The probability of meeting someone you know increases a hundredfold when you're with someone you're not supposed to be seen with.

It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it.

I don't need a psychiatrist to prod into my personal life and make me tell them all my secrets, I have my friends for that.

You can talk to yourself and you can answer yourself, but if feel the need to pardon yourself, that's when you know something's wrong.

You know you are getting old when the candles on your birthday cake start to cost more than the cake itself.

I know the voices in my head aren't real..... but sometimes their ideas are just absolutely awesome!