I feel like Cal Ripken or something, ... This insanity is all self-imposed.


Andy Borowitz

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All of my buddies and I wanted to be Cal Ripken.
STEVE CLEVENGER
Cal Ripken is steady, he focuses on his job, and he's a good guy.
BRADLEY WHITFORD
If Albert Einstein was right, Cal Ripken should have been a CEO or politician rather than a shortsto...
DON YAEGER
Cal Ripken is steady, he focuses on his job, and he's a good guy.
BRADLEY WHITFORD
I can understand why Cal Ripken wanted to keep playing, ... It's a rarity. I think it defined my car...
JERRY GREEN
Everyone got a follower, how good or bad is all this shit, it's another topic… JUst leave it for l...
DEYTH BANGER
A truly creative person rids him or herself of all self-imposed limitations.
GERALD G. JAMPOLSKY
A truly creative person rids him or herself of all self-imposed limitations.
GERALD JAMPOLSKY
A truly creative person rids him or herself of all self-imposed limitations.
GERALD G JAMPOLSKY
All limits are self imposed.
ICARUS
I feel like the Cal Ripkin of rock n' roll.
BUTCH TRUCKS
Natural born geniuses, like Mozart or Shakespeare, don’t have anything more than you — they have...
DEREK RYDALL
Rise above the deceptions and temptations of the mind. This is your duty. You are born for this only...
SIVANANDA SARASWATI
It’s this or nothing at all.
R.J. GROVES
Fear is the ultimate self imposed illusion.
JEFFREY BENJAMIN
This dwarf still observes the world from his own self-imposed height.
DEJAN STOJANOVIC
...And of course, your dad was always talking about you, so between him and Jenna, I feel like I alr...
RACHEL HAWKINS
Kyubey: ...Oh, geez. I never would have thought you capable of throwing your friend off a bridge. Th...
MAGICA QUARTET
Whenever someone or something makes you feel insecure or feel unsure of yourself, your self esteem w...
DR ANIL KUMAR SINHA
Expectations lead to self imposed limitations
GAIL MARIE MACLEAN
At the heart of this all is Andy - was Andy. That's what she loved, helping people one at a time.
DOUG ANDERSON
Aye, well, I've got my garden.
LIKE I
I told my Nike representative, 'Why didn't you guys use me for this?''' Williams said, laughing.
LIKE I
On the interception, I was out of bounds,
LIKE I
casually made his 'abort black fetuses' argument.
LIKE I
I can field my position. If I start worrying about being ready for a line drive too soon that means ...
LIKE I
I told him that he played a great game,'' said Falcons quarterback Michael Vick , who like Manning w...
LIKE I
I was so concerned with getting the ball out of my hands and not taking the sack, that sometimes I t...
LIKE I
I knew I had to throw the ball better,'' Manning said of his poor start.
LIKE I
I think the reason that I have that title or that moniker is because people don't know what to expec...
LIKE I
You're either ready and prepared to take on the task, or you're not,'' he said.
LIKE I
I did not have one butterfly out there today,'' he said.
LIKE I
Married to the Mob.
LIKE I
Hello you're with Drudge.
LIKE I
I don't expect Christian Fundamentalists to reach out to me. They are adamant that homosexuals are i...
LIKE I
throw enough shit at the wall and some should stick?
LIKE I
I'm not happy, that's all I can say about it,'' he said.
LIKE I
This is a tremendous shock. Elrod has been such a big figure in Baltimore for so long. He was as muc...
CAL RIPKEN
Everywhere you go around the country, people relate to the consecutive games streak in one shape or ...
CAL RIPKEN
It was an emotional night, an extraordinary moment, ... I wish Dad was there to touch and feel the s...
CAL RIPKEN
Tonight, I stand here, overwhelmed, as my name is linked with the great and courageous Lou Gehrig, ....
CAL RIPKEN
Baseball's in my blood... I've found out the last couple of years I've got a big interest in teachin...
CAL RIPKEN
I don't want to think it's true. I'm in a state of denial,
CAL RIPKEN
I guarantee you you'll feel better.
CAL RIPKEN
To me, Kirby is at his best sitting at a card table playing cards, talking to him, stories being sha...
