Remember how, back in 1990, if you used a cellphone in public you looked like a total asshole? We're all assholes now.


Douglas Coupland

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WHAT'S WRONG WITH ASSHOLES, BABY? YOU'VE GOT AN ASSHOLE, I'VE GOT AN ASSHOLE! YOU GO TO THE STORE AN...
CHARLES BUKOWSKI
The story goes as the line follow... alone... loony....
...

That's what's happening....
DEYTH BANGER
I believe all people are assholes. You won't find anyone that you like. You'll just find someone you...
TRAVIS J. DAHNKE
Six silent people in a room got me to thinking about the voice we hear in our heads when we read, th...
DOUGLAS COUPLAND
I'm looking forward to not competing. Pride takes over after a while. You remember how you used to p...
KATHY WHITWORTH
Tom Hiddleston is so fucking nice. It used to be in the past you were either nice, or you were good-...
GUILLERMO DEL TORO
Imagine life as a game, a game that is filled with obstacles and hazards to overcome but sometimes y...
GARY F EVANS...
One's ideas must be as broad as Nature if they are to interpret Nature
ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE
In twenty years you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how m...
MARY SCHMICH
You can't go back to how things were. How you thought they were. All you really have is...now.
JAY ASHER
In twenty years you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp n...
MARY SCHMICH
I know that asshole you were with in college --”
“Can we leave that asshole out of it?” JOSH LANYON
I am used to looking good. In a way, if I thought I looked like the back end of a bus, I probably wo...
FELICITY KENDAL
How do you deal with bullies and assholes if you can't get them into trouble?
JOHN GREEN
Many BrainPal users find it useful to give their BrainPal a name other than BrainPal. Would you like...
JOHN SCALZI
I remember back when you were here with me How you've made my world complete But now I'm left alone
DAZZLїиG_Бципу
We each have a special something we can get only at a special time of our life. like a small flame. ...
HARUKI MURAKAMI
Allie, what do the Stars tell me to do? You know I don't understand the scientific part.
ROBERT A. HEINLEIN
The capacity of humans to believe in what seems to me highly improbable- from table tapping to the s...
ROBERT A. HEINLEIN
It is strange being in a crowd where no one knows your face or cares for your purpose. In Lykos, I w...
PIERCE BROWN
Body, remember not only how much you were loved Not only the beds you lay on, But also those desires...
CONSTANTINE PETER CAVAFY
How you greet your morning is like a boomerang. It always comes back to you. Remember this.
STAN JACOBS
What Douglas had once seen as the attractive over-confidence of youth, now looked more like unyieldi...
LEN DEIGHTON
Long-time viewing of Internet violence tend to change a person's temperament, making the person pron...
YOU QUANXI
If positive and healthy materials are absent, negative materials are sure to be dominant in the cybe...
YOU QUANXI
In a robust global business environment, our business units operated well in the first quarter. More...
HARRY YOU
The Board of Directors and I are pleased to recognize Peter's outstanding contribution to the succes...
HARRY YOU
We are pleased to close the books on 2004 following the painstaking review of almost five years of f...
HARRY YOU
You used to have to own a radio tower or television tower or printing press. Now all you have to hav...
CLAY SHIRKY
Now get the fuck up off the ground so I can put you in it... like a coffin. Because you'll be fuckin...
ROBERT KIRKMAN
I had a dream about you. You looked like you, but you also looked like a mannequin. And I looked lik...
DARK JAR TIN ZOO
If you were a South Asian girl, you would have thought you didn't exist in this country if you looke...
ATOOSA RUBENSTEIN
You were my tempest, my thunder cloud, my tree in the downpour. I loved all those things, and I love...
PENELOPE DOUGLAS
It used to be you never took a tight end in the first round. But they're looked at as athletes now. ...
JERRY ANGELO
I was in love when I was in college; we all were. I remember how beautiful everybody was. Even the p...
JACK O'BRIEN
If you weren't religious, you would still be as much of an asshole as you already are now.
JEFFREY FISCHER
If we all took a minute to reflect upon the wrong we do we would be quite surprised or shocked.Inste...
GARY F EVANS...
I don't know if they're really like everybody else, or if they're able to pretend they are.
