Britney is one of our great comedians. She has been hilarious,
Andy Borowitz
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She was hilarious. She was probably like the life of our wing.
JENNIFER HOWARD At the heart of this all is Andy - was Andy. That's what she loved, helping people one at a time.
DOUG ANDERSON Lisa is one of the funniest comedians. She absolutely killed me. I loved it.
RON WHITE She's very smart. She is pretty sharp. She's really concerned about people. She has a hilarious sens...
CHRISTINA MCMASTER You can't hate Britney Spears because, you know what, no matter what Britney Spears been doing, ...
T-PAIN Chris has a great sense of humor, and his friends are hilarious.
EMILY HORVATH [Andy Milonakis, one of the more polarizing comedians to hit the airwaves recently and star of his o...
ANDY MILONAKIS She has been great for our program over the years. She does everything well. She is the kind of play...
CAROLYN ECKHARDT For the last couple of years, Miller has been a solid player. She is one of our top hitters, and she...
BILL HENDERSON Kim organized our defense; she is exceptional at 1-on-1 defending, has great speed and is one of the...
ERIK FARFAN Being a celebrity is addictive. Britney would like to go back to being Britney one day.
JANICE MIN Aditi is a comedy superstar over in India. She's only one of three female English-speaking comed...
HASAN MINHAJ Britney has been horrified by what has happened in New Orleans. She's not particularly keen on filmi...
BRITNEY SPEARS Great Britain has long been one of our strongest friends in the free world.
MARSHA BLACKBURN Linda has been great. She has been real good with the younger players. She has been a good mentor fo...
SCOTT ATHERLEY Blacks on prime-time TV are only portrayed as comedians - and often in no better a light than 'A...
DON CORNELIUS Canada has been a breeding ground for great comedic actors, sketch artists and stand-up comedians. W...
HARLAND WILLIAMS One of our great thematic traditions in Bad Religion has been to question human nature.
GREG GRAFFIN We've got to see if she'll actually pick up (the game) fast enough.
ANDY BEEN She's probably my biggest scoring threat right now.
ANDY BEEN Even though we're rebuilding, who knows what will pan out. They're enjoying it. I have 26, 27 girls ...
ANDY BEEN I hate to say to the seniors that we're rebuilding. But we are.
ANDY BEEN One of the things that has made Canada a great country historically has been our traditionally low c...
STEPHEN HARPER All the way through, Tony was solid. We let one slip away there at the end, but Andy has had a great...
DWIGHT FRITZ Get over yourselves with the coffee. You know, we all have it. It's like being famous for mustard or...
ANDY BOROWITZ Who Moved My Soap? The CEO's Guide to Surviving Prison,
ANDY BOROWITZ I am resigning effective immediately. Bo Derek will become the new vice president.
ANDY BOROWITZ I think the reason that satire is on the rise is because the real news is so bad right now, ... I'd ...
ANDY BOROWITZ I feel like Cal Ripken or something, ... This insanity is all self-imposed.
ANDY BOROWITZ I wanted to get away from big, expensive network projects, ... so I moved to New York and I did noth...
ANDY BOROWITZ At the Pentagon, Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld said that the decision to pay recruits in gaso...
ANDY BOROWITZ Army Offers to Pay Recruits in Gasoline.
ANDY BOROWITZ After Sept. 11, I didn't write a piece for a couple of days because I thought people wouldn't want m...
ANDY BOROWITZ Amy will pitch 50 percent or more of our innings. Her pitches have been sharp and she has built her ...
KATHY ARENDSEN She is a tremendous champion and she has not missed a national championships since 1992. She has bee...
DAVID RAITH She has great stick skills. She is … fast, she does a great job of protecting her stick. She has g...
JEN MCKEEFREY She has great stick skills. She is
fast, she does a great job of protecting her stick. She has gr...
JEN MCKEEFREY The town has always been behind Andy Card. He's just a very special individual.
M. SHIRLEY AUSTIN Katie is a great player. She has one of the purest jump shots in Division I.
NOELLE QUINN Raymond's ... Britney (Spears) and our baby.
BRAD GARRETT She has been a great, great surprise. She led us in blocks and she hurt teams that focused too much ...
JEFF NESBITT I used to dread going on 'Politically Incorrect' with 'up and coming' comedians. But...
ANN COULTER Louis C. K. is one of my all time favorite standup comedians.
