Stewart Lee quote: "You get annoyed about things in real life, and then the tragic thing is that while you are moaning on the awful injustice and suffering of something, something grimly comic will then strike you about it, like a parasite feeding off the misery of the world."

I think what I do is borderline art. Most people who do borderline art have to have other jobs, so I...
STEWART LEE

I've now got a 35,000-word document of quotes from people who hate me, a lot from the 'Guard...
STEWART LEE

Nothing is too controversial, but you have to think about how to do it with sensitivity. I don't...
STEWART LEE

I grew up in Solihull, on the edge of what was then the Birmingham conurbation. It was a good place ...
STEWART LEE

The only reason I look back is to check if I've been doing something wrong. I look at things fro...
STEWART LEE

There's an assumption that my audience is all these bearded twats from Dalston. But actually, qu...
STEWART LEE

I read in the 'Daily Mail' that I'm one of these 'foul-mouthed comedians.' But I...
STEWART LEE

It's interesting to me that apparently distasteful comments from the Right against weak targets ...
STEWART LEE

For other comics, it's about full-spectrum dominance, being on panel shows and having one-liners...
STEWART LEE

In places like Glasgow and Newcastle, audiences have a tradition of being amusingly combative. But t...
STEWART LEE

I am not comparing myself to great artists, but when you see conceptual artists at work, on some lev...
STEWART LEE

I'm in this for the long haul, I want to be doing this until I die. I am a standup comedian. I k...
STEWART LEE

I don't mind causing offence when I intend to, but I don't like causing it accidentally.
STEWART LEE

I went to a hypnotist to learn how not to use drinking a pint before you go on as a way of giving yo...
STEWART LEE

What's happened is somewhere, along the line, as a society, we confused the notion of 'home' with th...
STEWART LEE

Did you slip in some cheese? Did it make you hate cheese, which you had previously loved? Why not su...
STEWART LEE

What has made our system stronger, safer and more reliable over the years is an aggressive pipeline ...
LEE STEWART

As founding sponsor of the Tomorrow's Leaders program and a partner with the communities we serve, w...
LEE STEWART

You must remember, family is often born of blood, but it doesn't depend on blood. Nor is it exclusiv...
TRENTON LEE STEWART

One problem with being a leader, is that even among your friends you are alone, for it is you -- and...
TRENTON LEE STEWART

Nicholas Benedict did have an exceptional gift for knowing things (more exceptional, in fact, than m...
TRENTON LEE STEWART

May your adventures bring you closer together, even as they take you far away from home.
TRENTON LEE STEWART

No sooner had he thought this than he realized what was anchoring his happiness. It was purpose. He ...
TRENTON LEE STEWART

For every exit, there is also an entrance.
TRENTON LEE STEWART

No one seems to realize how much we are driven by FEAR, the essential component of human personality...
TRENTON LEE STEWART

What is life without laughter?
TRENTON LEE STEWART

Remember the White Knight.
TRENTON LEE STEWART

Was it worse for him, Reynie wondered, to have felt loved and then rejected? Or was it worse to have...
TRENTON LEE STEWART

Reynie's fce fell. 'It's not funny, Kate.'
For a moment - a fleeting moment - Kate looked despe...
TRENTON LEE STEWART

Every great thinker keeps a journal, you know.
TRENTON LEE STEWART

Did the men steal the papers?" Reynie asked, fearing her response.
No, because they are fools,"...
TRENTON LEE STEWART

I think when I started to write 'The Mysterious Benedict Society' that I had that kind of th...
TRENTON LEE STEWART

Mr. Benedict: "After I woke up and composed myself, however, I realized the flowers must certainly b...
TRENTON LEE STEWART

I hope you haven't given up on the S.Q.'s of the world, Reynie. As you see, there are a great...
TRENTON LEE STEWART

The answer to this riddle has a hole in the middle,
And some have been known to fall in it.
TRENTON LEE STEWART

The power itself comes from the fact that you can do something and people can’t see you do it and ...
TRENTON LEE STEWART