MADELEINE L'ENGLE
Even Lot might have been mistaken. But that’s what he promised ‘em – his virgin daughters, you...
ROBERT A. HEINLEIN
God is the strength in which I trust." Lesson 47, A Course In Miracles
HELEN SCHUCMAN
You're full of contradictions, Ms. Wallace."
I looked up at him and arched a brow. "I'm a girl...
TAMMARA WEBBER
There isn't an hour of my life without you in it. I mend the boats, test them and all the while the ...
NICHOLAS SPARKS
You always remember the words that come back to bite you in the ass, no matter how much you'd like t...
ROB THURMAN
The only way he could have her was to shatter this stubborn faith of hers. In doing so, would he sha...
FRANCINE RIVERS
And people get all fouled up because they want the world to have meaning as if it were words... As i...
ALAN W. WATTS
Being clever was when you looked at how things were and used the evidence to work out something new.
MARK HADDON
Now a 'funnyman' can get a laugh before opening his mouth - looking funny. Lou Costello was ...
MILTON BERLE
Nasty. It looks just like a fastball, then it's in on you. He looked outstanding. He looked scary, e...
CESAR IZTURIS
We danced. Remember? I was so proud to have you there, in my arms,in front of other people. Even if ...
KIERA CASS
McAllister looked up into her face, his eyes blazing with anger. At last, his composure cracked.
NIGEL HOLLOWAY
Back in the day, if you did any commercials or were affiliated with a company you were a sellout. No...
JORDAN KNIGHT
Ok. You fuck me, then snub me. You love me, you hate me. You show me a sensitive side, then you turn...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
To know wisdom is to be all knowledgeable ,to use that knowledge for the greater good is to no that ...
GARY F EVANS...
If I provide for this life and turn away from the Lord, I am wise for a moment, but lost forever.
FRANCINE RIVERS
The only way he could have her was to shatter this stubborn faith of hers. In doing so, would he sha...
FRANCINE RIVERS
It's pretty stressful. I think last year we were even in a tighter spot. It was even tougher back th...
RAY EVERNHAM
What do I look for in a friend?
You!
ANTHONY T.HINCKS
He looked at you like you were the brightest planet in the galaxy.
E. LOCKHART
You come in with a lot of anxiety about whether or not you remember (how to manage), but it is like ...
BUCK MARTINEZ
Of course I remember you." My voice is a strangled whisper. I squeeze my eyes shut. "You were the on...
TAHEREH MAFI
Remember as you travel through life, no matter how far you go... You still have to travel back once ...
KJFORCE
In my grammar school years back in the 1920s I used my ten-cents-a-week allowance for Saturday matin...
BEVERLY CLEARY
My wife made me get a cellphone, which I keep in my briefcase. I've never used it.
ALAN C. GREENBERG
You might as well be nice to everyone, because in the end if something happens to someone your mean/...
RACHEL W
I think that when you remember, remember, remember everything like that, you could go on until you r...
LEO TOLSTOY
Back in 1990, we created a new category of robot controller.
FRED MARTIN
Now, perfectly ordinary people will give each other hugs. I mean, it used to be that a hug was reser...
MELVYN BRAGG
That was not like riding a bike, you asshole!
ALEXANDRA BRACKEN
I remember back from one game and they said he looked like a major leaguer.
BOB MILACKI
Come on back and we’ll see if you remember the simplest thing of all – how it is to be children,...
STEPHEN KING
His study was a total mess, like the results of an explosion in a public library.
DOUGLAS ADAMS
Slartibartfast's study was a total mess, like the results of an explosion in a public library.
DOUGLAS ADAMS
This instant is the only time there is.
A COURSE IN MIRACLES
I am never upset for the reason I think.
A COURSE IN MIRACLES
Perception is a mirror not a fact. And what I look on is my state of mind, reflected outward.
A COURSE IN MIRACLES
Teach only love for that is what you are.
A COURSE IN MIRACLES
Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing unreal exists. Herein lies the peace of God.
A COURSE IN MIRACLES
Only my condemnation injures me.
A COURSE IN MIRACLES
I can elect to change all thoughts that hurt.
A COURSE IN MIRACLES
Seek not to change the world, but choose to change your mind about the world.
A COURSE IN MIRACLES
Only your mind can produce fear.