AUBREY PLAZA For me, Kate McKinnon can do no wrong. She is an absolute genius. She's a hero of mine. Melissa ...
LAURA BENANTI She has been just hot; she has been swinging a great bat. When we went to Boise, she hit line drive ...
LARRY BIEBER That's a worry. You have to focus on her. She's been so successful when she's close to the basket. S...
KAREN FRIEL She's one of our strongest distance runners. She's a girl that has been through the program and been...
DAVE JELLERSON Britney would make a better prostitute than Christina. She's thicker.
SNOOP DOGG I am in total shock and disbelief. She is a class act. She should be applauded for all the great thi...
CINDY STEIN She has been stepping up all year for us. She just had a great game.
JEN UHL We have great confidence in Andy and that he will manage and run the program at a high level during ...
BOB GOIN She has been a great supporter throughout all the years we've been married. She's really showed me w...
EDGAR WINTER She is so bubbly and so dedicated. She has been a wonderful, wonderful addition to our school.
CAROLYN KOOS It is better to be a has-been than a never-was.
C. NORTHCOTE PARKINSON She is flat out a great athlete. She is one of the quickest people on the team, so to get her out th...
JEANNIE THOMPSON Tiffany has gotten a hit in every game we've played this year except one, and, defensively, she has ...
KIM PINKHAM Casey has been a great key for us. She came in this season and we thought maybe she'd make varsity a...
BRIAN CORCORAN She has been a really great leader on and off the field.
LAURA ODORCZYK I do like Britney Spears. I think she's cute. I think she's fun. And I like her records. You...
ELTON JOHN She definitely has not been forgotten. She's a part of our lives.
ANDREA BOOKHART (Stephanie) is one of our emotional leaders in terms of bringing energy with intensity to matches. E...
MAT IANDOLO Andy was a great skier. His accident woke a lot of us up. If it could happen to Andy it could happen...
BRIAN MCQUEEN It didn't even shake her up. She thought it was hilarious.
ELAINE WILLIAMS Polly has been a great leader and representative of our program.
CINDY FISHER Our team chemistry from day one has been great. Our leadership from our veteran players has been bet...
TONY DITUCCI Most of the world knows him as the dad on Full House , but I know him as this funny, sick comedian. ...
DOUG ELLIN One of our goalies is out sick and our other goalie Jordan McCormack was filling in and she did a gr...
BETH MCNAMARA One of our goalies is out sick and our other goalie Jordan McCormack was filling in and she did a gr...
BETH MCNAMARA Sony?s brand is one of the company?s greatest assets, ... Andy will work toward creating a brand per...
HOWARD STRINGER Melissa is a very versatile player. She has a great game sense and a great defensive presence on the...
JENNIFER AVERILL Polly has done a fantastic job overseeing some of our most important movies. She has great creative ...
JEFF ROBINOV Our bullpen has been great. We've been pounding the strike zone.
RON POLK There are a lot of great moments, great times. Hilarious, the movie was, but it had a deep meaning.
JAMES BROWN Britney didn't know anything about it. She had nothing to do with it, ... Oh no!
BRITNEY SPEARS She is an Academy Award nominee. She has been in everything since the beginning of time. She is a gr...
AMY ETTINGER Jessi is a great person. She really is. She's been a friend to me all through all my bad times, ...
WAYLON JENNINGS You can be someone's friend and have sex with them. The trick is you have to want their emotional an...
LAURELL K. HAMILTON Comedians haven't improved. Nothing has improved but taxes.
WILL ROGERS Kelly had a very good swim. It's the fastest she has been in the event in several years. Our goal wa...
JOHN MORRISON Andy Hastings came up big tonight. He's one of our better free throw shooters and hit them when we n...
MARK MCCRAY Undoubtedly the desire for food has been, and still is, one of the main causes of great political ev...
BERTRAND RUSSELL We are very fortunate to have (David) for our event as he leaves for a European tour soon after. 'Yo...
CONSTANCE BERNSTEIN [This from the woman who is possibly the best driver of the golf ball in LPGA history: No one as lon...
JULI INKSTER Andy is one of the most experienced individuals in telecommunications sales. He has a proven track r...
DAVE CURRY Katie (Armour) has done a great job this season as a freshman. She has stepped up and been a great a...
BRENDA COLDREN We have been working together many years and she has always been a great support for her students. S...
MARGARET MILLER She can cover a lot of ground and is our quarterback in the outfield. She also has a great stick, so...