CAL RIPKEN
That's the result of the black cloud on baseball, ... Until it's rid of steroids, people are natural...
CAL RIPKEN
This World Series isn't about crowning a champion. I think the kids will remember this as a life exp...
CAL RIPKEN
He's a real person. He was genuine. He was considerate. He was everything a friend should be.
CAL RIPKEN
We're not trying to measure our success against the Little League, ... but we have the only league t...
CAL RIPKEN
When you play for so long, you see it's going to come to an end and you wonder, Is your talent dimin...
CAL RIPKEN
This is our third year here, and we're building momentum each time, ... I think our World Series has...
CAL RIPKEN
shocked, surprised, just like everyone else. I hope there's a reason or an explanation.
CAL RIPKEN
Your heart just breaks, that's all. But you can't judge or point fingers. You just have to be lucky ...
AUDREY HEPBURN
I'm not head-strong, and I'm not egotistical. I understand certain things better now. I won&...
ERIC DAVIS
I'm Bam Margera. And I feel like kicking my dad's butt all day today.
BAM MARGERA
I feel like this is part of something big he is doing, ... Like taking over the world.
DAVID JACOBSON
My self-imposed mandate is to be the voice for the voiceless.
DIONNE WARWICK
We won't surprise anybody this year. Last year was fun. This year, there's a little more pressure, b...
FRANK SPURCHISE
Everyone's projecting onto you, or you feel like everyone is judging you. I feel like I'm be...
KATE MOSS
Get over yourselves with the coffee. You know, we all have it. It's like being famous for mustard or...
ANDY BOROWITZ
Who Moved My Soap? The CEO's Guide to Surviving Prison,
ANDY BOROWITZ
I am resigning effective immediately. Bo Derek will become the new vice president.
ANDY BOROWITZ
I think the reason that satire is on the rise is because the real news is so bad right now, ... I'd ...
ANDY BOROWITZ
I wanted to get away from big, expensive network projects, ... so I moved to New York and I did noth...
ANDY BOROWITZ
At the Pentagon, Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld said that the decision to pay recruits in gaso...
ANDY BOROWITZ
Army Offers to Pay Recruits in Gasoline.
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After Sept. 11, I didn't write a piece for a couple of days because I thought people wouldn't want m...
ANDY BOROWITZ
Britney is one of our great comedians. She has been hilarious,
ANDY BOROWITZ
This is a self-imposed imprisonment because she shuts herself away to write to try to make sense out...
DOUG CASKEY
Who you really are is Nonphysical Energy focused is a physical body, knowing full well that all is w...
ABRAHAM HICKS
There is a knowing already in place. I don't feel like this is foreign. It's more like completing so...
LAURA HIPKE
To be offended is a choice we make; it is not a condition inflicted or imposed upon us by someone or...
DAVID A. BEDNAR
I do feel like I'm in this lucky position where I can write something and people will read it, a...
DAVID LISS
All the pressure I ever had was self-imposed. I never had any pressure put on me to win. I felt that...
DARRELL ROYAL
We should always be realistic about our needs, steer clear of this over indulgence and self imposed ...
OSCAR AULIQ-ICE
As Andy says, being in this band in the early 1980s made you feel like you were part of a pizza. We ...
ROGER ANDREW TAYLOR
Hell had been his Vietnam. It had stamped its mark on him for all eternity, and no amount of denial ...
JOE SCHREIBER
I feel like it has gone very fast for me, but I feel like it wasn't instantaneous, at all. I was get...
ANTHONY DOERR
It's not an imposed idea at all. Not like the Washington Monument, an Egyptian idea. Not like the Je...
LAWRENCE HALPRIN
I feel like I was being tortured, like I had my soul taken away from me or something.
ERIN SORENSON
Cal, Archer, Jenna and I managed to achieve something truly impressive: the *four-way* glance.
RACHEL HAWKINS
Although I don't know Oslo at all, there is something about the feel or the smell of the place t...
ALEXANDER HANSON
I feel like getting married, or committing suicide, or subscribing to L'Illustration. Something desp...
ALBERT CAMUS
Well, I wouldn't say that this experience had any influence on my decision to do this film about...
MILOS FORMAN
To hide from one's self within the nobility that is called labor, is a form of self imposed slavery ...