A COURSE IN MIRACLES
You just get used to it over time is all I can say. It used to be like a slap in the face. Now I can...
HEATHER WEBB
All the transactions were made in accordance to the Public Construction Committee's regulations. If ...
PASUYA YAO
I'm about to make a wild, extreme and severe relationship rule: the word busy is a load of crap and ...
GREG BEHRENDT
Nothing that is good can become stuck – and if it is stuck, it can’t be any good!
SILVIA HARTMANN
Needle in a haystack's easy - just bring a magnet."

Eliot stared witheringly at Hardison....
KEITH R.A. DECANDIDO
These philosophically fun ideas usually satisfy nobody. Nonetheless, they remind us that ignorance i...
NEIL DEGRASSE TYSON
This is the spot where I will lie
When life has had enough of me,
These are the grasses ...
SARA TEASDALE
I've got no other home to go to, not anymore. When I look at England now I see a dead place, Rupert....
LEV GROSSMAN
Once in a while you get shown the light in the strangest of places, if you look at it right.
GRATEFUL DEAD
The world pays no attention to those who have nothing to offer
BERNARD KELVIN CLIVE
Tea followers were among the earliest converts to the Christian faith. Takayama Ukon, a daimyo turne...
F. CALVIN PARKER
I don't have any great love for Chicago. What the hell, a childhood around Douglas Park isn't very m...
BENNY GOODMAN
There can be no rebirth without a dark night of the soul, a total annihilation of all that you belie...
HAZRAT INAYAT KHAN
How could you have a soccer team if all were goalkeepers? How would it be an orchestra if all were F...
DESMOND TUTU
Minho looked at Thomas, a serious expression on his face. "If I don't see you on the other side," he...
JAMES DASHNER
It's been hectic. It's different. I used to kinda get looked at. Now, it's more of, like, a stare. I...
PAULA CREAMER
It's so easy to get used to playing a role. Then all of the sudden when you're tossed out of...
A. J. COOK
You're going to run into jerk-offs, but remember: It's not the size of the asshole you worry about, ...
JUSTIN HALPERN
Remember me with smiles and laughter, for that is how I will remember you all. If you can only remem...
LAURA INGALLS WILDER

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When the world throws you too much information, the only way you can stay sane or survive is to look...
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Handmade presents are scary because they reveal that you have too much free time.
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The time you feel lonely is the time you most need to be by yourself.
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We want our idols to be dead because it makes death a much less scary place.
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The real killers in the business world aren't the ones who aim for the top, it's the ones wh...
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A vast percentage of the human race is literally not wired neurologically to get irony. Well more th...
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There's nothing cure or funny or lovable about being cheap. It's a total turn-off.
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Too much free time is certainly a monkey's paw in disguise. Most people can't handle a struc...
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When you crop the photo, you tell a lie.
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If a building looks better under construction than it does when finished, then it's a failure.
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Clowns drink to blot out the ravages of terrifying children for a living.
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If you have an impulse to kindness, act on it.
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Try not thinking of peeling an orange. Try not imagining the juice running down your fingers, the so...
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Making eye contact with adults while dressed as a clown is risky.
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There's much to be said for feeling numb. Time passes more quickly. You eat less, and because nu...
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I have trouble with seafood because it tastes like a dock.
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Long lives aren't natural. We forget that senior citizens are as much an invention as toasters o...
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When Donald Duck traded his wings for arms, was he trading up or trading down?
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Storytelling is ultimately a creative act of pattern recognition. Through characters, plot and setti...
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A ring is a halo on your finger.
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Flying dreams mean that you're doing the right thing with your life.
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Cloning is great. If God made the original, then making copies should be fine.
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Adventure without risk is Disneyland.
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If human beings had genuine courage, they'd wear their costumes every day of the year, not just ...
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I think as a species we're not designed to be able to think more than one year into the future -...
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Salad bars are like a restaurant's lungs. They soak up the impurities and bacteria in the enviro...
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I think that in the future, clocks won't say three o'clock anymore. They'll just get rig...
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With Google I'm starting to burn out on knowing the answer to everything. People in the year 202...
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Workshops and seminars are basically financial speed dating for clueless people.
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I connect fashion to other peoples' elegance, but not my own. I don't think I've ever fe...
