. DEYTH BANGER She dates some - women and men. She has slipped into bisexuality without needing to make a big thing... GABRIELLE ZEVIN Life is a re-discovery. BRIAN BLESSED If you think that life is a celebration full of party poppers and merry go rounds it's not it's a ga... GARY F EVANS... Life Is a Misconception. DEYTH BANGER
More Mark Twain
Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life. MARK TWAIN My books are like water; those of the great geniuses are wine. (Fortunately) everybody drinks water. MARK TWAIN Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered - either by themselves or by others. MARK TWAIN It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure tha... MARK TWAIN The wit knows that his place is at the tail of a procession. MARK TWAIN India has 2,000,000 gods and worships them all. In religion, all other countries are paupers; India ... MARK TWAIN Ideally a book would have no order to it, and the reader would have to discover his own. MARK TWAIN I never let schooling interfere with my education. MARK TWAIN Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits. MARK TWAIN Civilization is the limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities. MARK TWAIN The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed rig... MARK TWAIN There is no distinctly American criminal class - except Congress. MARK TWAIN In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours. MARK TWAIN Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here firs... MARK TWAIN But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one... MARK TWAIN The more you explain it, the more I don't understand it. MARK TWAIN The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter. MARK TWAIN Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of ti... MARK TWAIN It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog. MARK TWAIN The more things are forbidden, the more popular they become. MARK TWAIN The lack of money is the root of all evil. MARK TWAIN Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company. MARK TWAIN Optimist: day dreamer more elegantly spelled. MARK TWAIN Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident. MARK TWAIN Man was made at the end of the week's work, when God was tired. MARK TWAIN Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul. MARK TWAIN There are lies, damned lies and statistics. MARK TWAIN Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable. MARK TWAIN Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside... MARK TWAIN Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. MARK TWAIN The very ink with which history is written is merely fluid prejudice. MARK TWAIN Often it does seem such a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat. MARK TWAIN I make it a rule never to smoke while I'm sleeping. MARK TWAIN The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause. MARK TWAIN All generalizations are false, including this one. MARK TWAIN 'Classic.' A book which people praise and don't read. MARK TWAIN The human race is a race of cowards; and I am not only marching in that procession but carrying a ba... MARK TWAIN The secret of getting ahead is getting started. MARK TWAIN Let us endeavor so to live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry. MARK TWAIN I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places. MARK TWAIN Denial ain't just a river in Egypt. MARK TWAIN If I owned half of that dog, I would shoot my half. MARK TWAIN What is Man? Man is a noisome bacillus whom Our Heavenly Father created because he was disappointed ... MARK TWAIN When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. B... MARK TWAIN When you have prayed for victory you have prayed for many unmentioned results which follow victorymu... MARK TWAIN The teacher reminded us that Romes liberties were not auctioned off in a day, but were bought slowly... MARK TWAIN By his father he is English, by his mother he is Americanto my mind the blend which makes the perfec... MARK TWAIN So I became a newspaperman. I hated to do it but I couldnt find honest employment. MARK TWAIN The people of those foreign countries are very, very ignorant. They looked curiously at the costumes... MARK TWAIN We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in itand stop there; lest w... MARK TWAIN The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large mattertis the diff... MARK TWAIN Say the report is exaggerated. MARK TWAIN A jay hasnt got any more principle than a Congressman. A jay will lie, a jay will steal, a jay will ... MARK TWAIN To my mind Judas Iscariot was nothing but a low, mean, premature Congressman. MARK TWAIN I think I can say, and say with pride, that we have some legislatures that bring higher prices than ... MARK TWAIN A myriad of men are born; they labor and sweat and struggle; ...they squabble and scold and fight; t... MARK TWAIN Life does not consist mainly, or even largely, of facts and happenings. It consists mainly of the st... MARK TWAIN Annihilation has no terrors for me, because I have already tried it before I was born --a hundred mi... MARK TWAIN Whoever has lived long enough to find out what life is, knows how deep a debt of gratitude we owe to... MARK TWAIN We never become really and genuinely our entire and honest selves until we are dead -- and not then ... MARK TWAIN Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry. MARK TWAIN All say, How hard it is that we have to die -- a strange complaint to come from the mouths of people... MARK TWAIN Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find... MARK TWAIN Write without pay until somebody offers to pay you. If nobody offers within three years, sawing wood... MARK TWAIN As to the adjective, when in doubt strike it out. MARK TWAIN I am admonished in many ways that time is pushing me inexorably along. I am approaching the threshol... MARK TWAIN Methuselah lived to be 969 years old . You boys and girls will see more in the next fifty years