My wife can't cook at all. She made chocolate mousse. An antler got stuck in my throat.

My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive.

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.

What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and he told me about the butcher and my wife.

My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.

With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me.