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Birds are a miracle because they prove to us there is a finer, simpler state of being which we may s...
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I grew up in airports and on air bases. I know what flying and airports can be. And most airports ma...
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Big companies are like marching bands. Even if half the band is playing random notes, it still sound...
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I was always the youngest person in class, skinny, scrawny, no good at sports. I asserted myself by ...
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It's difficult to speak with beautiful people. No matter how hard you try to pretend otherwise, ...
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We are all of us born with a letter inside us, and that only if we are true to ourselves, may we be ...
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Make your goals big and broad enough so that they never become answered prayers and boomerang to cur...
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In a faraway land called 'pre-2000,' what Earthlings now call blogging was called 'keepi...
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One of the cruelest things you can do to another person is pretend you care about them more than you...
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If I think too much about all of those Chinese factories where all the stuff in a Wal-Mart is made, ...
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In periods of rapid personal change, we pass through life as though we are spellcast. We speak in se...
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I find it hard to believe that human beings are the crowning achievement of life on earth. Something...
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In Canada, we're happy to provide a safe haven for next-door neighbors in the middle of a marita...
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I think social and moral disengagement is repugnant.
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When I look at my daily schedule, I feel like a trout flopping about on a dock, drowning in the air....
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Aliens didn't come down to Earth and give us technology. We invented it ourselves. Therefore it ...
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In the future, IKEA will become an ever more spiritual sanctuary. In the future, your dream life wil...
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Human beings are the only animal that thinks they change who they are simply by moving to a differen...
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When you're young, you always feel that life hasn't yet begun—that "life" is always scheduled to b...
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I'm suspicious of places that look decorated. I can understand why people do it, but you see too...
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Most of us have only two or three genuinely interesting moments in our lives; the rest is filler.
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To have a healthy culture, you have to have stable health care financing and stable arts financing a...
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I've had maybe 20 jobs, big and small, and I've never hated any of them. At the same time, t...
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The whole point of Gen X was, and continues to be, a negation of being forced into Baby Boomerdom ag...
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North America can easily fragment quickly as did the Eastern Bloc in 1989.
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I had a lot of really terrible advice early in my writing career, and I cheesed off people without e...
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Everyone has a gripping stranger in their lives, Andy, a stranger who unwittingly possesses a bizarr...
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I've always felt like an alien trapped in a human form. We all do at some time or other; for me ...
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I will say that my days are spent solitary and somewhat lost in thought, and every single time I ina...
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I don't deserve a soul, yet I still have one. I know because it hurts.
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Her hair was totally Indian Woolworth perfume clerk. You know - sweet but dumb - she'll marry her wa...
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You pretend to be more eccentric than you actually are because you fear you are an interchangeable c...
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Could the situation be that we no longer believe in that particular place? Or maybe we were all prom...
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We went from being boring little Canada to a sexy country of sin overnight? We are not used to being...
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Your fear of change is too clearly visible in your eyes
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You pretend to be more eccentric than you actually are because you fear you are an interchangeable c...
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Tell me you feel this fire
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We decided that the French could never write user-friendly software because they're so rude.
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If money is not maintained, it can collapse like a bridge along Interstate 5 and fixing it, even wit...
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There's a lot to be said for having a small manageable dream.
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If you're not a tree hugger, then you're a what, a tree hater?
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Good-looking people with strong, fluoridated teeth get things handed to them on platters.
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Trevor realized that the odd thing about English is that no matter how much you screw sequences word...
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Tofu hot dogs are actually scarier than real hot dogs. It's like wanting the worst possible meat...
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A bland smile is like a green light at an intersection, it feels good when you get one, but you forg...
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...most guys have about 73 calories of shopping energy, and once these calories are gone, they're go...
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You wait for fate to bring about the changes in life which you should be bringing about by yourself
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Eagles are seagulls with a good hairdo.
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The ideal is that someone comes in here and they can't make a direct attribution to any one person. ...
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You keep waiting for the moral of your life to become obvious, but it never does. Work, work, work: ...
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We really ought to give ourselves a collective pat on the back for doing as well as we have in a uni...
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People don't have dominion over Nature. it's gone beyond that. Human beings and the world are now th...
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By the age of twenty, you know you're not going to be a rock star. By twenty-five, you know you're n...
