A farmer is sitting on his porch in a chair, hanging out.
A friend walks up to the porch to say hello, and hears an awful yelping, squealing sound coming from inside the house.
"What's that terrifyin' sound?" asks the friend.
"It's my dog," said the farmer. "He's sittin' on a nail."
"Why doesn't he just sit up and get off it?" asks the friend.
The farmer deliberates on this and replies:
"Doesn't hurt enough yet.


Amanda Palmer

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I never knew what real love was. I knew nothing about it. I saw it from time to time, I just never k...
SHELLIE PALMER
The harder we play them, the harder they play us back.
BRIAN PALMER
Our doctors had no reason to doubt his story.
BRIAN PALMER
Programs have responded to guidelines by making changes to residents' schedules without appropriate ...
BRIAN PALMER
They have to do their job, but going down a one-way street is ridiculous. It's horrible to have anot...
BRIAN PALMER
The only thing we can do, as a Legislature, is to suspend the sales tax on gasoline. The idea is to ...
BRIAN PALMER
I grew up in poverty on the edge of a golf course. I saw how people lived on the other side of the t...
ARNOLD PALMER
Throughout my 40 plus years of knowing and working with Bill that has been his role, be it in busine...
BOYD PALMER
If anyone was put on this earth to fulfill the role of ambassador, defined as the 'highest ranking d...
BOYD PALMER
We're reactive right now, in the sense that we are in a lot of ways waiting for the companies to com...
BOYD PALMER
We have survived. There is plenty of living to do.
BOYD PALMER
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
BOYD PALMER
It's emotional when you see everyone walking in a group of survivors.
BOYD PALMER
I was thrown in the deep end at 18 when I got cast in a movie that I didn't audition for. The di...
TERESA PALMER
I feel like you have to tell people who you are, but you don't have to be disrespectful about it...
KEKE PALMER
I'd like to see a further development of downtown.
CAROL PALMER
We would like to maintain this beautiful music.
CAROL PALMER
There is a willingness among pastors, but they have told me they really do not have the skills. Past...
CAROL PALMER
.We will finish that exercise. by July for the start-up of case management in the Criminal Division ...
CAROL PALMER
.We got to the point of identifying the value of the debt in 2003/2004, entered into four-way discus...
CAROL PALMER
Restorative Justice puts a human face on the handling of crime and violence. Rather than being purel...
CAROL PALMER
I was so dorky up until I was about 14 or 15 and started to get a little bit cooler, but I was a soc...
TERESA PALMER
It was just a weird, eerie feeling in the stadium. It was something I've never felt before.
CARSON PALMER
He's unbelievable. He's probably the best receiver in the league now that T.O.'s not playing. In fac...
CARSON PALMER
It opens up the passing game, ... When a guy gets open that early, it definitely puts fear into thei...
CARSON PALMER
Complete 80-85. Don't set limits for yourself. The ones we really want to eliminate are the ones he ...
CARSON PALMER
We have a Pro Bowl guy on a rookie, and that's something that makes me lick my chops,
CARSON PALMER
That's why we're 2-0 right now. It's created tons of points and taken points away from teams. We nee...
CARSON PALMER
I'm not sure how many catches T.J. ended up having, but he ended up being the go-to guy.
CARSON PALMER
Just from a physical point of view, he's an outstanding quarterback. There isn't anything different ...
CARSON PALMER
You get the goose bumps going into this week on Monday and Tuesday. You realize how big of a game it...
CARSON PALMER
That Super Bowl was so long ago, I probably saw it but I don't remember it,
CARSON PALMER
Socialism is workable only in heaven where it isn't needed, and in hell where they've got it
CECIL PALMER
I quit flying myself last year and that was difficult for me because I enjoy it as much as playing g...
ARNOLD PALMER
I can't work all day and then go home and hang out with the same people. I don't want everyt...
KEKE PALMER
I feel like I've been known for having long black hair, so when I took all my extensions out and...
KEKE PALMER
I want to present a very strong and bold image, but with femininity. I love being sweet and salty al...
KEKE PALMER
My search for ways to improve my touch has never ended. We players tried a lot of different things a...
ARNOLD PALMER
There is no king of golf. Never has been, never will be. Golf is the most democratic game on Earth.....
ARNOLD PALMER
I have a tip that will take five strokes off anyone's golf game. It's called an eraser.
ARNOLD PALMER
I have a tip that can take 5 strokes off anyone's golf game. It's called an eraser.
ARNOLD PALMER
He told his advisement teacher that this child was going to beat him up.
ANGIE PALMER
The trailer is set up into several sections. The first section is a kitchen, where we teach about sa...
CHARLES PALMER
I think we're not going to know much about her, and she won't disclose much in her hearings, so once...
CHARLES PALMER
This thing is trying to be one of the most paranoid devices on the planet.
CHARLES PALMER
Ever since I bought and started flying an airplane, it's been almost exclusively for business. I...
ARNOLD PALMER
My grandson Sam Saunders has been playing golf since he could hold a club and I spent a lot of time ...
ARNOLD PALMER
I probably have a club in my hands 360 days a year, one way or another, playing with friends or just...
ARNOLD PALMER
I think David's ready to take his game to the next level. He has a better command of the offense. He...
CHRIS PALMER
Look at the better players of my era - Jack Nicklaus, Gary Player, Lee Trevino, Raymond Floyd. They ...
ARNOLD PALMER
It's bad enough that I'm an actress that wants to be recognized as an actress. Instead, I am...
BETSY PALMER
Great touch is often written off simply as 'talent,' which is crucial, because a good swing ...
ARNOLD PALMER