Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.

When a man gets close to a woman wearing a leather mini-skirt, his heart starts beating faster, his throat gets dry, his knees get weak and he becomes irrational.. Why? Because the leather smells like a new car.

I'm not afraid of flying, I'm afraid of not flying.

My decision making skills are as good as a squirrel that's crossing the street.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

The only sure way to make a computer go faster is to throw it out the window.