I've only just arrived, Kate. It may surprise you to learn that you were my top priority.
TRENTON LEE STEWART

Children are capable of such open rudeness.
TRENTON LEE STEWART

The missing aren't missing, they're only departed,
All minds keep all thoughts - so like gold -...
TRENTON LEE STEWART

You are the smartest children i know. You just don't beleive it.
TRENTON LEE STEWART

Poor Kate,” said Constance, “she’s lost her marbles.
TRENTON LEE STEWART

Nicholas looked down at his battered shoes and said nothing. He did indeed wish to be contrary—at ...
TRENTON LEE STEWART

In the candle's flickering light, the library's thousands of books emerged from the shadows, and for...
TRENTON LEE STEWART

Whoever pays the consultant gets pretty much what they want to hear.
MATTHEW STEWART

In one year I travelled 450,000 miles by air.
JACKIE STEWART

I would have been a much more popular Wolrd Champion if I had always said what people wanted to hear...
JACKIE STEWART

When there is an accident involving fire, in most cases death is caused by the inhalation of the tox...
JACKIE STEWART

We have had more sales for this year's grand prix than any other, and we have been helped in tha...
JACKIE STEWART

From today I am no longer a racing driver. I'm retired and I am very happy.
JACKIE STEWART

I'm not going away. I'll still be very much involved in the team but not with the same numbe...
JACKIE STEWART

The years I raced in were fantastic. There was so much change in the cars. We went from treaded tyre...
JACKIE STEWART

Cornering is like bringing a woman to climax.
JACKIE STEWART

There has been a huge advance in technology, which has improved the safety of the cars incredibly, b...
JACKIE STEWART

We were racing at circuits where there were no crash barriers in front of the pits, and fuel was lyi...
JACKIE STEWART

There is no doubt that Formula 1 has the best risk management of any sport and any industry in the w...
JACKIE STEWART

It takes leadership to improve safety. And I started off the movement in my time, but the person who...
JACKIE STEWART

Each generation has its own rendezvous with the land, for despite our fee titles and claims of owner...
STEWART UDALL

More than 150 heads of state attended the UN Summit, giving New Yorkers a chance to get in touch wit...
JON STEWART

President Bush remained undeterred by the massive display of American opposition, even though much o...
JON STEWART

I don't care about wealth. What seems to be upsetting is institutionalizing the advantages that ...
JON STEWART

If you watch the news and don't like it, then this is your counter program to the news.
JON STEWART

Ahh, Earth Day, the only day of the year where being able to hacky-sack will get you laid.
JON STEWART

If your regime is not strong enough to handle a joke, then you don't have a regime.
JON STEWART

I'm too short to host a late-night talk show. It's like the bar at an amusement-park ride. Y...
JON STEWART

I'm not just a boy toy. I have feelings and dreams like anybody else.
JON STEWART

Liberal and conservative have lost their meaning in America. I represent the distracted center.
JON STEWART

McVeigh's lawyer got him the death penalty, which, quite frankly, I could have done.
JON STEWART

Many of our soldiers are stationed at Camp Coyote just south of the Iraqi border. This is how you kn...
JON STEWART

The Supreme Court ruled that disabled golfer Casey Martin has a legal right to ride in a golf cart b...
JON STEWART

Fatherhood is great because you can ruin someone from scratch.
JON STEWART

Insomnia is my greatest inspiration.
JON STEWART

The Internet is just a world passing around notes in a classroom.
JON STEWART

We have it. The smoking gun. The evidence. The potential weapon of mass destruction we have been loo...
JON STEWART

I want to look back on my career and be proud of the work, and be proud that I tried everything.
JON STEWART

You just have to keep trying to do good work, and hope that it leads to more good work. I want to lo...
JON STEWART

If you don't stick to your values when they're being tested, they're not values: they...
JON STEWART

I think, with suits and clothes, if you keep them long enough, they all come back in fashion.
ROD STEWART

As time went on, I did campaign to lighten the character a little bit, to introduce some romance int...
PATRICK STEWART

William Shatner has one style. We have completely contrasting personalities. We're very good fri...
PATRICK STEWART