TROY J. GAINEY
I feel like clout is something that builds up on your teeth.
ANDREW MASON
Enlightenment is man's emergence from his self-imposed nonage. Nonage is the inability to use one's ...
IMMANUEL KANT
We had (something) like that last year. We had Cal, Fullerton, Long Beach and Stanford. We should be...
LUKAS KIRBY
SELF-IMPOSED SLAVERY: When we invest our lives doing things that build someone else's dreams, but me...
TERENCE T. GORSKI
Cal Poly is my kind of school. So many universities I visit boast about boring alumni like pioneerin...
MILO YIANNOPOULOS
Prose is like this big block - you write big paragraphs. I feel that when I'm reading and writin...
BILL CALLAHAN
I contribute my full being to anything and anyone that may affect a society in which the masses unde...
MAURICE SPEES
I have this dream that secretly all teenage girls feel exactly like me. And maybe one day, when we a...
ZOE SUGG
I'll either play for Huggins or Andy Kennedy. When I came here, that's who I intended to play for. S...
ERIC HICKS
I know it probably sounds like we won a championship or something, but I feel good.
FRED TAYLOR
When I shoot at the range, I don't feel personally powerful but like the custodian of something ...
WALTER KIRN
I feel that this is a disaster waiting to happen. Putting something like this below the ground is a ...
SALLY REGENHARD
There is nothing like the "real" me or the "real" you because we are all more than this or that. We ...
JACINTA MPALYENKANA
I feel like it has gone very fast for me, but I feel like it wasn't instantaneous, at all. I was...
ANTHONY DOERR
Look, we're all saddled with things that make us better or worse. This world is a crazy place, a...
BARBARA KRUGER

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You can't go wrong with pizza, unless it's terrible pizza.
ANDY KINDLER
If I watch an episode of SNL, and there's one thing that I liked, then that's a good episode...
ANDY SAMBERG
Obviously, SNL has a lot of viewers, but the potential for a movie is through the roof.
ANDY SAMBERG
Well, basically, when you get SNL, everyone wants to take a meeting, just in case you end up being g...
ANDY SAMBERG
Class Day is a terrible name for a day when you don't have to go to any class.
ANDY SAMBERG
No matter how much it's growing, the Internet still is a pretty specific demographic. It doesn&#...
ANDY SAMBERG
It's weird to have people so interested in your personal life. It's a part of the business t...
ANDY SAMBERG
I'm a big Letterman fan.
ANDY SAMBERG
I've always felt that if something is polarizing, that's usually the stuff I like the most. ...
ANDY SAMBERG
I used to stay up at night and sneak into the TV room, past my parents, who were asleep, to watch Sa...
ANDY SAMBERG
A sign now of success with a certain audience when you do a short comedy piece, anywhere, is that it...
ANDY SAMBERG
If had a penny for every strange look I've gotten from strangers on the street I'd have abou...
ANDY SAMBERG
I'm a tearless clown. If I were to get a tattoo, it would be the two masks, and they would be bo...
ANDY SAMBERG
That is a strange phenomenon, people pretending to be other people.
ANDY SAMBERG
You are graduating from college. That means that this is the first day of the last day of your life....
ANDY SAMBERG
Isn't life a series of images that change as they repeat themselves?
ANDY WARHOL
What's great about this country is that America started the tradition where the richest consumer...
ANDY WARHOL
Great creativity is astonishingly, absurdly, rationally, irrationally powerful.
ANDY HOBSBAWM
When I started playing the bass, I became kind of fascinated by it and started investigating various...
ANDY ROURKE
Obviously Madison Memorial is the better team. And that's the bottom line.
ANDY POLKA
I was with all of the guys today, and we were all just talking about how excited we are. Everyone el...
ANDY POLKA
The third time is the best when you are a senior. But every year is different.
ANDY POLKA
(Randall) challenged us. We definitely came out soft. He didn't tell us to make any changes, he told...
ANDY POLKA
He was real nervous. I took off my jacket, put him on the ground and wrestled with him for about ten...
ANDY PIPHER
The way I'm looking at it at the moment and the impression that I'm getting from the people in Canad...
ANDY PICK
A chance, as a coach, to take a team to the World Cup finals is probably as high up the tree as it g...
ANDY PICK