than... MARK TWAIN The older we grow the greater becomes our wonder at how much ignorance one can contain without burst... MARK TWAIN When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old. MARK TWAIN All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure. MARK TWAIN The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do wh... MARK TWAIN To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know because I've done it a thousand ... MARK TWAIN Never have a battle of wits with an unarmed person. MARK TWAIN It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native American criminal... MARK TWAIN Man was made at the end of the week's work, when God was tired MARK TWAIN It is a mistake that there is no bath that will cure people's manners, but drowning would help. MARK TWAIN Man is the only animal that blushes - or needs to. MARK TWAIN Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting... MARK TWAIN To succeed in the other trades, capacity must be shown; in the law, concealment of it will do. MARK TWAIN Between us, we cover all knowledge; he knows all that can be known and I know the rest. MARK TWAIN The church is always trying to get other people to reform; it might not be a bad idea to reform itse... MARK TWAIN Stars are good too. I wish I could get some to put in my hair. But I suppose I never can. You would ... MARK TWAIN There are German songs which can make a stranger to the language cry. MARK TWAIN The trouble with the world is not that people know too little, but that they know so many things tha... MARK TWAIN Optimist: Day-dreamer more elegantly spelled MARK TWAIN Necessity is the mother of "taking chances" MARK TWAIN Distance lends enchantment to the view MARK TWAIN Be good and you will be lonesome. MARK TWAIN Chastity - you can carry it too far MARK TWAIN To be good is noble, but to teach others how to be good is nobler--and less trouble. MARK TWAIN Most writers regard truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are most economical in it... MARK TWAIN Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't. MARK TWAIN When you cannot get a compliment in any other way pay yourself one. MARK TWAIN There is nothing you can say in answer to a compliment. I have been complimented myself a great many... MARK TWAIN Never learn to do anything. If you don't learn, you will always find someone else to do it for you. MARK TWAIN I can't do literary work for the rest of this year because I'm meditating another lawsuit and lookin... MARK TWAIN Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would... MARK TWAIN Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which, before their union, were not perceived to have any relati... MARK TWAIN Wit and Humor -- if any difference, it is in duration -- lightning and electric light. Same material... MARK TWAIN Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of Humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no... MARK TWAIN There is a great deal of human nature in people. MARK TWAIN If man had created man, he would be ashamed of his performance. MARK TWAIN There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race, and finish the farce. MARK TWAIN The human race was always interesting and we know by its past that it will always continue so, monot... MARK TWAIN Man is a creature made at the end of the week's work when God was tired. MARK TWAIN Such is the human race. Often it does seem such a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat... MARK TWAIN It ain't those parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it is the parts th... MARK TWAIN Of all the various kinds of sexual intercourse, this has the least to recommend it. As an amusement,... MARK TWAIN Scientists have odious manners, except when you prop up their theory; then you can borrow money of t... MARK TWAIN Loyalty to country ALWAYS. Loyalty to government, when it deserves it. MARK TWAIN Man is the only creature who has a nasty mind. MARK TWAIN We like a man to come right out and say what he thinks, if we agree with him. MARK TWAIN O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover th... MARK TWAIN A man never reaches that dizzy height of wisdom that he can no longer be lead by the nose. MARK TWAIN Happiness ain't a thing in itself --it's only a contrast with something that ain't pleasant. And so,... MARK TWAIN There are people who can do all fine and heroic things but one: keep from telling their happiness to... MARK TWAIN Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life. The conviction of the rich... MARK TWAIN Grief can take care of itself; but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide i... MARK TWAIN Let us be grateful to Adam, our benefactor. He cut us out of the blessing of idleness and won for us... MARK TWAIN Intellectual work is misnamed; it is a pleasure, a dissipation, and is its own highest reward. MARK TWAIN Work and play are words used to describe the same thing under differing conditions. MARK TWAIN I do not like work even when someone else does it. MARK TWAIN Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do, and play consists of whatever a body is not oblig... MARK TWAIN Often the surest way to convey misinformation is to tell the strict truth. MARK TWAIN Truth is neither alive nor dead; it just aggravates itself all the time. MARK TWAIN No real gentleman will tell the naked truth in the presence of ladies. MARK TWAIN We had the sky up there, and we used to lay on our backs and look up at them, and discuss whether th... MARK TWAIN Man is a Religious Animal. He is the only Religious Animal. He is the only animal that has the True ... MARK TWAIN When you ascend the hill of prosperity, may you not meet a friend. MARK TWAIN Prosperity is the surest breeder of insolence I know. MARK TWAIN Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed. MARK TWAIN We need not worry so much about what man descends from; it's what he descends to that shames the hum... MARK TWAIN There's always