I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.

This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing at me.

I met the surgeon general - he offered me a cigarette.

When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.