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My mind then wandered. I thought of this: I thought of how every day each of us experiences a few li...
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Your brain forms roughly 10,000 new cells every day, but unless they hook up to preexisting cells wi...
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I'd sooner have died than admit that the most valuable thing I owned was a fairly extensive collecti...
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I think that to acknowledge a new generation is to acknowledge some degree of obsolescence in yourse...
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believe that you've had most of your important memories by the time you're thirty. After that, memor...
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...we're told by TV and Reader's Digest that a crisis will trigger massive personal change--and that...
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There used to be a tradition of the loveable rogue who would steal from the honour boxes in churches...
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I've always thought that you live in the present, you live in a specific present. You are writin...
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With 'Worst. Person. Ever.' I knew where it started and where it had to end, but I threw Ray...
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The modern economy isn't about the redistribution of wealth, it's about the redistribution o...
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Quick. Name ten dead redheads.
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The things worth writing about, and the things worth reading about, are the things that feel almost ...
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I'm a visual thinker. Research tells us that only 20 per cent of people think visually. So what ...
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The reason the future feels odd is because of its unpredictability. If the future didn't feel we...
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I don't think anyone ever gets over anything in life; they merely get used to it.
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Remember travel agents? Remember how they just kind of vanished one day? Well, that's where all ...
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We decided that the French could never write user-friendly software because they're so rude.
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As you grow older, it becomes harder to feel 100 percent happy; you learn all the things that can go...
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And in his heart, I think, he's now learned what I came to believe, which is, as I've said all along...
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Eroticize intelligence.
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In the future, torture will once again become the recreational sport of the rich.
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Books turn people into isolated individuals, and once that's happened, the road only grows rockier. ...
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Everyone should have a tailor. David Wilkes, the guy who does my stuff, is like, 'Well you'r...
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I don't like telephones: I don't like when they ring. Just because it rings, you have to pic...
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I like being surrounded by good ideas. Every single time you walk past something you like, you get a...
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Every single moment is a coincidence.
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«…you’re too old not to have had, how shall I say, certain experiences. You’ve had bad intern...
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'Stupidity' defines the mental state wherein we acknowledge that we've never been smarte...
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Every human being you see in the course of a day has a problem that's sucking up at least 70 per...
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The neighborhood I grew up in had this fence that surrounds the watershed. And if you go on the othe...
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I don't think I see the world in terms of stupid or clever, but in terms of being able to get ir...
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You see, when you're middle class, you have to live with the fact that history will ignore you. You ...
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Star Trek characters never go shopping.
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New York is a theme park for people with IQs over 108.
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Lottery tickets are a surtax on desperation.
DOUGLAS COUPLAND
If you don't have a spiritual practice in place when times are good, you can't expect to sud...
DOUGLAS COUPLAND
You're right, a spleen is a strange thing-we technically don't need one, but maybe spleens are kept ...
DOUGLAS COUPLAND
Or maybe memories are like karaoke - where you realize up on the stage, with all those lyrics scrawl...
DOUGLAS COUPLAND
I'm an adult. Discipline me and I'll bury you alive. - Roger
DOUGLAS COUPLAND
Here are some passing thoughts. Imagine looking up at the moon and seeing it burning.
Imagine ...
DOUGLAS COUPLAND
The modern world is devoted to vanishing species, vanishing weather and vanishing capacity for wonde...
DOUGLAS COUPLAND
Do you remember how you felt at seventeen? I do and I don't (...) Imagine you came from outer space ...
DOUGLAS COUPLAND
Life always kills you in the end, but first it prevents you from getting what you want.
DOUGLAS COUPLAND
What else? I also believe that if someone comes up behind you on the freeway and flashes their light...
DOUGLAS COUPLAND
A few years ago it dawned on me that everybody past a certain age - regardless of how they look on t...
DOUGLAS COUPLAND
If you don't change, then what's the point of anything happening to you? It'll still be happening to...
DOUGLAS COUPLAND
Dreams don't come true. Dreams die. Dreams get compromised. Dreams end up dealing meth in a booth at...
DOUGLAS COUPLAND
maybe memories are like karaoke-where you realize up on the stage, with all those lyrics scrawling a...
DOUGLAS COUPLAND
Actually, it's not the impertinence I'm punishing him for, it's that he let other people know what h...
