What does a homeless person do the first time you let them use a computer? Searches through the recycle bin.

If you think patience is a virtue, try surfing the net without high speed Internet.

I called tech support and told them my computer is frozen. They said to hold the power button, and I was like 'Ummm.. it's covered with ice man."

Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.

The only sure way to make a computer go faster is to throw it out the window.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.