I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn’t know.

Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.

Each of us knows it all, and knows he knows it all—the rest, to a man, are fools and eluded. One man knows there is a hell, the next one knows there isn’t; one man knows monarchy is best, the next one knows it isn’t; one man knows high tariff is right, the next man knows it isn’t; one man knows there are witches, the next one knows there aren’t; one sect knows its religion is the only true one, there are sixty-four thousand five hundred million sects that know it isn’t so.

Сега не съм по-мързелив, отколкото бях преди 40г., но то е защото още преди 40г. бях достигнал крайния предел на мързела. Човек не е в състояние да надхвърли възможностите ти.

Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would live forever.

I didn't have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead.