Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.


Ambrose Bierce

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Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Absurdity. A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Absurdity. A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion
PIERCE
There are four kinds of homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.” ~ Ambrose ...
J.J. MCAVOY
No formal course in fiction-writing can equal a close and observant perusal of the stories of Edgar ...
H. P. LOVECRAFT
Christian, n. One who follows the teachings of Christ insofar as they are not inconsistent with a li...
AMBROSE BIERCE
'The Devil's Dictionary' reads like a collection of great Twitter posts. And as people d...
VICTOR LAVALLE
It's a big flash of all these things and whatever you take out of that statement's one state...
ALICE COOPER
Ecstatic absurdity: it's the confrontation with meaninglessness.
ERROL MORRIS
Genealogy, n. An account of one's descent from a man who did not particularly care to trace his ...
AMBROSE BIERCE
The certainty with which a religious belief is held is usually in direct proportion to its absurdity
DONALD MORGAN
For my own part, my belief in the perfection of the Deity will not permit me to believe that a book ...
THOMAS PAINE
This party will not take its position based o-n public opinion polls. We will not take a stand based...
STEPHEN HARPER
A belief is an opinion, a religion is a belief, and an opinion is a right.
YAHYA MOHAMUD
The words kept coming back to him, statement of a mystical truth and a palpable absurdity.
GEORGE ORWELL
The hypothesis of matter's being at first evenly spread through the heavens is, in my opinion, i...
ISAAC NEWTON
If one can only see things according to one's own belief system, one is destined to become virtu...
ROBERT ANTON WILSON
It's a rock 'n' roll thing to have one-night stands.
RICK SPRINGFIELD
Optimism, n. The doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
AMBROSE BIERCE
We no longer believe because it is absurd: it is absurd because we must believe.
JULIO CORTáZAR
The belief that one's own view of reality is the only reality is the most dangerous of all delus...
PAUL WATZLAWICK
Idolatry is in a man's own thought, not in the opinion of another.
JOHN SELDEN
To get nostalgic about other people's music, or even about your own, makes a terrible statement ...
NEIL PEART
REPENTANCE, n. The faithful attendant and follower of Punishment. It is usually manifest in a degree...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Many young people now end a discussion with the supposedly definitive and unanswerable statement tha...
THEODORE DALRYMPLE
Rock n' roll is not just a fashion statement; it is the attitude, and it has a political posturi...
CEELO GREEN
PREJUDICE, n. A vagrant opinion without visible means of support.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Whether it's people walking off 'The View' when Bill O'Reilly makes a statement abou...
ERIC CANTOR
The American people would not want to know of any misquotes that Dan Quayle may or may not make. �...
VICE PRESIDENT DAN QUAYLE
Any vehicle that conveys great songs and the ability to perform them, whether it's 'N Sync o...
TOMMY MOTTOLA
With realization of one's own potential and self-confidence in one's ability, one can build ...
DALAI LAMA
• Judge less–or at least later.
• Give new ideas and images a chance.
• Understand...
VICTORIA MORAN
An orthodox belief in big government's inefficiency cannot coexist with an orthodox belief in pr...
TIMOTHY NOAH
If I were offered a cochlear implant today, I would prefer not to have one. But that's not a sta...
MARLEE MATLIN
Leave me to my own absurdity.
SOPHOCLES
I only want three children for every family. I'm a Christian, but I'm a realist, so we have ...
RODRIGO DUTERTE
An opening statement is like a guide or a road map. It's a very delicate thing.
JOHNNIE COCHRAN
There's rock n' roll in hip-hop, there's rock n' roll in pop music, there's rock...
JOHN VARVATOS
I never engage negatively with reviewers. If someone says something that enrages me, I do what I do ...
NICK HARKAWAY
Lots of people speak Afrikaans. It's not a statement; it's just a language that we use to co...
YOLANDI VISSER
Summer is the time when one sheds one's tensions with one's clothes, and the right kind of d...
ADA LOUISE HUXTABLE
Elton John's opinion turned the label's opinion around, all in a day.
BARRY WHITE
Your own opinion about something or someone is your companion until you find a better opinion.
APURVA GAGLANI
He's a man who... well, one of the great things about Shakespeare is that his characters are inc...
JEREMY IRONS
Public opinion is a weak tyrant compared with our own private opinion. What a man thinks of himself,...
HENRY DAVID THOREAU
I like to think I'm a good mechanic for the company. 'Oh well, we sprung a leak? Call Ambros...
DEAN AMBROSE
Of course, one million compared with Palm's 15 million makes its own statement. Who do you want to p...
CARL YANKOWSKI
Problems or successes, they all are the results of our own actions. Karma. The philosophy of action ...
MAHARISHI MAHESH YOGI
Reading is equivalent to thinking with someone else's head instead of with one's own.
