Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.

Women and foxes, being weak, are distinguished by superior tact

UGLINESS, n. A gift of the gods to certain women, entailing virtue without humility.

CIRCUS, n. A place where horses, ponies and elephants are permitted to see men, women and children acting the fool.

Convent - a place of retirement for women who wish for leisure to meditate upon the sin of idleness.

Rum, n. Generically, fiery liquors that produce madness in total abstainers.