EDGEY ARBUCKLE Another good start with great passing, movement and defense. Our defense has been good and our team ...
CHUCK RAMSEY That's so Andy always has plenty of hot water on hand.
LYNNE BLACK [For all that, their work with Bittová has been one of their more adventurous outings. She describe...
CARNEGIE HALL [For all that, their work with Bittová has been one of their more adventurous outings. She describe...
CARNEGIE HALL She's one of those athletes that whatever sport she picks up, she's going to be good at. In track an...
GERALD MOSLEY Yes, she has been released. She is at the Ministry of Interior. She has spoken with her mother by ph...
LATFULLAH MASHAL She has grown up around fashion and creativity. She has a great sense of what makes women beautiful ...
JANET NOEL Andy is our go-to guy. He has the green light to shoot the 3. Our other guys had to step up to beat ...
COACH DAVID GERRISH All great comedians make me laugh, but people make me laugh more.
LOUIE ANDERSON I'd trust my own kids with Downing, and I'm sure Andy is going to do great things at UNC. All three ...
JEFF KETRON One of my heroes has always been Barbie. She may not do anything, but she always looks amazing doing...
PARIS HILTON I'd like to dedicate this to Britney (Spears) and our baby.
BRAD GARRETT I have to dedicate this to Britney (Spears) and our baby,
BRAD GARRETT
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ANDY GOLDSWORTHY A stone is ingrained with geological and historical memories.
ANDY GOLDSWORTHY Don't rule out working with your hands. It does not preclude using your head.
ANDY ROONEY I just wish we knew a little less about his urethra and a little more about his arms sales to Iran.
ANDY ROONEY The federal government has sponsored research that has produced a tomato that is perfect in every re...
ANDY ROONEY Obscenities... I think a lot of dumb people do it because they can't think of what they want to ...
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ANDY ROONEY If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one.
ANDY ROONEY I like ice hockey, but it's a frustrating game to watch. It's hard to keep your eyes on both...
ANDY ROONEY All men are not created equal but should be treated as though they were under the law.
ANDY ROONEY Would a real man get caught eating a twinkie?
ANDY ROONEY Computers may save time but they sure waste a lot of paper. About 98 percent of everything printed o...
ANDY ROONEY We need people who can actually do things. We have too many bosses and too few workers.
ANDY ROONEY People will generally accept facts as truth only if the facts agree with what they already believe.
ANDY ROONEY I didn't get old on purpose, it just happened. If you're lucky, it could happen to you.
ANDY ROONEY Nothing in fine print is ever good news.
ANDY ROONEY Vegetarian - that's an old Indian word meaning lousy hunter.
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ANDY ROONEY Sociological critics are waste makers.
ANDY WARHOL Straight people say, 'You know you're just gay,' and gay people say, 'You know you...
ANDY DICK I've really hung in there with my BlackBerry. The main reason I like it better than an iPhone is...
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ANDY SERKIS I met Jack Bruce, one of my heroes, in a studio while doing some recording. England had just beat Sc...
ANDY PARTRIDGE I work out at Will Space four times a week. It's a private training gym. It's owned by my tr...
ANDY COHEN Now I do bowling, golf, and tennis. I want to be a good bowler.
ANDY LAU Fantasy love is much better than reality love. Never doing it is very exciting. The most exciting at...
ANDY WARHOL I love divas. Madonna, Mariah, Beyonce, Britney.
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ANDY WARHOL Dying is the most embarrassing thing that can ever happen to you, because someone's got to take care...
ANDY WARHOL Our greatest prejudice is against death. It spans age, gender and race. We spend immeasurable amount...
ANDY WEBSTER Everyone needs a fantasy.
ANDY WARHOL We live in an age when the traditional great subjects - the human form, the landscape, even newer tr...
ANDY WARHOL Fantasy love is much better than reality love.
ANDY WARHOL I want to die with my blue jeans on.
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ANDY WARHOL Art? That's a man's name.
ANDY WARHOL I always like to see if the art across the street is better than mine.
ANDY WARHOL I had a lot of dates but I decided to stay home and dye my eyebrows.
ANDY WARHOL An artist is somebody who produces things that people don't need to have.
ANDY WARHOL I'm afraid that if you look at a thing long enough, it loses all of its meaning.
ANDY WARHOL I just happen to like ordinary things. When I paint them, I don't try to make them extraordinary...
