I fear one day I'll meet God, he'll sneeze and I won't know what to say.

Sorry for being late, I was enjoying my last few minutes of not being here.

Always run away from temptations... but slowly, so they can catch up to you.

My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.

If you want to know how your girl will treat you after marriage, just listen to her talking to her little brother.

I know that I am stupid but when I look around me I feel a lot better.