ARTHUR SCHOPENHAUER
I'm happy to have my own opinion and air it when I think it's necessary.
ROBERT MACNEIL
There's always gonna be rock n' roll bands, there's always gonna be kids that love rock ...
DAVE GROHL
If a guy is intimidated by a woman in leadership, he has real problems with his own concepts of masc...
TONY CAMPOLO
Public opinion is a weak tyrant compared with our own private opinion. What a man thinks of himself,...
HENRY DAVID THOREAU
Fashion is about owning whatever you're wearing, regardless of if it's a high fashion statem...
DARREN CRISS
It's not that our family has no taste, it's just that our family's taste is inconsistent...
DAVE EGGERS
Faith, n. Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of thi...
AMBROSE BIERCE
When you're facing an investor or the institutions or a distributor, it's you yourself with ...
MARTIN VILLENEUVE
If whatever we do changes one person's opinion, gets one person's readiness better than it w...
BILL GOLDBERG
A fashionable milieu is one in which everybody's opinion is made up of the opinion of all the ot...
MARCEL PROUST
I think it's just a statement of fact. I agree with it. Everybody is entitled to their own opinion. ...
BILL BELICHICK
Writing a novel is an incredibly free experience. One puts one's self in a narrative mode. You c...
DAVID MAMET
Justice means minding one's own business and not meddling with other men's concerns.
PLATO
About 90 percent of what's out there in cyberspace is hearsay - or lies - and opinion, often mis...
DAVID TANG
I I I I I I t t t t t t i i i i i i s s s s s s u u u u u u n n n n n n f f f f f f o o o o o o r r ...
TODD COBURN
I grew up with Scientology - my parents at one point were clerical. It's a pragmatic philosophy,...
GIOVANNI RIBISI
I wear heels. It's not for a fashion statement, it's... ammunition.
NIKKI HALEY
You're allowed to rip-off another score so close that it's ridiculous. In my opinion it'...
DANNY ELFMAN
Let tears flow of their own accord: their flowing is not inconsistent with inward peace and harmony.
SENECA
Let tears flow of their own accord: their flowing is not inconsistent with inward peace and harmon...
SENECA
A movie is really provocation. It's not a message, it's not a statement.
ANG LEE
But the debt limit obviously is something that needs to and will be passed. That is not inconsistent...
DAVID PLOUFFE
The mission statement of the RSC is to foster a constitutionally bound limited government, it's ...
BILL FLORES
You can tell if someone is about social intercourse or just about browbeating somebody with their op...
JOHN SCHNEIDER
Public opinion, I am sorry to say, will bear a great deal of nonsense. There is scarcely any absurdi...
RALPH WALDO EMERSON
One's own religion is after all a matter between oneself and one's Maker and no one else'...
MAHATMA GANDHI
Where we've gotten mixed up is that we believe actions follow belief. But experience creates belief....
REV CECIL WILLIAMS
I wear heels, and it's not for a fashion statement - it's ammunition.
NIKKI HALEY
Deliberation, n.: The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on.
AMBROSE BIERCE
We're going through a kind of ancient, barbaric war dance now - it's almost an ultimate in a...
CLARK M. CLIFFORD
An ostentatious man will rather relate a blunder or an absurdity he has committed, than be debarred ...
JOSEPH ADDISON
An ostentatious man will rather relate a blunder or an absurdity he has committed, than be debarre...
JOSEPH ADDISON
An ostentatious man will rather relate a blunder or an absurdity he has committed, than be debarre...
JOSEPH ADDISON
One has to draw upon one's own musical thoughts and one's own musical acumen, and not to be ...
JESSYE NORMAN
One's only rival is one's own potentialities. One's only failure is failing to live up t...
ABRAHAM MASLOW
Basically, at the very bottom of life, which seduces us all, there is only absurdity, and more absur...
ALBERT CAMUS
Don't undertake a project unless it is manifestly important and nearly impossible.
EDWIN LAND
It is impossible to underrate human intelligence - beginning with one's own.
HENRY ADAMS
Love is union with somebody, or something, outside oneself, under the condition of retaining the sep...
ERICH FROMM
Sarah learnt a lot from Alex. Like the way men could say one thing, then another, then act in a way ...
EMILY MAGUIRE
Laughter is the best way to get over something or get closer to something. It's one of the thing...
BRIE LARSON
I love a vintage look that's also a bit rock n' roll.
CARA DELEVINGNE
Preservation of one's own culture does not require contempt or disrespect for other cultures.
CESAR CHAVEZ
Stubborn and ardent clinging to one's opinion is the best proof of stupidity.
MICHEL DE MONTAIGNE
the shit is bananas B-A-N-A-N-A-S
GWEN STEFANI
Guitar music or rock n' roll or whatever you want to call it sort of goes away with trends, but ...