We had some very distinguished fans: I know one chancellor of a major university who used to schedul...
PATRICK STEWART

Wouldn't it be grand if we thought that theater could have that impact on the political life of ...
PATRICK STEWART

I never had teenage years. I guess because I was seen to be more adult than anybody around me.
PATRICK STEWART

I've met actors where you think, if only you could just clean up your act and get it together, p...
PATRICK STEWART

As the captain, I was going to be having the dominant role in most of the episodes, and that was app...
PATRICK STEWART

It still frightens me a little bit to think that so much of my life was totally devoted to Star Trek...
PATRICK STEWART

I was brought up in a very poor and very violent household. I spent much of my childhood being afrai...
PATRICK STEWART

I had come to the point when I realized it was unlikely that my film career was going to move beyond...
PATRICK STEWART

I've often reflected on this in the past weeks as I've been following the presidential campa...
PATRICK STEWART

During my time we had two chairman of the joint chiefs of staff, at different times of course, on th...
PATRICK STEWART

Encouraging people to believe in it was the most important thing of all. It's one of the reasons...
PATRICK STEWART

Whenever the lion fish in the fish tank in the captain's ready room died it was always a sad mom...
PATRICK STEWART

I don't do impersonations. I can do a wounded elephant! I can do a really good cow! And because ...
PATRICK STEWART

The truth of the matter is, all of those guys on Star Trek: The Next Generation actually want to be ...
PATRICK STEWART

I wasn't campaigning for a role in a Hollywood television series, it was a fluke. So you've ...
PATRICK STEWART

I would like to see us get this place right first before we have the arrogance to put significantly ...
PATRICK STEWART

I wouldn't know a space-time continuum or warp core breach if they got into bed with me.
PATRICK STEWART

The only still center of my life is Macbeth. To go back to doing this bloody, crazed, insane mass-mu...
PATRICK STEWART

It is what you do from now on that will either move our civilization forward a few tiny steps, or el...
PATRICK STEWART

One day, out of irritation, I said, you know all of those years with the Royal Shakespeare Company, ...
PATRICK STEWART

My big brother still thinks he's a better singer than me.
ROD STEWART

Last Wednesday, I stupidly dropped my iPhone in the bath, and my life has sort of spiraled almost ou...
PATRICK STEWART

If, in our haste to 'progress,' the economics of ecology are disregarded by citizens and pol...
STEWART UDALL

I don't think people expect Bruce Springsteen to come out in a pink satin jacket, but Rod Stewar...
ROD STEWART

This is what you call a tie. We have one yes, one no.
AINSLEY STEWART

He put us in a bad spot.
AINSLEY STEWART

It's a routine thing they do to break you. It chills free speech. Your hands are tied now.
AINSLEY STEWART

I would not advocate going back on strike.
AINSLEY STEWART

Members beat him up from all sides, left, right and center. I've never seen anything like it. By the...
AINSLEY STEWART

I went over before the British Open and played Valderrama thinking that I might make the team, might...
PAYNE STEWART

For the first five years of my life, I grew up in a log cabin in coastal British Columbia in a very ...
STEWART BUTTERFIELD

I was born in a little town called Lund in British Columbia. It's like a fishing village. My par...
STEWART BUTTERFIELD

Likewise, with solar, especially here in California, we're discovering that the 80 solar farm sc...
STEWART BRAND

I am not a rock star or a movie star; I'm a businessperson. I definitely know who my friends are...
MARTHA STEWART

We all get so caught up in the moment of what we're doing every day, it's hard to hit that r...
TONY STEWART

Everyone seems to have this awareness of Charlie Chaplin because he was a really good businessman wh...
FRENCH STEWART

You've got to have this burning desire in your chest to succeed.
ROD STEWART

We mislead ourselves when we pretend we can make someone into an effective manager by putting them t...
MATTHEW STEWART

This is the most important case I have ever tried.
AL STEWART

You reach out your hand, but you're all alone, in those time passages.
AL STEWART