DOUGLAS COUPLAND
It’s amazing how you can be a total shithead, and yet your soul still wants to hang out with you.
DOUGLAS COUPLAND
the universe is indeed a beautiful place. If you doubt me, go check for yourself.
DOUGLAS COUPLAND
I don't understand the human heart. Only pain makes it grow stronger. Only sorrow makes it kind. Con...
DOUGLAS COUPLAND
I think this is an alarming trend, Bethany, this whole 'passionate' thing. I'm guessing it started a...
DOUGLAS COUPLAND
How did society ever function without you, little Sharpies? Your nibs have the precise amount of giv...
DOUGLAS COUPLAND
I used the phrase 'a certain age.' What I mean by this is the age people are in their heads. It's us...
DOUGLAS COUPLAND
Maybe memories are like karaoke - where you realize up on the stage, with all those lyrics scrawling...
DOUGLAS COUPLAND
Sometimes I think the people to feel the saddest for are people who are unable to connect with the p...
DOUGLAS COUPLAND
Time, Baby - so much, so much time left until the end of my life - sometimes I go crazy at how slowl...
DOUGLAS COUPLAND
For there was once a time when we expected the worst. But then the worst happened, did it not? And s...
DOUGLAS COUPLAND
And I think back over my own life and I realize that my own nature-the core me-essentially hasn’t ...
DOUGLAS COUPLAND
You like all animals at that moment, although no doubt you will one day choose your favorites. Your ...
DOUGLAS COUPLAND
Society indeed conspires to keep you ball and chained.
DOUGLAS COUPLAND
Yet how often is it that we are rescued by a stranger, if ever at all? And how is it that our lives ...
DOUGLAS COUPLAND
Time ticks by; we grow older. Before we know it, too much time has passed and we've missed the chanc...
DOUGLAS COUPLAND
Life was charmed but without politics or religion. It was the life of children of the children of th...
DOUGLAS COUPLAND
I thought it would be such a sick joke to have to remain to be alive for decades and not believe in ...
DOUGLAS COUPLAND
I am a quiet man. I tend to think things through and try not to say too much. But here I am, saying ...
DOUGLAS COUPLAND
I have always liked the idea of Superman because I have always liked the idea that there is one pers...
DOUGLAS COUPLAND
Maybe the more emotions a person experiences in their daily lives, the longer time seems to feel to ...
DOUGLAS COUPLAND
And then sometimes I think the people to feel saddest for are people who once knew what profoundness...
DOUGLAS COUPLAND
Time, Baby - so much, so much time left until the end of my life - sometimes I go crazy at how slowl...
DOUGLAS COUPLAND
Our conversations are never easy, but as I-we-get older, we are finding that our conversations must ...
DOUGLAS COUPLAND
Beyond a certain age, sincerity ceases to feel pornographic.
DOUGLAS COUPLAND
I would like to fall in love again but my only hope is that love doesn't happen to me so often after...
DOUGLAS COUPLAND
She says to me, but were we ever intimate? How intimate were we really? Sure, there were the ordinar...
DOUGLAS COUPLAND
I thought about how odd it is for billions of people to be alive, yet not one of them is really quit...
DOUGLAS COUPLAND
I think it takes an amazing amount of energy to convince oneself that the Forever Person isn't just ...
DOUGLAS COUPLAND
Compromise is said to be the way of the world and yet I find myself feeling sick trying to accept wh...
DOUGLAS COUPLAND
We are changed souls; we don't look at things the same way anymore. For there was a time when we exp...
DOUGLAS COUPLAND
I realized that once people are broken in certain ways they can't ever be fixed, and this is somethi...
DOUGLAS COUPLAND
The richness of the rain made me feel safe and protected; I have always considered the rain to be he...
DOUGLAS COUPLAND
Time ticks by; we grow older. Before we know it, too much time has passed and we've missed the chanc...
DOUGLAS COUPLAND
Is that all time is - our perception of how quickly it does or does not pass?
DOUGLAS COUPLAND
Chronocanine Envy:
Sadness experienced when one realized that, unlike one's dog, one cannot liv...
DOUGLAS COUPLAND
How can we be alive and not wonder about the stories we knit together this place we call the world? ...
DOUGLAS COUPLAND