Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.

The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip.

My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself.

I played a great horse yesterday! It took seven horses to beat him.

If my mother knew I did this for a living, she'd kill me. She thinks I'm selling dope.

A Jewish woman had two chickens. One got sick, so the woman made chicken soup out of the other one to help the sick one get well.