Whoever you pretend to be, you must face yourself eventually.
AL STEWART

Look to the past and remember no empire rises that sooner or later won't fall.
AL STEWART

She comes out of the sun in a silk dress, running like a water color in the rain.
AL STEWART

She doesn't give you time for questions as she locks up your arms in hers. And you follow till your ...
AL STEWART

Nothing that's forced can ever be right, if it doesn't come naturally, leave it.
AL STEWART

We measure our days out in steps of uncertainty not turning to see how far we've come. And peer down...
AL STEWART

Jimi Hendrix played loud and free, Sergeant Pepper was real to me.
AL STEWART

I'm like, bursting. I should be working. I don't want to take a break. It's funny, on se...
KRISTEN STEWART

Nuclear energy people perceive the greenhouse effect as a fresh wind blowing at their back.
STEWART UDALL

The best way of forgetting how you think you feel is to concentrate on what you know you know.
MARY STEWART

I wish I knew what I know now before.
ROD STEWART

When fantasy turns you on, you're obligated to God and nature to start doing it right away.
STEWART BRAND

We have, I fear, confused power with greatness.
STEWART UDALL

The mills of God work like lightning compared with the law.
MARY STEWART

It's funny. When we were alive we spent much of our time staring up at the cosmos and wondering what...
JON STEWART

I was never a good-looking bloke. Not by a long chalk.
ROD STEWART

Bloggers create kind of a popularity. But they are not the experts, and we have to understand that.
MARTHA STEWART

Yes, the long war on Christianity. I pray that one day we may live in an America where Christians ca...
JON STEWART

The internet is just a world passing notes around a classroom.
JON STEWART

There are 10 kinds of people in the world: those who understand binary numerals, and those who don't...
IAN STEWART

Never treat your audience as customers, always as partners.
JIMMY STEWART

If the events of September 11, 2001, have proven anything, it's that the terrorists can attack us, b...
JON STEWART

I've been to Canada, and I've always gotten the impression that I could take the country over in abo...
JON STEWART

You can tempt me, desert me, or cause me great pain; you can create a dark world that my cause me to...
CHRIS STEWART

There are few men more superstitious than soldiers. They are, after all, the men who live closest to...
MARY STEWART

It is harder to kill a whisper than even a shouted calumny.
MARY STEWART

Once a new technology rolls over you, if you're not part of the steamroller, you're part of the road...
STEWART BRAND

When a fantasy turns you on, you're obligated to God and nature to start doing it right away.
STEWART BRAND

If I had my career over again? Maybe I'd say to myself, speed it up a little.
JIMMY STEWART

Remember you are just an extra in everyone else's play.
STEWART EMERY

You can't put equipment on your gravestone. * Ian Stewart's father about the risks he was taking.
MR STEWART

Just every moment with Dick Cheney has been my favorite. Here's what I wonder about Dick Cheney, and...
JON STEWART

Historic in a good sense, not historic in a sense of 'so we dropped bombs on everyone.'
JON STEWART

Why can't they have gay people in the army? Personally, I think they are just afraid of a thousand g...
JON STEWART

We don't consider ourselves equal opportunity anythings, because that's not - you know, that's the b...
JON STEWART

For me it was just exciting to see fake news catching on like that. We don't… you know, it's inter...
JON STEWART

But we are at war, and we here at THE DAILY SHOW will do our best to keep you informed of any late-b...
JON STEWART

Yes! Finally captured Martha Stewart. You know, with all the massive and almost completely unpunishe...
JON STEWART

When a fantasy turns you on, you're obligated to God and nature to start doing it right away.
STEWART BRAND

When a fantasy turns you on, you're obligated to God and nature to start doing it - right away
STEWART BRAND

GOP strategists hope the revelation of Kerry's wealth might debunk his status as a, quote, man of th...
JON STEWART

Abortion is inherently different from other medical procedures because no other procedure involves t...
POTTER STEWART

Censorship reflects a society's lack of confidence in itself.
POTTER STEWART

Censorship reflects a society's lack of confidence in itself. It is a hallmark of an authoritarian r...
POTTER STEWART

