I called tech support and told them my computer is frozen. They said to hold the power button, and I was like 'Ummm.. it's covered with ice man."

If you think patience is a virtue, try surfing the net without high speed Internet.

The only sure way to make a computer go faster is to throw it out the window.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

When a man gets close to a woman wearing a leather mini-skirt, his heart starts beating faster, his throat gets dry, his knees get weak and he becomes irrational.. Why? Because the leather smells like a new car.

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.