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It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.


Rodney Dangerfield

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It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.
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JUDE WATSON Palm trees were fanned by a warm, light breeze, and they rolled down their windows to smell the sea.
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MACKENZIE CROOK I'm like my zombies. I won't stay dead!
GEORGE A. ROMERO The drink? Yes, I've had tough times in my life, especially the last year, regarding my ex-wife,...
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SHIRLEY TEMPLE My wife was attacked and bitten on the beach four years ago. Even if a dog comes up playfully, she?s...
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ICE CUBE At my core, the glass isn't half-empty - it's not even what I ordered in the first place.
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EMILY WATSON I don't tour the TV studios. I don't gossip over lunch. I don't drink in Parliament'...
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STEVE ERICKSON Nobody's going to tell me that my dog doesn't love me. That's crazy talk.
CARRIE UNDERWOOD I've met so many remarkable people so far, coming up through stand-up all these years, who just ...
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R. KELLY My dog was with me all the time. I talked to my dog. She was my best buddy. I shared all my secrets ...
CATHY GUISEWITE Some people who know me might say, 'He's not a great example of a nice person; he's a ma...
DAVE CHECKETTS My mother has a tremendous amount of pride and self-respect. She won't take assistance from anyb...
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LAWRENCE TAYLOR You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She...
ELLEN DEGENERES My wife is one of the best wimin on this Continent, altho' she isn't always gentle as a lamb...
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DOM DELUISE Now I look like Rodney Dangerfield. He wasn't too bad looking when he was younger.
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BRIAN WILSON My father once said, 'If you're in the desert and you're dying of thirst, are you going ...
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PHILLIP LIM People actually aren't moving on from companies much more quickly than in the past, but there...
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LARA STONE I got a Valentine's Day card from my girl. It said, 'Take my heart! Take my arms! Take my li...
ROBERT ORBEN I don't fear Holmes, but I think he's a good fighter. He has a lot of pride. But I wouldn...
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ANTON CHEKHOV When you're thirsty and it seems that you could drink the entire ocean, that's faith; when y...
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RANDY PAUSCH My wife isn't married to me forever; she's married to me for good. That keeps me on my toes.
MAL PANCOAST My wife isn't married to me forever; she's married to me for good. That keeps me on my toes.
MAL PANCOAST My wife can't cook at all. She made chocolate mousse. An antler got stuck in my throat.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD

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RODNEY YEE You can talk about anything if you go about it the right way, which is never malicious.
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RODNEY KING I won some genetic lottery. I always happened to be strangely good at mathematics in my head. I just...
RODNEY BROOKS She took a great angle. We've been stressing that. Early on in the season we weren't taking great an...
RODNEY TAYLOR The great myth that many social scientists want to encourage is that there is an incompatibility bet...
RODNEY STARK Well, he's a fiery guy. He's very competitive. He's high-spirited, he's emotional. ... I guess he's ...
RODNEY HARRISON We have to accept that we are just machines. That's certainly what modern molecular biology says...
RODNEY BROOKS We cannot let these sounds [find] and over-excite a sympathetic resonance.
RODNEY ROCHA The most glaringly obvious fact about the present case is the significant media and public interest ...
RODNEY MELVILLE I couldn't live here. The real estate is too high.
RODNEY CARNEY Do you want me to shut the trial down this afternoon? ... You are not to engage in this kind of inte...
RODNEY MELVILLE We as taxpayers have put in well over $12 to $15 billion of investment in a repository for high-leve...
RODNEY FRELINGHUYSEN Let me make it clear: I support health care reform. I just don't support Nancy Pelosi's vers...
RODNEY FRELINGHUYSEN I think it's better to wear outfits because everyone has on the same thing.
RODNEY HUGHES I don't see how you can grow as a world without being able to get along with people. So many peo...
RODNEY KING Hands-on experience is the best way to learn about all the interdisciplinary aspects of robotics.
RODNEY BROOKS I saw my hometown burning that day.
RODNEY KING The purpose of the 'Way Forward Group' is simply to do, in a formal way, what the royal family in Br...
RODNEY BARKER The current sleaze scandal is potentially very, very damaging indeed for the government, because the...
RODNEY BARKER If you look at almost any prominent political thinking intellectual these days, they have all moved ...
RODNEY BARKER This is purely an intellectual endeavor.
RODNEY MARTIN 'It's Alright, Ma' would be the prototype for that tune, I freely admit, ... When I was 12 years old...
RODNEY CROWELL I kicked it in full gear on the last lap, and ran it in like 52 seconds.
RODNEY OYLER The only place for women in football is making the tea at half-time.
RODNEY MARSH ...but we know better now, don't we?
RODNEY LOVELL So maybe with the research robots that are out there, people will come up with ways to use them to t...
RODNEY BROOKS The Keystone pipeline is one of those things that's sort of a political driver. And mostly, the ...
RODNEY FRELINGHUYSEN Right now my favorite TV show - because it's too close to home - is 'My Name Is Earl.' T...
RODNEY ATKINS Our external experiences are what make us different. Our internal systems are what make us the same.
RODNEY LOVELL Judge yourself fairly. Sentence yourself lightly. Pardon yourself often.
RODNEY LOVELL An infinitesimal illumination is most valuable in the darkest room.
RODNEY LOVELL Sometimes a significant truth is found in a simple sentence.
RODNEY LOVELL