ALEX TURNER
By the side of the everlasting Why there is a Yes--a transitory Yes if you like, but a Yes.
E.M. FORSTER
No one is ever really a stranger. We cling to the belief that we share nothing with certain people. ...
MARK HADDON
It is my belief that one's salary is between an individual and the IRS.
JESSICA SAVITCH
No one has the right to destroy another person's belief by demanding empirical evidence.
ANN LANDERS
The most interesting character to me is someone who is stuck in the no man's land between Belief...
RICHARD DOOLING

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Destiny: A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure.
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Belladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the e...
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Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
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Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate.
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Immortality: A toy which people cry for, And on their knees apply for, Dispute, contend and lie for,...
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Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
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Suffrage, noun. Expression of opinion by means of a ballot. The right of suffrage (which is held to ...
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Laziness. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree.
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Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
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Doubt is the father of invention.
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Life - a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
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Cabbage: a familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.
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Photograph: a picture painted by the sun without instruction in art.
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Cynic, n: a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.
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Deliberation, n.: The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on.
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Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to ...
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Liberty:one of imaginations most precious possessions.
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Quoting: the act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
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Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.
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Success is the one unpardonable sin against our fellows.
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Optimist: a proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
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Litigant: a person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bone.
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Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.
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Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
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OCEAN, n. A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man -- who has no gills.
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ZEAL, n. A certain nervous disorder afflicting the young and inexperienced. A passion that goeth b...
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For every man there is something in the vocabulary that would stick to him like a second skin. His e...
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Education, n.: That which discloses the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understand...
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Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
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Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
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Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
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You don't have to be stupid to be a Christian, ... but it probably helps.
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Fidelity. A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
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Incompatibility. In matrimony a similarity of tastes, particularly the taste for domination.
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The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity.
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Marriage. The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two slaves, m...
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Bride. A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
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What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republi...
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Nominee. A modest gentleman shrinking from the distinction of private life and diligently seeking th...
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Learning. The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious.
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Consult. To seek another's approval of a course already decided on.
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Happiness is an agreeable sensation, arising from contemplating the misery of others.
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Life. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
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Acquaintance: a degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor or obscure, and intimate ...
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An acquaintance is someone we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.
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A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
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Beauty. The power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
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Let me tell you what a writer is. A writer takes comprehensive views, holds large convictions, makes...
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Corporation. An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility.
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Don't steal; thou it never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.
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Philanthropist. A rich (and usually bald) old gentleman who has trained himself to grin while his co...
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Age. That period of life in which we compound for the vices that remain by reviling those we have no...
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Success is the one unpardonable sin against one's fellows.
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Education is that which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understan...
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Destiny. A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure.
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Edible. Good to eat and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pi...
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Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify.
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Erudition. Dust shaken out of a book into an empty skull.
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Saint. A dead sinner revised and edited.
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Revolution is an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment.
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Impiety. Your irreverence toward my deity.
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Deliberation. The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on.
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Take not God's name in vain; select a time when it will have effect.
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A prejudice is a vagrant opinion without visible means of support.
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Bigot, one who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain.
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Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly un...
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Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration t...
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Admiration; is our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.
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To bother about the best method of accomplishing an accidental result.
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A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
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All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
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A lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves a glorious success.
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Peace, in international affairs, is a period of cheating between two periods of fighting.
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Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
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Optimism. The doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
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An optimist is a proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
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They say that hens do cackle loudest when there is nothing vital in the eggs they have laid.
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Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
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Heaven lies about us in our infancy and the world begins lying about us pretty soon afterward.
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As records of courts and justice are admissible, it can easily be proved that powerful and malevolen...
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Before undergoing a surgical operation, arrange your temporal affairs. You may live.
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Politeness -- The most acceptable hypocrisy.
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A man is known by the company he organizes.
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Logic, n. The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapaciti...
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Enthusiasm. A distemper of youth, curable by small doses of repentance in connection with outward ap...
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Egotist. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than me.
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An egotist is a person interested in himself than in me!
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Duty. That which sternly impels us in the direction of profit, along the line of desire.
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Opiate. An unlocked door in the prison of Identity. It leads into the jail yard.
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Insurance: An ingenious modern game of chance in which the player is permitted to enjoy the comforta...
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Backbite. To speak of a man as you find him when he can't find you.
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Alien. An American sovereign in his probationary state.
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Miss: A title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate that they are in the market. Miss, Mis...
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Witticism. A sharp and clever remark, usually quoted and seldom noted; what the Philistine is please...
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Wit. The salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out.
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A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man, who has no gills.
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Impartial. Unable to perceive any promise of personal advantage from espousing either side of a cont...
