My cousin's gay, he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock.

My cousins gay, he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock.

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

I met the surgeon general - he offered me a cigarette.

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.