You have to remember one thing about the will of the people: it wasn't that long ago that we were sw...
JON STEWART

Having played many roles of scientific intellect I do have an empathy for that world. It's been ...
PATRICK STEWART

I never feel any aggravation from the public.
ROD STEWART

I support Alice Waters in her desire that there be a vegetable garden at the White House. I don'...
MARTHA STEWART

If a relationship is going wrong, if a marriage is going wrong, the answer cannot simply be to say, ...
RORY STEWART

Here's the point - you're looking at affirmative action, and you're looking at marijuana...
JON STEWART

Cherish sunsets, wild creatures and wild places. Have a love affair with the wonder and beauty of th...
STEWART UDALL

I love cities. New York, Montreal, London, Amsterdam, Tokyo, Hong Kong, Singapore, Sydney, Melbourne...
STEWART BUTTERFIELD

Like ministers of information, consultants condense the message, smooth out the dissonances, unify t...
MATTHEW STEWART

Yes, I'm a patriotic person. For these people who disgrace the American way and burn our flag an...
PAYNE STEWART

The evening sings in a voice of amber, the dawn is surely coming.
AL STEWART

I have a microphone on one ankle and an ankle bracelet on the other, so I'm well balanced today.
MARTHA STEWART

People are disappointed when they hear my American accent because they regard 'The Police' a...
STEWART COPELAND

In New York, I get a tremendous amount of ideas by looking at the paintings and the sculptures, adap...
MARTHA STEWART

In my life, there have been people that I was convinced would be around forever, and yet, somehow th...
ALANA STEWART

The more storage you have, the more stuff you accumulate.
ALEXIS STEWART

Over the long haul of life on this planet, it is the ecologists, and not the bookkeepers of business...
STEWART UDALL

I never stop making sure that what I say is the best of what could be said about a particular thing....
MARTHA STEWART

I'm thrilled to be asked to host the Academy Awards for the second time because, as they say, th...
JON STEWART

I have planted over 6,000 trees at home in Scotland, some of them oak. I'd like my children to b...
RORY STEWART

About 80 percent of the photos on Flickr are public and searchable by everyone. In one sense, it'...
STEWART BUTTERFIELD

I am quite shy and people think I'm aloof.
KRISTEN STEWART

Censorship reflects a society's lack of confidence in itself.
POTTER STEWART

Ethics is knowing the difference between what you have a right to do and what is right to do.
POTTER STEWART

To force a lawyer on a defendant can only lead him to believe that the law contrives against him.
POTTER STEWART

In fact, a fundamental interdependence exists between the personal right to liberty and the personal...
POTTER STEWART

Swift justice demands more than just swiftness.
POTTER STEWART

A person's mere propinquity to others independently suspected of criminal activity does not give...
POTTER STEWART

It must always be remembered that what the Constitution forbids is not all searches and seizures, bu...
POTTER STEWART

The dichotomy between personal liberties and property rights is a false one. Property does not have ...
POTTER STEWART

The 4th Amendment and the personal rights it secures have a long history. At the very core stands th...
POTTER STEWART

I shall not today attempt further to define the kinds of material but I know it when I see it.
POTTER STEWART

Fairness is what justice really is.
POTTER STEWART

Why is it that if you take advantage of a corporate tax break you're a smart businessman, but if...
JON STEWART

I think romance is anything honest. As long as it's honest, it's so disarming.
KRISTEN STEWART

Growing up in the '60s and early '70s, with the space flight and the Apollo program, I alway...
STEWART O'NAN

Wherever I was in the world, at the beginning of every consulting project, one thing was certain: I ...
MATTHEW STEWART

You get annoyed about things in real life, and then the tragic thing is that while you are moaning on the awful injustice and suffering of something, something grimly comic will then strike you about it, like a parasite feeding off the misery of the world.

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Stewart Lee

You get annoyed about things in real life, and then the tragic thing is that while you are moaning on the awful injustice and suffering of something, something grimly comic will then strike you about it, like a parasite feeding off the misery of the world.

Stewart Lee

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