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Dog. A kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the worl...
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Physician -- One upon whom we set our hopes when ill and our dogs when well.
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Divorce. A resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
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Consul. In American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is give...
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Forgetfulness. A gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscien...
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A cynic is a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, and not as they ought to be.
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Confidante. One entrusted by A with the secrets of B confided to herself by C.
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The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.
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Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is ...
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A funeral is a pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker.
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An accident is an inevitable occurrence due to the actions of immutable natural laws.
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To apologize is to lay the foundation for a future offense.
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An account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly k...
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Historian. A broad -- gauge gossip.
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Habit is a shackle for the free.
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Laughter -- An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarti...
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Litigant. A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones.
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Appeal. In law, to put the dice into the box for another throw.
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Trial. A formal inquiry designed to prove and put upon record the blameless characters of judges, ad...
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Experience is a revelation in the light of which we renounce our errors of youth for those of age.
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Experience. The wisdom that enables us to recognize in an undesirable old acquaintance the folly tha...
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The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
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PROPHECY, n. The art and practice of selling one's credibility for future delivery.
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When in Rome, do as Rome does.
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To be positive: to be mistaken at the top of one's voice.
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Censor, n. An officer of certain governments, employed to supress the works of genius. Among the Rom...
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Bore -- a person who talks when you wish him to listen.
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Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by frie...
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Irreligion. The principal one of the great faiths of the world.
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Faith: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things withou...
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Architect. One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.
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Genealogy. An account of one's descent from an ancestor who did not particularly care to trace his o...
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Absurdity. A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.
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Abstainer. A weak man who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
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Woman absent is woman dead.
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The covers of this book are too far apart.
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Abscond. To move in a mysterious way, commonly with the property of another.
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Creditor. One of a tribe of savages dwelling beyond the Financial Straits and dreaded for their deso...
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A coward is one who in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs.
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Conservative. A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from a Liberal, who wi...
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The Senate is a body of old men charged with high duties and misdemeanors.
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Compromise. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction of ...
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Alliance. In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserte...
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ALLIANCE, n. In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply in...
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Acquaintance is a degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor and obscure, and intima...
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ARSENIC, n. A kind of cosmetic greatly affected by the ladies, whom it greatly affects in turn."Eat ...
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Compromise. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction o...
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Convent. A place of retirement for women who wish for leisure to meditate upon the sin of idleness.
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Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.
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International arbitration may be defined as the substitution of many burning questions for a smoulde...
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DIPLOMACY, n. Lying in state, or the patriotic art of lying for one's country.
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Calamities are of two kinds. Misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
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Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
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A bride is a woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
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Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic.
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There are 4 kinds of Homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.
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FIDELITY, n. A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
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ZOOLOGY, n. The science and history of the animal kingdom, including its king, the House Fly ("Mus...
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HIPPOGRIFF, n. An animal (now extinct) which was half horse and half griffin. The griffin was a com...
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ZENITH, n. The point in the heavens directly overhead to a man standing or a growing cabbage. A m...
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YANKEE, n. In Europe, an American. In the Northern States of our Union, a New Englander. In the So...
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Hypocrisy: prejudice with a halo
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Forgetfulness. A gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscie...
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One who is in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs.
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OBSESSED, p.p. Vexed by an evil spirit, like the Gadarene swine and other critics. Obsession was onc...
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Optimism. The doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
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Women and foxes, being weak, are distinguished by superior tact.
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Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited.
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QUEEN, n. A woman by whom the realm is ruled when there is a king, and through whom it is ruled wh...
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When you are ill make haste to forgive your enemies, for you may recover.
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Electricity seems destined to play a most important part in the arts and industries. The question of...
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Electricity is the power that causes all natural phenomena not known to be caused by something else.
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ECCENTRICITY, n. A method of distinction so cheap that fools employ it to accentuate their incapaci...
AMBROSE BIERCE
LAND, n. A part of the earth's surface, considered as property. The theory that land is property s...
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The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.
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Birth: The first and direst of all disasters.
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Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.
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Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affai...
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Amnesty, n. The state's magnanimity to those offenders whom it would be too expensive to punish.
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Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.
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Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.
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Famous, adj.: Conspicuously miserable.
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Positive, adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice.
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Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
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Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake ...
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Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth ke...
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Dog - a kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the wor...
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Acquaintance. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.
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Perseverance - a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.
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Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities ...
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Prescription: A physician's guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the...
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Lawsuit: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
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Compromise, n. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction ...
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The best thing to do with the best things in life is to give them up.
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TELEPHONE n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeab...
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Egotist, n. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me.
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Positive, adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice.
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Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
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Sweater, n. Garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
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Sabbath - a weekly festival having its origin in the fact that God made the world in six days and wa...
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