something about your success that displeases even your best friends. MARK TWAIN I cannot see how a man of any large degree of humorous perception can ever be religious -- except he... MARK TWAIN There was never a century nor a country that was short of experts who knew the Deity's mind and were... MARK TWAIN People are much more willing to lend you books than bookcases. MARK TWAIN My books are water; those of the great geniuses are wine -- everybody drinks water. MARK TWAIN A big leather-bound volume makes an ideal razor strap. A thin book is useful to stick under a table ... MARK TWAIN When the doctrine of allegiance to party can utterly up-end a man's moral constitution and make a te... MARK TWAIN In statesmanship get the formalities right, never mind about the moralities. MARK TWAIN Fleas can be taught nearly anything that a Congressman can. MARK TWAIN The lack of money is the root of all evils. MARK TWAIN His money is twice tainted: taint yours and taint mine. MARK TWAIN Both marriage and death ought to be welcome: The one promises happiness, doubtless the other assures... MARK TWAIN All schools, all colleges, have two great functions: to confer, and to conceal, valuable knowledge. ... MARK TWAIN Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run. Traini... MARK TWAIN We have a criminal jury system which is superior to any in the world; and its efficiency is only m... MARK TWAIN There are many scapegoats for our sins, but the most popular is providence. MARK TWAIN It is by the goodness of God that we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech... MARK TWAIN There isn't a single human characteristic that can be safely labeled as American. MARK TWAIN War talk by men who have been in a war is always interesting; whereas moon talk by a poet who has no... MARK TWAIN There comes a time in every rightly constructed boy's life when he has a raging desire to go somewhe... MARK TWAIN To arrive at a just estimate of a renowned man's character one must judge it by the standards of his... MARK TWAIN One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives. MARK TWAIN A wise man does not waste so good a commodity as lying for naught. MARK TWAIN A lie can run around the world six times while the truth is still trying to put on its pants. MARK TWAIN I have a higher and grander standard of principle than George Washington. He could not lie; I can, b... MARK TWAIN The public is the only critic whose opinion is worth anything at all. MARK TWAIN A good memory and a tongue tied in the middle is a combination which gives immortality to conversati... MARK TWAIN Only a government that is rich and safe can afford to be a democracy, for democracy is the most expe... MARK TWAIN Satan hasn't a single salaried helper; the Opposition employ a million. MARK TWAIN It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world, and moral courage so rare. MARK TWAIN Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear--not absence of fear. Except a creature be part cowar... MARK TWAIN Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself MARK TWAIN When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man aro... MARK TWAIN Faith is believing what you know ain't so. MARK TWAIN It was the schoolboy who said, Faith is believing what you know ain't so. MARK TWAIN Never let formal education get in the way of your learning. MARK TWAIN There is nothing training cannot do. Nothing is above its reach. It can turn bad morals to good; it ... MARK TWAIN I've never let my school interfere with my education. MARK TWAIN In a good bookroom you feel in some mysterious way that you are absorbing the wisdom contained in al... MARK TWAIN Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to reform (or pause and reflect). MARK TWAIN If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal di... MARK TWAIN A person that started in to carry a cat home by the tail was getting knowledge that was always going... MARK TWAIN Man is the Reasoning Animal. Such is the claim. I think it is open to dispute. Indeed, my experiment... MARK TWAIN Of all God's creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. That one is the ca... MARK TWAIN If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the r... MARK TWAIN The Bible has noble poetry in it... and some good morals and a wealth of obscenity, and upwards of a... MARK TWAIN Most writers regard the truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are economical in its... MARK TWAIN The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why. MARK TWAIN Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the reall... MARK TWAIN If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed. MARK TWAIN ′Classic′ - a book which people praise and don't read. MARK TWAIN Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination. MARK TWAIN I have never let my schooling interfere with my education. MARK TWAIN The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read. MARK TWAIN Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Trut... MARK TWAIN Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it. MARK TWAIN A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes. MARK TWAIN All right, then, I'll go to hell. MARK TWAIN The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven not man's. MARK TWAIN Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in. MARK TWAIN If Christ were here there is one thing he would not be—a Christian. MARK TWAIN To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with. MARK TWAIN Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of joy you must have somebody to divide it ... MARK TWAIN Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody. MARK TWAIN Education: the path from cocky ignorance to miserable uncertainty. MARK TWAIN Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it. MARK TWAIN I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn’t know. MARK TWAIN If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. MARK TWAIN