ANDY WARHOL Art is what you can get away with.
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ANDY GARCIA I don't think the government is out to get me or help someone else get me but it wouldn't su...
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ANDY WARHOL If you think education is expensive, try ignorance!
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ANDY WARHOL Anyone who likes golf on television would enjoy watching the grass grow on the greens.
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ANDY WARHOL Isn't life a series of images that change as they repeat themselves?
ANDY WARHOL They say a lot of women would like to see me naked, but there's not a lens long enough for that.
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ANDY WARHOL Before I was shot, I always thought that I was more half-there than all-there -- I always suspected ...
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ANDY WARHOL They always say that time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself.
ANDY WARHOL They say that time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself
ANDY WARHOL Oh,” Lewis said, “well if you won’t let us then— Wait…wait a minute.… I’m looking at m...
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ANDY WEIR The screen went black before I was out of the airlock. Turns out the “L” in “LCD” stands for...
ANDY WEIR Maybe I’ll post a consumer review. “Brought product to surface of Mars. It stopped working. 0/10...
ANDY WEIR To them, equipment failure is terrifying. To me, it’s “Tuesday.
ANDY WEIR I guess you could call it a "failure", but I prefer the term "learning experience".
ANDY WEIR In the future everyone will be famous for fifteen minutes.
ANDY WARHOL Call me All-American, but I love Ham and Cheese sandwiches. And not just any old ham and cheese sand...
ANDY RODDICK When you are younger, you are running on that pure naive adrenalin, you don't have any real resp...
ANDY TAYLOR Dinner 'conversation' at the Cohens' meant my sister, mom, and I relaying in brutal deta...
ANDY COHEN Gollum was so interesting to me because he's morally ambivalent, and I love the notion of a ques...
ANDY SERKIS My favorite sounds are the high, spacey ones that are very ambient.
ANDY SUMMERS I got bitten by the free software bug in February of 1998 around the time of the Mozilla announcemen...
ANDY HERTZFELD I'm in the early stages of a film called 'Freezing Time' about Eadweard Muybridge, the V...
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ANDY SERKIS My livelihood depends on the art of animators.
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ANDY SERKIS Let's make a statement to the airlines just to get their attention. We'll pick a week next y...
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ANDY KINDLER Human beings are born solitary, but everywhere they are in chains - daisy chains - of interactivity....
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ANDY STANLEY Being good in business is the most fascinating kind of art. Making money is art and working is art a...
ANDY WARHOL Making money is art and working is art and good business is the best art.
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ANDY SERKIS Gollum is entirely based on the notion of addiction. The way that the ring pervades him, makes him c...
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ANDY SERKIS Thank God for Skype!
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ANDY BIERSACK They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself.
ANDY WARHOL Snow provokes responses that reach right back to childhood.
ANDY GOLDSWORTHY We teach about how to drive in school, but not how to manage finances.
ANDY WILLIAMS In the future, everyone will be famous for 15 minutes.
ANDY WARHOL Don't pay any attention to what they write about you. Just measure it in inches.
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ANDY SAMBERG Class Day is a terrible name for a day when you don't have to go to any class.
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ANDY SAMBERG I'm a big Letterman fan.
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ANDY SAMBERG I used to stay up at night and sneak into the TV room, past my parents, who were asleep, to watch Sa...
ANDY SAMBERG A sign now of success with a certain audience when you do a short comedy piece, anywhere, is that it...
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ANDY WARHOL What's great about this country is that America started the tradition where the richest consumer...
ANDY WARHOL Great creativity is astonishingly, absurdly, rationally, irrationally powerful.
ANDY HOBSBAWM When I started playing the bass, I became kind of fascinated by it and started investigating various...
ANDY ROURKE Obviously Madison Memorial is the better team. And that's the bottom line.
ANDY POLKA I was with all of the guys today, and we were all just talking about how excited we are. Everyone el...
ANDY POLKA The third time is the best when you are a senior. But every year is different.
ANDY POLKA (Randall) challenged us. We definitely came out soft. He didn't tell us to make any changes, he told...
ANDY POLKA He was real nervous. I took off my jacket, put him on the ground and wrestled with him for about ten...
ANDY PIPHER The way I'm looking at it at the moment and the impression that I'm getting from the people in Canad...
ANDY PICK A chance, as a coach, to take a team to the World Cup finals is probably as high up the tree as it g...
ANDY PICK