My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive.

My wife can't cook at all. She made chocolate mousse. An antler got stuck in my throat.

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.

With me, nothing goes right. My psychiatrist said my wife and I should have sex every night. Now, we'll never see each other!

My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it.

My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.